It's been a week since the incident and I think I'm finally ready to go back out into the world. I've called into work and stuff, so I was at home all of last week to rest and recover.
I say I'm ready to go out, but I've been sitting on the bathroom counter for the past hour. I really don't understand what I'm so scared about.
I finally come out of the bathroom after staring at the wall for over an hour, just thinking about nothing.
"I'll walk with you," Alon says as I come down the stairs. I just nod my head, still a bit dazed, not ready to use my voice.
I grab my bag that has my phone, laptop, earphones, water, and my songbook, grab my coat and walk out the door, knowing Alon has keys to lock the door.
He tries to converse with me the entire way, but I just feel so empty. He still talks the entire way, and that's one of the reasons why I love him. He never gives up no matter how hard it gets.
Just as I'm about to open the door, he grabs my hand.
"Look, I don't know what's going on in your head. But I do know that you're the strongest girl I've ever met. So don't let him break you. Not now," Alon tells me.
I weakly nod my head, knowing that if I say anything else, I'll burst into tears right here. Instead I walk into his hug, hearing him whisper "I love you."
I want to tell him that I loved him too, but I just couldn't get the words out of my mouth. It's not like it's a big deal or anything, he's basically my brother and we always say our goodbyes as 'I love you,' but I just feel different.
I can't help but remember Blake. How he was before. I was only with him and his wife for 2 months before she passed away. At the time, I was the only child they had adopted, but she wanted more kids.
Blake used to be so loving, and happy. And it hurts so much to see him hurt me, and hear him insult me, because he was the light for me at the time. He cared for me, and made sure I was okay when my parents died. When my whole world came crashing around me.
I walk into the building, my head filled with memories, pushing me on the verge of tears.
"Hey stranger!" Charlie says as I enter the lounge. I look at him, trying to come out of my thoughts, giving a small smile.
"Hey," I say softly.
"What's wrong," he immediately asks, concerned. "Are you feeling better? You know, I'm sure Kenny won't mind you taking a couple extra days off if you're not. Know what, I'll go talk to him for you. Just sit here and..."
"Char," I cut him off, laughing quietly. "I'm fine, I promise. 100% better. Just caught up in some thoughts," I tell him truthfully.
He laughs too, "Sorry, I just want to make sure you're fine."
"Nothing to apologize for," I tell him, grinning. "Thank you for caring."
"No mention! After all, what type of friend would I be if I didn't," he grins.
We talk for a bit, him filling me in on everything I missed, until the rest of the cast show up and Mr. Ortega walks in.
"Welcome back kid," Mr. Ortega greets me, pulling me in for a hug. "Feeling better?"
"Yes sir," I mock salute him, Maddie laughing next to me.
"That's good to hear," he smiles. "Well then, let's get back to work, shall we?" We all shout a chorus of 'yes', everyone clearly excited for today's plan.
"We'll be in the recording studio today," Mr. Ortega smiles, making my heart stop. No way am I ready to sing today.
"Charlie and Maddie will be recording their duet today," he continues. Everyone cheers for them. "And Aqua, we need to start talking about your song, alright?"
I nod. I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions. One part of me wants to sing; not just that, I want to sing something I write. But the other part just wants to run away from that studio.
I don't know what to do.
And I can't get Blake out of my head.
I don't notice everyone has already left for the studio until Jer pulls me out of my thoughts. "You okay?"
I look up to see him, Owen, and Jake staring down at me, concerned.
I clear my throat, shaking my head, "Yeah, I'm fine, sorry. Just a bit spacey," I say, trying to laugh it out.
We head to the studio together, the boys having some kind of heated whisper match, but I can't seem to focus.
It's bad enough that Blake ruined my whole week last week. Now he's stuck in my head. And I know he isn't even my real father, but he's all I've got left, and I can't help but want to hold onto my best memories of him.
A tear slips out of my eyes that I quickly wipe away, but Jake sees me. He walks closer to me, "what's wrong?" he whispers in my ear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Hello lovelies! Sorry for such a late update, but I was working on something else! Anyways, what's your favorite song right now? Let me know in the comments.
Please vote and comment. Have a terrific Thursday! Hugs and kisses.