AN: Fuck the japanese money system
Sid walked out of the academy. It was her first unofficial day there, and she must say.
She hates it.
It's all so boring, and the students there more so.
She tried to make things interesting by jumping and dancing on the desk when Iruka's back was turned, but then he caught her.
His yelling wasn't pretty. And neither was his snot. She was sure that if she had her mouth open, something would go down in her throat and make her churn it back up.
Since she didn't feel like throwing up or gagging, she kept her mouth shut for the next fifteen minutes. But then she got bored and made some spitballs.
Don't ask where she got a straw.
She targeted this pink haired stuck up, the boy with a duck kink, and Dolphin-fucker. Plus the dude with a dog kink. She wasn't gonna ask about why they have those kinks. She didn't wanna know.
Long story short, she made it through the day. And that was what brought her to now.
She walked around the village aimlessly, Naruto saying he had to go clean up his awesome prank, which was a total bummer, but it was ight with her.
She's been walking around for about an hour, before something captured her eye.
A son and father laughing together. They were inside a barbecue restaurant, and the child stuck his chopsticks up his nose.
She frowned faintly before her stomach growled. She silently told it to shut up before she walked away.
She wasn't hungry right now. The same as yesterday.
Speaking of which, I've been here for two days and one night. I need to go grocery shopping, soon...
She walked around, just looking at things in store windows. She saw a little knickknack shop, so she entered, the bell ringing with a beautiful chime.
She saw an old lady sweeping the floor, and an old man looking around.
It made her feel comfortable. Like she could be nice and didn't have to be overdramatic and rude like most the time. She could just relax.
She smiled at the women as the women smiled back.
"Welcome." Sid nodded her head before going to look over at some cute little figurines.
She studied some of them, finding them each cute and unique before she stumbled upon a few that looked like someone shat them out and called them art.
They were just...weirdly adorable. Sid found them to be a lot like her in this undescribable way.
Or maybe she just liked them.
Either way, she called the lady over and asked her how much they were.
"Oh, those? Just 99 cents for each one, dear." Sid's face automatially turned into a scowl before she rummaged through her money. Expensive old coot...
She internally grumbled as she took out some cash.
"If I give you 5 dollars, how many would that get me?" The old lady put a thinking face on.
"Hm, well, let's see...With 5 dollars, each little toy costing 99 cents..." She gave Sid a closed eye smile. "You could buy 4 of them."
ONLY 4!? Sid's jaw dropped before she just scowled again and gave the women said money.
"Great! Go ahead and pick 4 out, deary!" The old lady then went back to sweeping the wooden floor.
What about my 5 cent change!? Sid huffed.
Sid turned back to look at the little squishy things. She looked them over before deciding on the 4 she would pick.
She chose a polar boar, a white cat with a pink nose, a pink octopus thing, and a white bunny with a pink nose.
She chose amazing names for them all.
She smirked as she exited the store, hearing the old women call out.
"Thank you for choosing to come to Cute Knickknacks! Please come again soon!"
Sid scoffed. "I only did it for me, not you...Besides..."
She held the little cute squishes in her hand, dubbing them her babies.
Polar Pussy, Pussylick, Octopussy, and Furrypussy...I am your new mother. Your Pussy Mama.
Sid shoved them in her pocket before stopping in her tracks.
Should I go to the grocery store? I have to eat something... As if on cue, her stomach growled.
Conviently, she seen a ramen stand a ways away.
She walked towards it slowly, dragging her feet as she went along. She hopped on a stool, before slamming 5 bucks on the table.
"Beef ramen..." Then she laid her head down and was tempted to take a nap.
"Coming up!" She heard a man say.
"Cool, deuces." Sid mumbled, feeling tired.
Right when she was about to close her eyes, she heard a loud voice interrupt her peaceful mind.
"EHH!? AREN'T YOU THAT ONE NEW GIRL IN MY CLASS!?"
Nardo. She quickly recognized the voice and turned her head to see it indeed was him.
"Nardo, I'm that girl that got tied up in ropes with you because of Dolphin-fucker's weird ass kink. Ass."
Naruto scrunched up his nose. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki, not Nardo! Believe it!"
"Yeah, okay. I believe it. Now, would 'ya leave me alone? I wanna eat in peace."
Naruto's grin faltered before he ran up beside Sid, sitting next to her.
"I'll order some ramen, too!" Sid looked at him before shrugging.
"Works for me. Just don't be too loud, dipshit." She then placed her head in her arms and tried to fall asleep.
Naruto grinned at the ramen owner. "Hey, old man Teuchi! Three bowls of ramen! Just the way I like it!"
"Sure thing, Naruto!"
Sid heaved a sigh as she banged her head lightly on the table, making Naruto look at her.
"Hey, why are you doing that? You got an itch 'ya can't get?"
Silence.
Naruto huffed and crossed his arms. "Well even if you do have an itch, I'm not scratching it for you! Believe it!"
Silence.
Naruto faltered, a bit worried. "Hey, what's wrong with you?"
"...I got a coochie itch."
Naruto tilted his head. "What? You're being weird!!"
"I said I got a coochie itch."
"Huh? I don't get it, believe it!" Naruto frowned, squinting his eyes as he scratched the back of his head.
Sid smirked and lifted her head, putting it in her hand.
"You wanna find out?" She asked deeply, staring into his eyes. She leaned in close to him, making him blush.
Naruto leaned back, saying, "E-eh?! You're too close, believe it!"
Sid leaned in closer, her smirk widening. "I can get even closer by-"
Naruto fell out of his chair, hitting the back of his head.
"Ow! That hurt!"
Sid snorted as she backed up. "Heh, too easy..."
"What!?" Naruto questioned. Sid hushed him, as her beef ramen arrived.
"Shush, child. Food is more important right now. Always and forever."
"But-"
"Don't make me get the Chungus."
"The what-"
"I told you to be quiet!" She threw some noodles at him, but all Naruto did was slurp them up. She gawked.
This innocent smol bean...I must protect him with my life...he is too pure for this world...although-LET'S GET SLURPY! LET'S GET SLURPY IN HERE!!
And slurpy it was, as she slurped her beef tasting noodles.
'Ya got beef? Yeah I got beef, WHY you want beef? YEAH I WANT BEEF-
"So-uh...what is a coochie?"
Sid spit out her beefy noodles.