"If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ― Virginia Woolf
The Protector
I turned to Melanie with wide eyes, my heart thudding painfully in my chest.
London had been bombed... They were seeking revenge on Melanie escaping to safety...
"So... I guess there's a few things we have to catch you up on..." I said nervously, licking my lips as I reached for her hands, glancing around at everybody in the room.
"I know you had a funeral for me, that's okay." She said with a nervous laugh and I shook my head.
"No," I turned to look at the others as Beth sat down beside Aaron nervously, Jack lowering himself onto the arm of the sofa beside Mel. "You've told us about what happened for you when the explosion went off," I recalled. "But we haven't told you about what happened for us..."
The Fighter
My heart sank, of course there were things I had to be updated on. I'd been selfish to think that all that mattered was how my time was spent away from them.
I could only imagine the heartache and trauma they'd all been through.
"The explosion..." Spencer said, squeezing my hands and avoiding my eyes. "How much do you remember before it?"
"Everything," I laughed without humour. "I remember everything about that day." I admitted and Spencer nodded.
"The blast... It... It completely destroyed the unit." He explained.
"I knew it was powerful," I recalled, looking at my family. "I guess I've never really wanted to think about how powerful it really was... But... You guys were okay, right? You... You came to me in the hallway."
I looked at my dad and Spencer, my eyes wide and a lump beginning to form in my throat as I recalled that only Derek, Emily, my dad and Spencer had come out into the hallway after me.
"We did..." My dad nodded. "We were both fine, superficial cuts and bruises." He smiled and I turned to Spencer.
"But...?" I prodded.
Spencer glanced to my dad and then back to my eyes, blinking rapidly and licking his lips.
"JJ and Dave didn't make it."
There was a long silence as I stared into Spencer's eyes, unblinking in disbelief.
I looked from Spencer to my dad, who was smiling sadly at me, to Beth beside him who had her mouth covered as she silently cried, and to Jack who was still sat on the arm of the sofa next to me.
He gave me a small smile and reached out to squeeze my shoulder.
"What do you mean they didn't make it?" I whispered as I turned back to Spencer.
"They were sat too close to Stewart..." Spencer whispered and his voice broke. "They got trapped underneath debris," I whimpered and covered my mouth, squeezing my eyes closed.
"We had a joint military funeral for them," Spencer continued in a quiet voice. "And Will moved the boys back to the South to be with his family."
I whimpered again and dipped my head, my tears dropping onto our intertwined hands.
There was a long silence as I came to terms with the fact that I'd never see one of my best friends ever again, that my dad's best friend was gone forever and I'd never be able to hear his sarcastic wisdom ever again.
"Dave..." I cried. "He should've retired." Spencer pulled me into his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, squeezing me tightly as my family allowed me to process this information.
"What..." I sniffled. "What else?" I pulled back to wipe at my tears and look at them pressingly.
"There must be more," I sniffed as they looked at me blankly. "The explosion, Stewart, I know there's no way she survived that. Dave and JJ... they're... gone," My voice broke and I cleared my throat. "As far as everyone was aware, I died too. What happened?"
They all shared an apprehensive look.
"Director Liu launched an investigation," Jack said when nobody else would answer. "But it was inconclusive. They demolished the old unit and they're still doing renovations."
"Jack," Our dad hissed. "All in good time." He added with a sigh.
"No, I want to know," I said desperately, turning my back on Spencer to face Jack properly. "I want to know what's on the table, what's facing me when we go back," I said reassuringly. "But I want to know what I've missed. Whip it off like a band-aid," I nodded. "Tell me." I pressed, looking at Jack and nodding.
"The investigation was inconclusive," He shrugged. "They didn't find anything, not that they took very long to look." He added and I frowned.
"How long did they take?" I asked and he looked at Spencer and my dad for clarification.
"They allowed us back in after ten days and closed the investigation after eight weeks." Spencer said in a small voice.
"They took two months to investigate our deaths?" I scoffed. "Two months to investigate an explosive they hired into their academy?" I shook my head. "At least I know who's first on my list." I muttered under my breath and turned to Jack with a cocked eyebrow.
"They moved terrorism to an external annexe," He recalled. "And the BAU has moved permanently to the twelfth floor in replace of terrorism. Your old team have replaced you guys, and Derek's acting Unit Chief. We've been trying to encourage dad to go for it, but, he wasn't having any of it."
"Of course he wasn't," I scoffed, turning to our dad with a smile.
