Tris POV
The sun streaks through the windows of the initiate dorms as I slowly wake from my sleep. I sit up, my muscles still sore from the constant, initiation, combat training last week. This week's training is different. Four told us we wouldn't be physically fighting anymore, it's more....mental apparently.
A few others are up at this point as I finish making my bed. Eric walks in for the usual wake up call, "Everyone in the training room, 10 minutes!"
"Morning" Christina says yawning as I walk up to her bed.
"Hey, want me to go grab some muffins from the cafeteria?" I ask.
"Sure, I'll take blueber- wait no chocolate. Their blueberry ones are gross...." she replies making a face.
"So candor of you." I say, rolling my eyes jokingly.
****
After a quick breakfast Christina and I run to the training room, arriving last out of everyone, just in time to start.
"As I told you yesterday this next section of training will be more mental than physical." Four informs us.
"What're we Erudite?" Molly sneers.
Four ignores her and continues, "This type of training will tap into the part of your brain that processes fear, so we'll see just how Dauntless you really can be."
After Four finishes explaining he leads us down a hall I haven't been through before, which opens to a room which many chairs....kind of like a waiting room but Dauntless style. Lauren, the initiate trainer for the dauntless born, and her group are already there.
"Everyone take a seat." Four starts, "I'll call you each in, one at a time" gesturing to us, "and Lauren will call in her initiates one at a time."
"Sounds fun" Uriah, whom I took a seat across from, remarks sarcastically.
Once everyone sits Lauren and Four each call in their first person. Marlene is the first of the Dauntless born initiates to go in one of the two rooms with Lauren, and Al is the first of our group to go in with Four.
Minutes go by and there is chatter about the room guessing what they coud be doing behind those doors. Finally Lauren comes out and calls her next person, and shortly after that Four calls his next. After many people being called in, one after another, minutes turn into what feels like hours and there are only a few of us left in the room. I bounce my leg nervously and start to get anxious.
One of the doors open and Four enters. "Tris, you're up next...c'mon" he says. I force myself to get out of the chair and walk toward him to the room. A twisted feeling overtakes my stomach when I see what's inside.
There is a chair, sort of like one you would see a dentist but less comfortable, and is exactly like the one at my aptitude test. Beside it is a heart monitor and some other computers and machines of sorts. He lightly sets his hand on my back and nudges me along into the room.
"Take a seat." he says as his hand lifts off my back. As I sit he walks toward a table next to the monitors and computer, and from a drawer draws out a black box. He opens it, and it reveals a syringe. I gulp nervously. I hate needles. I have, ever since I was a child. Going to the doctor for annual checkups was the most nerve-racking thing ever for me. He then picks up a small vial filled with an orange sort of liquid, then proceeds to fill the needle with it.
"What's the needle for?" I ask shakily, my eyes wide.
He looks at me, "Not a fan of needles I take it?" He replies.
"It may sound silly but yah....they're actually one of my worst fears, have been since I was little."
"Well you might have to face that fear twice today then." He says.
He sees the even more confused and worried look on my face and explains, "The transmitter in the serum allows me to see images inside your mind. It also harnesses your worst fears and puts you through them. To get out of the fear and simulation you have to either figure out a way to face your fear, or calm down. And using these electrodes it allows your simulation to appear on the screen for record as well."
A little overwhelmed by the surplus of information all I manage to say is, "So you can see inside my mind? Isn't that....well, a little invasive?"
He looks at me, at first a bit impatiently, and then calmly replies, "Look Tris, most people's fears aren't super personal or private. In fact, many tend to not know their real fears themselves. This training exercise is 1. A way to learn how to overcome your fears, without being in real danger, so when you are out in real danger you know how to handle it, and
2. To learn what your real fears are. The average amount of fears one has is 10-15 really bad ones, but don't worry you won't have to face them all at once. Per simulation you only go through about one or two."
His explanation calms me down a bit but I'm still weary about the needle...
"You ready?" He asks.
"I guess so....I mean y'a know I only have to undergo one of my worst fears to allow me to go through my others." I reply worried and a bit sarcastically.
"Just relax." he says as he takes my arm and turns it so the inner part of my arm is facing upward.
"On the count of three" he adds, "1...2....3" he says as he eases the needle into my arm, and presses down on the plunger. The pain of the needle makes me wince and I look up at his deep blue eyes to stay calm.
"There that wasn't so bad now was it?" He smirks as he eases the needle out of my arm.
"No I guess not." I say, my breath releasing.
"The serum will go into effect in exactly one minute." Four says, "Remember in order to get out of the simulation you have to slow your heart rate and your breathing or figure out a way to overcome your fears."
The signs of fear immediately start overtaking my body. My heart racing, my palms sweaty, my brain buzzing, my eyes wide holding a worried look, I look down at my legs.
