Katsuki was scared.
His heart was thudding and he was squirming in Zuzu's arms. The older male held him in his strong arms in an attempt to calm Katsuki down.
But it wasn't working.
The devil was in the driver's seat, just looking at her phone as if nothing was wrong
Izuku was talking to Katsuki but he couldn't process it. All he could hear was his own heart thudding in his ears.
Zuzu couldn't leave him alone.
He just couldn't.
This woman was crazy.
Katsuki could see it in her eyes.
She looked at him like she wanted him to be tortured.
To rip his limbs from his very body piece by piece.
To laugh at him as he sobbed and sobbed.
Speaking of sobbing, tears were threatening to escape his eyes.
And honestly, Katsuki didn't care if he had to kick and scream and sob and hit, he would not let Izuku leave him.
He began to kick his little legs, and his tears were falling freely now, and he started to shake as Izuku shoved him in the car seat.
He was grabbing at everything and anything, he had yanked Izuku's hair and punched and screeched.
Why couldn't Izuku understand?
Couldn't he see this woman was evil?
Couldn't Izuku see the look she gave Katsuki?
Couldn't Izuku see that he was frightened?
That he was practically quivering with anxiety at the thought of being left with this, this, freak.
Couldn't Izuku see that his Kacchan needed saving?
He felt like the walls were closing in on him as Izuku shut the car door and stepped back on the sidewalk.
Katsuki could only beat his fists on the sides of his car seat and kick his legs furiously and scream.
Maybe if he screamed loud enough her ears would bleed.
Then he could unstrap himself and run far far away.
Somewhere were no monsters would find him ever.
Somewhere he could be himself.
Somewhere his mother could never go.
Somewhere where he could just take a breath. Just relax for a moment.
Katsuki was tired.
Tired of running.
Tired of his mother.
Tired of the muddled thoughts.
Tired of just existing.
He was tired.
Katsuki slowly stopped kicking and screaming.
He lowered his arms and let them fall limply to his sides.
Katsuki looked out the tinted window at Izuku.
Katsuki looked at Izuku broken-hearted and undeniably exhaustedly.
Katsuki looked at Izuku in defeat.
The defeat was something that Katsuki Bakugou never did.
Katsuki Bakugou would never stop fighting.
He would never stop battling and raging and refusing to die out of pure and utter stubbornness.
But there was one detail that was forgotten.
This wasn't Bakugou Katsuki.
This was Kacchan.
The scared, abused, tired little kid.
The same one who was slowly being driven away from his last place of hope.
Kacchan was tired.
And he knew that he wouldn't come back.
And he was right.
Toddler Bakugou Katsuki would not be coming back to Izuku.
Not now,
Not ever.
___________
**********
Izuku was confused. Something was off.
Ochako's smile didn't reach her eyes and he'd never seen Katsuki act that way, And there was something about the way that Kacchan screamed that made his blood run cold.
It was so terrifying.
But Kacchan had nothing to fear, no one was gonna hurt him. Plus Kacchan had Ochako, and she wouldn't let anyone hurt Kacchan.
But maybe he should just take Kacchan instead.
Izuku should just go after the car and take him himself.
Ochako wouldn't mind, and it wouldn't take that long, plus he needed to give something to his mother and pick up some stuff from Auntie.
But on the other hand, he had school which he was falling behind.
Kacchan would be fine.
And with that Izuku simply shrugged as if he was shaking off his anxiety and walked back into UA and headed towards English.
He would go and visit Auntie later.
___________
**********
Katsuki was pissed off.
Usually, he stayed in a constant state of miffed.
But now he was beyond pissed off.
He was walking down the street like a normal fucking person, listening to classical fucking music to calm his fucking nerves because he just got off a call with his psycho old hag.
He was minding his fucking business like he wished she had and was just crossing the road when some random motherfucker crashes into him.
He would have normally just scowled and kept walking, but now he was even more pissed.
