Writer's note:
I am taking a couple of creative liberties; this is not canon compliant for one. Also, I envisioned Henry Cavill as.. Henry well because I can.
*****************************
Mara was working on her stupid embroidery again, which she hated but she needed some much-needed distraction and had one through stacks of literature in the past week, so the option was either embroidery or taking a walk..
She wasn't keen on either if she was entirely honest. Lady Whistledown's leaflet had come out merely three days ago and already people were gossiping, clutching on each other, and pointing towards her, speaking in muffled voices, much to the dismay of her parents. They had kindly suggested that she was to stay in as much as possible.. so.. embroidery it was... She started working on the piece, a boring and generic rose in bloom, but her mind kept drifting off to Mr. Bridgerton and his proposal.
Mara had made her mind up. Her parents disagreed with her, but she was unwilling to change perspective. She knew it was not the best of decisions but for here there was no option. In two days, she would leave for Gloucester to live with her uncle Samuel, his wife Agatha and their swarm of children and act as their governess, aiding in education and childcare at least for the time being. It was not something she was looking forward to because the Miller kids were unruly and bad-mannered so Mara would have her work cut out for her. Yet still there was no other option, she could not possibly go forward with accepting Mr. Bridgerton's offer.
She might be many things, a spinster, plain looking and not the most affluent in comparison to her peers but Mara did have one thing: her pride. While she thought the gesture was kind and Vaillant there was no way she could say yes for several reasons.
The main reason being that they were both in love with someone else. She had done some research about him prior their first visit and had discovered that he was privy to rejecting one of the finest, the most beautiful of debutantes, which she had found peculiar. Here he could pick from the crème de la crème of wanting, stunning women but he refused them, and she wanted to know why.
A little digging though, via her new friend Emma, who knew everything and anything about London's privileged citizens had garnered information about Anthony and a certain opera singer named Sienna Rosso. Apparently they had a secret relationship, for an exceedingly long time and Anthony, at one point, DID intend to marry her BUT she had reminded him of their difference in status and broke things off. Mara also was informed by Emma that Mr. Bridgerton, still visited her performances in secret the odd time she did perform at the theatre.
So that day when the Bridgerton's came to see her Mara already had her mind up about him, had prejudice against him and acted rudely, which she scolded herself for now, since he had come up with the idea of saving her "honour". She even more scolded herself for judging him for being in love with someone else while Mara was still in love with Henry, even after knowing he preferred her cousin, had wed her cousin, and had laid with her cousin.
How foolish of her but she had not forgotten about him, could not and seeing him the other day made things so, so much worse.
She gave up on embroidery after the umpteenth wrong 'stitch" she put on the piece of cloth and instead focused on looking outside. The window she sat near to have a good view on her busy street and for a second she was lost in glancing at people going about their day, the carriages entering and leaving her street.
She was so lost in thoughts Mara did not notice the sound of feet, rapidly coming towards the drawing room and a second later the door flew open.
It was him..
And she was alone in the house for her parents and siblings had gone out to visit Mara's aunt from her mother's side and Mara had not wished to go with, the idiot she was.
She dropped her embroidery and got up, all the while staring at him in shock. He looked dishevelled and was breathing heavily and she could see a storm of emotions in those steel blue eyes she loved so much.
"Henry, what are you doing here?" she barely got out of her mouth, for it was as if she suddenly lost all capability of formulating a sentence.
He walked over towards her and stilled in front of her, a bit too close for comfort as it was a familiar proximity but this time it did not feel 'right'.
"Is it true? You are to marry the Viscount Bridgerton?", he demanded to know with a voice that was part angry, upset and desperate.
"I.. I" was the only thing Mara could say before he interrupted her anyway.
"So, after all we have been through you are just going to marry someone else. Just like that" he asked accusingly.