"A desk job?" I joked. "That just isn't Aaron Hotchner at all,"
We all chuckled and I sighed, rubbing at my forehead.
"Okay, so, my old team being back isn't entirely a bad thing... Any other changes?" My dad and Spencer shared a look and I frowned in confusion.
Everyone looked at each other apprehensively and Spencer subconsciously pulled at his sweater sleeves, chewing on his lip and avoiding my eyes.
"What's happened?" I pressed.
"The London bombings..." Jack mumbled and everyone turned to him with wide eyes. "They're potentially not the first bomb of retaliation."
"Jack!" My dad and Spencer hissed and I threw up a hand.
"I'm not sure what part of I want to know everything, you guys aren't understanding," I said, looking at them sternly. "This is why I entrusted Jack with the code," I said coldly. "Because I knew he was the only one who would do as I ask no matter what."
My dad and Spencer looked at me guiltily and a thick silence fell amongst us all.
"They're only reluctant because they adore you, sweetheart..." Beth said gently and I turned to see her pressing a tissue underneath her eyes.
I sighed and allowed my body to relax, realising I'd been quick to jump on the defensive.
"I know," I sighed again, shaking my head and rubbing my forehead. "I know, I'm sorry," I said. "I just... I want to know everything I've missed... I... I hate knowing that you had to suffer so much without me there to help."
They all shared incredulous expressions.
"Mel, you were being beaten and tortured and slowly killed!" Spencer hissed. "You think you haven't suffered enough?!" He exclaimed rhetorically and I nodded my head, chewing on my lip.
"Jack's right..." My dad said after a while. "If my timeline adds up," He mused. "Just after Caitlyn helped you escape, your house was bombed." My mouth fell open and I stared at my dad incredulously.
"You... you weren't hurt or... what... Tilly!"
Spencer's hands fussed over me as I began to panic.
"We're fine, we're all okay. Tilly was at school," Spencer reassured me. "Jack and I had gone to the house... I was..." He looked guiltily over at Jack.
"I'd been going through your things, trying to get to the bottom of what it was you'd been working on before the explosion... I'd taken your computers to Penelope and we were heading over to the house for one final sweep, but Jack... He'd received a message instructing him to divert our routine, and when we arrived at the house, a bomb went off."
"A message?" I blurted in confusion, turning to Jack. "You received a message? It... it wasn't from me."
"It was from Emily." Jack explained, and my head grew even foggier than previously.
"Emily is operating undercover for the CIA," Spencer said quietly and everybody turned to stare at him in surprise. "We've been meeting at your graveside," He whispered, looking up at me nervously.
"She's managed to infiltrate a branch of the NYTC, and heard of a betrayal which sparked some anger. She's low-level and didn't catch more, but she knew that if retaliation was a possibility, then we had to divert from our routine, even just to be on the safe side."
"Spencer..." I groaned. "The first thing terrorists look for is routine, you know this."
"I know, I know but... That's the only thing that was pulling me through." He whispered in a quiet voice and I looked at him questioningly, at the guilty expression he had as he stared at our hands laced together.
"So Emily is working for the CIA?" Beth interjected desperately. "Can we talk about that for a moment?"
"It's nothing she hasn't done before..." My dad said slowly.
"Interpol," I blurted. "She's worked for Interpol before... But the CIA... That's..." I heaved a deep sigh and tilted my head back slightly. "That's more my territory."
The Protector
We turned to Mel with shocked expressions.
"What do you mean your territory?" I echoed and she licked her lips.
"You're right," She nodded, turning to look at me with guilty, glassy eyes. "I was working on something before the explosion. Something that was completely classified, and was supposed to die alongside me," She smirked without humour.
"I guess it did die with me because there's no way I can keep it now."
"Keep what?" Aaron pressed.
She looked skyward and heaved a deep breath, clearly preparing to divulge something important.
"About three years ago now, I was approached by a small branch of the CIA. They were launching investigations into all law enforcement agencies operating in America to detect conspiracies in association with Fred Knavs."
There was a long pause as we all processed this.
"You were hired by the CIA to investigate the FBI?" Beth said in shock.
"I was..." Mel nodded. "Alongside Annie Liu. We were forming an internal committee under the blanket of feminism."
Aaron sniggered.
"Of course you were," He said in awe with a large smile. "Creating a feminist committee within the FBI in order to investigate conspiracies against the government." He shook his head in disbelief.
"And Fred Knavs? How does he fit into it?" Jack asked.
Mel heaved a shaky sigh.
