Warning: Offensive humor is ahead since you're conversing with other Gen Z youngsters!
♪───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ────♪
"You fool!" (F/n) shouts at your friend, Cole, "Your attempt to intimidate me has only made me more horny!"
What the fuck.
"I'm not a psychologist," Cole speaks up, "But you're fucked up."
"Asshole! If you really are my friend, you'll let me pee on you," (F/n) adds.
Okay, seriously. What the fuck.
"(Y/n), we're here. What now?" Cole's voice breaks you out of your train if thought.
Huh?
You look around and finally get your bearings.
Right. You, (F/n), and Cole were planning on hanging out at Peter Piper Pizza for your 15th birthday today. You three just arrived and they're waiting for your orders, because even though it's your birthday, you're paying for it.
"Gomen'nasai. Hidoi yume o mita yōna ki ga shimasu." You mumble as you rub your eyes with your palms.
"What the fuck did you just say?" (F/n) blinks at your words.
"Dude, I think she was speaking Chinese," Cole informs.
"No, you dumb-ass!" (F/n) scoffs before lightly hitting Cole's chest, "That was Vietnamese!"
"You guys are both stupid and racist. It's Japanese." You cut in.
"You're such a weeb."
"Since when did you know Japanese?" Cole laughs.
You went to reply, but you didn't know how to answer that. When did you learn Japanese?
"Been watching too much anime," You decide to say.
"Weeb!" (F/n) teases.
"But what did you say?" Cole asks.
"Oh, I was-I just remembered what I dreamed about this morning."
"Yeah? What was it about?" (F/n) hums in interest.
"Ehh, I don't—wanna talk about it."
"What if Martin Luther King Jr. had said that?" (F/n) huffs before impersonating said man, "I had a dream... but I don't wanna talk about it."
You cover your face as you laugh, "You're fucked up!"
"Hey, I think I nailed that impression!"
Cole nods in agreement, "Yep! Just like Jesus Christ, you nailed it."
"Oh my Goshh," You groan, "You guys are both going to Hell!"
"Want me to say hi to your mom when I'm there?" (F/n) teases.
"Oh ha-ha!" You give a genuine laugh after, "But no, she might show you embarrassing pictures and I know I'll never live it down."
"Come on girls!" Cole sighs as he pushes you and (F/n) forward, "We can bitch about Hell after we go inside it."
——
"My name is Pete, and I like feet. Everytime I see them, I beat my meat." (F/n) sings as you all wait in line to order.
"Stay one million feet away from me," Cole scrunches up his nose.
"ONE MILLION FEET!!" (F/n) moans dramatically into Cole's ear.
"I'm starting to wish I invited someone else," You rub your temple, noticing people staring at you three.
"Touch luck, now go. We're next." (F/n) laughs as he lightly pushes your shoulders.
You stumble and catch yourself on the counter.
"GEE THANKS!" You look back then kick your leg back and hit (F/n) in the shins.
"What can I do for you?" The employee asks.
You look back in front of you and your eyes widen: "Sekido?!"
Wait, you don't know anyone named Sekido. Why does he look so familiar though?
[Look at your arm!]
"You know him?" Cole moves to your right, "Ask him if we can get a family discount!"
"No! Shut up! I don't know him!" You hiss.
The man with black hair frowns, "What? Are you too embarrassed to admit we know each other, (Y/n)?"
[Your left arm! Look at your left arm!]
"Okay, you two can duke it out later, I want a large drink, and we decided on 3 large pizzas. 1 pepperoni, 1 cheese, and 1 supreme. And I wanna try the Nutella donuts, I want 5," (F/n) moves to your left.
Sekido was about to yell, but he remembers that he was an 'employee' and enters the order in the cash register.
"Uh, got any nut allergies?" Sekido asks.
(F/n) grins as he speaks in an Scottish accent, "Aye cheers ladd! I'm planning suicide by donut."
"Great! And you?" Sekido looks at Cole.
Okay, that attitude was way too familiar.
[LOOK AT YOUR DAMN ARM!]
"Um, just a water cup." Cole smiles.
"Cool. That'll be $50."
"What?!" You gawk, "What happened to that family discount?! Wh-And I didn't even get to order, Sekido!"
"Tough shit." Sekido pulls up a small plastic box with the number 34, "Your number is 34. It's on the house."
Sekido reaches under the counter and pulls out a water cup and a large cup.
Cole frowns, "Well, can't you just give her a cup anyway since it's on the house?"
"Absolutely not. Go perish. (Y/n)," Sekido jerks his head to the left, "A word, please?"
Sekido leaves the register and tells another employee to go take his spot. Curious about the guy, you were about to follow, but there was a hand that held your arm.
You look back and see (F/n) give you a worried look, "Hey, do you really know each other?"
You can't help but feel bitter about those words.
"Yeah, I do. I was just being mean to him. And why do you care? You left me for dead, didn't you?" You spit, pulling your arm free.
