"For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person. And we are finally home." ― Stephanie Perkins
The Protector
I watched Mel in awe as she put her gun away and walked towards the bald man approaching us.
There were four black SUV's, packed full of men from what I could see, all of them poised and waiting.
Aaron came to my side.
"What's going on?" He asked.
"It's Jason." I said apprehensively as Mel spread her arms and the pair hugged tightly.
"They're friendly." Jack appraised from behind me.
I cast him a displeased look and put my gun away, hurrying after Mel.
By the time I got to them, they were laughing.
"Next time you want to make an entrance, maybe lose the army of heavyweights..." I commented as I approached them.
"Sorry pal, I wasn't sure what I was going to find." Jason said in a hearty English accent, far rougher and more pronounced than Mel's.
"Spencer, this is Jason, Jason, this is my husband, Spencer,"
Jason extended a hand and I shrunk back.
"You don't shake Spencer's hand." Mel said simply, not even flinching with embarrassment or awkwardness.
"You saved Mel?" I said matter-of-factly.
"I'm pretty sure she saved herself," Jason said, glancing at my wife with a smirk. "But I made sure she got here safely, yes." He nodded.
I nodded too before taking us all by surprise. I stepped forward and pulled Jason into a hug, slapping his back.
"I'm thankful you saved her, but keep your fucking hands off her." I said in his ear as we hugged, my head towering high above him.
He chuckled without humour and slapped my back in return.
"I wouldn't dream of doing anything else, mate."
The Fighter
I was relieved to see Jason and his men alive and well, even if it was rather peculiar and nerve-wracking, having them all in the front yard of the safe-house.
"Should we head inside and acquaint ourselves?" I asked excitedly, peering up at Jason and Spencer as they pulled apart from their friendly hug.
"I want to know how the hell you found me." I explained as Jason paused, unsure.
"Sure thing." He turned and beckoned his guys forward as Spencer and I started heading back towards our family.
"What's going on?" My dad asked, jerking his chin in the direction of the Brits as he returned his gun to his belt.
"We're heading inside to introduce ourselves before we leave." Spencer said gruffly, reaching inside the back of the car to get Matilda.
"How did they find you?" Beth asked worriedly as we headed back inside.
"That's exactly what I want to find out."
My family gathered in the kitchen, and Spencer kept Tilly protectively in his arms, his face a gorgeous mask of chiseled mystery, his mouth and stubbled jaw set, his large hands bracing Tilly's back, his eyes narrowed and focused on the men pouring inside the house.
I observed him for a moment, my tall and strong husband, knowing how terrified and yet simultaneously braced for action he currently was.
His long curly hair was pulled back from his face in a low bun, which Tilly was currently playing with as the men poured inside and stood awkwardly in the living area.
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Jason Jones," I said, taking a step forward to where Jason stood a few feet inside the front door.
"Jason, this is my dad, Aaron Hotchner, but you can call him Hotch." I explained, gesturing to my dad who stepped forward and shook Jason's hand brusquely.
"You brought my daughter here," He said with tearful eyes. "Thank you."
"All in a day's work." Jason said sheepishly, his tattooed hand withdrawing from my dad's.
"For all intents and purposes," I continued. "This is my mum, Beth." Beth stepped forward with tearful eyes, her bottom lip quivering.
"It's good to finally put a face to the name." She said in a shaky voice as Jason shook her hand.
"Likewise." He smiled and turned his eyes onto Jack who was standing defensively over Beth's shoulder.
"This is my brother, Jack."
"You're the one with the code," Jason remembered as they shook hands, Jack's eyes suspicious.
"You managed to get the family here, well-done kid." Jack opened his mouth to say something, but caught my warning expression.
He closed his mouth, thinking twice before he spoke.
"And this," I said excitedly, walking over to Spencer by the patio doors.
"This is our little Princess Tilly," I said, running my hand over Tilly's hair. "Tilly, would you like to say hello to Jason?"
Tilly turned around to smile at Jason who was sheepishly approaching us.
"It's nice to meet you, Jason."
Jason chuckled as Matilda extended her hand.
I could see Spencer's eyes widen frantically and I chuckled inwardly.
Jason slid his huge hand into Matilda's and shook it gently as he said,
"It's wonderful to meet you, madam."
Tilly's eyes went wide and she giggled.
"You sound like momma!" She cheered.
"Only slightly, baby-love, only slightly." I chuckled, reaching forward to kiss her head.
"I hope you don't mind me interrupting the introductions," My dad said loudly. Jason and I approached the rest of the people crowded in the main living area whilst Spencer hung back by the patio doors.
"But how on Earth did you find us? There's no GPS within the perimeter of this place."
"That's right, it made everything a right bugger," Jason said, rubbing his stubbled jaw with a ringed hand.
"I'm guessing you visited the beach a lot?" He suggested, looking at me. I opened my mouth, shaking my head before realising we'd been training a lot on the beach.
If you could run on sludgy sand, you could run anywhere.
"We've been training." I nodded and he smiled.
"What did I tell ya lads?" He said, looking over at his men crowded around my living room.
"I put a tracker in your burner phone," He explained. "Not to keep tabs on you, it's just in all of 'em," He explained matter-of-factly before any of us could protest. "That's how I was able to find this lot." He said, nodding towards his men.
"Aye, more like we found you, boss." One of them said in a thick Irish accent.
We all chuckled, but my family was still tense and distrusting.