And that point Mara wondered if he knew how stupid he sounded for accusing her of doing something he had done. The sentence also implied that there was an issue of her not being loyal to him and it angered her immensely. She had not been the one that have given up on them, he had. Not only had he given up on them he had replaced her with a better version, had upgraded, without having any regards for her feelings.
"Or.. like how YOU proceeded to do, you mean?", she sarcastically stated, and his face dropped instantly, he looked down and then took a few steps back. There was a long silence between the once lovers, silences between them had always been few so it was a strange thing to experience for both.
"I.. I made a mistake.. I shouldn't have- ", he began with a trembling voice and she could see tears formulating in his eyes.
"Yes, but you did.." Mara said, trying to keep it all together. For now, she was succeeding but there was no indication her success would be long lasting especially since she took a few steps forward to her.
"I don't know what came over me.. I promised you we were to marry after I got back from the business trip father send me to in Milan and then.. You introduced me to Lauren and- "
"So, this is my fault?" she inquired, irritably.
"Of course not.. "he immediately responded.
"NONE of this is your fault but how could you forget so easily? We were going to start a life together, remember?", he asked her, overcome with emotion.
"I have not forgotten. I don't know what happened either, I don't understand... It felt like I didn't know you anymore.. The Henry I knew and loved my Henry. My Henry would not have- ", Mara started.
"I am still your Henry. Still or I can be again. I'll do whatever you want. Just say the word.", he interjected.
Mara shook her head again and by now went ahead and let her tears fall freely.
"It's too late. Don't you see? It is too late", she said dejected.
"No" and this time he disagreed with her by shaking his head.
"It is not too late.. I'll get an annulment and then you and I can- ", Henry wished to argue but did not get extremely far.
"Right.. and you would expect me to take you back even if you were free, as if nothing happened? You will be a father in a couple of months, Henry or have you forgotten about that?".
He did not answer, how could he so instead he just stared at her with compassion in his eyes.
She continued, barely, but she had to let him know. Had to let know what his deceit, this betrayal had done to her, she wouldn't have forgiven herself, EVER, if she had not done so.
"Do you know what you did? Do you? You broke my heart, not in two but.. a million pieces" she continued.
By now she had forfeited all sense of propriety for she was practically sobbing.
He was silent once more for a second but then.. Henry suddenly walked over, took her in his arms and both started to cry in each other's arms.
"Oh God, I am so sorry.. I am so sorry. Please forgive me", he repeated, while holding her tightly, as tight as he could possibly hold her.
A moment later, lost in embrace, they exchanged looks and before Mara knew it, he had bend down and kissed her.
The kiss was timid at first, felt like two former lovers getting to know each other again, but soon changed after he deepened it, and eventually let his tongue mingle with hers. He then guided his hands over her body, her sides were first in line, then her back before his hands slipped lower and slightly grazed at her bottom and he let his hands wander over them freely.
It was as if their bodies had been taken over by different people for they had never "gone" that far before, but it felt right.. It felt amazing. It felt lovely.
Or not?
Still kissing her, he guided Mara over to the sofa in the back of the room, the large one where they sat down briefly before he pushed her body back. He was now lying on top of her, touching her from her sides to the beginning of her legs, before "moving" upwards again. His kisses were feverish, unrelenting and he alternated by kissing her mouth and neck, completely overcome with lust.
She grasped at his shoulders, eager to feel him again after so many months, and trenched through his soft, black curls with her fingers and felt his lower body rising to her and gasped at the feeling. Henry was back at stroking her legs again but this time he tugged the fabric of her dress with and savoured the contact of her bare legs, entangled with him. He positioned himself differently so now he was nestled in between them tighter. With one hand he reached for her left breast, first grazing his fingers over it, and then starting to knead and applying a sturdy pressure. It was not long for they both moaned, loudly. With the other hand he started to travel downwards again, wishing to take this further, wishing to take her, take her virginity, bury himself inside her. Her virginity was HIS to take not anyone else's, no other man should, she was his and would always be his. He slightly tugged at the side of her underwear and started to drag it down but then Mara realised what they hell they were doing.
