-= Draco's POV =-
-= Two weeks before July 28th =-
A lot has happened in the past week. My mother finally divorced my father and she went her own way. She kicked him out of the Malfoy Manor. She also got a divorce for me and Astoria, I think the whole thing with my father made her realize that I'm not happy and that it couldn't go on anymore. I was married to this girl for almost two years, and I haven't been in a happy marriage.
It's selfish to say, and not fair towards Astoria, but we both agree that this has been going on for way too long. Two fucking years married, two fucking unhappy years, two fucking years without her . . .
It's been so hard. Some days I can't wake up, some days I fall apart, some days I barely get out of bed, some days I feel a hint of happiness, but she has never left my mind, she has never left my thoughts, she's the love of my life.
I think about her all the time and I've never stopped. I think about kissing her and tracing my fingers along her lips, I think about kissing her in the rain, under the stars, and cuddled up by the fire. I think about kissing her cheeks, her dimples, her nose, and her forehead. I only think about kissing her, not anyone else, only her.
I've been good these past years. I started trying to forgive myself for all the awful things I've done in the past and all the mistakes I've made. I've let go of the past, but I'll never let go of her. I've been going on with my days like I used to, I make small trips to Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, I come downstairs and have breakfast with my mother and Everly, I've picked up my life again.
I think I've been doing okay because I know that we'll end up together. I know it's selfish, but she's all I think about, and every time I hear her name, or I hear her laugh in my head, or I think about us, all I can do is smile.
I don't know how she feels of course, did she forget me? Did she move on with her life and never looked back? I wouldn't blame her if she did, but you know how in books and movies the people are always drawn back to each other, no matter what happened, they're destined to be together, that's how I feel about me and her, that's how our story has to end, we'll have a happy ending, because we're made for each other. Every flaw, every cry, every smile, every mistake . . . it's made for me and her only.
We needed this time apart. No matter how bad I've wanted to just hold her and never let her go, after the war, we were lost - I was lost - and I needed the time. Even though it was against my own will, and I never wanted to leave her in the first place, after a long time I've come to the realization that this was exactly what I needed.
I'm planning on going back to her. I will track her down and I can only hope she's still in London. I will find traces of her and traces of the life she's been living, and then, when I've built up all the courage to see her again, I will knock on her door. It's been so long since I've knocked on her door, it's been so long since I've touched her, since I've seen her.
We're all living a life that's temporary, but with her all the walls that I've spend so much time on building, they all caved in. For every time she said my name, or she took my hand, for every time her lips brushed over mine, I catch myself falling even harder. And when she looks at me with those gorgeous green eyes, I catch myself drowning in them. With every stitch, with every scar, and with every broken piece of me, I've found everything in her, and I'm crazy in love with her.
I've been planning the day that I'll come back to her. I've been planning on what to do, what to say, how to act, but once the moment is there, I'm sure I'll forget everything I've been thinking about.
I want to tell her the truth, I want to tell her how much I love her and that I can't live without her. Trust me I've tried, but I just can't. I want to know if she can forgive me, I want to know how she's been doing, I want to know if she wants me back just as much as I want her back, I want to know everything and I want to tell her everything.
We've been apart for a long time, and that time has really shown me my life, and I've started to look at it differently, I've started to look at it like it matters, because it does matter, and it hasn't mattered in a very long time.
She did this to me, she made me a better person. She made me a better son, a better man, a better student, a better human, a better everything.
She showed me out of the darkness that was my life, she showed me the light at the end of the tunnel, and she made me want to be a better person, for her.
Every sunset and sunrise we've watched, every stargazing trip we've made, every party we went to, every time we touched, every stupid joke she made, every little thing she did, it all mattered to me.
I love the way her nose scrunches when she's deep in her thoughts, I love the way she's excited when something happens in a book she's reading, I love that she loves the little things, I love how she's so concentrated when she's painting, I love how one minute she can be joking around and the other she can have a serious conversation with me, I love how open she is with me, or how closed of she can be, I love the way her eyes light up when she receives exciting information . . . I love her. I love every part of her, and I'm madly, head over heels, in love with her, and all I can do is hope that she feels the same.
-= One Week Later =-
July 23th
My mother revealed shocking information to me today. She told me that she knows where Venus is, she told me that she's secretly been keeping tabs on her, and in the first place, I got angry.
I cursed at my mother and punched the wall with my fist. When it started bleeding I went upstairs to the bathroom and punched the sink. But then I calmed myself down and realized that she hid it from me because she was trying to protect me.
I don't know in what fucked up way she thought that keeping that information from me was protecting me, but I can't get mad at her for it.
I went back downstairs when I cleaned my fist and calmed myself down, and I apologized to her.
She took it and apologized to me too.
Now, what am I going to do? All I want is to run back to her straight away, but now that the moment is actually this close, I'm overthinking everything.
What if she doesn't want to see me anymore? What if she forgot all about me? What if she moved on and will yell at me for coming back?
All my fears lay in front of me like an open book, but do my fears really outweigh her? Outweigh us?
Of course it doesn't. This is going to be one of those moments in life, where it's literally a once in a lifetime opportunity. I have to go as soon as possible, because even is she rejects me, even if I couldn't live with that pain, I have to do it, because I have to know, and if I decide to not do it - which I won't - it'll all go down the drain and nothing will matter anymore, and I will forever be in the dark.
Now how am I going to do this? Am I packing? No why would I pack? Maybe she doesn't even want to see me, and if she does, why would I pack?
It's stupid, so I'm not taking my stuff. All I'm going to do is get to her, knock on her door, and pray that she wants to see me and talk.