"You'd pop up on our map every now and again, but it wasn't consistent, which is why it's taken us so long to trace you. We've been driving through those fu-" He caught himself and cleared his throat, his eyes darting to Matilda and Spencer.
"We've been driving through the trees for the last few days. I knew our plan was to meet at the airport, but I figured it'd be too dangerous to risk being seen there. I wanted to find you before you left."
"Perfect timing." Jack said suspiciously.
"Okay, stop," I said, holding my hands up. "We're all suspicious, I get that. We're all tense, we're on edge and we're scared. I've just come back, we've been training, and we're finally ready to head home. You guys rock up and take us all by surprise and have us all thinking it'd end in a shootout.
"It hasn't, and we're safe, so let's all just put this behind us, get over the nerves of the first introductions, and hit the road, okay?"
"Whoa," Jason said, throwing his hands out. "Do we even have a plan of where we're going or what we're gon do when we get there?"
"I told you." Beth said under her breath, folding her arms.
"We were going back to my parents' house," I explained, folding my own arms defensively. "There's a few people we have to check in on, we have to see the state of affairs, and then we move."
"Move where?"
"I don't know, we make a plan once we know the script."
"So you're playing it by ear?" Jason reiterated and I nodded.
"That's your plan?" One of the men asked.
"You can't drive from Canada to DC when you're on every most-wanted list, without a plan." Jason agreed.
"Well, I am," I shrugged. "We drive, we get there, we unwind, we plan, we act. That's the play-by-play."
"Melanie..." Jason groaned, shaking his head.
We all lapsed into silence.
"What's your plan?" I prodded.
"Well, we're going to need to come up with one. There's no way we can go by yours." He said simply.
"Well, we better get going. It's a long drive to DC. We can communicate and plan en route." My dad said, gesturing for the door.
"Yeah, you're right. Let's go," Jason beckoned for his men to follow him, and they led the way out of the house.
"You'll be riding with us?" Jason asked me as we left the house, pointing to the SUV's.
"Oh... uh..." I glanced back at my family as Spencer leaned to put Tilly into her seat in the back of the car. "I hadn't really thought about that..." I admitted, watching my dad climb into the driver's seat and Jack into shot-gun.
"There's not enough room for you in that car." Jason said simply.
"Yeah... I..." I sighed. "I was going in the trunk," I admitted. "I can't risk being seen at the border." I explained.
"So your plan was to stay in the trunk for an eleven-hour car journey?" Jason asked incredulously and I nodded.
"Fucking hell you really are focused on your family." He said, shaking his head.
"Okay, we ready?" Spencer asked, throwing a bag over his shoulder and joining Jason and I.
I looked up at him in confusion and he nodded to the SUV's.
"Now you don't have to sit in the trunk. That's what you guys were discussing, right?"
I looked up at him wondrously and nodded my head.
"Let me just say goodbye to the others. I'll catch you guys over there."
"Melanie," Beth hissed as I approached the car. "Why didn't you tell us he looked like that?" She demanded, her cheeks flushing.
"What?" I didn't have a clue what she was talking about.
"Jason," She hissed. "He's gorgeous." She said, craning her neck to watch Jason and Spencer walk towards the SUV's.
"Oh," I gulped and laughed. "I honestly hadn't noticed," I said, shaking my head as I turned to see Spencer climbing into the back of one of the SUV's as two of them began making u-turns towards the trees.
"He got me back to my family. That's all I care about," I shrugged and hugged her tightly. "Drive safe, we'll stay in touch." I said, kissing her cheek.
"Oh," She said, almost forgetting something. "I like that new title, you know," She said with a smirk. "Mum," She explained and my cheeks flushed. "I could get used to that."
*
It was excruciating, being away from Tilly on such a dangerous drive.
I knew that my parents and Jack would keep her safe and that they wouldn't have any troubles when it came to crossing the border.
And I was right. They didn't.
Us, however, well... we were another thing.
I argued and shouted and eventually got my own way, and was hiding in the trunk of the SUV as we went over the border.
I didn't want to risk any border officials recognising me, and I didn't know what kind of APB's were out. I couldn't take that chance, and so it was better to just remove me from the equation altogether.
I was laid entirely flat, surprised that I was able to do so. I really had shrunk in size.
There were bags and coats sprawled over me, in case they wanted to check the trunk.
Outside I could hear them asking questions and checking passports, and in the distance, I could hear sniffer dogs barking for drugs.
But, before long, we were driving off.
I was in the trunk for around an hour before we pulled in and I was able to get out.
"Jesus Christ that was terrifying." Spencer said, yanking me out and handing me some water.
"You should try laying in the trunk." I hissed, chugging back the water.
"Jimmy almost didn't make it." Jason said, coming around from the side of the car.
"What? What do you mean?" I asked frantically, glancing between them as Jimmy walked around the other side of the car.
"They asked if the passport was fake. They were curious about the picture." He shrugged as though it was nothing, chugging back an energy drink.
"For fuck's sake, like we can take that risk," I said, shaking my head. "I'm going to check-in, see where the others are at." I said, shaking my head again as I climbed into the back seat of the car.
Spencer joined me a moment later and smiled lovingly as I dialled Jack's number.
"Hey Mel, you okay?" He immediately answered and I smiled at the sound of his voice.
"We're good, Captain, how're you?"
"We're fine, we crossed the border almost two hours ago now. Did you get over okay?"
"Yeah, we're good. We've just stopped so I could get out of the trunk."