He was married. And an expectant father. He was NOT hers. Not anymore.
Mara managed to move her head from his, and from his lips and pushed at his chest to get him off her. He backtracked, he obliged and stood up but stared at her with an expression that was part confusion part sorrow, sorrow for he knew this was the end but didn't want to.
Mara stood up as well, fixed her dress and then looked at him, and it was later that she realised that this was going to be one of the last times she would ever be able to do so. Not amused with their stunt the other day, the Kensington's had broken ALL contact with their family, which meant that Sir Kensington never wished to speak to his brother and sister-in-law, and they were banned from ever visiting them again.
"Mara. Mara please.. I beg of you. Please don't-". He was looking dishevelled and out of it, barely holding it together.
"You should go. Henry. Please" she said.
"No. No Mara. Don't you understand. I cannot. I-" he wished to argue but she would not have it.
"Leave, Henry. Now", she stated sternly.
He looked at her an instance more and then walked to the door, defeatedly but before he left, he turned to face her again.
"I can't let you marry him, Mara. I can't." he said and then he was out of the room. She nearly collapsed to the floor, sat on her knees, and put her hand on her stammering heart. It was difficult to breath..
It took her a while, 20 minutes. 25? to recuperate but then something dawned on her. Something he said.
"I can't let him you marry, him Mara"
And suddenly a sense of shock went through her, he.. He wouldn't surely? She got from the floor and ran to the front door, where the coachman had just returned.
"Mr. Kennedy... Did you transport Mr. Carrington just now?", she wished to know.
"I did, miss Mara.. but.. are you alright, Miss? You do not look too well", he asked worriedly.
"I am alright. Thank you Mr. Kennedy but tell me please.. Where did you take him?", she demanded to know.
Her heart sank to the bottom of the proverbial ocean when Mr. Kennedy replied next.
"I took him to the Bridgerton's".
**********************
Benedict, Colin, The Duke of Hastings, and Anthony were sitting in the cigar room, drinking coffee, Daphne, their mother, and sisters had gone to the modiste, so they had the place to themselves. They were engaging in idle chitchat, ignoring the elephant in the room, until the Duke finally asked the question they all needed a reply to.
"Do correct me if I am wrong, Anthony but.. You rejected a variety of stunning, intellectual ladies for months and found no one was good enough but now.. you have done a complete turnaround by intending to marry all the sudden and on top of that someone you hardly know and who has... a reputation. You do work in mysterious ways", Simon said.
Anthony looked at his brothers who did not speak and thought their silence was very telling, probably they were in agreeance with their now brother-in-law.
"My, my.. How quickly the tables have turned.. You, judging me about getting married after you were planning to be a bachelor till your 60th", Anthony joked.
"Aah true.. but then I met your sister", Simon grinned "things changed after that", he concluded.
Anthony just smiled at the memory of exactly how his sister and the Duke had met and was thankful for a happy outcome. He glanced over at Colin who looked a bit uncomfortable..
"What's the matter, Colin? Don't tell me you are planning to scold me as well for my life's decisions?", Anthony said smirking.
"No, brother.. I respect your decision but.. do you even love her?", he asked, and this was the million-dollar pound question. Anthony took his time to respond and then turned his head from side to side, implicating he did not.
"Maybe I could, though", he quickly followed up with. "Maybe later".
He knew this was a lie for he was sure he could never love anyone else than Sienna.
"But do you even fancy her?", Benedict asked earnestly.
Anthony, in lieu of answering, reached for a pastry and stuffed his mouth with it but he couldn't help it. A mischievous grin came across his features that explained it all.
"YOU DO, don't you?" Benedict laughed.
"You cheeky bastard." Simon said..
"Pretending to be noble to save her honour but all along secretly coveting her", he accused with a grin.