"Damn, what'd you do to piss her off?" You hear Cole ask, but you ignore them both.
You walk to the side and see Sekido come out the door that leads to the kitchen. You furrow your eyebrows together and cross your arms. Sekido jogs over to you and looks you up and down.
"You're shorter than I remember, but that's probably because you're 15 in this memory." Sekido comments
"Who the fuck are you?"
"Damn, you don't beat around the bush, huh?" Sekido scratches his jaw, "Look, I'll give you the short version since we don't really have a lot of time."
You nod for him to continue.
"My name is Sekido, I'm a demon from the year 1914, from Japan. You're a Demon Slayer and-"
"-Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. A Demon Slayer? Like from the manga?" You scoff at him.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Sekido nods, "From Kimetsu no Yaiba. You're on the train with the other Demon Slayers right now and you're asleep. But you need to wake up!"
You frowned, "Anata wa shōki janai."
Sekido looks at you with a pointed gaze.
You widen your eyes, "What... did I just-"
"-Your Demon Slayer buddies were teaching you Japanese, that's how you know it. The weird one with the pig head taught you a lot of insults." Sekido explains, "But there's no time for a better explanation. Just look!"
Sekido grabs your left arm and points at the underside of your forearm. There was a spider lily mark, the color was bright blue, the size could be compared to a beer coaster.
Sekido brought you here. The mark is your bond to him. The more solid the color is, the more physically closer he is to you. Tanjiro found you in the woods. You became friends with him and the others. You have something weird going in with Tanjiro and Kyojuro.
Kyojuro-You're on the Infinite Train!
My name is (Y/n) (L/n) and I'm a Demon Slayer.
You shake your head, "Okay, but you're too short to be Sekido. And why am I just noticing your demonic features?"
"I don't know man, it's just a dream," Sekido then flips you off, "Also fuck you! I'm average!"
"Is that what you tell all the ladi-"
"-Jesus, I was in the neighborhood and I decided to drop by, only to see you getting attacked by demons so I decided to help and this is the thanks I get?"
"Wait, if I really am on the train, then there's someone here to destroy my Spiritual Core!" You say frantically, looking around to find a suspicious individual.
"I've been keeping the person at bay from finding your Spiritual Core. I'll be honest, if they even laid a hair on it, it would've shattered. So I'm using forced telepathy through you to make them hallucinate so they keep walking in circles."
"Oh, oka-Wait. My Spiritual Core-you said it would shatter if there's a fucking hair on it?! What does that mean?!" You pull at your hair.
"It means you're a depressed fuck, but we've been knew." Sekido rolls his eyes.
"Wha-I'm-I'm not depressed!" You balk, "You're just mad that-"
"-I have to go." Sekido cuts you off.
"What why?! Did I hurt your-"
"-No, it's not that dummy! That demon girl is using her Blood Demon Art. I have to go or it's trouble for us both! But I can't save both of us and distract them at once."
Before you get in another word, Sekido's body turns to mist and is gone.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" (F/n) shouts.
You turn around and see him and a few others are watching. You run at (F/n) and punch him right on the temple. (F/n) falls to the ground and is out cold.
"What the hell was that for?!" Cole shouts as he rushes to (F/n)'s aid.
"That's for leaving me for dead at a fucking warehouse! YOU LIP-LICKING SUCK FUC-"
——
"-GET UP!"
Tanjiro?
"No good. They aren't waking up! Rengoku-" Tanjiro shouts before he dodges out of the way from being cut by the girl.
You immediately shoot up from your seat, reaching under the seats across from you to pull out your Kama. You tug at the wrapping and let it fall to the ground.
"Don't get in the way! We can't have sweet dreams because you guys showed up!" The girl cries.
Another girl and a boy surround Tanjiro, they don't seem to notice you yet.
"What are you doing?! If you're awake, back us up as well!" The first girl shouts, looking past you, "I don't know about your tuberculosis or what not, but if you don't do your job properly, I'll tell that man and he won't let you dream anymore!"
"(Y/n)!" Tanjiro cries.
You look at Tanjiro before whipping your head around to see a boy standing behind you
"I'm sorry. I have to go and fight." Tanjiro speaks.
And in a blink of an eye, he hits the three kids surrounding him on the neck, knocking them out cold.
You didn't try to do the same for the boy behind you, since you knew he had no more ill intent after being in Tanjiro's consciousness.
Tanjiro jogs over to you, mindful of the body's he laid on the ground.
"(Y/n), are you okay? You were right! There's a Lower Moon One on this train!" Tanjiro rambles.
"Yeah, I'm fine." You reply.
You look back at your seat and take your backpack that had fallen to the ground. You haul it back on and wait for the next move.
"Are you alright?" Tanjiro looks behind you to ask the boy.
"...Thank you," The boy smiles, "Be careful."
Tanjiro grins, "Yes!"