"Jesus, you really were insistent weren't you?" He laughed and so did I.
"It's best to err on the side of caution. How's Tills?"
There was rustling and a moment later a little voice said,
"Hello momma how are you?"
I grinned at the sound of her voice.
"I'm good baby-love, it's good to hear your voice, how are you?"
"I'm bored. Are we nearly there yet Grumpsy?" I laughed at Tilly's nickname for my dad, because he was Grumpy, she nicknamed him Grumpsy instead of Grampsy.
"Not quite sugarplum, just talk to your mommy." I could hear my dad's voice from the other line and I rested my head back, closing my eyes and basking in the comfort of their voices.
Spencer reached out and held my thigh, his presence comforting and reassuring, grounding me in the safety of the moment as Jason and Jimmy circled the car, stretching their legs.
"Is daddy with you mommy?"
"Daddy's right here, would you like to say hello?"
"Yes please, but just for a little while because I miss you too..."
We spoke with our daughter for a while longer, checked in on Beth and said a quick hello on the loudspeaker to my dad, before cutting the call as Jimmy and Jason got back inside the car.
"We good to go?" Jason asked
"Yeah, I'm sorry for snapping earlier." I apologised and Jimmy turned around.
"It's cool, this is your family and freedom. I'm sorry I spooked ya."
For the next few hours, we discussed what we could do once we got back. I was surprised that Interpol or the CIA hadn't intercepted us at the border, and Jason had explained that for the last fortnight, he had been completed unscathed by the authorities.
He'd been living in different hotels, using bank cards and going clubbing. He'd burned my bag of identities, clothes and passports. He wasn't once stopped by any agency, other than the police after a drunken bar brawl had landed him a night in the cells. I wanted to punch him in the throat when he told me this, but he explained he'd deliberately gotten arrested to test the water.
It made sense.
In a Jones kind of way.
But regardless, he was fine. He'd been released and traced the rest of his men over the following few days, all of whom were also living it up in the Candian nightclubs.
Spencer and I explained that we'd been cautious on trips to the beach, wearing bulletproof vests and training Jack and Beth on how to handle guns. Jason seemed impressed and had turned around in his seat to look at us properly.
"You're looking healthier," He had complimented. "You're less grey and more flushed. You're a normal colour," He'd joked. "The hair's growing back too," He admired. "Looks like the working out has helped, you're putting on weight." He said, pointing to my arms.
"I was a skeleton," I agreed. "I'm glad to finally be a little more like me." Spencer smiled lovingly at me and laced our fingers together.
"You're not what I expected," Jason had commented honestly, nodding to Spencer. "But you guys... You're good together. You have a beautiful family."
"And what about you?" Spencer had asked. "Do you have a family back in London?"
Jason had looked off into the distance sadly, shaking his head.
"I've found that in my game, it's too dangerous to bring women into the mix."
I had a funny feeling there was a story there, but neither Spencer nor I had pushed it much further.
Instead, we discussed a plan.
Our home was gone, and they'd been in a hotel before they'd left for Canada because of the explosion. So, we were all up shit's creek without a paddle.
Jason agreed that he and two of his men would stay with Spencer, Tilly and I, whilst three men stayed with my parents and Jack. The rest of his men would find a safe house, and Spencer and I had a plan for how we were going to obtain said safe houses.
It all banked on us getting home safely, and her being there like always.
The Spy
I'd visited the graves for the last two weeks since Jack and Spencer had met me there, Jack pushing Spencer in a wheelchair as the pair had looked so dishevelled and defeated.
At first, I'd panicked when they didn't show, and so I'd staked Hotch's house, to quickly learn that they'd gone.
I figured they'd done the right thing and taken a vacation, but that didn't stop me from going to the grave as we'd planned.
It felt disrespectful to stop going.
I'd stand by JJ's grave and mourn for her kids who must be so lost and devastated without her.
I'd stand by Rossi's grave and chuckle at the memory of all his quirky comments and witty come-backs. He may have been getting on a bit in years, but he was the sharpest out of us all.
And then I'd stand by Melanie's grave and ask her what the hell had happened and where the hell she was.
A sign. That's all I needed.
A sign to know that she was still here.
After their home had been bombed, things went pretty silent. I was struggling to find any new information, and I'd completely stone-walled on any more whispers. I was just too low-level.
But then, there was so much excitement, like the buzz of Christmas.
And that's when London was targeted. Evidently, due to the fact they'd majorly missed by bombing the Reid's home, they weren't taking any chances by letting anybody low-level in on their plans.
And so I couldn't do anything. I'd sat at home, sobbing as I watched women and children laid strewn on the streets of London, the Prime Minister making frantic announcements and the world leaders sending their mass condolences. There was nothing I could've done, and yet I felt so guilty it was suffocating.
"I don't know how much more I could've done," I whispered down to the headstone in front of me. "I know I've let you down." I suddenly became aware of a presence behind me and I attempted to turn, but not before something hard was pressed against the back of my skull.
"Don't move." The voice said calmly.
Familiarity rained over me and in an instant, I'd spun, grabbing the hand that held the gun to my head and twisting.
But, the person was far quicker than that.
She hit down onto my arm that had a grip on her own and I yelled out. She kicked out at my legs and I hit the grass, just as her body graciously fell on-top of mine, the gun forgotten about as she pinned my arms to the grass next to me.
"Hello Emily." She said, her chest rising and falling as she smiled wickedly down at me.
