Murmurs. Beep. The first thing my consciousness registers is the murmurs around. Darkness. My eyes feel heavy, as though my lids were glued together. No matter how hard I try, they remain shut. When I did manage to slowly open my lids, I winced from the blinding lights. The place is blurry, till my vision starts adjusting.
Two pairs of eyes are staring down at me, one of which is familiar.
"She's up!" His eyes glow as he takes my name, "Mae, feeling better?"
Why does my head hurt so much? I try to lift my hands to touch my forehead, but to a failed attempt, I can hardly move. Why the hell is he here?
"What time is it?" I shift my eyes from Aiden, my ex boyfriend, to the white ceiling of the room and close my eyes.
"It's seven in the morning. You should have this your head must hurt," handing a strip of medicine to Aiden, she replies. In front of him stands this long haired slim girl with a gentle voice. Reaching for the bottle of water kept beside my bed, he takes the pills from her then hands it to me.
There is this awkwardness and tension around the room that I cannot pinpoint. It's not normal for him to be here with this girl I have no idea of. "What brings you here? Why is my head paining?"
Aiden lets out a slow controlled breath and runs his fingers through his hair; something he only does when he is stressed. He paces back and forth, arms crossed and shoulders hunched forward. There is a tenseness to my muscles that makes me more like a mannequin on this soft mattress than a woman of flesh and bone.
"Mae, do you not remember what happened?"
I nod my head no. I stare into those bright blue eyes filled with fright, as my heart drops. His tshirt is half soaked in sweat. Holding my hand tighter, he scoots closer to me.
"Mae, were you in a fight with your roommate.. last night?"
I search my brain for any recollection of events that occurred last night. It is a little foggy in my head and my thoughts are a jumbled mess, but even so, I am quite aware I was not in a fight with anyone last night. Talkless my roommate Grace, whom I've known for a little over a year now. Besides we never had an argument.
The door to my room slams open and Grace's boyfriend Alex enters. Alex looks at me with eyes burning with anger and something else.. fear maybe? His pale blue shirt is covered in dried blood while his hair is a greasy mess.
At this point, I'm beyond certain something has happened, for there is no plausible explanation as to why Alex will come in uninvited with nerves made for a serial killer. What is going on?
"What you did is wrong! I won't let you stay here!" Alex tries to grab me but Aiden shoves him off. Neither of them are speaking to each other. If looks could kill, Alex would have been seventy feet beneath the ground by now. It was as if the alpha high above the chain was staring right down at his prey, disgusted. Alex stomps off to the living room.
"Will you please tell me what's going on? You, this girl, Alex.. I'm so confused!" By then my words were a jumbled mess. It is a real struggle trying to speak..
Aiden motions the girl standing behind him, who I've learnt is his 'new girlfriend' to go after Alex. Not moving an inch, she says something in Spanish while she folds her hands. She has a calm demeanor around her and a gentle voice with a tinge of roughness. Aiden stands up to her to hold her hands and mumble something into her ear. In no time, I know the reason behind her reluctance. She's hesitant to leave us alone in the room.
When she closes the door behind her, Aiden slowly walks towards me.
"Say something, will you?"
I have this feeling as if he's scared of saying something wrong. He is constantly avoiding my eyes.
"Mae..I got a call from Alex asking me to come by," His voice cracks when he speaks. Aiden still doesn't dare to look me in the eye. He's drawing circles on the bed-sheet, flipping the silver ring on his thumb. My stomach is in knots as I wait for him to continue.
"He said it was an emergency."
Blowing a gush of air out of his mouth, finally he looks at me.
"Aiden, did I do something bad? Why do you look so scared?"
He doesn't speak for the next few seconds, instead stares at me. I feel like my insides are going to explode.
"I found you both senseless. Your head," gently he touches the band-aid covering the cut on my forehead, "It was bleeding a little. B-but Grace was worse. One of her nerves was cut; had several injuries all over her body. She was bleeding a lot, Mae."
