Bradley
I woke up to a banging on my door.
I groaned rolling over on my side, grabbing my phone to check the time.
11:21 am.
Damn. I slept for over twelve hours and I'm still exhausted. I absolutely hate when I sleep for a long time. I get way more tired compared to when I sleep for a solid four hours.
I pull the comforter off of me and slide myself out of bed, stretching in the way to the locked door.
I unlocked it, and saw the door abusing culprit. Kale.
"Brad. Hey." He smiles.
I narrow my eyes. "Hey? Really? What do you want?" I put a hand over my mouth as I yawn.
"Are you hungry? Let's go eat." He says.
"You woke me up for that?" I ask him, with a straight face.
He starts to shift uncomfortably, "Yeah, uh, I wanted to talk."
On the outside, I kept a straight face, and nodded. But, internally I was freaking out. What if he asked for advice? I'm terrible at advice. Or if he cries? I'm bad with that too. I push all the thoughts to the back of my head before my nervousness shows on my face.
"Yes!" I exclaim loudly, and internally smack myself on the back of my head, while he looks at me confused. I shut the door in his face.
I sigh loudly, then turn around heading straight for my closet.
My eyes immediately landed on a cute oversized red flannel, and I decided that I would come up with an outfit around that. I took the flannel and threw it on my bed. I walked over to my dresser to get a black cropped tank and folded that over my arm.
The next thing I grabbed were gray sweat pants, of course. I'd like to be comfortable in case this conversation was anything but that. Then, I grabbed some black air-forces.
After I put everything on, I looked down at myself with uncertainty. This is new. I've never dressed like this before. I started to feel insecure and was about to walk back into my closet when Kale bursts in my room.
I immediately covered my body, which was fully clothed, by the way.
"What are you doing?!" I yelled at him.
"What the fuck are you doing? You're dressed." He smirked, obviously amused. I drop my hands and stand up straighter. "Anyways, are you ready?"
"No, I'm about to change." I tell him, turning away. Then he grabbed my arm.
"Nope. You look great. I'm hungry. Come on." He dragged me out of my room. I was barely able to grab my phone, before he pushed me out and shut the door.
"You're annoying."
He just shrugged.
~~~~~~~~~~
We went to eat at some kind of burger place. It was a little dirty and I'm sure that this place would never pass an inspection, but I've learned to never judge a book by its cover. Unless the cover has fried off blonde hair and fake boobs, then you burn the book.
Also, Kale doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would like a place like this, considering his family is very wealthy, so I assumed it was very good.
It was also about thirty minutes out of town.
"What do you want, Brad?" Kale asked me as we walked up to the counter.
I look at the menu for a minute and shrug. "Surprise me. Just make sure there's bacon." I point at him. "I'll go get us a booth."
When he nods, I walk away to look for a booth for the two of us, then I pause and turn around.
"Kale -" I start.
"No, I'm paying." He cuts me off.
I sigh, but a smile takes over my face and I turn right back around, setting my eyes on a booth in the farthest corner.
It took a couple minutes before he came back to the table, drinks in hand.
"Sweet tea, for the lady." He hands me mine.
I laughed. "Thank you, kind sir." I responded as he sat down.
We sat in silence for a couple minutes after that, but he was staring at me.
"Bra -" He got cut off.
"Hello! Here's your food." The waitress says, setting the plates in front of us. They were the cute little plates that were like fry baskets.
"Thank you." I smile at her, then she walks away. I turn back to Kale. "What were you saying?"
He clears his throat. "I just wanted to thank you." He says softly. "For the other night."
I sit up in my seat. "Yeah, of course." It got silent after that. "We should talk about it." I tell him, though I was a little apprehensive, because I was skeptical of how he'd react.
He paused.
"I don't know, Bradley. . ."
I shake my head quickly. "You don't have to Kale, I just . . .I wanted you to know that you can talk to me about it. Whenever you're ready." I reassure him, placing a hand on his hand, to which he pulled away.
That shot a pain through my heart. Not because I felt rejected, but because I now realized how deeply this had affected him.