"Hey," he says as his hand curls around the side of my head to lift my eyes up to his, "be brave Tris"
His eyes are the last thing I see, his hand around my head the last thing I feel, be brave Tris, are the last words I hear as I slowly succumb to the serum....
****
"HELP" I scream, waking from the fear landscape with a start.
"Tris it's me it's ok, it's ok you're fine calm down" Four reassures me with a calm, tender voice.
I look at him tears swelling in my eyes. "That was the worst thing I have experienced in my life!" I sob as I bring my knees into my chest, still sitting in the chair.
"The first time is always the worst" he replies.
"You mean I have to do it....more?"
"Yes" he says looking at me, "you have to practice several times before your final but that shouldn't be too difficult for you."
" not too difficult?.....what do you mean?? I hated that, it was awful! What makes you think it won't be difficult for me?" I retort.
He pauses for a moment "Tris how long do you think you were in there?...the sim" He asks.
I think about this for a moment. How long really was I in there for?....Finally I make a guess, "I dunno....20-30 minutes maybe?" My face is still wet with tears, my breathing still heavy.
"Not even close" he replies, "Try 3 minutes...which is more than 4 times faster than the average"
This surprises me, "So?" I ask, "What does this have to do with level of difficulty?...."
"The faster you're able to get out of your sim the higher you rank and the more points you get. On your final test they watch how you handle your fears and how quickly you can get out of them, and I've never seen anyone do it that fast." He informs me.
"Wow...so you're saying I could actually be pretty good at this?" I ask
"I'm not saying you could be" he says, "I'm saying you already are. So the next time shouldn't be nearly as difficult."
A slight smile creeps across my face. Maybe I can get through this...maybe I can get through Dauntless initiation after all.
"Anyways you should get going. I'll see you again tomorrow for this." He says as he walk towards the door that leads out the back of the room, about to open it.
I stand up, maybe a little too quickly. My heart immediately starts racing and I'm suddenly breathing very heavily. My legs feel weak beneath me. I look into his deep blue eyes with a look of fear deep in mine.
"Tris are you alright?" He asks. Though I can barely hear him at this point, all I mange to get out is "Four help m-" as I then go limp and fall towards the ground. The last thing I feel is him catching me in his arms.
****
Tobias POV
When Tris stands up I immediately know something is wrong once I see her. She is breathing very heavily, looks very weak like she can barely stay standing. She looks at me, her eyes filled with what looks like fear.
"Tris are you alright?" I ask.
She starts to reply, "Four help me" is all she manges to get out before she goes limp hitting her head on the way down.
I immediately rush over to her, catching her in my arms. Her face, which now has a deep cut on it, is extremely pale, her eyes closed. "A little help!" I yell, lowering her fully into the floor, her head resting on my legs.
Lauren rushes into the room "what's wrong?"
She asks then sees Tris' body on the floor. "Oh no"
"Can you finish the rest of my students simulations for me today? There's only Edward and Will left. I need to get her to the infirmary." I ask
"Yah sure no problem" She says before leaving the room.
The door at the back of the room, leading into the back hallway, is already propped open. So I scoop Tris up, easing one arm under her knees and the other under her back. I stand up, surprised by how light she is, and get to the infirmary as quickly as I can.
****
Tris POV
I slowly open my eyes, my head hurting while I do it. Where am I? How did I- then I remember. The simulation...I stood up....passed out or something. I feel a slight pain in my arm then look to see an IV in it.
"Tris! You're awake!" Christina says sitting beside me. I didn't even notice her sitting there until she spoke.
"Do you remember what happened?" She asks.
"Yah...I think so...I stood up after the fear sim to leave the room and then I suddenly passed out or something" I say.
"Yah and you hit you head on the chair while doing it appears. You got a few stitches" she says while gesturing to my forehead.
I touch my forehead, feeling a sting where the cut is when I do. "How long have I been here?" I ask still dazed.
"About ten hours. It's around 7:00 pm." She says.
"Oh good you're awake." A nurse says as she walks up to my bed. "You looked like you could have slept for several days."
"When can I leave?" I ask.
"Well once all your vital signs are normal and we make sure everything else is fine then you'll be free to go." she says while wrapping a blood pressure cuff around my arm.
"So what exactly happened?...I mean like what caused me to pass out?" I inquire.
"Well we're not really sure, but it could've been something in the serum from your fear landscape training this morning, that had a negative effect on your body. Four certainly looked worried when he carried you in here." She replied, now checking my IV bag.
Four carried me? My face suddenly feels warm. I remember him catching me but he carried me all the way here? I smile threatens to creep across my face but I don't let it.
****
About 30 minutes later I am released from the infirmary, instructed to take some pain medicine twice a day for the next week. Christina walks with me to dinner where we find Will, Al, Marlene and Uriah.
"Hey there she is!" Uriah exclaims, "We thought you would never wake up!"
I let out a small laugh. Once we get our food we find a table and sit down.
"So how was everyone's fear landscape?" Will asks.