Anthony didn't answer to the allegations instead he got up, finished eating the pastry and said he would have to go back to his study to attend to 'urgent' matters. He walked up the stairs towards this study, but the other gentlemen lingered a few moments later.
Just as they left they encountered a stranger in the hallway, asking where their brother's study was.
"Second floor, first room to the right,", Colin innocently answered, perhaps thinking it was one of Anthony's friends. The stranger didn't thank Colin and proceeded his way up on the stairs.
"Excuse me, but who are you? "Benedict yelled after him, but the man did not reply.
Something was off..
Benedict, Colin, and Simon exchanged looks with each other and then simultaneously ran up the stairs.
The door flew open and there in front of Anthony stood Henry Carrington, his maybe fiancées former beau. Anthony stared at the man, that looked besides himself, his face red with fury and gazing at him intently, calculatedly. If looks could kill, Anthony would be dead by now.
"Mr. Carrington.. This is unexpected.. Can I help you with anything?", Anthony asked, genuinely curious even though he suspected where this was going.
"Yes, you can help me by retracting your proposal of marriage to Mara Kensington", Henry spat out.
"Excuse me.. I don't quite understand- ", Anthony stated shaking his head.
He got up from behind his desk and walked a bit closer to his unwanted and uninvited guest.
"I think I was pretty clear just now", Henry replied. "You will retract your marriage proposal" and Anthony started to get annoyed with the brazenness of Henry's demeanour, storming like that, demanding things from him. He then walked over to Henry, a move that he would regret a few moments later.
"I am sorry, Mr. Carrington but that matter is between me and Miss Kensington and none of your concern", he sarcastically stated which made things worse because Henry seemed to be seething by now.
"And besides, you are in no position to demand things, nor from me, nor from miss Kensington, especially since you are spoken for and a father to be. Where is your sense of propriety? How dare you, a married man, wish to reason with me about my fiancée to be. You have some ner---"
Anthony felt a sharp pain to the side of his head a minute later and nearly fell back to the floor. He then grasped the area that hurt and rubbed over it.
Anthony wanted to retaliate but the pain was too much this moment, piercing even.. Unfortunately, Henry got closer to him wishing to punch him again, but he was restrained.
"Hey, what are you doing? You bastard! "Benedict said. He and Colin were holding on to a second later, restraining him while Simon attended to Anthony, guided him towards the bench and where they sat down.
"You will stay the hell away from her. She is mine"the now not very distinguished Mr. Carrington said through gritted teeth.
Speak of the devil..
She had flown in the room, her eyes big with shock and out of breath from what seemed to be running over here. She glanced over the room and saw Henry being restrained by Benedict and Colin and an injured Anthony tended to.. by... oh for fuck's sake..
The DUKE was there.
"Your Grace" she stated and then quickly bowed. "Ben, Colin" she acknowledged, and the two men nodded at here.
They all looked at her and she felt her face redden instantly..
"Mr. Bridgerton, you are hurt", she remarked, and she quickly went over to him and asked if he was alright, and then exchanged a look with Henry...
"Mara.. I.. I know I shouldn't have but-" but she would not listen, instead she turned her back to him and addressed Anthony.
"Mr. Bridgerton, apologies for me barging in like this but I have come to tell you what my decision is regarding your proposal". Anthony didn't reply but just listened to her, staring at her intently.
"I accept", she said primly and to the point to Anthony's surprise and his mouth went slightly agape.
Mara then turned around to face Henry because she had to see it, not because out of spite but she had to know if the message had gotten through, for he needed to move and so did she.
And the message got through because she swore. She swore she could see his heart being broken, not into two but a million pieces.
************************
He had quickly left after that, breaking free from his hold. But before he left but glanced one more at her, with an expression that was full of sorrow, regret and melancholy before he turned and exited.
"I realise that this all is very inconvenient, but do you mind.. I need to have a word with you Mr. Bridgerton", Mara asked him nervously.
"Of course," and that was the cue for his brothers and Simon to leave.
Mara stared at him reproachfully.