I pull my hand back, grabbing a fry off his plate in the process to try to lighten the mood. His jaw dropped.
"What?" I say. "I just need to make sure it's safe for you to eat." And I throw it in my mouth.
He reached across the table and took me of mine quickly, throwing it in the air and catching it in his mouth. I didn't fight him on it, because it made me happy to see him with a smile on his face, even if for now, it was only temporary.
~~~~~~~~~~
We finally left the diner, after spending hours there. We ate, laughed, talked, and overall just had a great time. We were almost to the car when his phone started to ring, but he didn't look at it until we got back into the vehicle.
He was frozen. The blood was completely gone from his face, making him pale. I didn't know what had happened for him to suddenly become this way until I looked down at his phone.
Missed call from Brittany.
Anger rose in my chest. The same anger I felt two nights ago. The same anger that scared me, because it reminded me of my father.
I couldn't help myself when I reached into his hand and took his phone. I couldn't stop myself from finding her contact and blocking her. I couldn't. And I don't regret it.
The audacity that she had called him after what she did to him astounded me. It disgusted me.
I placed his phone into the cup holder and made eye contact with him.
I spoke softly. "Kale?"
I watched as tears started filling his eyes, the facade that he had crumbing, one tear at a time. I was scared. I didn't want to touch him and make him uncomfortable, but I wanted to hug him so bad.
My heart broke, as did his voice, "Why?"
I shake my head, fighting an international battle in my mind.
"Can I hold you?" I ask him.
He waits a few seconds, then he nods. I let out a large breath and throw my arms around him in record speed, squeezing him tightly. He wasn't sobbing like he did those two nights ago, but I could feel his tears on my neck as I held him close.
I could only imagine that he felt numb.
We stayed like that for about an hour before he decided that he wanted to go home. I offered to drive, but he assured me that he was perfectly capable. The entire drive home was silent. It was silent as we walked into the house, even as we walked to our rooms.
Though, he stopped me before I reached mine. "Can you stay with me, Brad?"
I answered with a nod, following him into his room. I watched as he sat on his bed and I grabbed a chair that was in the corner of his room, one that I placed here weeks ago, and sat on it.
He leaned against the headboard, and I just observed him.
"I don't want to talk about it. But, I know that I should." He admits.
I smile. "That's a good start. You don't have to talk about it right now. But, don't hold it in. And you don't even have to talk to me about it. You can talk to one of the guys." I mention.
He immediately shakes his head. "No. I can't tell the guys."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I said the first thing that came to mind. "I think you and Damon should talk, in all honesty. I think you could be beneficial to each other right now." I didn't know if that was the right thing to say. I didn't want him to seem like his situation was minuscule, but I genuinely felt that Damon and Kale could help one another better than I could help either of them. They were best friends long before I came along anyways.
And Kale was afraid. Of me? Not particularly, but because I am a girl. I would feel the same if I were him.
Cautious.
Nervous.
Afraid.
It never crossed my mind once that he would be, until I tried to hold his hand at the diner.
Kale didn't like the idea of talking to any of the guys about what happened. I could see the frustration on his face.
"I don't want to talk to them about it, Bradley. I don't really want to talk about it at all actually. You keep bringing it up." His voice gets louder as he stands up, pacing around his room. "Stop bringing it up! It didn't happen to you! You don't get it, so stop trying to!" He finishes by slamming a fist on his dresser, causing me to jump.
I suddenly get flashbacks, of my father doing the same thing, right before the same fist would soon be the cause of a black eye.
I stand up quickly, almost making the chair fall from behind me. I feel my heart racing and my breath quickens. I face him completely.
I couldn't comprehend what I was feeling. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but there was still that sliver of doubt. And there was always the feeling of dread that if he wanted to, he was completely capable. And I hated it, I hated that I felt this way. I didn't want to. I didn't want to be this way, but my father ruined my life.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by another bang. I watched as he kicked the leg of his dresser, and got another flashback. It was like a montage of every time I was kicked in the ribs. I grabbed my stomach, I could almost feel the pain all over again.
