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*
Zain
"Her brain had been deprived of oxygen for a little too long, which is why she has still not regained consciousness." The doctor told me.
We were outside the private ward where Tara was being looked at, and I had practically being pulling my hair out with worry as I'd waited for the doctor to come out.
"Will she be okay?" I asked, fearing the answer.
"She may be suffering from trauma, quite possibly." He said. "However, we won't be truly able to tell how this incident has affected her until she's up."
Lamisa Bhabi had heard Tara scream my name and had looked out of the window to see her falling into the pool. Bhabi had ended up pulling her out, but didn't know how to perform CPR. Allah saved Tara because the paramedics had managed to reach on time, after Bhabi had called 999 freaking out.
Tara feared drowning, and she almost drowned today.
I wish I had been there.
After the doctor excused himself, I paced the area, running my hands through my hair. Ya Allah, please let Tara be okay.
"Zain?" Bhai walked towards me, holding a bottle of water. "Drink up."
Just looking at water made me feel sick after the incident with Tara. "I don't want to..."
"Come on, drink up. We don't want you collapsing and ending up in the hospital as well, do we?" He tried to keep his tone light-hearted, but wasn't very successful.
I looked at him. "Drop the act, Bhai."
"Excuse me?" He looked confused.
"After what you and Bhabi did, I really don't need sympathy from you." I don't know why I snapped, but I just couldn't hold it in any longer. "Bhabi just saved my wife's life, and so I can't say anything against her, but you, you hurt your own parents, so drop this fake concern for me and my wife."
"Zain, I don't think I did anything unfair." He spoke quietly. "They weren't going to live here anyway, and you and Tara didn't need that huge home."
"It's not about the size!" My voice rose. "Even if it was a one-bedroom hut, it would still be valuable because Dad worked hard for it!"
He looked like he was trying to calm himself down.
"I really don't want to discuss this when Tara's fighting for her life." I glared at him. "It's best if you just leave, please."
"Zain..."
"Bhai, please. For my sanity's sake, just go!"
I'd never spoken to him like that. He'd always been the big brother who I'd hidden behind to get out of trouble from my parents. He had defended me, even when I made mistakes. He had always stood up for me, and now I was speaking to him like that.
But our parents had left for Lahore devastated, and the worry for Tara was getting to me as well.
Bhai set the bottle of water down on the plastic chair nearby. "Drink this. For Tara's sake, if nobody else's." He then shoved his hands in the pockets of his light jacket and headed out.
I tried not to feel guilty, and eventually, my worry for Tara took over again, and I sank down into another empty chair, resting my head in my hands.
****
Tara
Memories flashed through my head, but they were like shards of broken glass. I could see bits and pieces of my past, but not the complete picture.
The most prominent memory was of when I almost drowned as a child. That one incident had left me with a lifetime of fear, and this second incident had seemingly shaken me to the core, shattering my confidence, and leaving me feeling cold and vulnerable.
As I drifted back slowly to the earth, I felt like I had just returned from a ghostly plane, a deserted and dark place between life and death. It felt weird to wake up to the sounds of beeping, low chatter, and the smell of hospital.
I woke up to the sight of a cleaning staff scrubbing the table beside me, making sure everything was clean and sanitised to perfection. She had fair skin, with stray blonde curls curtaining her face and blue eyes. She casually glanced over, and her eyes widened as she saw me awake. "I will get the doctor."
"Sana?" I whispered, confused, just noticing the blue eyes. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry, you're mistaken." She shook her head and headed out quickly.
A few minutes passed by and I lay there in the hospital bed, feeling trapped within my own body. Dim daylight was coming in through the window, and judging by it, I felt like it was evening, around five or six.
The doctor entered the room then, along with a younger guy, also dressed in scrubs.
"Hi, Mrs Zain." The senior doctor greeted me warmly. "I'm Dr Philips, and this is a medical student, Theo. How are you feeling today?"