"M-M-Melanie?"
The Fighter
"Hi." I smiled, tears pooling in my eyes.
"Melanie!" She gushed, and I allowed her to throw her arms around me and pull me down to her properly, her laughter filling my ears as her tears flowed steadily.
"You haven't let me down." I told her as I rolled off her body and we got to our feet shakily.
"What?" She questioned incredulously, her blonde wig slightly askew.
"You were talking to me," I said, nodding at the headstones next to us. "You haven't let me down."
She scoffed and dusted grass from her cigarette pants, sniffling.
"I've let everyone down, but that's not what's important right now," She looked at me. "You're alive. What... How? Your hair." She reached forward to touch the side of my face.
"You know how it is," I shrugged. "Terrorist torture ain't cool," She winced and I looked away, shuddering the memories out of my mind.
"It doesn't matter," I said simply. "What matters is that I'm here, you're here, and I need your help."
"Anything." She said without hesitation and I smiled.
We looked at each other for a moment before reaching forward and hugging each other so tightly that neither of us could breathe.
"I can't believe you're alive," She said into my shoulder. "Spencer was right, he'd been saying that this whole time."
"I know," I said, unable to breathe as we held each other tightly. "A soulmate always knows."
The Protector
We had driven by the house to ensure our family had gotten home safely, and Jason relayed our plan to his men. They were stationed at the front and back of the house, and they had entered first to ensure that all was clear and safe.
We had then driven to the cemetery, and Mel's hand was clammy and shaking in mine.
"It's okay... I'm with you the whole way." I had reassured her. I'd directed Jimmy on where to drive, and he navigated the cemetery to where Mel's graveside was.
I couldn't even imagine how haunting the experience was for her, but I know that every second, I was so consumed with love and pride.
"We'll be right here if you need us." Jason had said as Mel and I had climbed out of the car.
"What was it like?" She'd asked curiously as we walked hand-in-hand over the grass towards the graves.
"We had a joint funeral for JJ and Dave," I explained, my mind shuddering at the memory. "Full military send-off. There was a sea of black and the procession here took at least forty minutes, we drove through the streets and they were lined... Everyone was expecting you..."
She'd looked at me with wide eyes.
"I couldn't bury you, I couldn't wrap my head around having a funeral for a body we didn't have. I was consumed by the belief that you were still alive. I didn't once give up... Until..." Mel's expression had faltered slightly. "Jack left to go live with Jessica... Just after you'd gone... A few months later I knew he was right, I couldn't keep hurting everyone, especially Tilly. So we had a funeral. And just as many people came to celebrate you,"
I had smiled with tears in my eyes and we stopped at the foot of her grave.
"That day will haunt me for the rest of my life."
Slowly she turned her eyes onto the headstone and winced, her hand covering her mouth as she read the words on the stone. She fell to her knees, crying and shaking.
"It's okay, Melly," I said quietly, kneeling next to her and wrapping my arms around her. She sobbed and shook and was at a loss for words.
Here lies
Chief SSA Melanie Hotchner-Reid
Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister
Who Gave Her Life to this Country
A Tout L'heure
"I felt like such a hypocrite, 'here lies'," I scoffed. "I knew we'd never find your body because I knew you hadn't died." I still couldn't believe that this entire time, I'd been right.
"You put it on my headstone," She sniffed, her breaths racking her chest as she looked up at me with glazed eyes.
"A tout l'heure," She reiterated. "You put it on my headstone."
"Are you mad at me?" I panicked.
"No," She said, reaching up to frame my face with her hands. "You never gave up on me." She cried, throwing her arms around me.
It was the most powerful moment of my life.
And yes, there have been many.
The birth of my daughter, the marriage to Melanie, and then the funeral of my wife. To name but a few.
But this, this was something else entirely.
This was love and grief, life and death, shock and complete relief.
It felt like two worlds colliding, two parts of history joining as one. It was completely inexplicable, and yet irrevocably wonderful.
After a while of sitting on the cold, hard grass, wrapped in each other's arms, we'd dried our tears and got to our feet, walking a few headstones down to mourn JJ and Dave, who lay side-by-side.
Mel was completely in shock, entirely and utterly devastated.
The entire experience was horrifying. She fell to her knees again, sobbing hysterically and crying out as if she were in total agony.
"I'm so sorry Melly." I cried, joining her on the grass again as she sobbed and shook in complete shock and heartache.
"I know you told me they'd died," She said in between sobs. "But being here... seeing it for myself..." She winced. "It just hurts so much."
I let her cry for a while longer before rubbing her arms, knowing we had to move.
"Emily will be arriving soon." I'd explained, and so we'd retreated to the tree that I'd seen Emily at on the day of JJ and Dave's funeral. We stood behind it and kept watch, until a motorcycle revved into the cemetery and Emily climbed off, her long blonde wig tumbling as she removed her helmet and climbed off, her body wrapped in leather gear.
She strolled to JJ and Dave's grave and stood there for a long time, her head bowed, before she kissed her fingers and pressed them to the headstones.
She then walked to Melanie's and I leaned down to kiss Melanie's head.
"Be nice." I warned and she smiled devilishly at me, silently stalking off towards Emily.
"She isn't going to play nice, is she?" Jason had whispered, approaching me as we watched Melanie pull her gun from her pants and press it to the back of Emily's head.