"It's in America's best interest that Fred Knavs does not become President of the United States. He is a bigoted, misogynistic, racist, rapist, who buys power and control and will destroy our country."
There was a long silence as we agreed with Mel's bold statement.
"And what does he have to do with American law enforcement?" I asked nervously.
"The CIA believe that there are departments within all agencies that are conspiring against the current President Robinson in order to elect Knavs and have white men rule our democracy and destroy the potential our women have of succeeding,
"Not only is it sexist and old-fashioned, but Knavs' political stances also pose international security threats. Terrorist organisations are queued up waiting on him coming into power to cut deals, or to attack our country and claim power due to his intellectual incompetency and the fact he has no military experience... it's incredibly dangerous for us all..."
There was a long silence.
"I know you might not understand the importance of this," She sighed after a while. "But Knavs is a very dangerous man. We cannot let him get into power."
"But Mel," Jack said in a quiet voice. "Votes have already been cast, there's only a couple of months left until they count the votes, there's no way we can have control over that now."
"I know," She nodded sadly. "Now it's entirely out of our hands, the best we can do is protect Robinson."
"Protect him?" I questioned in confusion. "Was there ever a threat to him?"
"Oh absolutely," She nodded.
"The day of the explosion proves exactly that. I might've been the end-target for the NYTC, but the security threat on Robinson was more than likely to have been real. Knavs supporters are outraged that a black president rules us. They've been determined on kicking him out since before he was re-elected. It's crucial we protect him."
"This is what you died for?" Beth asked quietly, causing us all to lapse into silence.
Melanie dipped her head, licking her lips.
"I'm sorry to sound ungrateful, or... or silly, but... you died for this cause? Protecting Robinson and seeking out supporters of Knavs?" Beth laughed without humour. "You're the Unit Chief of the BAU within the FBI, Melanie! You're not security personnel in the white house... or... or a part of Interpol or the CIA. Why you? Why did they choose you?"
Melanie lifted her eyes to meet Beth's.
She was right.
We all knew she was right.
Of course, it was admirable the work that Melanie had been doing, and I felt a little flutter of excitement at the fact that she had been involved in such influential operations. But... why?
Beth was right. It didn't make any sense.
"There are a lot of politics involved in being a Unit Chief," Melanie explained slowly. "I disagreed with a lot of them, and made heads turn in meetings when I refused to bow down to protocol or rules," She explained with blushing cheeks.
"A lot of the time I broke rules by coming out on the field with the team, or even just filtering cases through to you guys, or giving the briefings... Each time I did something apparently minor, it had a huge impact on the fact that I shouldn't have been doing it in the first place.
"I had been arguing for a long time that the role had to change and evolve, starting with introducing more BAUs across more bases, more profilers in each team, and psychological training for all agents beginning at the academy.
"I was eager for change and had mapped out all of the requests that I wanted. I wasn't afraid to let my voice be heard, and when Annie came along as Director a couple of years ago, she agreed with a lot of what I was saying. We began planning change together, and a lot of the Chiefs were eager for me to go further..."
She paused for a moment and took a deep breath.
"So... The Bureau had been paying for me to attend University..."
We all stared at Melanie, in shock as she focused on our hands, unable to meet any of our eyes.
"They had me studying politics, and volunteering to help out at a local politician's campaign office... They... They wanted me to run for office too."
"Presidency?" Jack blurted and Melanie shook her head.
"Not presidency. Just office. They wanted a politician to come from the Bureau, they wanted that to be me."
"University?" I pressed. "When the Hell did you have the time for that?"
She shrugged and sighed.
"Three afternoons a week I'd take video classes, and then three afternoons the following week, I'd go onto campus. I'd volunteer two mornings every fortnight, and I'd do assignments from the office at the Bureau."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Aaron asked, his eyes glassy with tears.
"I couldn't," She said, shaking her head. "It was controversial. And when the CIA approached me, I was a month into classes. They wanted me to pursue the political avenue just as much as the Bureau, they wanted me operating within law enforcement as well as office to detect any conspiracists."
"You knew it was dangerous but you continued?" Beth pressed.
"I didn't know it was as dangerous as it was," Mel admitted. "I thought it suspicious that everyone was so keen on me doing it, so desperate and interested in the conspiracies surrounding Knavs and the threats on Robinson. I knew it had the potential to be dangerous, but I didn't for the life of me think it could be deadly."
There was a long silence as we all processed Melanie's words, her eyes glazed over in her past.
She'd been living a double life.
No, she'd been living a triple one.
Now the need for a PA made sense.