My instinct was to answer sarcastically: 'I'm in a hospital. What do you think?', but that would just be rude of me. The doctor wasn't just making casual conversation, he literally wanted to know how I was feeling. It was bloody common sense. "C-Confused."
"How so?" Dr Philips asked, writing away at his clipboard.
"I can't explain." I replied, my voice low and unrecognisable. I felt like I was listening to someone else's conversation.
"Any pain, particularly in the head? Any nausea, or any other concerning issues, apart from the confusion?"
I shook my head.
"Okay, well, your brain suffered some trauma caused by the deprivation of oxygen." He explained as he began to check my vitals. I began to feel like a test dummy as he was explaining everything to the medical student as well. "Confusion and paranoia are possible side effects. I'm not saying that you will definitely suffer from these symptoms, but there are high chances. You will recover from these shortly, as your brain recovers from the trauma at its own pace. I'll be advising your husband to not let you be alone for long periods of time until then."*
*I've mentioned before, I'm not a medical student or anywhere near the field, so forgive me for any inaccuracies in medical advice. However, I do try and do my research, and try to write things that make sense, whether medical science agrees with it or not.
"Can I go home?" I asked. "I want to go home."
"We're just going to need some further scans, observed by senior neurologists, and we'll let you know then." The doctor replied.
He made no promises. I might have to stay in the hospital for a while. Ya Allah!
"Can I see my husband?" I whispered.
"He's not out there at the moment, but as soon as he returns, the nurse will let him know." The doctor said.
If he wasn't out there, where was he?!
****
I patiently waited for Zain to come.
When he did, I was just lying in the raised up bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Hey there, Trouble." His soft voice made me turn and seeing him made something behind my eyes burst, because they were suddenly leaking endless tears.
"Zain...where have you been?!" I asked, almost angrily.
"I went to the mosque to pray and requested the Imam to have a special dua made during Jammat for your quick recovery." He came by to stand beside me, looking at me almost cautiously.
*Jammat is when people pray together in congregation, especially in the mosque.
"You prayed for me?" I was touched.
"I always pray for you." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. He smelled of hand sanitiser and coffee, a weird mixture, but just feeling him near me put my mind at some ease. The confused, jumbled mess that was in my brain was starting to calm down and untangle itself seeing him close to me.
"Zain..." I whispered. As he straightened up, I looked up at him, wide eyed. "I want to go home."
"We will soon." He reassured me. "The doctors just need to have some scans done, and then you'll be free to go."
"I feel so vulnerable and pathetic." I muttered, playing with the thin hospital blanket that was covering me. "Don't fall out of love me with because of this."
"I will never fall out of love with you, Tara. In Sha Allah."
****
I ended up staying another night, even after the scans were done, because the neurologists didn't want to take any chances. They wanted to monitor my brain activity or whatever.
Zain stayed with me throughout. He fell asleep on the hard plastic chair that rested on one side of the room, using his light jacket as a pillow. At one point during the night, I cried out in distress after a nightmare that I couldn't remember, and he was immediately by my side, holding me and reassuring me.
"Your parents were in the hospital almost the whole day yesterday." Zain told me as he drove me home the next morning. "They had to leave when the visiting hours ended."
I hadn't mean allowed any visitors apart from Zain, not even my parents. I guess my brain was really that sensitive right now that even the doctors were concerned. I didn't know whether it was actually a physical thing with the brain, or whether they were concerned about my mental health, but since neurologists were present, I was thinking it was the former. I was recommended to a good counsellor, though, so maybe they were concerned about my mental health as well.
"Do you want to go and stay with your parents for a while?" Zain looked at me quickly, before turning his attention back to the road.
I shook my head. "No. I'd rather just go home."
How funny was this? A few months ago, my parents' house was home, and now the only place that I considered home was where Zain was.
As we got home, Talha Bhai and Lamisa Bhai stood at the front and greeted me warmly. Apart from 'Assalam Alaikum', Zain ignored them and continued leading me inside. As we headed towards the stairs, I noticed cardboard boxes dotted around the hallway and in the living room. Clearly, they were preparing for the move.