He whipped around to accuse the person of being a clumsy, stupid, Karen Smith wannabe extra when the man looked at him.
The man's eyes glowed red for a moment before walking away.
When Katsuki made eye contact with the man his words died on his tongue, and he stood there dumbly before huffing and walking away, trying to ignore the uncomfortable churn of his stomach.
When Katsuki got back to the stupid Heights Alliance he was immediately ruthlessly, vicously attacked.
Not only had Kaminari leaped on his back, but the skinny bitch also had the nerve to tease him on his music choices.
Katsuki said some halfhearted insult before stalking back to his room, trying to calm down his jumping nerves.
When he was walking and the world tilted sideways, he figured it was time to go to bed or something.
If Katsuki had known that when he fell asleep he would be fucking deleted from existence he would have pulled an all-nighter.
As soon as he closed his eyes, his world had become muddy and he felt strangely torn.
It was a bit like someone had picked and chose what would run through his mind, so nothing was making any sense at all.
And when he opened his eyes he was in some sort of white fucking universe.
It was endless, with no walls and no floor, but somehow he could stand and walk.
He couldn't use his quirk, and there was literally nothing anywhere.
No people.
No creatures.
No end.
And it was quiet.
An unnerving quiet, the type that happens to a protagonist before everything falls apart.
And he was lonely.
He hated it.
He hadn't felt lonely in so long, he almost forgot what it felt like.
That gnawing feeling that creeps up on you, seizes your mind and refuses to let go. Feeding on your worries and growing the anxiety and fear to a point where he couldn't feel anything other than it. It was a hollow feeling, and it eats him up from the inside until it's full and just sits there. It's there until he almost forgets about it, gets used to the hollow pit of just emptiness.
This place was empty.
And so was he.
He didn't know what time it was, nothing ever changed there.
And he just walked.
He couldn't stop walking.
His legs felt like they were going to fall off bit by bit and all he could do was walk.
He lost the feeling of them after a while, just dragging them.
But what was most strange was the fact that he couldn't feel it all.
He couldn't feel his arms or his hands.
The warm reminder in his hands was all but gone.
He was just walking.
And he just felt so lost.
Literally and figuratively.,
He was lost in the white hell, and he was lost in his mind.
He was so lonely.
He always had someone.
Someone was almost always touching him.
Eiji slinging his arm around his shoulders, or Denki demanding piggyback rides at random spontaneous times.
Ashido would give him hugs a lot and would park her ass in his lap as she owned it when they hung out.
Hanta would randomly back hug him, he used to be freaked out but he was so used to it he barely thought about it.
Katsuki had even gotten used to touching others.
Sometimes he would pet Dark Shadow when Tokoyami was stressed out.
And he would do Yao-Momo's hair and style it whenever she asked. He would even help her choose outfits for her and Jirou's dates.
He had sat with Hagukare as she talked about her confused feelings for a boy and a girl and gave the invisible woman a hug when she cried about how terrible she felt about her sexuality.
And Deku.
Deku Deku Deku.
Deku was his light.
For a while, he was Katsuki's only reason left for living.
Deku was constant.
From as far back as he could remember, he remembered Deku.
For every important part of his life, he associated it with Deku.
Deku.
He was awkward, clumsy, reckless, and a bit odd. And Katsuki wouldn't have it any other way.
Now that Katsuki was older and he could think about his emotions without a breakdown or running away, he knew that he had it real bad for Deku.
And now Deku is gone.
Or maybe it was the other way around.
Either way, Katsuki was lost, exhausted, lonely, Deku-less, and beyond pissed.
He was so mad he felt fucking this whole fucking world without rest until not a spot remained without scorch marks.
But he couldn't, so he fumed.
If fumed was the right word.
He could feel his anger building up so high without a release that he was having trouble seeing straight.
He could feel his anger levels and blood pressure rising with every agonizing step.
