FAITH POV: It's our fifth day of writing for the album, and most of it is finished already. I think Devin finds some secret enjoyment in hearing me sing about how much I hate Tim.
Josh is supposed to be coming today. He agreed to meet me downtown for "coffee" before we head over to Warner. I pray that Devin can keep it appropriate for Josh... Just one normal night of songwriting.
I walk into the starbucks that Josh agreed to meet me at, and see him immediately. He stands up and waves me over.
"You look beautiful tonight." He smiles, causing me to helplessly blush. I'm only wearing a t-shirt and jeans, along with some cowgirl boots. Nothing too out of the ordinary.
"Thank you." I respond, sort of trying to flirt. We step into line and order our coffees and then stand awkwardly, unsure whether we should sit down or go straight to the office. I personally would like to have a moment before seeing Devin. He can be a little... intense... when I'm around other guys. I walk over to a corner booth, far away from the crowded entry. We sit down and attempt to make small talk.
"So, this may sound very reporter-like, but is there anything you would want me to write about you in conjuction with the new music?" He asks. "I'm just trying to get the business part out of the way before-hand." He takes a sip of his coffee while I stare at the sleeve around it. I don't know what I want him to say...
"Do you think I should comment on the divorce?" I ask, praying he'll give me a real answer, not the one that would get him paid the most.
"Well, what would you want people to know about the divorce?" He cocks his head a little, making me feel a few butterflies in my stomach.
"How much of an idiot he is..." I laugh exhaustingly. "Can I just say something off the record?"
"Absolutely." He smiles, and begins to listen.
"He had no problem leaving our kids... Absolutely no hesitation when he thought he wouldn't get visition. He was completely fine... I find that really twisted... Don't you?" I ask. He looks down at his cup, then back up at me.
"My dad ran out when I was a kid... No kid deserves that." he admits, maintaining a more sad version of his orginal smile.
"I'm sorry about that." I reply, placing my hand on the table.
"It's alright. Probably better that he wasn't there anyways." he sort of mumbles, looking at his cup. He clears his throat and pulls out a little note pad.
"I think everything I have to say about him will be in my next album." I say, looking at his notepad. He traces my stare, understanding my cue for him to record this, and he begins to scribble down notes.
"So you are personally writing the songs?" He asks. I nod.
"Along with a co-writer I've know since I was a kid. I think our history helps the creative process a bit, because we are comfortable with eachother." I begin to laugh a little at the statement.
"Who's this songwriter?" He asks with a slight smile. I shrug playfully.
"Devin Wills. Really talented guy. We had actually wrote songs together before, like way back in high school." I smile back, trying to avoid the fact that we've been sleeping with eachother, and we were engaged.
"So there's a new CEO coming to Warner, will this affect your release date or plans at all?" He asks. I widen my eyes, since I had no clue the old one was leaving.
"Umm... I actually had no idea..." I say, looking around the restaurant. He laughs.
"Well there's a new CEO." He informs me with a smile.
"Why'd the other one leave?" I ask.
"Retirement."
"Oh..." I say, glad nothing bad happened. "Good for him. And it hopefully shouldn't mess up any dates." I say, completely pulling it out of my ass. We haven't even booked studio time.
"You've said that you want to crossover more into pop for this album. How is that going so far?" He asks.
"I think that's something that will be best shown at the label." I say, grabbing my jacket. He smiles, and follows me out to my car. He must've taken a cab here.
We walk into the songwriting suite, and Devin is already there, and fiesty as ever.
"Took long enough..." He whispers in my ear as he comes in for a hug. He shakes Josh's hand firmly, and then sits down with his guitar in his lap while Josh looks around.
"This is Devin." I say, introducing Josh to Devin. "Devin, this is Josh, a reporter from Billboard." Josh writes down a few notes as we begin to play a bit.
Josh leaves after a fairly normal songwriting session. I walk him out, and then head back upstairs to grab my purse. As I walk back in, Devin cocks his head at me.
"How do you do that?" He says softly, his voice sound bare.
"Do what?" I ask, reaching for my bag.
"Light up the room like that." He smiles. He puts his hands together in his lap, and then leans forward. "I'd do anything to take this pain away from you." He says quietly, as if it were our secret. He looks like he's in pain himself.
"Thank you..." I say quietly in response, not sure what else to say. He grabs my hand, and pulls me in close. He stands up, and begins to slow dance with me in his arms.
"I miss this..." He says, his chest vibrating against my cheek. One of my hands rests in his, while the other is wrapped down by his waist. He makes me feel safe for the moment.
I remember how he used to sit against the hood of his car, a cigarette hanging from the side of his mouth, watching the flame from his lighter dance. He was a complete bad boy, but I loved him. He was the bad boy and also a complete child. He wanted a family, and a big house, and a future. He didn't want to fall through the cracks and become some byproduct of a life he didn't want to lead. He wanted to be a family man...
I felt free with him... I felt on the verge of danger, and as if we were on a roller coaster the entire time we were in love. We loved the gut wrenching twists and turns, and begged the conductor to send us for another round every time we came to the end. At some point, his cart jumped the tracks...
Devin looks down at me for a moment as we dance. He kisses me slowly, leaving me begging for another. Before I know it, we are entwined on the couch once more.