If I need clothes because for some reason I'm not home for the night, I'll Accio them or something.
I look at all the letters in the box on my closet, and for a moment I hesitate to take them. Should I? Should I let her read them? Or should I never tell her about their existents?
I honestly don't know, but I decide to take them and put them in my jacket. Maybe they'll come up, maybe they won't, but I'll feel better to just have the opportunity to show them to her.
-= July 28th =-
Today is the day. Yesterday I decided that I couldn't push this day any further, because what am I waiting for? Nothing besides my own courage.
I leave the Malfoy Manor really early. It's 9am and it'll be a two hour trip with the car. I'll just hitchhike a ride and I'll be with her again soon.
I say my mother goodbye and she gives me one last speech on how I should do what I want, but how I shouldn't push her if she doesn't want to see me anymore. No matter how much I hate that, I know she's right and I can't push her into anything she really doesn't want.
I indeed hitchhiked a ride, but it took a little longer than expected, and it's now 12pm when I arrive.
I make the driver stop a block away, to avoid her seeing me, and I walk the rest of the way to her. It gives me extra time to think too.
After a 10 minute walk, I'm now standing across the street in front of her apartment.
There's a bookstore below it, and other small stores next to that one. Above all those stores are apartments, and frankly it looks like a good neighborhood.
What am I going to do now? I don't have a key into the building, I don't even know if she's home or not. Am I just going to wait until she gets out of the apartment, or in it if she's gone? And what do I do when I see her? Do I just walk up to her and greet her, do I tap her shoulder, do I get her attention? What do I do? I had a pretty well thought about plan, but I never thoughts about how I'm going to approach her. I thought about my way here, I thought about what I'm going to say and do, although that's halfway down the drain already, given the fact that I don't remember what I told myself to do.
I'm clueless, for the first time in my life I'm 100% completely clueless on my next move, and all these emotions running through my body aren't helping me think straight.
I'm anxious, nervous, excited, and I even feel some happiness inside of me. All my feelings go into war together, and I don't know which side I'm on.
That's when I spot her. She's not home, she's in the bookshop beneath her apartment, and it looks like she's working. Does she have a job? I'm so happy she has a job. She's talking with a blond girl and she's hugging her. Is that- is that Granger? Hermione fucking Granger is here too? A smile grows on my face, and I'm really glad that she and Hermione stayed friends. Now that I think about it, I know nothing about her anymore. Yes I know who she is and I know her, but I don't know her current friends, I don't know what she's been up to.
Is she still friends with everyone from Hogwarts? With all the Weasley's, with Luna, Logan, and even Neville and Murphy? Knowing her she probably is, and I'm happy that she didn't lose those friends, she deserves them.
Venus and Hermione, working at the same place, it's mental but I'm sure it's a lot of fun for both of them.
I watch her the entire day. I'm not stalking her, but I'm not going to barge back into her life when she's in the middle of her shift at work.
I can't drop a bomb like that while she's at work, I have to approach her when she's alone, and where she's the only one that can judge me.
I wait the entire day for her, and I'm starting to get hungry. It's 8pm and the door opens. I quickly hide out of plain sight, and I see Hermione walk out of the store, up to Venus' apartment.
Do they live together? Do they actually? That must be so much fun, and it must be way better than living alone. Then another thought pops into my mind. Why are they leaving so late? Or at least Hermione. The shop closes at 6.30pm, or so I've been told by that random stranger I asked.
Why aren't they leaving work when it closes and let the owner lock up and come back tomorrow? Unless they're the owners. I chuckle at my own thoughts, but to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up with her own business.
After more time passes and I see her walk into the main area from the back, I gather all my courage.
It's now or never. I take a deep breath, mentally prepare myself, and I cross the street.
I push the door open and a bell chimes as I step in.
Her back is facing me, but she turns around as she says, "I'm sorry we're closed."
She meets my eyes and drops the glass of water she was holding. I don't know what to do or what to say.
I haven't seen her in two years, and I can't find the right words to say. It's like my mind went blank and I lost all the words I know. I don't know what to say, so I stay silent.
"D- Draco?" She says after some silence, and that's the only thing she can get out of her mouth.
I'd pay a million dollars to find out what she's thinking right now. "What are you-" she says again, and she finally breaks the eye contact we've been holding and she turns her gaze to the floor.
Before I can think twice I walk up to her and say, "I'll clean it." as I meet her gaze and reach for the broken glass on the floor.
She stops me and says "No don't, it's okay I'll do it."
I meet her eyes again, but she turns around and walks to the back.
Was that a good reaction? Was it bad? At least she didn't yell at me, but maybe she will do that later.
I take a moment to gather all my thoughts and I carefully think about my next move.
I don't want to be pushy, but I don't want to come over as if I don't care. We're in a tricky situation, but I'm so glad to see her again.
Her gorgeous green eyes and her wavy brown hair. Not mentioning how fucking good she looks in the outfit she's wearing.
It looks like she has her life back on track, and I couldn't be happier for her. I'm genuinely happy that she's happy, but I'm still wishing for me to become a reason for that happiness again.
She takes an awfully long time in the back, or does it only seem long, when it's really been two minutes?
Or did she escape out of the backdoor and leave me standing here? No, she wouldn't do that, if anything she'd come out here and tell me to leave if she hates me for coming back.
The problem is that I don't know anything. I don't know how she's feeling, I don't know what she's thinking, I'm completely in the dark, and I can only hope for the best outcome.
She snaps me out of my thoughts as the door opens and I watch her walk back inside.