My breathing got heavier as I started to feel myself panic, my eyes were tearing up and my vision was blurry. I paused, waiting until he was turned around so I could leave.
Right when his back was to me, I made a bee line to his door, opening it quickly and running into my room. I locked it behind me and back into the farthest corner from my bed. Seconds later I heard pounding on my door.
My mind couldn't handle it. I didn't know what was true or what was a distant memory. It all was scrambled together. I quickly ran into my closet, into the darkest corner in there. And I cried. I let it out. I bawled. I don't know how long it was, all I knew was that I was exhausted and then I was soon asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up to being shaken awake. I immediately flinched back.
"Hey, hey. It's okay. It's me." The familiar voice of my best friend rings in my ears. Jess was here. I pulled her into a tight hug and relaxed when she returned it. "How are you? Are you okay?"
I nod my head, though it was more of a stiff head movement due to my head between her shoulder and neck.
I pull out of the hug, and Jess stands up, grabbing my hands pulling me up. She pulls me to my bathroom and runs water over her hands and then rubbing them on my cheeks, I'm assuming to get rid of the tear stains.
I smile at her. "Thanks, Jess."
"That's what I'm here for." She smiled, then it turned sad. "Kale called Luke and told him what happened, so Luke relayed the message to me and I came as quick as I could."
I nod, turning to look towards my door.
"I want to see him." I told her.
"Are you sure?" She was hesitant.
"Yes. I don't think he'd hurt me and I know he didn't mean to scare me. It was like a trigger." I told her, honestly.
She nods. "Alright, but the first thing he better do is apologize. Took everything in me to not fuck him up." She scowled. That made me laugh.
I headed towards my door, opening it and waited for Jess. As we started to walk down the hallway I asked her, "How did you open my door? I locked it."
She just smirked, stepping down on the first step. "I have a shit ton of hidden talents." I burst into laughter, shaking my head.
"Of course you do."
"Oh, and also all the guys are here too." She leaned closer to whisper right before we were about to get off of the stairs. "Damon isn't too fond of Kale right now. Actually, none of them are." She admits.
I sigh, suddenly feeling guilty. The last thing he needs right now is everyone upset with him.
I stop Jess right before we get to the bottom. "Don't be mad at him, Jess." She scowled. "Seriously. He's going through some stuff and I stepped too far and provoked him."
She let out a long and annoyed sigh. "I'll be civil."
I smiled. "That's all I ask." Then, we walk into the living room where all the guys were.
The first to speak was Justin. "You're good, right?"
I smile, "Yeah, I'm good."
I felt the tension leave the room immediately as they all sighed in relief simultaneously.
"I think we should have a movie night." Damon suggests. I nod and watch as everyone else does as well. "Great, awesome. Luke order the pizza." He says, walking towards the living room.
We all make eye contact with each other and then follow him, while Lucas pulled out his phone to order pizza.
We were in the middle of the movie and a finished pizza when I got a call from my brother.
I stood up and walked to the kitchen to answer it. "Hello?"
"Hey B, whatcha doing?" He says, all chirpy, causing me to smile.
"Watching a movie with everyone. Where are you? I haven't seen you around here in a while." I ask him, sitting on the kitchen stool.
"Came back home for a little bit." He replies nonchalantly.
"Brady. . .do you - I don't think that's a good idea." I tell him honestly.
"I'm not selling drugs anymore, B. I want better for myself." He says.
"And going home is better? Hanging out with the same people?" I get defensive.
"I had some unfinished business. I need to get it done." My jaw dropped open.
"What does that even mean?"
"It means that I need to do this and I will be back there in no time. I promise you. I will tell you everything when I get back." I heard another voice, though I couldn't make it out. "I have to go, B. I'll talk to you later, okay? I love you."
I sighed, worried for him. "Okay, bye. I love you too, Brady. Stay safe."
The last thing he said was, "Always." Before he ended the call.
I took a deep breath before I joined the group in the living room again.