"So... How does the NYTC fit into all of this?" Jack broke the silence after a long time of contemplation.
"I'm not sure..." Melanie admitted. "I guess... I must've ruffled some feathers at some point along the way."
"Did you tell them anything?" I asked curiously and she turned with a furrowed brow. "When they were... torturing you?" I gulped and she shook her head.
"No..." She sighed. "They pressed and pressed, but I knew if I told them anything it would be horrific for the entirety of America... Now... It'd seem they've branched out to target the UK too..."
"Why England?" Jack asked and we all glanced at him as he looked puzzled and a little lost.
"You said they kept you in England..." He mused. "Why?"
Melanie shrugged before freezing as a thought popped into her head.
"What?" I pressed. "Mel, what is it?" I asked, beginning to panic as her eyes filled with tears and the blood drained from her face.
"I..." She choked and turned to her dad as if she'd seen a ghost. "I've just remembered something..." She gulped and pressed her fingers to her lips before running for the kitchen.
I chased after her just as she doubled over the sink and vomited heavily.
I rubbed her back slowly as she threw up violently, her entire body shaking as sweat began to pearl on her forehead.
Beth appeared with a paper towel and some water from the refrigerator, and together we guided her back to the sofa.
I lowered myself down onto a bean-bag by the sofa, and Mel reached her hand out.
"Dad..." She said softly, and Aaron approached from the arm-chair where he'd previously been sitting.
"There's something you have to know..." She choked as he took her hand and sat down on the edge of the sofa next to where she lay.
"Kate..." She gulped. "Kate Joyner is alive."
The Fighter
There'd been silence at first.
And then there was disbelieving laughter as my dad paced the room, shaking his head and physically distancing himself from me as if he could distance himself from the truth.
As I explained how she'd orchestrated the whole thing, even instructed Caitlyn to whip me in my final hours within the cell, that's when he had come to the realisation that I was telling the truth.
And then he'd gotten angry.
He'd flipped the coffee table and kicked over the lamps, threw the armchair across the room, roaring and swearing as Jack had run to keep Tilly from hearing or seeing anything.
And then he'd collapsed on the floor in tears, completely and utterly devastated and confused.
As Beth consoled him, I stood by the patio doors, my thumbs pressed to my lips, my fingers interlaced as my tears slid down my cheeks, my heart breaking.
"It's okay... it's just a shock." Spencer said, rubbing my arms and stepping in front of my line of vision so that I couldn't see my dad.
"It is for me too." I whispered.
"How... how are you?" He asked and I turned my eyes to peer up at him in confusion. "Your mom... Torturing you... That... That can't have been easy." He said gently, his hands by his sides.
"She didn't lift a finger to me," I said. "But knowing she planned the whole thing..." I shook my head. "This whole time I thought she was dead... Now, she might as well be."
"Tilly's fine, she went straight back to sleep." Jack smiled as he approached us.
"Thank you for checking on her." I smiled gratefully and reached out to rub his arm.
"Are you okay?" He asked sadly and I nodded my head.
"As well as I can be," I admitted, and looked between them. "Now about this bomb you were both involved in..." They shared a look and Spencer rubbed at his forehead.
"I was fine," Jack said, turning to me with a smile. "I was protected by the car. The bomb was timed to explode, which doesn't really make any sense, but Spencer caught most of the backlash." Spencer threw Jack an ungrateful expression as I turned to him with large, worried eyes.
"I'm fine," He insisted. "It's just a few cuts and bruises, some burns and stitches. I'm fine."
"He was lucky his back wasn't broken." Jack interjected and Spencer shot him a deadly look.
"Your back?" I hissed.
"The force of the blast propelled him into the car. That was the worst injury."
"Okay, will you stop?" Spencer insisted, turning to Jack irritatedly. "Go check on your dad," He snapped and Jack smirked, turning to walk away.
"I'd just got out of the car," Spencer said slowly, turning back to look at me as I folded my arms in determination. "The bomb went off and the heat from it gave me surface burns to my arms and legs. But, they're fine, my legs have healed fine and my arms are getting there..." I snatched his hand and gently extended his arm, reaching for his sleeve. His hand swiped out and caught mine and he shook his head, lowering our hands as he said,
"Not just now. I'll show you later," He said with a small smile. "But I promise you, they're fine," He ran a hand over my cheeks. "Jack was right when he said my back took the brunt of the impact. I was in a wheelchair at first," I winced and he smiled, shaking his head. "It was a precaution. I can walk just fine without it. I was lucky."