"What the fuck..." I mumbled, not knowing whether to intervene or not. Jason suddenly winced, jerking forwards but not entirely moving as the two women tussled around and then flattened each other to the ground.
"Damn that was fast..." He said under his breath and I agreed.
A moment later, the pair were sobbing into each other's arms.
"Fuck me, that's one heated renunion." Jason whistled beneath his breath, rubbing at his jaw as he retreated for the SUV.
Once they'd broken out of the hug and were staring down at Melanie's headstone, talking, I decided to approach.
"How long have you known?" Emily asked, watching as I wrapped my arm around Melanie's waist.
"Always." I shrugged simply.
"But for definite, the last two weeks, give or take a few days." Melanie explained with an emotional smile.
"You two," Emily said in a thick voice. "Everything you've overcome..." She shook her head. "It's not right," She said. "None of it is," She sniffed and wiped at her tears. "I can get you three safe houses by the end of today," She told Melanie, clearly continuing on from a conversation they'd been having.
"Be mindful of who you choose on your team, Mel, things have changed."
Melanie nodded her head and looked down at her grave again.
"That's what I'm worried about."
The Father
It was bizarre being back home, knowing that Melanie was still alive and visiting her own graveside.
It was strange to know that they were in contact with Emily, exchanging numbers on burner phones and being watched by some London mob-boss.
I felt as though I was living inside a bad Tarantino movie, but I knew it was necessary to protect our family.
"I just can't believe she's alive." Beth said as she loaded the washing machine and I filed away the clean dishes.
We'd left in such a hurry that there were things everywhere.
Currently, Jason's men were setting up shop in the back-yard and Jack was making some food. We'd left Canada late last night, and so it was first thing in the morning and we were all exhausted and famished.
Right now, Tilly was asleep upstairs and I felt paranoid enough to have a baby monitor buckled to my belt.
"Do you think we should have one of Jason's men outside Tilly's room?" I asked Beth as we left the utility room and began helping Jack with the food in the kitchen.
"Isn't that a little weird?" Jack asked.
"Yeah, I'm not sure about that, Aaron. A stranger sat in our hallway? That's a bit bizarre, don't you think? I mean, we don't know these people. They could be anyone."
"Melanie trusts them." I said simply.
"Yeah but dad, that doesn't mean we should just leave one of them alone with Tills."
I nodded my head, rubbing at my jaw.
"I just don't know what to do for the best, that's all I'm saying." I shrugged, defeated.
"Are you going to go back to work?" Jack asked apprehensively as we began boxing up the food for Jason's men.
"I probably should. Just to keep up appearances and check-in with who we can trust." I said thoughtfully.
"D'you think Spencer will go with you now that Melanie's back?" Beth asked curiously.
We were walking across the back-yard together and I was apprehensive.
"I don't think he'll want to leave Mel for too long." Jack said after a thoughtful pause.
"Maybe on a part-time basis," I agreed. "That'd be best for us all."
The Fighter
After what felt like the most draining morning of my life, we were heading back to my dad's. We'd gone by our house and I'd yelled and sobbed again, spending too much time on my knees on the cold hard grass in a fit of tears.
The sight of our beautiful home, completely destroyed and wound up with police tape, was just too much to handle.
I had my hood pulled up over my head and hoped that none of the neighbours would come out to check as I sobbed on the sidewalk.
"Melly, I'm worried about you... We should get you home." Spencer said to me, wrapping his arms around me and trying to guide me to my feet.
I felt floppy all over, as though my insides were turning to mush and my bones were turning to sawdust.
When I could stand, Spencer swept me up into his arms and Jason hurried out of the SUV to open the door to the back seat. Spencer guided me inside and strapped me up, kissing my head and holding me tightly in his arms as I cried and shook, feeling cold to my very core.
I felt lost in a trance, so entirely lost and dumbfounded and heartbroken that everything I'd built over the last few years had been destroyed in one jealous act of vengeance.
"Are you okay?" Spencer whispered against my cheek as Jimmy pulled the SUV outside my parents' house.
"I think so." I whispered gently, feeling as though my throat was lined with glass.
Nevertheless, Spencer helped me out of the car and the four of us entered the house, Jack coming downstairs as we got inside.
"What's happened?" He asked, alarmed at the sight of me in such a horrendous state.
"It wasn't easy." Spencer mumbled, guiding me for the stairs.
"Melanie?" My dad pushed out of the kitchen, a dish-towel over his shoulder.
"Dad..." I sobbed and he hurried over to me, pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me securely. He kissed my head as I sobbed into his chest, his familiar smell all of the comfort I needed in that moment.
Spencer kept me safe. Of course, he kept me safe. He was my anchor, my focus, my goal.
But my dad... He was my hero, the towering light-house that stood strong and steady regardless as to what was crashing against its shore.
"It's okay Melanie..." He said reassuringly against my head. "You're safe now. It's okay," He held me tightly, everyone looking on for a moment or two before dispersing.
"Let's get you upstairs." He said after a moment and gestured for Spencer.
I sniffed and took a step back, the pair of them flanking me as we took to the stairs.
When I swayed dizzily, Spencer swept me into his arms again effortlessly and carried me the rest of the way.
"Where's Tilly?" I asked as he lay me down on the bed in the room that used to be my bedroom all of those years ago.
"She's sleeping." My dad said, passing the baby monitor to me. I smiled at the sight of it, we'd used it so much in the early days, and it was great for when we were staying over here, chatting downstairs in the lounge whilst Tilly slept upstairs.
