She yelled at him but still he was patient. For him, he knew for a girl how important it was to become a mother.
He smiled trying to calm her down.
"Bani bani..ok but its necessary na Kanda(baby)... please just a bite ok please sweetheart please...have it.. it's not for your mood its for your body..your body needs it, please sweetheart " he pleaded her to have her food with making another bite,bani had tears with his words,his care,his unconditional love,his patience... but she was up to something. She had now determined that she wanted him to vent out his grife. She held back her softness and cried back again.
"Veer you never understand me,you are least bothered of what am I going through, so can you please leave me and go... I'm not in the state of mind to accept this..you never understand me nor my emotions.." she said in louder voice and tears in her eyes. She accused him for her state. For the loss.
The sentence of "you are least bothered about me" from Bani teared him off till the core, he lost his cool, stood up with the jerk throwing the the glass to the floor, 'tinkle-tinkle' , breaking it into pieces. With this sound Meera entered their room in horror.
"Bani, Veer" she exclaimed.
Bani signalled her saying it's fine and she'll handle it, Meera understood and she left the room closing the door behind.
Tears pooled in his eyes. "What do you think bani...? What do you think...? Ha..? And what the hell do you mean I'm least bothered...? Haa..? Even I lost my kid as you did... but chanting the same thing..will not get back our baby... we will have to accept the truth... ya it's bitter.. but this is the fact... why don't you understand Bani, why don't you..?"
Veer said, anger,frustration was all written on his face. He still tried to console his sweetheart.
"No veer you don't, you don't understand my view.." she said hurting him.
"Oh really..? I can't understand you..? I'm not able to meet your eyes Bani, even being beside you that day I was helpless, now I'm here holding on myself just to give you strength, I'm trying to forget that as a bad dream but you..you come up poking the same topic with some new thing... why don't you get over it... I had told you to stay back that day.. but no.. you never listened me... I told to call out meera but still no.. and now you are facing this phase of life, infact we.. we are facing this.... both of us are not in state to accept this. where we had to enjoy this phase and where we lost everything in single second. The world just turned upside down." He broke down sat on his knees near the cupboard, crying sobbing sniffing.... wiping his tears with his shoulder. His shirt socking in his tears.
Bani came near him sitting in front of him on her knees, she cupped his face. "I know I didn't listen to you. I know I'm careless but you...., you are the best dad in the whole world veeranshu, I know if our child would be here,he or she would definitely say that 'you are the best dad' and you are the best husband."
"Bani,I didn't meant that, I'm not blaming you for all that happend, but even I'm hurt Bani.. but-but..." he was unable to continue but Bani continued.
"But Your not showing it Veer,because may be seeing you this weak I'll too go weak..right..? I know somewhere you are feeling guilty, but no... it was not in both of us to hold on, I know I'm emotional I'm broken, failed to read your thoughts,but I can't see you this way either. We should stay strong na veer..?"
"Bani you know I thought, I planed a lot of things for us.. you remember that day..(he caressed her tummy) when we discussed baby's name..?" (He had tears saying this and Bani was still holding his face kneeling down nodding yes to his words in tears,while he continues) we ..we were so happy. I thought if it's boy he would be your side as you know boys are much closer to their mom's as as... I was, and if it's a girl.. she would definitely be my princess, she would be my side..(both had a painful smile imagining these things) and and...(veer sniffing) if it would be boy.. then I would some how slip him in my team... and we would be in the same team... and we would play together we would have had a manly talks... right bani.. (she nodded yes in tears) he would love me more than you.. and my princess she would no doubt be in my team..." Bani tucking him under her chin,holding him,caressing his back.
"Oh so you had planed to team up against me...ah...? Really Mr.husband..?what do you think that I would let this happen so easily..? No... no... they are my kids too... even I would enjoy my make-up with your princess,''
"My princess..?" He asked cutely like a proud father being in the same position, she nodded yes and hmmed then continued "And our girly shopping and I would complain about you to my boy..he would not spare you for hurting his mom... right..?" She said emotionally. They had a painful giggle with tears and a torn heart.
"And listen now I'm fine.. but I needed you to come out of this,(he came out of her embrace,but she continued her words cupping him.) I know you were holding this,this anger, this feeling this frustration..and lot more.. I just wanted you to speak about them... anger or emotional, I wanted to get these things out of you.." she pecked a slight kiss on his lips.
