(A musical remake for that 'All Because Of A Scratch' which was supposed to be the OCs debating which backstory sucks the most.
And that chap failed. And I guess also this chap as well...)
- Cue Music -
Zero: What do you do... With a B.A. in English?
Zero: What is my life going to be?
Zero: Four years of college, and plently of knowledge...
Zero: Have earned me this useless degree!
Zero: I can't pay the bills yet, cause I have no skills yet.
Zero: The world is a big scary place.
Zero: But somehow I can't shake, the feeling I might make... A difference, to the human race!
- Cue more music, and head to Avenue Q -
Forty: Morning Romus!
Romus: Hi Forty.
Forty: How's life?
Romus: Disappointing.
(Solaris in the background: Isn't it always?)
Forty: What's the matter?
Romus: The wolf group had laid me off again.
Forty: Oh I'm sorry....
Romus: Me too! I mean - look at me! I'm 10 years out of college and I always thought.... Oh-
Forty: What?
Romus: No, it'll sound stupid.
Forty: Aw c'mon, just f*cking say it.
Romus: When I was little, I thought I would be.
Forty: What?
Romus: A big comedian at late night TV.
Forty: Hahaha no.
Romus: But now I'm 32 (actually 12 but let's just roll with the music), and as you can see, I'm not.
Forty: Nope.
Romus: Oh well.
Forty: *shrugs*
Romus: It sucks to be me!
Forty: No.
Romus: It's sucks to be me.
Forty: No!
Romus: It sucks to be broke (lonely) and unemployed (have no pack) and turning 33 (13). It sucks to be me!
Forty: You think your life sucks?
Romus: I think so!
Forty: Your problems aren't so bad! (Gatekeeping you lil-)
Forty: I'm kinda pretty, I'm pretty damn smart.
Romus: You are!
Forty: Thanks!
Forty: I like romantic things like music and art!
Forty: And as you know I've got a gigantic heart! So why, don't I have a boyfriend?! F*CK it sucks to be me!
(Solaris again in the background: Your boy best friend/crush died Forty)
Romus: Me too!
Forty: It sucks to be me!
Romus: It sucks to be me!
Romus: It sucks to be Romus!
Forty: And Forty!
Romus: To not have a job!
Forty: To not have a date!
Romus & Forty: It sucks to be me!
Twig & Sprig: *arguing while walking down the street or whatever*
Romus: Hey Twig, Sprig, could you settle somehthing for us? Do you have a second?
Twig: hm okay?
Sprig: *nods*
Forty: Who's life sucks more; Romus or mine?
Twig & Sprig: *looks at each other* *then back at them* Ours!
Twig: We live together.
Sprig: We're closest people can get.
(Solaris again in the background: Not shocking, you are siblings)
Twig: We've been the best of buddies.
Sprig: Ever since the day we've met!
Twig: *glares at him* So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset!
Sprig: What?!
Twig: Oh everyday is an aggravation.
Sprig: Come on that's an exaggeration!
Twig: You leave your clothes out!
Sprig: Wha-
Twig: You put your feet on my chair!
Sprig: Oh yeah?! You do such 'anal' (analrentetive (i think?)) things like ironing your underwear!
Romus & Forty: Hahaha!
Twig: You make that very small apartment we share, a HELL!
Sprig: *flips a reverse Uno* So do you! That's why I'M in Hell TOO!
Twig: It sucks to be me!
Sprig: No it sucks to be me!
Forty: It sucks to be me!
Romus: It sucks to be me!
All four: Is there anybody here that doesn't suck to be? It sucks to be me...
Forty: Tadatadata~
Romus: Tadatadata~
Twig: Tadatadata~
Sprig: Tadatadata~!
Forty: Tadatadata~
Romus: Tadatadata~
Twig: Tadatadata~
Sprig: Tadatadata~!
Aquila: *walking in now seeing all this sh*t* Why are you all so happy?
Romus: Cause our lives suck?
Aquila: Your life sucks? I am hearing you correctly? Ha!
Aquila: I'm coming to this country, for opportunity.
Aquila: Tried to work in Korean Deli, but I am Japanese! (No she is not)
Aquila: But with hard work I earned two masters degrees in Social Work! And now I am a therapist! But I have no clients! And I have *points at Romus* an unemployed fiancé!
Romus: *backs up*
Aquila: And we *throws bills at him each beat* have lots of bills to pay!
Aquila: It sucks to be me!
Aquila: It sucks to be me!
Aquila: I say it sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, SUCKS! It sucks to be me!
Zero: Uh, excuse me...
Romus: Hey there.
Zero: Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a place to live.
Aquila: Why are you looking all the way out here?
Zero: Well I started in Avenue A, but so far, everything was out of my price range. But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper.
Zero: *grabs a sign* Oh and look a 'For rent' sign!
Romus: You would need to talk to the superintendant. Let me get her.
Zero: Why thanks!
Romus: YO TWENTY-THREE!
Twenty-Three: I'm coming, I'm coming!
- Cue awesome music as TT makes her grand entrance -
Zero: Oh my god it's the Songbird!
Twenty-Three: Yes I am!
Twenty-Three: I'm Twenty-Three, from Circus Music Shows.
Twenty-Three: I made a lot of money that got stolen by my folks! *glaring at infamous The Joker poster she somehow has*
Twenty-Three: Now I'm broke, and I am a butt of everyone's jokes! But I am here - The Superintendant! Of Avenue Q!
All except Zero: It sucks to be you!
Forty: You win!
All again: It sucks to be you!
Romus: I feel better now.
Twenty-Three: Try having people stop at you and ask you, "Whatcha talking with us?!" *sighs* It gets, old.
All except TT, of course: It sucks to be you!
All boys: On Avenue Q!
All girls: Sucks to be me!
All boys: On Avenue Q!
All girls: Sucks to be you!
All boys: On Avenue Q!
All girls: Sucks to be us!
All: But not when we're together! We're together here on Avenue Q! We live on Avenue Q! Our friends do too! Till our dreams come true! We live on Avenue Q!
Zero: This is real life!
All: We live on Avenue Q!
Sprig: You're gonna love (loathe) it!
All: We live on Avenue Q!
Twenty-Three: Here's your keys!
All: Welcome to Avenue, Q!
Solaris: Guys I didn't have my own lines T-T
Bushi: Awh, it's okay Solaris!