"Zain..." I began to ask him about it.
"Not now, Tara." His arm wrapped protectively around me, he took me upstairs to our suite. As we entered and headed towards the room, I immediately spotted the unexpected object on our bed.
It was a duck soft toy!
I immediately burst out laughing when I saw it. "Zain, you're really something."
I probably had tough days ahead of me, because of the dark emotions that were whirling around inside me, but as long as Zain was there with me, I knew that I would be able to recover soon, In Sha Allah.
He grinned. "How do you like this random surprise?"
"When did you...?"
"Well, I came home yesterday for a shower, and stopped at a supermarket for some necessities, and I saw this there." He explained as we approached the bed.
I picked the duck up and hugged it to my chest. It was adorable, and weirdly comforting. "I'm going to name it Sir Quackers."
This time he laughed, surprised. "Sir Quackers?! That was some seriously quick thinking, Trouble."
"Never underestimate my thinking abilities, Zain."
"I would never underestimate you in any way." He gently took the duck from my arms, before pulling me into an embrace. "I love you, and I'll never let go of an opportunity to let you know that."
"I love you too." I snuggled up against him. It was good to be back home.
I hated hospitals. It was horrible being in a place with so much sickness, disease and death. I know, it sounds terrible, but every time I'm in a hospital, especially at night, I can't help thinking of the morgue on the basement level and it sends chills down my spine.
I know it's a place of healing, and where some of the greatest heroes of our society work, but still...I'd rather not be there. But on the other hand, human bodies are not machines, and hospitals are necessary for survival...literally.
I can't believe I was thinking about the pros and cons of hospitals as I was embracing my husband. Clearly, my brain was working as normal.
"Zain?"
"Hmm?"
"Where will we go now?" I asked, worriedly.
"You don't need to worry about it." He kissed the top of my head. "I promise, I'll always take care of you."
"I'm not worried, with you around. But it's a legit question. Have you decided anything?"
"I have started looking for places, but in a rush, it's very difficult." He sighed. "Bhai has screwed us over."
"Life's too short to resent your family, Zain." I tilted my head back and looked up at him. "We didn't need such a big place anyway. We'll be happy together wherever we go, In Sha Allah."
"In Sha Allah!" He muttered before leaning down and pressing his lips against mine.
It was our first proper kiss since I'd come back to the land of the living, and I could feel Zain's fear of almost losing me, as well as his relief of my return, in that kiss. It's amazing how a husband and wife don't even need verbal communication to understand each other's feelings. I clung onto his back, trying to pull him as close as possible. We were locked in a passionate kiss for a long time, both happy to be with each other again.
I was starting to feel a little tired, which the doctors had said might happen for a while. I pulled away from him, reluctantly, breathing hard. "I need to sleep."
"You okay?"
"Yeah, just worn out." I smiled weakly at him, trying to reassure him.
He looked worried as I headed into the bathroom to wash up.
****
I woke up after a long nap, and the room was mostly dark, and it seemed to be just after sunset. I was alone in the room, which freaked me out a little. "Zain?"
There was no reply, and my heart began to pound harder in my chest as I suddenly craved for light. As I began to reach towards the bedside table to turn the lamp on, a low growl of thunder outside caught my attention.
I got up from the bed and walked over to the window. Pushing the curtain aside, I peeked through the blinds. We had both a curtain and blinds because I preferred to sleep in complete darkness...at least I used to.
Thick clouds were gathering outside, promising rain. Despite the clouds, the orangish glow of the setting sun caused an almost creepy apocalyptic appearance. I uttered Ayat-ul-Kursi under my breath as I was feeling a little scared.
"Tara?"
I screamed like I was being murdered and whirled around as the lights came on.
Zain looked startled at my reaction as he stood at the entrance of our suite. "What the hell, Tara?" He strode over to me as I sank down to the ground, my knees giving way underneath me. "You alright?"