There was a pause as I searched his eyes, realising he was telling me the truth.
"And the house?" I gulped and he looked down at me sadly.
"There's nothing left, Mel," He said apologetically. "We have the CCTV, but whoever it was, they knew what they were doing. Everything's wiped out. Emily had gone in before anybody else, but there was nothing left. No trace of them, just the remnants of the bomb."
I sighed and rubbed at my forehead, they really were determined to destroy me.
"Melanie?" Beth called from the sofa and Spencer and I looked over to see my dad sat apprehensively, staring into space.
We approached slowly and I crouched down next to my dad.
"Did she hurt you?" He asked through gritted teeth.
I reached out and covered my dad's hands with one of my own.
"She didn't physically lay a finger on me, dad." I reiterated and he shook his head.
"She did this," He said matter-of-factly. "All of it," He nodded, turning his eyes onto me. "This is her."
"Either way," Spencer said quietly from behind us. "They've hit London now, it's unlikely they'll stop until they have Mel again."
"Well then they'll have a long wait, won't they?" Jack snapped, folding his arms defiantly.
"So, what do we do?" Beth asked quietly. "Do we just stay here forever?" She said, shaking her head.
"No," I sighed, stretching back to my feet. "We have to take some time out here first, heal and regroup," I explained. "We have to come up with a plan too,"
I looked amongst my family, disbelieving that I was really here, having this conversation with them.
"No doubt there have been many spies in all of our lives for an incredibly long time now," I said slowly. "We have to start by identifying them, and establishing a safe team."
"A safe team?" Beth echoed.
"Yeah," I nodded. "A small group of people we can trust to bring these bastards down."
*
"What did you tell Derek?" I asked, changing the subject as I made tea for us all.
It was late, we were all exhausted but we had so much to catch up on, and in all honesty, I was dreading going to sleep. I knew I was only going to be reunited with my nightmares.
"I didn't have to tell him much. He asked where we were and I explained we'd taken a vacation after the explosion at the house. He said he wanted to be the one to tell us before we found out from the news." My dad explained as I passed him a mug and sat down on the sofa, curled next to Spencer.
"So... Who's handling things?" I asked, my brain working overtime.
"No, Mel, no way," Beth said, shaking her head fiercely. "You're not working this." She said matter-of-factly.
"I know I'm not!" I exclaimed innocently. "I'm just trying to figure out who we can and can't trust, that's all." I shrugged, batting my lashes and smiling sweetly.
If they knew me at all by now, they'd know that of course I'd be working it.
"Can we trust anyone?" Jack asked quietly from the bean-bags on the floor.
There was a short silence as I contemplated this.
"No," I said eventually. "We can't. We have to assume everyone is a suspect."
"Does that include the Jones family?" Spencer asked quietly.
I turned to look at him questioningly to find him staring into his mug blankly.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked and he shrugged like a little boy.
"I had no one else to turn to," I insisted. "I was in England, I knew Darren had family in London, I knew he owed me."
"So you decided to call in a favour and inevitably owe him your life?" Spencer asked, turning his sad eyes onto me.
"So what if I did?" I posed, setting my mug onto the coffee table. "What is he going to do about it, Spencer? He's locked up in one of the most secure prisons. He isn't going anywhere."
"I wasn't talking about him... You said his brother runs London."
"Half of London," I insisted. "Jason runs half of London."
"As if that makes a difference." He scoffed and I sighed.
"I trust you," My dad interjected confidently.
I looked up to see Beth sitting on the arm of the chair he was on, a hand on his shoulder as they smiled at us.
"If you trusted Darren enough to protect you, then I trust him too. There's a reason you contacted him, and there's a reason you're sitting here just now. Whether your life is owed to Darren or Jason, that doesn't matter. We'll thank them when the time is right. The details just now, aren't important."
I nodded my head in agreement, but I knew Spencer wasn't letting this one go.
"We can trust Jason," I said simply. "If we couldn't, there's no way I'd be here. I'd be back in a cell with the NYTC, or in a safe-house with Interpol. There's no way I'd be with my family."
"Do you know where he is?" Beth asked quietly and I shook my head.
"Neither of us had time to ask each other any questions. We just had to run our separate ways and hope we wouldn't get caught or traced. I don't even know if he's still alive."
There was a long pause as we all processed this.
"What have we gotten into?" Beth whispered after a long time. I heaved a shaky sigh and shook my head to clear it.