At this point I wasn't watching the movie anymore. My mind seemed to be on overdrive.
There was a lot of stuff going on. There was Kale's entire situation, and I felt that I should help him through it. There was my brother now. I'm worried for him, because he knows better. And I wouldn't want him to go down that path again. There was Damon. Who really needed a friend right now. Then, there was me. I've kind of pushed away the past while I've been here, rather than trying to overcome it. And I didn't notice that, until earlier today. That knocked me back into reality.
I was stressed. There was so much that I needed to do, but I had no idea how to do any of them. I knew that I should probably take a step back, but I couldn't help myself.
Damon snapped me out of my thoughts when he claimed that we should play a game.
"What game?" Lucas asked him.
"I don't know. Spin the Bottle, Truth or Dare, Never Have I Ever?" He named a few.
I didn't think Spin the Bottle would be an ideal game to play right now. Lucas and Jess are pretty much dating. Damon had a secret crush on Collin. Kale wouldn't be very comfortable and he also gets jealous when I breath towards another guy. And Justin? Well, he would've loved this game.
"Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever." I say.
"I vote Never Have I Ever." Jess replies. I nod with her, as does everyone else, besides Justin who pouts most likely due to him wanting to kiss people.
"Okay. Five fingers up, everyone. I'll go first." He clears his throat. "Never have I ever. . ." He took a long pause. "Never mind. I don't have one."
Lucas spoke. "Never have I ever had a threesome."
That's definitely a way to start. Damn.
Justin and Damon put a finger down.
I honestly wasn't surprised and neither was anyone else. Next was Damon.
"Never have I ever went skinny dipping."
I watched as Jess put a finger down, then she looks around. "Really? You guys are lame." She scoffs.
"Never have I ever kissed a dude. Or like a girl for the girls. The opposite gender." He says. I cast a quick glance towards Damon, and saw the slight panic on his face.
I watched as Jess dropped a finger, as did Justin, and Kale. Then, Damon finally did as well.
I sighed in relief for him, then spoke up. "We will just not talk about this one." I try to steer attention away from the fingers that dropped, so no one would be questioned. But, all I did was draw attention to my hand, which still held up five fingers.
"You haven't done any of these?" Jess asked in shock. I shake my head, and before I could speak, her lips were on mine in a quick kiss. She pulled away before I could react. My mouth dropped open. "Now you can put a finger down."
I stared at her for a moment before dropping dropping my thumb.
"Never have I ever had sex." I said proudly, knowing that everyone's finger would drop.
"Wow, Bradley. Low blow." Lucas say lowly.
I laughed and shrugged.
Damon stood up. "We should play a different game."
Everyone started groaning. "Dude, we didn't even finish this game."
"Yeah, well Bradley would've ended up winning either way." He said and everyone nodded in agreement. "Let's play truth or drink."
That statement alone got everyone excited. "What are we going to drink? I refuse to drink alcohol right now after that party." Jess said leaning back on her palms.
"We can use hot sauce." Kale spoke up, looking around at everyone who all grimaced, but nodded regardless. That'll definitely get people to be honest.
"Ha! Now, I can actually go first this time." Damon grins, sitting back down. He looks through the group deciding who he wanted to question, before his eyes landed on Jess.
"So, Jessica. In all honesty, how many people in the room would you be willing to kiss?"
And without hesitation she looks him in the eye and answers. "Two."
It was obvious who she was talking about. Lucas and I, but the fact that she didn't have to think about it amazed me.
Next, was Jess' turn. She chose Justin. "What's the shortest amount of time that you knew someone before hooking up with them?"
Oof.
I watched as he looked up squinting his eyes as if to think. "I'll take the hot sauce."
The look on my face made him burst into laughter. "We aren't all saints, Bradley." Then, he threw back the shot of hot sauce, and squinted his face and shook his head.
After a few seconds he got himself together and looked at me.
"Bradley," He paused for dramatic effect. "What's the farthest you and Kale have gone?" My eyes widened, I'm sure the size of saucers.