I was trembling and in tears and I shook my head.
He lifted me up into his arms and carried me to bed, before gently setting me down on it.
"Don't leave me, Zain." I whispered. "Don't leave me alone."
I had no idea what was wrong with me, but the idea of being alone made me want to scream and cry.
"I'm right here, Tara." He lay down beside me and pulled me to himself, holding me tightly. "I won't leave you alone. You're safe. I'll be by your side for the rest of my life, In Sha Allah."
"You won't leave me for Sana?" I had no idea why I'd asked him that, since I trusted him completely. But my brain was raising weird questions inside my head ever since I woke up.
Would Zain leave me for Sana? Would he get tired of me? Would I be left alone in this world? What would happen if everyone decided to abandon me? What would happen if everyone got sick and tired of my overconfident attitude? What if the Aunties had been right all along?!
The brain, at the end of the day, is a part of the human body and can suffer from trauma as well. My poor mind was just struggling to recover and was acting weirdly in the recovery process. I just needed to give it time to settle down and realise that I was safe and protected with Zain.
"I wouldn't leave you for anything or anyone in the universe." He kissed my forehead. "I'm so much in love with you, Tara, that a lifetime won't be enough to express it."
"Kiss me." I told him, quietly.
And he did. He leaned down and kissed me softly and slowly, a kiss of true love rather than lust.
When we'd first got married, I'd never thought that this day would come, a day when I considered Zain my everything: my life, my world, my protector and my biggest support.
When you go through an incident like this, having someone around you to support you is very important, and I thanked Allah repeatedly that Zain was that support for me.
He kissed me and held me until I calmed down. "Okay, I'm going to leave the light on, and I'll go down and get you something to eat, okay? You haven't eaten all day."
"Zain, don't..."
"I'll be as quick as I can be, okay?" He got up. "Shall I turn the TV on?"
"Yes, please."
He grabbed the remote and changed the channel to Hum TV. It was meant to be a drama channel, but I found it hilarious, all those clichés and overdramatic situations.
"Pakistani dramas used to have quality." I began my complaints as he headed towards the door, laughing.
****
Zain
As I came down the stairs, Bhai met me in the foyer. "Zain, we should talk."
"No, I'm good. Thanks." I began to walk past him.
"Why are you throwing a tantrum over the fact that I want to prioritise my family?"
"Our parents are your family too." I spun around to face him. "What happened to your righteous lectures now?"
"I'm not doing anything unfair with them, Zain! They moved to Pakistan! They always wanted that."
"They moved earlier because of you and Bhabi!" I snapped. "They overheard your loud conversation the day Tara's parents were over."
He looked stunned. "What?"
"Are you that thick?!" I couldn't control myself. "You guys were yelling loud enough for the neighbourhood to hear, and you didn't think Mum and Dad would? You knew they were still inside the house!"
He was in shock.
"They left earlier than planned because of that." I shook my head. "You know what? Keep all of the money that you receive for this house, as this house is yours anyway. Tara and I will manage on our own just fine."
"Zain, bro, don't be like that..." He looked truly upset. "We're brothers and..."
"I have to much on my plate right now, so I don't need this as well." I walked past him into the kitchen. "Enjoy your life with your family. I genuinely wish you all the best, Bhai." I added without turning around or stopping.
I had to move out of this house with Tara as soon as possible, maybe by the end of this week.
Enough was enough.
****
Hey, guys! I know that this chapter was kind of lame. I was feeling uninspired.
I was delayed in writing this because of work. I went back after almost three weeks and I was exhausted, and this is probably why I was feeling so uninspired.
I wanted to mention the affects of trauma on a person, and the importance of having someone around to support you. Tara and Zain will only get stronger from here.
Would the brothers' relationship get worse? This chapter shows cracks appearing...
Do you blame Talha? Or is Zain being too unreasonable?
Thoughts and comments?
Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote.
****