"Thank you Wify, it's..it's much more than this... thank you, you understood my pov... thank you.. for bringing this out..else I myself don't know what might this lead to...? I was not having much courage to meet your eyes after the incident, I felt helpless... when I saw you falling... I could not help you.. when you were on the hospital bed...on the ventilation, I was breaking down by each passing second, and then I got this news.. until I could digest this, doctor's were running around in emergency as you were... you were.. breathing with difficulty.. bani just in fraction of second I have died a several times... I had already lost one life.(touching her stomach). I could not handle any other bad news... I was so scared of loosing......(he could not continue "you too") but thank God that I got you back..I was glad that at least have left with the reason for me to live.. otherwise I would.. I would really end my ...."
"Shhh" bani shushed him keeping her finger on his lips.
"Veer" they hugged each other tightly as never before as they were distanced themselves after the incident.
"I love you veer, I'm sorry" She said hugging.
"I love you bani, I'm sorry too" he said breaking the hug.
"Veer...just one last thing,can I ask.. and you should promise me you'll the the truth." She said looking down.
"Yes sweetheart please." He said.
"Will I ever be able to conceive again...?" A tear rolled her eyes which fell on his palms.
He was mum.
"I got your answer veer,I'm sorry for this." She said getting up.
"Bani" He held her wrist, he stood up meeting her eyes. "umm doctor said there is less chance.. but before any conclusion of you can conceive again or not... he said he'll have to check you again after you are fully cured with this." These words by veer somewhere gave hopes for bani.
_____________
It was over a month and Bani was now out of bed rest. They had visit the doctor for a after check-up. And the fear that was eating up Bani. Will she ever able to conceive again ?
After the test and examining her " Yes she is fine now.. but..."
"But..? " she was desperate to know. All the possible negetive thoughts crossed over her head.
Doctor continued "but she'll have to take some medications and visit for regular check up for up to three months or so for us to confirm about your (he looked at bani) health. And yes there is chances of you to conceive again but its just 5 to 6%." He concluded.
"Oh that's grate,I was ready to fight even with 1% but here its more than that,I'll definitely fight for this..." bani said excitingly with the hope sparkling in her eyes, then looking into veer's eyes.
_______________
Two months passed.
Bani had had to follow a diet plan and some exercises. And stricktly no stress.
B
ani had turned unsually silent. And this was eating up veer. He knew she was acting to be normal. But alas she was not that good actress, at least for him. He exactly knew what she was going through.
They had retarded to their room after dinner. Bani creepily had got into her comforter. Veer tapped her on her shoulder from behind.
" Come here" he indicated his open arms to her.
She did as she was said. After a while she broke the silence, "Veer I'll be ok right..? I..I" lot of doubts, insecurities and fear taking over her.
"Yes sure,and please be strong" veer consoled her. " And No matter what will be the result, I will still love you the same way as I did, you get it..? No matter what." he continued.
She had a tears of... security..relief...not that she was a backward class to believe that if she didn't have kid then she will lose him,no that was not the thing. A girl can never express the feeling for having a life inside her. Having to start a family with him. To have kids of their own. The life sprouting inside one's body, was really unexplainable.
This reassurance from him had some other impact on her mind. She looked deeply in his eyes closing the distance she placed a kiss on his cheeks, he kissed her forehead with the same affection and then took her in his embrace tightly.
______________
Finally it was the 3rd month that Bani had been consulting the doctor, doctor came out with the scan report of Bani.
"Doctor..?" Questioned veer and Bani in unison. As soon the doctor opened his mouth to speak something Bani held veer's hands which was now placed on the handle of the chair closed her eyes and sent a prayer in fraction of second. Veer had his shoes tapping against the marble floor which showed his anxiety. Still trying to console her by caressing her palm.
"Yes you are perfectly fine Mrs.Veeranshu Singhania, you can conceive anytime infact as many times you need" he winked naughtylly at Veer,while veer smiled in shy but was too happy. And Bani... Bani was just on the other level.
"Thank you doctor, thank you devre(God)" closing her eyes for a second. she looked in his eyes and doctor having a clue that the couple needed some time, he walked out. She hugged veer. Veer had had his hands on her tummy. " I'll bring my baby back"
"We will" she corrected him with a smile playing on her lips. Veer gently placed a tender kiss on her lips holding on for a longer beat, while Bani had her tears flowing down out of happiness.
They returned home with the good news. The members were more than happy and thank full to God. Balwant joined his hands and looked up at the ceiling to thank the all mighty.
All were happy... in peace - specially Veer and Bani. He held her wrist both looking at each each other conveying love and adoration to each other. And a silent promise that they will handle all the issues and differences that come there way.
The end.
This feeling of getting apart,the loss,the guilt the fear... what not.. can't be explained in words. Hope I did justice to the situation.
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Ufff,finally done with this emotional one. It was lengthy.
I swear guys when I was reading it for the correction I literally had tears,though written by me.
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