Christians shudders, "Moths, that's all I'm gonna say is moths."
"Huh?" Marlene says confused.
"She has an irrational fear of butterflies apparently" Al replies.
"Hey!" Christina exclaims, "Moths and butterflies are very different things. The moths made me wanna throw up! They were crawling all over me, getting under my clothes.... it was awful!"
"I'm trying to eat here y'a know!" Will says. We all laugh.
"What was yours like Tris?" Uriah asks, "Apparently you're pretty good at it, had the shortest time out of all of us! You have a secret trick or something? It must have been pretty easy for you."
What was mine like?....I almost don't remember until I think back...
"Oh gosh no" I reply, "Mine was awful! There were all these crows just swarming around me...."
We all talk about our fear landscapes for most of dinner. I decide to go on to bed a couple hours later still exhausted from the day I had
-The Next Day-
Four calls me into the room. I wasn't one of the last to get called for my fear landscape training today. I was actually one of the first. We go in order of our ranking now, and apparently I'm at the top for my group. Peter gives me a dirty look as I walk past him. He is still sour that he is ranked second place after me. I walk past Four into the room and sit down in the chair.
"How are you feeling?" Four asks me after closing the door.
"Better I guess" I reply, remembering that Four was the one who caught me when I fell and carried me to the infirmary.
"So...you're the expert on the serums. Do you think it was the serum that caused me to pass out?" I ask.
"Yes actually I do. In very rare cases the serum can have a negative effect on the brain and shut it down momentarily causing you to pass out. I've only seen it happen once before, and the person who passed out after the sim wasn't the same after. He did hit his head pretty hard which resulted in a concussion, which was why I was so worried about you after to hit yours. No concussion I assume though?"
"No, just a cut" I say with relief.
"Today's fear landscape will most likely be different than yesterday's. You will probably have one to two fears to go through but they will be different." He says as he starts to get the injection ready.
"By the way, how did you get rid of the birds in your fear landscape yesterday? The image wasn't clear."
I ponder this for a moment then reply "I just went into the water I guess..."
"Hm" he says, thinking about this. He picks up a couple wires attached to a monitor.
"What are those?" I ask.
"I thought it wise to attach you to the heart monitor during, and for a few minutes after, you are in the sim, just so we can keep track of your bodies reaction to the serum, and make sure what happened yesterday doesn't happen again. He puts one electrode under my shirt right over my heart and another under my shirt on the left side of my chest. His hands are warm and smooth as they brush against my skin.
"You ready?" He asks as he picks up the syringe.
The sight of the needle still makes me nervous but I'm not nearly as terrified as I was yesterday. Besides, his presence calmes me a bit.
He holds my forearm, inserts the needle into it, and presses down the plunger in one swift motion. I have to squeeze my eyes shut to keep myself from wincing from the pain. He takes the needle out and sets it one the table. And a minute later I drift off into the simulation
****
I wake from the simulation with a start, but not yelling and crying this time. Four's right...the second time is better.
"You alright?" Four asks.
"Yah, and you're right" I exhale, "the second time is better." Four starts to record the data into the computer.
"So how'd you do that?" He says still looking at the computer.
"Do what?" I ask.
"How'd you mange to break the glass" he clarifies while finally looking at me.
Today in my fear simulation I was in a glass water tank, with water filling up all the way to the top. Everyone was there watching me drown. There was a moment in the simulation where I realized it wasn't real...and so I just tapped on the glass and it broke, releasing me from the tank and ending the sim.
"I dunno....I just kinda did it I guess." I reply
"You just...did it?" He says looking deep into my eyes with a stern look on his face. He sits down on a stool next to my chair. I look at him.
Finally he breaks the momentary silence and asks, "What were your aptitude test results Tris?"
My mom's words ring in my head "Don't tell anyone Beatrice. Not your friends, your trainers, anyone."
I still haven't told anyone about my divergence...the only one who knows it Tori.
I try my best to stay calm so it looks like I'm not lying. I would've never fit in, in Candor. I take a deep breath and exhale replying with, "Abnegation."
"No, it's not" Four says
"What are you talking about??" I demand, my heart rate rising.
"I think you're lying." He says
He knows. I think to myself. He KNOWS.
"Tris" he says, I look at him. "I'm gonna ask you one more time. What were your test results?"
My heart rate on the monitor picks up, there's no hiding this now. I have to tell him, he's the one person I can trust. I'm sorry Mom. After a few moments of silence I inhale and exhale saying, "Abnegation, Erudite and Dauntless. My results were inconclusive Four...I'm Divergent"
Thanks for reading the first part of my fan fic!! I decided to set it up using a scene that is in the book. I did decide to add some twists of my own though, by making Tris pass out and her deciding to tell Four about her Divergence earlier. The next part after this will also be a part from the book, but after that the story will be mostly my own ideas and not in the book. I hope you like it!!