A/N: I'm really sorry about the large break I took. I had no motivation or ideas to write. On top of that, personal issues have made my life chaotic. I'll hopefully be able to write more regularly, especially since I've had the idea for where this will go from this point for a while. Anyway here have a long chapter that I stayed up until 1:36am finishing
I couldn't sleep after he came to see me. I felt trapped again, and it was so much worse after having a taste of freedom. I felt like I was being choked, not tightly enough that it would kill me, but it was still a burden. As night passed and the sun rose, I pretended to sleep. I didn't want Toya thinking I was regretting joining him. He eventually woke up, and strode across the room to the blankets I was laying on. He kicked me on the shoulder lightly, "get up, motherfucker." I sat up. I was tired and had a huge headache.
"You don't look too good, Shoto. Something wrong?" He didn't look too concerned for an average person, but the softening in his face and voice told me the opposite. I moved some of my hair out of my face, tangling the red and white strands together. "I just haven't slept well. In case you haven't noticed, I'm on the floor sleeping on blankets that probably haven't been washed in weeks. They definitely smell like it," I lie. He frowns slightly, he's obviously not convinced. He doesn't press me further, but just says, "they don't smell."
I get up and push him playfully, "that's because you've been rotting in this shithole for so long you're desensitised to the smell." He pushes me back. We both smile, and the concern in his face dims slightly. He tells me that we're going to have to have breakfast with the rest of the League, since he can't be bothered to cook. We both go through into the bar. I sit down, as far from the rest of the members as possible. I don't want to talk out of fear of letting it slip that my father knew about our location and I would potentially end up betraying them.
They were slightly eccentric, but they were overall good people at heart. They were just misguided. I knew that they were probably influenced by Stain, but I didn't know their reasons for believing in him. If I stayed here, I'd probably find out why at some point. And I found myself wanting to. Wanting to get to know them. They went through the trouble to have a party, they couldn't be totally bad. They welcomed me, while at UA I was shunned just for getting angry. None of them could say that they'd never felt angry. They had no right to see my actions towards Iida as unreasonable. He had no idea about the hell I'd endured all my life.
I felt someone poking my face, and I frowned. It was the villain Mr. Compress. I blinked and looked at him, "what are you doing?" Twice, Toga and Spinner peered over his shoulder. Mr. Compress told me, "ah, you seemed to be in your own world. We were making sure you were okay." I nodded, smiling slightly. "Told you he wasn't dead," Toga said to Twice. He replied, "it was you who said that. I just said that we should make sure he wasn't falling asleep, and tell him that breakfast was ready." They keep politely debating who said what, so I just get up and pick up some food, along with a drink.
The food is disgusting and greasy and on a paper plate that says 'happy birthday'. It's pink and covered in sparkles. The drink I picked up is flat, warm coke in a wine glass. It's so absurd it's laughable. I go from a nice dorm room with a comfortable bed and good food to the floor of an abandoned bar eating off of a plate someone probably got out of a bin. I put the plate in a bin bag sat in the corner once I'm done, and put my glass on the bar with everyone else's.
I sit down next to Toya. "One day I'm basically living a dream, the next I'm in a shut down bar sleeping on blankets. Yet, I've been feeling general happier than I did at UA," I monologue. He nods and smiles at me, "the League may be destitute and disgusting, but at the end of the day we're all a team with a common goal. Bring society to its knees. You're gonna feel more loved here than you ever did at that shitty school. And once we take over, you'll get so much more love. You deserve it, you're a good guy." I sigh, I want to believe his words, but I know they aren't true.
I tell him so, "it won't be love. It'll be fear. People will see me and be scared to say anything but good things about me. It'll be like how we felt around dad. You can't say you weren't scared to criticise his parenting or teaching." He nods, and takes a long sip of the drink he has in his hand. Based on the smell, it's a strong alcohol. And he's had a lot. "Shoto, sometimes fear is preferable to love. You don't have to give anything back. You can be selfish, take as much as you want. You've done a lot for Endeavour. You pursued a career as a hero for him. You haven't said anything about him being an abusive piece of shit. You should get something back for that. You kept society stable by letting him stay on top. You deserve something for that," he explains. His reasoning is still flawed.