We normally didn't need it, but it was good to check in on her and make sure we were there for her when she awoke.
"I... I want to see her." I smiled emotionally, sitting up on the bed.
"Mel... you need to rest." Spencer said delicately, running his hands over my face.
"I know. But I want to see her."
My dad smiled and kissed the top of my head, leading the way out of the room.
We followed him slowly, my knees feeling weak but my body determined to make it to my daughter.
When we pushed inside the spare room, I was overwhelmed by the sight before me.
The guest room had been painted a light shade of pink, a mural of Tilly with farm animals adorning the main wall. She had a gorgeous white wooden sleigh bed, with princess drapes above.
I smiled at the sight of her peacefully asleep in the bed, her cars and toys strewn across the floor.
I dodged the toys as I tiptoed to her bed, and slid in beside her.
"Momma?" She mumbled sleepily.
"Ssh." I whispered, pulling her against me. She smiled against my throat and curled into my arms, just as Spencer pulled a blanket over the pair of us and leaned down to kiss my forehead.
"Rest well my beautiful girls."
The Protector
I walked downstairs and entered the kitchen to find Jason and Jimmy at the breakfast bar with Aaron and Beth, Jack stood off next to the sink.
"Is she okay?" He asked worriedly as I rested a hand on his shoulder.
"She will be." I nodded with a weak smile.
"Jason was telling us you and Mealnie decided you should go back to work." Aaron said and I nodded.
"We talked about it after the grave. Emily thinks it's a good idea if I go back part-time, just to get a sense of what's going on. We still need to identify who's working on the inside."
"I called Derek whilst you were away," Aaron said. "I'm going in this afternoon for a few hours. I want updates on London and the profile they have for the cell."
"Great idea," I nodded. "Once Mel's awake, I'll come join you."
The Rainbow
"All I'm saying is that I don't want you risking your life like last time."
"I'm not risking my life like last time," I insisted, rolling my eyes and pleased she couldn't see me. "It's different this time. We were running a task force and were the only ones in the building. This time, we're abstractly working on a profile and not even in touch with any of the coordinators for the bombings. It's purely a profile."
I could hear her sigh on the other line and could imagine her rubbing her forehead.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come home?"
"Becks, it's been two weeks. If we were going to be attacked, it would've happened already. You're working. You're needed."
"Yes, I am, and if you need me then you're my priority."
I shoved the lump out of my throat and blinked down at my ringed fingers on my keyboard.
"I promise I'll be okay. Derek and Savannah have been taking good care of me, and like I said, I'm barely involved in the profiling business anyway."
"I know, but you're involved in the tech business, Pen. This is an international terrorist organisation. If they find out you're trying to hack them-"
"You shouldn't even be saying that!" I hissed. "I'm not trying to do anything, I'm researching, and that's my job."
We were both silent for a moment.
"I'm sorry, you know I only worry because I care."
I sighed and shook my head.
"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. You're right. I'll be careful. I promise."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We disconnected the call and I angrily yanked my headset off, tossing it aside and running my fingers through my hair frustratedly.
I hated it when Becky worked away, for this precise reason. We were both agitated and on-edge, constantly waiting on either the team getting yanked into action, or the NYTC hitting a place Becky was in.
She was a forensic anthropologist which often required her to travel to different archaeological sites if remains were found. It was pretty exciting and historical, and she oftentimes found herself at the forefront of the media, much like our lovely BAU.
That's how we'd met.
After the explosion, we were both attending support groups and we just clicked. At first, it had been a friendship, but after a few months, we were falling in love, and I've never been happier.
"Knock, knock." Derek's voice came from the other side of my office door as he opened it.
"Hello my love..." I smiled, spinning in my chair to see him properly.
He was standing in my doorway, looking as dapper as ever in a three-piece black suit, a crisp white shirt enhancing his gloriously smooth, fine skin.
He was smiling at me from behind his designer eye-glasses and I grinned at the sight of them.
He'd been needing eye-glasses for so long and didn't want to admit to it. I had finally convinced him to embrace the frames so long as he was behind a desk, and invest in contacts if/when he returned to the field.
He appreciated the negotiation, and followed my advice it would seem.
"You're looking as handsome as ever." I grinned, getting to my feet excitedly.
"And you my ray of sunshine, are as gorgeous as the sunshine on a summer's day."
I scoffed and fanned the air.
"Stop that, you'll make me blush!" We both laughed. "What can I do you for?"
"Oh my sweet thing, if you could do me, Savvy would have your eyes out."
"We all know that if I could do you, Savvy would join us just as quickly."
Again we both laughed and Derek took my hand.
"I have a surprise for you," He explained, leading me out of the office. "I know you've been feeling down, and I know it's because we're back at work and things aren't the same, and I know things are tough for you."
"A surprise? Feeling down? Derek, what's going on?" He knew I felt on edge at the mention of surprises.
I used to love spontaneity and romance. But now, now I had to know everything that was going on, at all times. I hated being surprised and caught off-guard. It made me feel vulnerable.
"Just, wait and see."
He led me along the corridor and we pushed inside the bullpen, where everyone was huddled outside one of the offices, chattering away excitedly.
"What's going on?" I pressed as Derek led me across the bullpen.
"Yo Garcia you are not going to believe this!" Carter cheered excitedly as we pushed through the team and into the office that neighboured Hotch's.
Speaking of Hotch, he stood in front of the desk with his arms folded smugly, looking pristine in a suit, his brief-case on the sofa across from the door.
