Chapter 9
"Where do you see yourself in five years?" I asked Harry where he was lying on my chest, our legs tangled together under a blanket draped over our clothed bodies.
We were lying in my bunk on our tour bus. We were on our 'Where we are" tour and had performed in Liverpool tonight. The lads were chilling in the room at the back of the bus while Harry and I were here, cuddling in my bunk.
"I see you," he smiled, looking up at me through his long eyelashes while I twirled a curl of his hair that was growing pretty long around my finger. "And me. We're leaving every car, every building together, holding hands because we can, because there's nothing holding us back anymore," he told me, making my heart skip a beat in my chest.
"Yeah?" I breathed, gracing his cheek with my thumb.
He nodded, his lips forming a sweet smile with his dimples on full show. "And if you asked me where I see myself in fifty years, I'd say I see us sitting on a bench in a park, watching our grandchildren play in the playground with joined hands. No matter what time you ask me about, I would see us together because you are my future, Louis."
Feeling tears pricking my eyes, I ran my index finger from his forehead, down his nose to his lips, my gaze fixated on his eyes. "I love you, Harry," I whispered, making him lean in so that our foreheads were touching.
"I love you too, Louis, so much."
He then leaned in to press his soft, plump lips against mine in a sweet kiss.
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Waking up the following day wasn't exactly a bed of roses, and that dream slash memory didn't make things better. My head was pounding in a way that made it feel like a hammer was banging my forehead from the inside. With a groan, I managed to get out of bed and dressed in my grey Fila hoodie along with my matching pair of joggers. I grabbed my black Adidas cap on my way out of the room and put it on my head before trudging down to the lunchroom.
Just like yesterday morning, Perrie was already there, but to my surprise, Harry was too. He didn't seem half as bad as I did, which I thought was weird considering the amount of alcohol I witnessed him consuming yesterday. Perrie didn't seem too bad either, although she looked a bit tired.
"Good morning, Louis," she greeted, cracking a small smile.
I looked over at Harry, who was pulling bits off his sandwich and popping them into his mouth. He didn't even seem to acknowledge the fact that I had just arrived. "Morning," I replied, turning to look down at the surface of the table.
Pressing the palms of my hands against my forehead, I let out a deep sigh. Not only were things already bad enough that I had to be around my ex every day, but now I had a killing headache on top of that too. Could someone save me from this hell hole?
"We're going to Birmingham today. Patrick said he wants us to be ready at twelve because he doesn't want us to arrive there too late in the evening," Perrie informed, making me furrow my brows.
"At twelve? But it's..." I trailed off to check the time on my phone. "Eleven right now. How are we going to get ready in that short amount of time?"
She tilted her head to the side. "Most of us have been up for a while, Louis. Nick has already eaten, and I've already finished packing my bags. You're just lucky this place is still serving breakfast," she chuckled.
I ran my hands over my face. "There's no way I will be finished on time. The entire content of my suitcase is pretty much all over my room. It's going to take ages until I'll be ready," I groaned.
"I'm not surprised about that," I heard Harry mumble, making me snap my head up.
He was still not looking at me, his gaze stuck on the sandwich in his hands, but I knew what I heard. I hadn't imagined it.
"Well, I can always help you," Perrie suggested.
I raised my eyebrows at her in surprise. "Really? You'd do that?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, why not? I don't exactly have anything better to do."
I was still shocked as I stared at her, but then I narrowed my eyes. "How come you don't even seem to feel half as shitty as I do? It feels like my head's about to explode, yet it seems like you're not even affected by last night," I frowned.
A smile formed on her lips as she shook her head. "I'm tired as hell, but I guess I was just lucky by not getting a headache. I didn't have too much to drink," she explained.
Pouting my lips, I looked over at Harry suspiciously. Was he just very good at hiding his hangover, or had he gotten so used to alcohol that he didn't get them as often anymore? He used to get the worst hangovers back in the days without even consuming that much alcohol. But that might have changed too, just like everything else.
Averting my gaze, I bit my bottom lip. "I'll go get something to eat before they remove the breakfast," I muttered, getting up from my seat and leaving the two of them alone.
I wasn't very hungry, so I settled with two slices of toasts and a cup of Yorkshire tea before going back to the table with my tray. The first thing I noticed was that Harry had left and that Perrie was sitting there alone. "Um, where did Harry go?" I asked, although I didn't really care. It wasn't like he was paying any attention to me anyway.
"He said he needed to go packing. He left you these, though," she said, pushing two pills towards me on the table. "He said he didn't want to hear you complaining about your headache the entire day."
My eyes widened momentarily when it dawned on me what it was. He had given me painkillers. "How can I be sure these aren't some kind of toxic drug? You would never fucking know about him," I muttered, frowning at the two pills in front of me.
I could see Perrie rolling her eyes from the corners of my eyes. "I'm pretty sure he doesn't want you dead. Besides, you should be thankful for this, not see it as another excuse to accuse him of something. Just take the kind gesture and swallow those pills, Louis."