"If we manage a week here, great," I said simply. "After that, my dad, Spencer and I will return to DC with Jason-"
"What? No!" Beth and Jack simultaneously exclaimed. "You're not leaving us here to go back there yourself!" Jack insisted.
"That's ludicrous, we've just got you back!" Beth said.
I sighed and chewed on my lip.
"I can't risk any of you getting hurt. These people... Interpol and the Cell, they're vile and cruel and they'll stop at nothing to get to me. Kate even threatened to bring Tilly in whilst she questioned me!" I exclaimed and everyone's eyes went wide, my dad falling a paler shade of grey.
"I can't risk that," I said simply. "I just won't."
"But Mel, wouldn't it be better if we all stick together?" Spencer said softly, reaching a hand out for my leg.
"If we're all together, we know we're all safe, with Jack, Beth and Tilly here, they won't have anyone here to protect them."
"Yeah, I mean, what can I do that's better than you guys?" Jack agreed enthusiastically.
"Hey, you can do a lot, Captain, don't kid yourself," I snapped and suddenly he fell silent, his eyes filling with tears.
"What?" I asked apprehensively, wondering what I'd said to upset him.
"I never thought I'd get to hear you call me that ever again." He said in a choked voice, his eyes filled with tears.
I smiled emotionally too and spread my arms for him. He hurried over and pulled me to my feet, squeezing me in the strongest hug I'd had for a very long time. I thought he was going to break my frail bones, he squeezed me so tightly.
"Jack," I chuckled, rubbing at his back. "I'm not as strong as I used to be." I laughed and he apologised profusely, letting me go and rubbing my arms gently.
"I didn't mean to hurt you." He smiled sadly and I shook my head, holding his face in my hands and peering up at him.
He'd grown so much in my absence.
He was broader and taller and stronger and so handsome. I wondered if he'd found love whilst I was gone, or if anyone had broken his heart. I felt a pang of rage as I thought of this. He was my little brother and nobody could ever hurt him.
It was this thought that made me realise he was right.
"Okay," I said eventually, letting him go so that I could sit back down, breathless and weak. "We all stick together."
The Protector
That night was just like the last; tossing and turning, screaming and sobbing, kicking and crying until eventually, it all stopped.
"I'm sorry." Came her choked voice. I pulled back from her to see her staring up at the ceiling with sad and tired eyes, her chest rising and falling with her haggard breaths.
"What're you apologising for?" I whispered, pulling back to look at her properly. The bedside lamp was still on and casting shadows across her face and scarred arms.
From her side, I could see the white and pink gashes against the black ink of her tattoos, and she had told me how Hart had sliced into her old wrist scars with a blunt piece of metal, and how she'd battled with the memory of slicing her skin in the bathtub, feeling like her life wasn't worth the effort anymore.
Now, we both realised how priceless our lives really were.
We'd come full circle and I still couldn't believe I had her here, in my arms, scarred and beaten and bruised, but still my Melanie. Still my wife. Still the mother of my child and the answer to all of my wishes.
"I'm waking the whole house up with my dreams." She smiled through her tears and shook her head, licking her lips and gulping.
"It's okay, Melly," I whispered softly. "We'd rather you screamed your lungs out from now until doomsday, than not have you at all."
She rolled over and curled on my chest, her lashes fluttering against her cheek as she closed her eyes and rested.
I kissed the top of her shaved head and closed my own eyes, so thankful to have her in my arms again.
*
When I awoke in the morning, the bed was empty beside me and for a moment, panic shot through me.
That was until I realised what had awoken me and jumped slightly as I noticed Tilly sat on the bottom of the bed, watching me.
"Good morning daddy!" Melanie and Tilly sang together.
"Good morning my beautiful girls." I grinned, spreading my arms and allowing Tilly to jump into them excitedly.
"Hey, make room for me!" Mel laughed, climbing back into bed and snuggling in beside us.
"Yay!" Tilly cheered, and cuddled under the covers like a little baby, clapping her hands as I lay on one side of her, and Mel on the other.
"Remember when Tills was so little, she'd fit on both of our chests and we could still lie with our shoulders touching?" Mel smiled, tucking Tilly's hair away from her face. Our daughter giggled and I nodded, watching Melanie as she watched Matilda.
"Those were magical days." She grinned, a sparkle in her eye.
"Can we make pancakes now?" Tilly asked excitedly, looking up at her mom with such love and adoration it completely took my breath away.
"Of course we can baby-love." Melanie grinned, climbing to the edge of the bed. Tilly jumped on Melanie's back in a piggy-back.