"Huh?" Was all I could say.
He repeated himself but slowly this time like I was some toddler.
I was embarrassed by the question. Not that I thought they'd judge me, but simply the fact that I felt exposed.
I made eye contact with Kale, wondering if he was okay with me telling them. He shrugged.
I opened my mouth to answer truthfully, but I couldn't say it. Like, the embarrassment was so real.
I get my face get hot.
"I'm going to say it." I tell them. "I just can't." I admit.
Justin bursts into laughter. "Come on, just say it."
"I can't."
"Then, take the shot." He taunts.
I clear my throat, looking into his eyes as I finally admitted, with a straight face. "He fingered me."
I watched as everyone looked dumbfounded, even Kale. I don't think they actually believed I'd say so.
Jess slapped my leg playfully. "Bitch, you never told me that."
I felt the confidence I had before dissolve. "It's embarrassing." That caused everyone to laugh. I internally thought of a question I wanted to ask, so I could change the subject. "Lucas," I say, making their attention fall on me. "What's the weirdest thing that's ever turned you on?"
He immediately took a shot of the hot sauce.
"Hey!" Jess exclaimed. "I wanted to know that one." He just grinned at her and shrugged.
"Sorry, babe." And kissed her cheek. The cutest thing ever. His eye immediately met Kales'. "Who kissed who first?" He nodded his head towards me and back to Kale.
"Bradley kissed me." He admits. I smile smugly. I sure did.
Then, Kale turned towards Damon. "What were you talking to Bradley about the other day?"
My eyes widened as everyone looked back and forth between Damon and I.
I tried my best to keep a poker face, my gaze only on Damon.
I didn't know what he was going to do. I knew he was conflicted about telling everyone. It was one of the things he was most afraid of about it. He has the chance now, but I'm not sure if he will take it.
Damon looks at me with frightened eyes. I mentally was telling him that he should do whatever he feels was right, and I hope my eyes were portraying the message.
It took him a moment, but he eventually grabbed his shot and took a swig, sticking his tongue out immediately, panting like a dog.
"Shit, that was hot. Nice try though, Kale."
Kale just sighed loudly.
And that's how the rest of the night went. Questions were thrown back and forth, hot sauce shots being taken left and right. Until we all got tired. The guys slept on the couch and Jess had already headed to my bed.
Kale and I walked up the stairs, I was a little behind him. I watched as he paused at his door and called my name before I got to mine.
"Yes?"
"I wanted to apologize for what I did earlier. I would've apologized way earlier, but I knew you wouldn't want it brought up again around everyone. I was just so angry. I'm so sorry, Bradley."
"It's okay." I spoke softly. And before I could say more he pulled me into a hug. I whispered the question that I've been wondering about. "Are we good for each other, Kale? Should we keep doing this?"
He released me and took a step back. "What do you mean?"
I cross my arms over my chest, "We are both pretty messed up. We each have our own demons we are trying to fight." I admit. "Yeah, they are different battles, but I think we have to fight them alone."
He placed a hand on my chin, and forced my eyes to look into his.
"We can help each other, Brad." He spoke.
"That's the thing, Kale. We have to be honest with each other to do that. And right now, we aren't even honest with ourselves."
He shakes his head. "You're helping me. You are. I know you don't see it. And earlier I know I wasn't helping, but I planned to never think about it again when I woke up the next day, but you made me. You got me to think. I don't want this to define me." Tears were in his eyes.
"I'm so confused." I tell him. "I want this to work. So bad. But I don't want either of us to lose ourselves while fighting for the other."
"Then, we will both make sure that we put ourselves first. We have to keep each other strong."
And I agreed. I'm better with him and I hoped he felt the same.
He puts both of his hands on the side of my face, pulling me into him, as he kisses my forehead, then he paused, I watched as he hesitated, but then he brought his lips to mine in a quick kiss.
I smiled softly. "Don't you think you should ask me out on a date first?"
He grinned. "I'll do you one better. Be my girlfriend. Let's get through this together."
And of course, I said yes.