"You act as if society owes me. It doesn't, but dad does. Yes, I kept the secret to stop us from losing another strong hero. But, can someone truly owe you for something they didn't know you did? It would feel unfair to them," I counter. He puts his drink down and he becomes stern, "Shoto, you need to shut the fuck up. Talking like that will get you kicked out. Society is going to pay for shunning us and letting us suffer. End of story." He hasn't been angry with me since he first bought me here, but I can tell he's fuming.
There's no point arguing with him. He's clearly drunk, despite it being early. He could get violent. I just get up and go back to our room. I sit down on the blankets and start thinking. Is this truly a good idea? Most of the League are Stain fanatics that have been wronged to the point of breaking. They want to purge all unworthy heroes and bring down the people that made them miserable. I can see where they're coming from, but not as extreme. My father doesn't deserve to be a hero, to save people when he endangered and harmed his own flesh and blood. There are several good heroes, though. And you can't blame all of Japan for your problems. Their ideology and goals are corrupt and twisted by hatred.
I did not know if I wanted to stay. But at the same time I was not sure if I wanted to go back. Could I go back knowing I'd considered turning on everything? Could I go back knowing the true fate of my brother, knowing that I'd abandoned him in favour of a terrible man and a life with no purpose? What would I even do? I couldn't tell the police and heroes about the League's hideout, I didn't want them hurt. But I didn't know what would happen if I didn't give up any information I had regarding their information and activities. I was trapped. The only way I wouldn't hurt anyone was if I went completely off the radar, just disappeared and never came back.
I fell asleep mid-thought. I was awoken to Toya shaking me slightly. I turned to him, not quite processing everything due to drowsiness. "I shouldn't have said that shit to you, you're still thinking like a hero. I just antagonised you for a thought process you've followed for years. I'll give you time to adjust to our ideals. For now, though, don't say anything else about disagreeing with how we think. You'll believe in us soon enough, I promise. It'll get better," Toya told me. He was quiet and gentle. He leaned down to me and put an arm around me, "get some sleep, Shoto. I can tell something's bothering you. Tell me whenever you're ready." I nodded, only half listening to his words. I let myself be consumed by sleep again, it was easier than anything else right now.
Toya's POV
After he went back to sleep, I stayed up. As creepy as it was, I wanted to keep an eye on him. He was worrying me. I felt like I'd pushed everything onto him too fast. I thought I should just give him everything quickly, like ripping off a plaster. It must have been too taxing for him. I'm forcing him to change everything he is to stay with me. It's not good for him. I have no way to ease his pain. I can't send him back, he'll be questioned and it'll stress him out further. I don't want Endeavour to corner him and force him into telling him everything. I just did not want Endeavour near him at all. No one is safe with him, simple as that.
Endeavour needs to be bought to his knees. Forced to confess to his sins and take on the consequences for all he did to Shoto. To mum. To Fuyumi. To Natsuo. To me. He needs to feel every ounce of pain he forced onto us throughout the years. He needs to feel the fear of someone you care about being under threat. He needs to feel the betrayal Shoto would have felt when mum poured the tea over his face. He needs to feel the burning I've been subjected to all these years. He needs to feel something, some kind of pain to balance the scales.
Fear... Betrayal... Burning...
A plan started to form. It would convince Shoto to see Endeavour as I do. It would convince the world that Endeavour was unfit to be a hero. It would show him what he made others feel after all of these years. I could use the make up and hair dye I had for Shoto. I could also use the connection he likely has to Fuyumi and Natsuo. And our mum. Shigaraki would even likely agree with the plan as long as I worded my ideas correctly. There were ways it could go wrong, but I was willing to take the risks to bring Endeavour down.
All I had to do was convince Shoto. Convince him to help me, and we would get our revenge. We would get what we truly wanted.