I dived across the bed, snatching Tilly from Melanie in the same instant that she shot up, screaming in pain.
"Oh mommy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Tilly cried in my arms as Melanie fell to the floor in agony.
A moment later, Beth came hurtling through the door, her mouth covered in toothpaste and her toothbrush in her hand.
"What happened?" She asked, dropping to her knees in front of Melanie.
"I only wanted a piggy-back, Nanny B, I didn't mean to hurt momma, I didn't, I swear!" Tilly sobbed in my arms and I kissed her head, running my hands over her back as I passed her to Beth.
"It's okay, it was just a little accident." Melanie said through her teeth as tears rolled down her cheeks with the pain.
"C'mon we'll get you some breakfast my pumpkin." Beth said hurriedly, rushing from the room where Aaron and Jack stood watching in the doorway. They closed the door behind her as I dropped to my knees in front of Melanie.
I could see the t-shirt she was wearing had soaked up some blood from the edges of her back-wounds from the ones that had reopened.
"She didn't mean it, it's okay." Melanie said in a thick voice, her entire body shaking.
"Mel, we have to get you to a doctor..." I said softly, my hand hovering over her shoulder, unsure if I could touch her.
"No," She insisted, reaching out to hold my arms, attempting to straighten her back. "No doctors, I'm okay. I'm healing."
"Melanie, your wounds have reopened and our daughter isn't even that forceful!" I insisted and she shook her head, insisting on getting to her feet.
"Our daughter is the one making me heal, Spencer, nothing a doctor can do or prescribe can make me heal quicker than Tilly."
I didn't say anything as I helped her to her feet. She swayed a little, but was still, and was eventually able to open her eyes.
"At least let me take a look at them?" I asked and she nodded her head apprehensively.
She turned around slowly, lifting the t-shirt just a little. I coaxed it the rest of the way and avoided wincing as I noticed the wounds around the edges of her back had separated slightly and were bleeding. The inner wounds were scabbing, and some were turning a little swollen and looked blistered. They didn't look healthy, not by any means.
"Okay, come to the bathroom and we'll clean it up, a little cream and it'll be fine." I smiled at her reassuringly and she nodded, her mind clearly elsewhere.
*
Once I'd fixed her up, we went downstairs together and Mel held Tilly tightly, the pair of them sat at the breakfast bar in silence, watching as Beth and I tried to make pancakes in the most animated way we could despite the elephant in the room.
Jack and Aaron were discussing things whilst the TV drowned their voices out, and after we'd all eaten, Melanie and Tilly went upstairs to get dressed into proper clothes.
"What can we do to help them, Spencer?" Beth asked emotionally.
"I don't know, Beth. I wish I did know."
"What about training?" Jack asked in a quiet voice. We all turned to him questioningly and he sighed.
"Melanie, train Melanie back into health again?" He offered.
"I'm not sure I follow..." I admitted.
"Think about it. When she was pregnant, the first time, she trained you, didn't she? Made you fit and alert and everything," He shrugged. "Well, why don't we do that for her? She needs to get her strength back up, and maybe training again will help her."
"I don't know Jack, we don't want to push her too far too soon." Aaron said apprehensively.
"If she's wanting to go back to DC, she'll need to have her strength back to do that." I admitted.
"Exactly! Training is the perfect place to start, to test her, to see if she's ready to go back. If she isn't there physically, we can't expect her to be ready mentally either."
I nodded my head.
"Okay, we'll train her."
"And how do we do that?" Beth asked, folding her arms in judgement.
"You can't exactly go to the gym, or even go outside." Aaron agreed.
As we were all in silent thought, Tilly came skipping back downstairs in her cute dungarees and bunches.
"Where's momma?" I asked as she dropped her toys by the patio doors and threw herself onto the floor happily.
"She's moving the bed." She said simply, as if it were the most normal thing on the planet.
We all looked at each other.
"She's what?" Jack laughed, spinning around on his stool.
"She's moving the bed." Tilly repeated with a shrug, picking her cars up and sweeping them along the floor.
"What bed?" I asked curiously, folding my arms and wondering whether this was a joke.
Tilly sighed emphatically and looked up at me through her lashes as though I was silly.
"My bed," She said impatiently. "She told me not to tell you." She shrugged and I frowned at the others, pushing away from the breakfast counter to hurry upstairs.
I pushed into the bedroom that was initially mine and Tilly's to see Melanie panting desperately as she attempted to push the large bed-frame away from the door - and me - and towards the window.