"I am so sorry, I didn't think he would attack you", Mara remarked.
"It is alright.. I'll live", he said..
And then there was an awkward silence for a minute or two.
"About what I just said.. Accepting your proposal. Thank you for playing along with me but I am afraid I must decline".
Anthony gazed at her in confusion. What the bleeding hell was going on?
"I have made my mind up, I am to stay with my uncle at Gloucester until all of this blows over, at least for a while. They are coming to visit Tuesday around noon, and I shall leave with them in the evening".
She had to gather her courage for the next following sentences.
"I really wish to thank you for the kindness you have bestowed on me and my parents, but I am certain I am not a good match for you and your lovely family. My reputation is smudged for one and- ".
"But that is why I intend to wed- "Anthony wished to argue but she dropped a proverbial bomb next.
"He.. He kissed me.. I mean.. We kissed", she said, and she stared down. Weighing her words, trying to have them sink in but if he was honest, he was flabbergasted and didn't know what to say.
"You see Mr. Bridgerton.. As I said I am not a good match" and then she had dared to look up at him.
"I apologize for the trouble I have imposed upon you and the rest of the Bridgerton's, Sir..".
The following statement came out of her mouth hesitantly, but she had to utter the words.
"Please allow me to wish you all the best and all the love in the world", she concluded before turning and leaving.
**********************
It was Tuesday and her uncle and aunt were visiting along with their devill..., their rambunctious children. They had not been at the house for 20 minutes before Helena came up to Mara, screaming that Jessica, the 10-year-old, had broken her "dolly".
Ten minutes AFTER that Lucas came back from playing outside stating that John, who was the same age as Lucas, had taken his wrist and twisted harshly from "roughhousing" in the garden. He had screamed bloody murder until John had finally let go. Her uncle and aunt did not correct their children but found it all kind of amusing. Especially when John & Jessica proceeded to throw balls inside of the house, one of those balls had made impact with Mara's arm and she winced. Bloody hell.. What was she signing herself up for?
Anthony was in his study again, it was Tuesday.. He tried his best to be productive but was failing, for one reason he kept glancing up from his work to the clock. He sighed deeply.
For God's sake.. She had made her decision, and he should respect that.
And.. And she had kissed someone else.. But it was not that she and Anthony had been together, and she cheated on him. He had proposed yes but that did not mean they had been lovers so.. He couldn't expect her to be faithful to him when they weren't in an relationship.. yet.
Yet? Why yet?
Why did he just think yet as if there was going to a relationship at all. He sighed again.
Nonetheless, her leaving.. Ending things like this.. Her purposefully exiling herself. It did not feel right. He was to blame as well.
Ten o'clock. Half past. Eleven.. Half past.. Nearly twelve..
The next minute, before knowing what came over him, he put on his coat and ran towards the Kensington's, their house a couple of streets away and he hoped he would be in time.
He saw her standing at the sidewalk, wishing to get into the carriage. She heard her name being called and saw no one other than Anthony Bridgerton racing towards her.
When he was close he was out of breath but relieved for he had made it.
"Mara.. Please reconsider- "but before Anthony could continue she said, nearly shouted..
"I have changed my mind and wish to marry you!".
They looked at each other, both in disbelief at what had just occurred.
Dearest reader,
I don't mean to brag but turns out I was right..
Wedding bells will be ringing again..
Mr. Bridgerton is to wed Miss Mara Kensington next week, another wedding for this esteemed family in a short period of time..
As you all know Daphne Bridgerton got married recently to no one other than the Duke of Hastings and as you may remember.. I predicted that joyful union of happening and now was correct in my prediction regarding Mr. Bridgerton & Miss Kensington.
What do you think dearest reader?
Should I put away my pen and paper and become a matchmaker fulltime?
But ah no.. I would miss out on all the fun and besides..
Who would entertain and inform you if I am gone?
Until next time, dear friends
Lady Whistledown.