"Nezuko! (Y/n)!" Tanjiro jerks his head for you two to follow him.
You look down next to you and finally notice Nezuko. You shake your head and follow Tanjiro to the end of the passenger cart. He opens the door and covers his nose in disgust.
"Guh! It really reeks! The demon's scent reached all the way here in this wind!" Tanjiro complains.
Okay, so now, Tanjiro is going to do some bad-ass parkour to get on top of the train...
Yeah, you can totally do it too! How hard can it be?
Tanjiro jumps up and swings his body back then forward and does a pull up. He kicked his legs back so his weight would follow.
Oh hell no-
He lands on top and looks at you: "(Y/n), come on!"
"HELL!! NO!!" You cross your arms into an X and shake your head.
You manage to make jokes even in the most dire times, huh? Tanjiro really admires that.
"Alright! Uh... Then you and Nezuko stay down there!!" He shouts over the wind, "Go wake everyone up!"
"Tanjiro!" You call, "The demon is the train!"
You give him a thumbs up at his confused face and went back inside the cart with Nezuko.
You didn't understand shit he told you, but you already knew what he wanted anyway. You might as well tell him what's up, even if he doesn't understand it right away, Tanjiro is smart enough to figure it out.
You and Nezuko rushed to Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Kyojuro. You stopped for a moment; you hold the Kama between your legs and pull back your left sleeve.
The mark's color was more solid than before in the dream, and larger too. How close is Sekido? Is he far enough that the others won't detect him?
You shake your head and pull your sleeve back down and take your Kama.
You need Kyojuro to wake up first. As insulting as it may sound, he's more of a valuable asset right now than Zenitsu and Inosuke. You're going to need his help the most once this train derails.
"Pst! Hey! Kyojuro!" Wait, why are you whispering?
"Hey!" You smack him upside the head, "Despierta!"
Nothing.
You scoff in irritation before feeling the hairs behind your neck rise up.
You turn around and swing your Kama in the air while holding down your octahedron. Your eyes widen at the sight of demon flesh being sliced by your Kama.
Holy shit! Did your instincts just save your ass?!
"OOOOOH UOOOOOHHHH!"
You yelp and turn to see it came from Inosuke. He jumps up and slices the roof of the passenger cart before landing on top.
"FOLLOW ME, MY MINIONS! UNGAAAAAHHHH! PIG ASSAULT! THAT IS THE WAY OF MASTER INOSUKE!"
You're going to act like that was normal.
"INOSUKEEEEEEE!" You want to laugh from hearing Tanjiro all the way over there, "PROTECT THOSE WHO'RE SLEEPING!! THIS WHOLE TRAIN TURNED INTO A DEMON!! CAN YOU HEAR ME!! THIS ENTIRE TRAIN IS A DEMON!!!"
Wait, this is happening all too fast, did Tanjiro already cut What's-His-Face's 'head'? Well, either way, Inosuke is probably having a field day of being right for once.
Inosuke catches on and starts to use his fifth form: Mad Cleave.
You notice in your peripheral vision that demon flesh was trying to consume Kyojuro. You didn't want to hurt him by accident since you're still shitty at fighting, but it was better than him getting eaten.
You take the chain by the center and swing your octahedron at the flesh. The flesh bursts and pulls back, so you take the opportunity to swing it again, this time it completely disappeared into the seat.
"Thunder Breathing, First form: Thunder Clap Flash Six Fold!"
You whip your head just in time to see Zenitsu save Nezuko. This was the first time you've seen Zenitsu fight, and you were really impressed!
How can he call himself such derogatory names?
Crap, Kyojuro needs to wake up now.
You look back at the Pillar and huff.
You reached back like a pimp, then slapped the hoe (Kyojuro), "Wake u-"
"-What-OW!"
"-OH MY GOSH! I AM SO SORRY!"
Of course.
Of course the moment you slap him, he wakes up.
Classic.
Kyojuro holds his cheek and looks up to see you looking guilty. However, your gaze doesn't stay on him any longer than that since you had to move out of the way of the demon flesh trying to capture you.
"Oh, I see! You were trying to wake me!" You hear Kyojuro over the clashing of swords and flesh
"It seems like things took a turn while I was having my nap! For sure! For sure!"
Soulja Boy?
"As a Pillar, I'm ashamed of myself!! If there's a hole," Kyojuro makes eye contact with you, then winks, "I wanna go into it!"
Talk about double entendre! But is that anything like a ménage-á-trois?
"Maybe later, my guy!" You respond as you slice at another lump of flesh.
"Hold on to something, my flame!" Kyojuro warns.
You wrap the chain around a pole to one of the seats just in time for Kyojuro to slash down at the train.
——————————————————————
1. "Gomen'nasai. Hidoi yume o mita yōna ki ga shimasu."
Sorry. I feel like I just had a bad dream.
2. "Anata wa shōki janai."
You're insane, please get help.
3. Despierta: Wake up