"What happened next?" This time, I do not allow him to go quiet. He takes my hand in his.
"I don't know what happened. I wasn't there, okay?" I watch him struggle to hold back his tears while his heart starts to race. He makes my heart beat even faster.
"Alex says you two had a fight. A physical fight."
"This is crazy-"
Without letting me finish, he stands up and starts pacing impatiently. He gives his shoulders a wiggle and lolls his head in a circle.
"Alex says you tried killing her. He complained a file against you."
"You're joking. Where is she? I'll go meet her," I try to get up from the bed but he grabs my hand.
"She's in the hospital, Mae. I'm serious."
"ME? Grace is my friend!"
My eyes fill with water and the hairs on the nape of my neck bristles. Slow and deliberate, the door handle turns and enters a lady officer. She's going to arrest me, I think to myself. I look at Aiden longingly.
"I'm innocent! Aiden, say something please!" I breathe in and out but air wouldn't enter my lungs. Starved for air, my heart races at tremendous speeds, and my lungs shallowly rise and fall in time.
"Ms. Mae don't panic. It's alright, I am here to have a talk with him" The officer smiles at me, then gestures Aiden to follow her.
I feel the tear running down my cheek, I am a complete mess. My body is slowly going into a panic mode. I'm at a loss of words. After a few minutes he returns.
I look at him, who is as scared as I am. Still, he manages to fake a smile.
"Believe me, I'm innocent," is all I can say to him.
"I know you are. I'm here, okay? There's nothing to be afraid of." Aiden looks at me contemplating something, and then, he does the least expected thing of all. He hugs me. A gentle, yet tight hug.
"It'll be a small inquiry and nothing else." He whispers into my ears still holding me.
*
I take a cold shower letting my muscles relax. I close my eyes allowing the water to drain away all the dread stored in me since the morning.
Licking my ear, he bites on it whispering, 'I always wanted to have this moment with you. This soft hand of yours..'
He holds my hand behind me. No matter how hard I try, I can't move an inch. He puts his penis between my hands behind my back and commands me to stroke it.
I force my eyes open. Did I watch porn last night? What the hell am I even thinking of. Quickly I finish showering and get dressed. On the way to the police station, Aiden tries to boost some confidence in me.
My nerves were all over during the interview. I can feel the temperature in my body rising and the sweat beads on my forehead. Occasionally, my hands will rub my thighs and I will let out a deep sigh.
What is your name?
Mae.. Mae Mitchell.
How do you know Ms. Grace Hart?
We met at college about a year ago. Soon we became close friends and decided to move in together.
Did you two have any recent arguments?
What?! NO. No, we didn't. I told you we were best friends.
What happened last night?
I'm sorry, I don't remember anything about last night.
What were you doing before you fainted?
I believe I was in my room. I'm not sure what I was doing.
We found you senseless. Head bleeding. What do you have to say about that?
I don't remember how or why I fainted. I woke up this morning with an injury and a headache.
There was a scissor found at the crime spot which had your fingerprints and Grace's blood on it. Dare to explain?
A scissor? I have no idea about it.
Do you have anything to say about the marks on your wrists and around your neck?
As I've told you earlier, I DO NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING! Give me a break.
Was there someone else in the room, or was it just the two of you?
I don't know! Really, I do not remember much of yesterday.
Okay Ms. Mae, for now since you're a mere suspect, we'll let you go home. Do check in with a doctor and keep in touch with us. Remember, let us know anything and everything you recall.
The drive back to the hospital was pretty quiet. Neither I nor Aiden talk and the whole car was filled with an unquenched tension. My stomach keeps growling, not out of hunger but fear and frustration. I am doomed.
By the end of the night, I knew I was suffering from a concussion and that the terrible headache might have been from a blow to my head, as the doctor explained. The doctor was confident that my memory will be crystal clear in the next few days.
As I lay on my bed, bereft of sleep, I wished on all my lucky stars that I remember the shit that happened and hope as hell I am not guilty. I wouldn't be, can I?