Letting out a scoff, I popped the two pills into my mouth and gulped them down with some tea. "Why do you suddenly think so well of him? Don't you remember the way he snapped at you just the other day?" I huffed.
A smile formed on her lips. "He's actually apologized for that. We really bonded when we were out shopping yesterday," she explained, making me snort.
"Of course you did," I mumbled. "If you see me starting to cough blood or having a hard time breathing, you know who to kill for me, though, alright?" I said, raising my eyebrows at her.
"Yes," she replied, chuckling. "Now, eat your breakfast so that we can go pack your suitcase."
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With Perrie's help, I ended up finishing packing on time, and we all left the hotel together. Harry was dressed in his black Columbia hoodie and grey joggers while wearing sunglasses for some reason. The sun was far from shining in the dark sky, so they weren't necessary for anything other than flashing cameras, which we didn't have to deal with while leaving the hotel anyway.
Maybe his eyes were red from last night, but who knows? It wouldn't surprise me if he wore them only to come off as untouchable. It only added to the way he had been acting since day one of this journey, and it made me yet again think of what Simon had told me the day when everything started going downhill. He had said that Harry's new record label would turn him into an artist that would come off as untouchable. Even if my mind had been all over the place that day, I deep down never thought it would happen because Harry had always been so down to earth, and he loved showing off his true personality to people. But now, it seemed like he was holding back on that, even if a bright smile was still always on his lips whenever he talked to people while genuinely seeming to care about them.
My mind was spinning with these thoughts while sitting in the car on our way to Birmingham. Perrie was yet again sitting in the middle seat with me and Harry on each side, and Nick was sitting in the passenger seat next to Patrick. She was scrolling through her phone while Harry was snoring, his head leaning on the door beside him, and those godforsaken sunglasses were still on his nose.
The pills he had given me were finally starting to kick in (it turned out they were Advils after all), so I felt a lot better than I did this morning, my head not pounding half as much as it did then. I had slept pretty well last night too, so I wasn't tired either, which left me to be stuck with my never-ending thoughts.
The worst part of it was that they only consisted of Harry. Harry, Harry, Harry. You would have thought after two years, my brain would have managed to move past this, but apparently not. So, with a deep sigh, I let my mind spring free because I knew there was nothing I could do to make it stop anyway.
My thoughts instantly went to the conversation I'd had with Lottie the other day, how she told me that I might be the reason Harry snapped at people sometimes, including myself. That could still be the truth because now that I had witnessed how he was around other people for a few more days, I knew that he wasn't an arrogant person in general, and he had never been.
He had still changed, though, just like I mentioned before. No one could take that away from him, and the way he was acting last night at the pub was just one proof of that. I didn't know what it was, but I didn't like it because it just wasn't him.
"Alright, guys. We're going to have to stop to get something to eat. What place do you reckon?" Patrick asked, soon noticing that half of us were currently sleeping. "Jesus, what were you guys up to yesterday? It looks like some of you haven't gotten a good night's sleep in ages," he continued, shaking his head.
"We were out," I explained, biting my bottom lip. "Thought we would take the opportunity since we had a day off."
He shrugged his shoulders, letting out a sigh. "Fair enough," he replied. "Now, where should we go?"
I looked over at the other people in the car, noticing that Perrie was the only one awake. "Somewhere secluded. It feels unnecessary to create chaos by showing up at a public place," I told him, to which he pursed his lips.
"I'll inform the other cars about that then."
A few minutes later, we pulled up outside a diner that seemed almost empty of people. Patrick had to shake Nick awake while Harry seemed to wake up the second the car came to a stop. We then got out of the car and headed inside the diner along with the other crew members.
Nick instantly walked up to Harry, throwing an arm around his shoulders while starting to talk enthusiastically. It was a wonder how he went from being asleep to talking like that in a matter of a few minutes, but apparently, he managed to do that.
Meanwhile, I walked behind them next to Perrie, who still seemed pretty caught up with her phone, her face practically buried in the screen. I tried not to look at the two men in front of me, how they got along so well and always had done, but it was hard, especially when I didn't have Perrie to distract me. To be honest, I didn't know what Harry saw in him even as a friend (I had asked him that countless times in the past as well), but then again, Nick wasn't treating him like he treated me, so maybe that was why he saw something else in his persona.
It turned out the place was almost empty, the only people there being the staff and two customers. The staff's faces seemed to light up when we entered, the way their lips curled upward. They had probably never had so many people entering the place simultaneously, and probably not famous people at that either.
The second we had all ordered, we sat down at the table they had created by pushing at least four smaller ones together. Harry and Nick ended up in front of me and Perrie, just like that time at the Italian restaurant a couple of days ago.
It wasn't until then I noticed that Harry was still wearing those Ray-Bans that he had been wearing since we left the hotel this noon. It made my skin crawl for some reason, and part of that was probably due to my previous thoughts about him. It was disrespectful, and he shouldn't get away with it just because he was the person he was. "Are you seriously going to wear sunglasses while we're eating?"