"Mel," I said abruptly, making her jump in surprise. "What're you doing?" I laughed, pushing inside the room.
"Damn," She said breathlessly, leaning back to wipe a hand across her forehead. "I knew she'd rat on me." She laughed, shaking her head.
"You're moving her bed, what did you expect?" I laughed, putting a hand on her shoulder. "What's going on?"
She looked at me apprehensively and shrugged.
"There's a bunker under here. I'm trying to get to it." She sounded more like our daughter than ever before, saying that sentence as though it were the most normal thing in the world. At least I knew where Tilly got it from.
I looked at her blankly for a moment before her words fully registered.
"A bunker?" I repeated. "Under Tilly's bed?"
"Well, this was supposed to be the master suite," She explained, gesturing to the ensuite. "I know that you and Tilly were sharing in here, but, as the master suite, I wanted the bunker here."
"You wanted the bunker here? Mel... how... we haven't even talked about how and why you even got this place. I mean... How much did this place cost?"
She waved her hand as though it was nothing.
"It's under expenses," She explained. "When you're working undercover for the CIA, FBI and becoming a politician, a lot of people give you a lot of money and don't even question where it goes or why."
"So this is... courtesy of the American government or...?"
"No. That money is in a safe account completely untouched. This... is Grandpa's money..." She looked around the room emotionally and I looked at her in confusion.
"But... you didn't... after he died... there wasn't anything left." I shook my head.
"There wasn't," She said. "Apart from his house. He'd left it to the nurse who cared for him. She emigrated to Australia a couple of years ago, and so I sold the house and used the money to buy this place. English property sells for far more than here, so... there was room to go wild... and I used some of the interest the government cash gained."
She smiled up at me and I sighed, wrapping my arms around her in a moment of sheer happiness.
"You are the most wonderful person I've ever met, you know that, don't you?" She laughed and rubbed my back, the smell of her hair clean and sterile as opposed to her familiar comfort and warmth.
"You've mentioned it a couple of times, but... it doesn't hurt to hear it again..." She shrugged and we both turned to the bed.
"Okay, let's get this thing pushed back then, shall we?" I rolled up my sleeves and Melanie gasped. I turned to her in a panic, thinking she had hurt herself again, before she immediately reached out to touch my arms.
"Oh my god, Spencer..." She said emotionally, her hands tracing the burns on my forearms. "No wonder you wouldn't let me see these before..." She said sadly, shaking her head as she turned my hands over, twisting my arms gently so she could see the scorch marks.
"I'm fine, really." I said, trying to pull my arms free.
"I can't believe they did this to you..." She said, shaking her head as she watched me pull my sleeves back down.
"Honestly, Mel, it could've been a hell of a lot worse, if it wasn't for Emily, Jack and I would both be dead."
"Retaliation," She shuddered. "Just because they lost me."
We were both silent for a few moments, lost in our thoughts.
"I'm fine," I insisted, shaking out of it. "We both are," I nudged her and winked. "C'mon, let's get this bed moved before I change my mind."
We turned back to the bed and I gripped the head-board and the edge of the frame, pushing on my side and cringing as the wooden posts scraped off the wooden floor. I was surprised that I was able to push the bed further and faster than Melanie, and once it was flush with the back wall of the room, we turned and I saw the dusty rug that had been beneath the bed.
Coughing, Melanie lifted the large rug and threw it aside, dust flying. We laughed as we waved the dust-mites from the air and turned back to look at the floor. There were two large hatch-doors with spaces cut out for handles, about the same size as the mattress on the bed.
I grabbed one, and Melanie grabbed the other, and together we heaved the doors open, letting them fall against the floor on either side.
"This is insane..." I said in awe as Melanie grabbed a flashlight from the nightstand and clicked it on, shining it down onto a spiral staircase beneath.
A moment or two later, Jack knocked on the door and pushed inside.
"Whoa..." He said in awe. "What the Hell?"
"It's a bunker." Melanie explained as Jack peered down through the hatch doors.
"Pretty shit bunker if you can't hide down there without people up here knowing." He said simply and Melanie's mouth parted in surprise. In a flash, her hand had reached out and slapped the back of Jack's head.
"Ow!" He hissed, rubbing it.
"Firstly, watch your goddamn mouth," Melanie warned, pointing the flashlight into Jack's face, making him wince again. "Secondly, don't be so fucking ungrateful, this is to protect you after all."
I stared down into the hatch and sighed, Melanie Hotchner-Reid really was the most miraculous person in the world.