The shelves were bare, the room still rather drab and dull, but behind the desk, in the leather chair, sat none other than Dr. Spencer Reid.
"Spencer?" I choked, seeing his bright face smiling, his typical shirt and sweater making me feel like I'd been reunited with a comforting family member.
"Hello Penelope." He smiled, getting to his feet.
Immediately I spied his satchel strapped across his body and I froze to the spot, looking between the team in the doorway and Spencer on his approach to me.
"What're you...? Are you...? What's going on...?" Spencer laughed and pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me so tightly that I felt overwhelmed by his sudden presence.
It wasn't necessarily anything to do with the fact that he was physically here, that was a given and I'd seen him multiple times.
It was more to do with the fact that he seemed to be here. He was here in spirit and soul and I was overwhelmed at the feeling of him being here, that it completely took my breath away.
My eyes filled with tears and my throat choked, tears rolling down my cheeks and soaking up his sweater as I gripped him fiercely.
"You're back aren't you?" I cried, pulling back to look at him.
He nodded, his eyes filled with tears as he grinned at me.
"You're really back."
I think he knew what I meant, because he pulled me in for another hug and the team dispersed from the doorway.
"It's only on a part-time basis." Derek said simply as the pair of us composed ourselves and straightened out of our hug.
"I know everyone's probably asking you this, but are you sure you're ready?" I asked him curiously, worried that he was pushing himself too quickly.
I mean, Melanie had been gone for thirteen months. So much had happened. Two of Jack's birthdays, two of Tilly's-
That reminded me.
"Oh my Lord, Tilly's gift!" I gushed, cutting off his response.
"I can't believe you guys wouldn't let us be a part of her day!" I gushed, biffing his arm. "It doesn't matter, because we had our own celebration anyway. We had cake and played her favourite movie and it was adorable."
"It was." Derek laughed as Hotch and Spencer looked at him for confirmation.
"I'm sorry," Spencer apologised, taking one of my hands in both of his. "We just had to get away after the explosion, I'm sorry we weren't there. But, you can come round to see her anytime."
"Tonight?" I gushed desperately, excitement overwhelming me.
"I've missed her so much!" I sighed. "She's the most adorable, cutest little precious gem in the whole wide world and I can't wait to pick her up and smoosh her in cuddles and kisses and give her cake without anyone knowing."
Spencer and Hotch shared a nervous expression, but everyone laughed at my passion, regardless.
"You can tell Becky's out of town when Auntie Penny becomes obsessive." Derek joked, and this time I biffed his arm.
"How about I bring her over tomorrow night after work?" Spencer suggested.
I frowned in confusion and Hotch moved for the office door, peering out into the hallway to make sure nobody was eaves-dropping before closing it over.
"What's going on?" I asked curiously, worry starting to creep in.
"We're just a little paranoid about her safety," Spencer explained, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his pants.
"We can't be too careful after our home was attacked. We're living in a safe-house for the time-being, just to avoid any risk."
I gasped and nodded my head.
"Of course, of course. Listen, it's totally fine, I can wait to see the little munchkin until things die down a little, it's okay." I fanned the air, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with guilt and selfishness.
"No," Spencer smiled, shaking his head. "She'd love to see you, a little bit of normality."
"I don't want to put you guys out. It'll be stressful enough moving into the safe house. I can wait."
Spencer opened his mouth but was interrupted by Derek's cell-phone ringing.
"Is it a case?" Hotch asked as he looked at the caller ID. Derek nodded and answered,
"Derek Morgan,"
A few silent moments passed before he wrapped up the call.
"A cold case in Louisiana may just have come back to life."
The Protector
"That was close." Aaron mumbled to me as we made our way along to the conference room, Morgan already inside and on his cell.
"I feel so bad... I don't know what to tell her." I said nervously.
"We can't let her see Tilly... She'll tell her Melanie's still alive." Aaron whispered, looking around us warily.
"We have to get the briefing from Derek and get home." I said, decided.
The thing was, we both knew it wasn't going to be half as easy as that.
Melanie liked to brief us on any cases, and just by doing so, she broke so many rules. Unit Chiefs weren't supposed to interact with their teams anywhere near as often as what Melanie had done, and it would seem that Derek had adopted a balance of both Strauss' and Melanie's tactics.
He gave a quick summary, reintroduced Aaron and I, and then left, leaving Aaron and I feeling like rabbits caught in headlights.
Jackson then provided the briefing, and explained that Aaron and I would be remaining within the unit as the rest of the team travelled to Louisiana.
"No offence, what's the point in either of you returning if you aren't coming out on the field?" Wilson questioned moodily.
"What's your problem?" I said bitterly, appraising her with judgemental eyes.
I was stood by the doorway, my hands in my pockets, and she was sat at the table, leaning back on her chair in the most blaseé of ways.
Carter sniggered under her breath and got to her feet, her eyes sparkling as she smiled at me.
"Excuse me?" Wilson asked, turning her cat-like eyes towards me. Beside me, Aaron shifted his weight uncomfortably, but I remained defiant.
"Your attitude stinks, maybe it's best to not be so rude." I snapped, knowing that Melanie would be proud of me for calling Wilson out on her bad attitude.
"Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning..." Wilson said apprehensively, clearly not appreciating me calling her out.
She leaned forward, straight in her chair, and gathered her tablet and cell-phone.