He hadn't felt this type of anger since the first year when he took that hit for stupid Deku and was bedridden and forced into therapy for months.
He almost lost his mind from that.
And he was gonna lose his mind in here.
But he wasn't gonna stay in this hell for much longer. He could almost feel a little nudge in his gut that this white hell was gonna change and fuck with his mind.
But he was gonna get out.
And when he got his hands on that stupid extra they better pray to god Deku or Eiji is there to calm him down.
Because someone was gonna die soon.
And it sure as fuck wasn't gonna be him.
Katsuki woke up early again. He had a nightmare and was scared.
Tonight his nightmare had blurry people in it.
A man with a black coat surrounded him with fire and he couldn't breathe. He wasn't himself, or maybe he was.
He had to act brave, otherwise, the monsters and the demons and his mother and the nightmares would consume him.
At least that's what he felt like in the dream.
When he woke up he couldn't find his bunny.
He called out for his papa but he wasn't there.
So he toddled out of the room and raced down the hall to his Nii-san's room.
Katsuki was sweating and scared, and nii-san was always so nice and cool, so Katsuki curled into his side.
Katsuki buried his face in Kaito's shirt and let the forest scent wash over him.
When Katsuki was little he had nightmares.
Sometimes they would be about small things, like the boy across the street who chased him with a stick when their mother left the room.
Sometimes it was about giant teddy bears chasing him through Japan.
So he didn't get any teddy bears. He hated them. One day while he's sleeping, the toy bear could come alive and slash him with its big claws.
Or it could go downstairs and take one of his mommies broken wine bottles and then throw one at him as she would.
Or it could scream at him like his mommy would, which would be even more terrifying than usual.
A bear with his mother's voice swaying and screaming at him.
Absolutely terrifying.
So he didn't have any teddy bears.
But the boy loved contact.
He loved it when his father would hug him or kiss his head when they spent time together. He loved hugging the shy boy next door with green hair. He loved when Nii-san would come home and would hug him and adore him. He loved it when on the rare occasions his real mommy is home she'd pat him on the head.
So his Nii-san got him a solution, instead of a teddy bear, he'd have a stuffed bunny. And nii-san said when he was older and his mommy was all better, they would get him a kitty.
A real live kitty!
Katsuki had a plan.
He would name the kitten "Mittens" because it rhymed, and he would hug the kitty when his mom yelled at his daddy.
The kitty would sleep on his bed and would nuzzle up to him when he got scared.
The kitty would play with him when he was sad at night.
The kitty would stay with him until he was better too.
But until he got Mittens his stuffed bunny would have to do. His stuffed bunny was dark green and was handmade by his daddy.
His bunny was nice too, but the bunny wasn't alive.
So he loved the next best thing, his playmate Zuzu.
He had freckles all over his face and big green eyes and curly green hair, kind of like his bunny. Deku kind of sounded like Zuzu's name, so that's what he named his bunny.
Since Zuzu was like his bunny, he should be loved like his bunny.
So Katsuki would hug Zuzu and hold his hand. He would kiss Zuzu on the cheek and rub his back when he cried.
His Zuzu was like Katsuki too.
Zuzu was hurting.
His papa had left his mommy for some lady in America.
His Zuzu would cry a lot because he was hurt. But not like the boo-boo type of hurt. The hurt that clenched your heart and made your stomach churn. And the monsters under the bed and in the closet would eat you alive if you were too loud.
Katsuki knew what it felt like because he was hurting too.
And if they were both going to hurt.
If their lives would be full of flying beer bottles and fists and monster sneak attacks, and hateful parents.
Then they would brace it together.
They would stand hand in hand and stagger forward, past the hurt and the pain until they saw the light.
They would protect each other.
No matter what happened.
If they drifted apart.
If they were mean to each other.
If they became part of the pain.
They would protect each other.
No matter what.
Katsuki would watch his Izuku, and his Izuku would watch him.
Because they loved each other.
And that's what love does.
Protects.