Harry seemed to be in a deep conversation with Nick, but his face snapped to me the second he heard my voice. "Not only are you wearing them on a cloudy ass day, but you're going to wear them inside as well?"
It took a few seconds until he reacted, and when he did, he pushed the sunglasses down his nose just a bit so that his eyes could be seen before moving them back up again. "I don't see how it's any of your business that I'm wearing sunglasses," he scoffed.
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head in disbelief. "It's not. It's just about showing respect to everyone around you."
With that said, I turned away from him, engaging myself in a conversation with the man next to me. I could feel Harry's gaze on the side of my face for a little while before he looked away, and even though I couldn't see his eyes, I knew that he was making a face of carelessness. Of course he didn't care. And why would he ever listen to me out of all people?
I knew that we hadn't been exactly quiet, but it didn't seem like anyone was about to say anything about our fight anyway. Most of the people just continued the conversations they were already in, and some just looked our way to avert their gazes as soon as we stopped talking. I was glad that no one had anything to say about it because I didn't want us to get any attention.
When our food arrived, Harry was still wearing the Ray-Bans, and I figured I probably shouldn't care as much as I did. No one else seemed to mind, so why did I?
On another note, Perrie seemed to come back to reality when the food arrived, placing her phone on the table before digging into her food.
"Who were you talking to?" I couldn't help but ask. I was curious.
She shrugged her shoulders. "It's just the girls. They're wondering how things are going," she explained.
A smile formed on my lips as I nodded. "And what's your answer to that?"
She shrugged, an evident smile forming on her lips too. "Everything is great except for the fact that the ex-couple is fighting all the time."
My mouth fell open, my chin almost hitting the bottom of my neck.
"I'm just kidding," she laughed. "Jesus, you should have seen your face."
I pursed my lips, looking away from her for a second. "It's not funny. None of this is funny," I huffed.
She tilted her to the side, pressing her lips together. "I told them that everything is great, that I'm happy I'm doing this. You guys make this journey amazing, and I don't really care that you and Harry don't get along. I'd say it's actually worse between you and Nick because you can tell that you and Harry still secretly care for each other. You and Nick just don't get along, simple as that."
I let out a snort, crossing my arms over my chest while looking over at the curly-haired man who was currently laughing at something Nick just said. "I don't care about him. He's just an inconsiderate asshole."
"Yeah," she said. "That's why you keep an eye on him all the time."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "I'm not having this conversation with you right now. I'm glad that you're enjoying my company, though. I'm enjoying yours too."
We both ate in silence after that. I could tell she wasn't mad at me, but she wasn't exactly happy with me either. I knew she wanted me to tell her about what happened with Harry, just like Lottie wanted me to tell her about what happened, but there was nothing to say. The past was the past.
When we were all finished eating, we exited the restaurant. On my way out, I was surprisingly accompanied by Logan. I hadn't seen him since the day of the last show, and it was only briefly. I knew that he was always around somewhere, though. I just hadn't acknowledged him, I assumed.
"I couldn't help but notice the way you and Harry fought earlier. You two don't really get along, do you?" He questioned, looking at the side of my face curiously.
My face turned into a scowl. "Uhh, no. Not really."
Why was it that everyone suddenly wanted to talk about Harry? Wasn't it enough that my mind was already occupied with him? Did I need more people to remind me of the man?
"Weren't you two quite close back in the days, though?" He asked, making me almost cringe in uncomfortableness. At least he didn't know we had been in a couple, but I would prefer if he just dropped the topic.
"Yeah, we were... when we first got to know each other..." I trailed off, grimacing.
And the next five years after that...
He nodded, seeming to understand that I wasn't very comfortable talking about the topic. "It must be quite uncomfortable then, doing all this with someone you've spent a lot of time with in the past and now don't really get along with. I don't think I could ever do that."
I turned to meet his gaze momentarily. "I don't exactly recommend it," I told him, making him let out a light chuckle.
"I won't add it to my to-do list then," he joked, his brown eyes twinkling.
A faint smile formed on my lips as I shook my head. We arrived at the cars then, where Logan had to leave to get into the Range Rover he was going with while I hopped into the one where Patrick, Nick, Harry and Perrie were already sitting, waiting for me to get inside.
The second I closed the door, I noticed that there was tension in the air. I didn't know where exactly it came from, but it was hovering like a cloud above us. "So, what music should we listen to now that you're all awake?" Patrick asked, breaking the silence.
Nick decided to connect his phone to the Bluetooth in the car before anyone could open their mouth. I didn't really mind, though. I just wanted to get to Birmingham as quickly as possible because right now, this day was like one of those grey, moody Sundays that people just wanted to pass by.
"When you feel your love's been taken. When you know there's something missing. In the dark, we're barely hangin' on..."
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I just want to clarify that I know Harry isn't like this in real life, even if I'm mentioning the "untouchable image" that is kind of a thing (the way he isn't on social media anymore). We all know how genuine he is and that he would never act that way in real life.
I can't believe the last chapter hit 100 votes! That's amazing! Thank you so much x
This chapter has been edited by @butterflies151 xx
Pauline .xx