"And someone clearly pissed in your cereal for you to mope about so pissy all the time." I snapped, really losing patience with her.
"Damn Reid, go off man!" Carter laughed, clapping her hands as if to diffuse the tension. I could tell she was enjoying Wilson getting put in her place, but beneath her smile, I could see worry in her eyes, as if she wasn't sure how quickly this was going to escalate.
"I think we should go now..." Peters said nervously, stepping out in front of Wilson as she got to her feet, her lips pursed as if she was thinking of something smart to say.
"Yeah, c'mon gang let's go. We'll call as soon as we land. Keep in touch with Garcia and we'll update you as often as we can." Jackson nodded towards Aaron and I and the team dispersed.
After they'd gone, a silence encased Aaron and I. I looked over to see him glaring at me, displeased.
"What?" I smirked, kind of enjoying speaking out of turn.
He continued glaring at me a moment later before a smile cracked his expression and he shook his head in awe, leading the way out of the conference room.
The Father
"We're glad you came in actually..." I said as Derek and Penelope took to empty seats within the bullpen, staff typing away at computers and answering phones.
I had no idea what any of them were doing, or who any of them were, but I knew that at the end of the perimeter of offices surrounding the bullpen, Andersen had his own little office, and would delegate tasks every now and again to Gina and the others within the bullpen.
"Sounds ominous, Hotch, you okay?" Derek asked, looking at me from behind his designer eye-glasses.
"We both are," I nodded, glancing at Spencer. "We're just... concerned." I said eventually.
"Well I am," Spencer said. "And I don't know if it's just because I'm paranoid," He continued, Garcia and Morgan turning to watch him worriedly.
"We... Well, I need to know... Has anything unusual happened whilst we've been away?"
The pair exchanged confused expressions.
"I mean... Not necessarily anything unusual, per se... But... Have you noticed any irregular behaviour? Is anyone particularly... pissy... or... suspicious?"
The pair began chuckling and Spencer and I shared confused expressions.
"Wilson," The pair said simultaneously and chuckled again. "Wilson's a pain in my ass," Morgan admitted, rubbing at his jaw. "No one can control her quite like Melanie could..." He shook his head. "Liu isn't supportive of any disciplinaries, and because we're all still mourning, I can't do nothin' about it," He shrugged. "But she's a pissy lil' bitch."
We all laughed and I nodded my head, agreeing with his ept summary.
"Anyone other than Wilson?"
The pair thought long and hard.
"I mean, there's been the odd occasion when I've had to call Jacquie away from the offices... I've caught her trying the doors a couple times." Garcia recalled, pointing towards my office in the back corner.
"She's tried to get into my office?" I questioned, perplexed.
"I mean it's been locked this whole time," Garcia nodded. "But she's definitely tried a few times..." Her voice trailed off quietly and she quickly glanced over her shoulder.
"Who's Jacquie?" Spencer questioned, confused.
"She's one of the interns." Garcia said in a whisper, jerking her head towards one of the desks with a handful of staff sat typing.
"Interns? We have interns now?" I questioned, amazed.
"Psychology majors," Morgan nodded, rolling his eyes. "Liu wanted to trial it. Apparently, it was Melanie's idea." He shrugged and rubbed at his jaw.
Spencer and I were quiet for a few moments.
"But I mean, I've never had any other issues with Jacquie... And apart from Wilson, I can't really think of anything else strange." Garcia shrugged apologetically and Spencer and I glanced between each other.
"Really...?" He pressed. "There's been nothing else?" The pair shook their heads and a moment later, Morgan's cell rang. As if on perfect timing, Reid's cell rang too.
He had it out and answered as quick as a flash, and I could tell the name he was about to say before whoever was on the other line stopped him.
"Of course Carter, I'll talk you through it." He beckoned Garcia over towards the smart board in the corner and she began demonstrating how to use it so that Carter and the team could also access the information on the screen wherever they were.
"I gotta go attend a meeting," Morgan said, approaching me tiredly. "It's really good to see you back, man." He grinned, reaching out to shake my hand.
"It's... strange to be back." I admitted, looking around the bullpen.
"You thinking of retiring?" He questioned in surprise, pushing his hands inside his suit pockets.
"No," I admitted, shaking my head. "There are just so many changes... It makes me wonder what Rossi would think."
We were both silent for a moment or two as we thought of our eldest friend.
"Hey Hotch," Morgan interrupted the silence to peer over his shoulder at Spencer and Garcia.
"I didn't really want to say anything in front of Penelope... You know how she can be, nobody can do any harm in her eyes," We both smiled and I nodded.
"And... I don't want Reid freaking out over this, but there's something else that hasn't been sitting good with me,"
I frowned in concern and folded my arms, leaning forward as he rubbed at his jaw.
"I keep finding Dylan around," He blurted, as if he had to get it out before he changed his mind. "She's just... Everywhere, it's just not needed man. She's always here or there when you least expect her... It's making me uneasy." He laughed, but I could tell he was being serious.
"Okay... It's probably nothing," I lied. "But thank you for telling me, Derek. I appreciate that."
"No worries man, and," He glanced back over his shoulder again. "It's probably best not to mention anything to the kid," I smirked at his usual pet name. "I don't want him blaming himself again."
I sighed and nodded my head.
We all knew what Spencer could be like. He was a dog with a bone, especially when it came to blaming himself and taking unwarranted responsibility for things that were entirely out-with his control.
But then again, Melanie was the exact same.