"Lost and Found" - Tamaki Amajiki x male reader
» Genre: Angst
» Summary: Soulmate AU where the name of your soulmate appears on your wrist around your 18th birthday - but Tamaki is hopelessly in love with you
» Warnings: Anxiety, self-doubt, violence, fires, death
» Words: 2.9k
» Author's Note: I finished this in October and I'm just posting this now oops
Soulmate AU where the name of your soulmate appears on your wrist around your 18th birthday
Every single time Tamaki left the 3-A Alliance to go to his work study at the Fat Gum Agency, he felt a pit in his stomach. The thought of having to talk to people, to take responsibility for civilians' lives, to be confronted by villains and so much more could not scare him more. It terrified him to the point where his hands shook as he stuffed his hero costume into his bag and was barely able to speak a word when Kirishima tried to make Smalltalk with him on the train.
Sure, in battles Tamaki was able to react quickly, and according to the people around him he was strong, but as soon as he was able to think clearly again and the excitement of the fight had worn off, he froze once again.
Tamaki knew that he should loosen up a little or he would never become a decent hero – at least, that was what he kept telling himself. Every single person he had worked with was so much better than him and instead of being encouraged by that fact to do better in order to keep up with everyone else, it made him lose all his motivation and self-confidence.
There were Mirio and Nejire who were working so incredibly hard to be pros, there was Kirishima, the young man who, even though he suffered from some confidence issues himself, never gave up, and there was you always giving your very best and with a bright future ahead - Tamaki could not keep up with anyone.
He always admired other people from afar, silently cheered them on during battles, those people being Kirishima and you most of the time.
Even though you went to a different school than the rest of Fat Gum's current interns, Tamaki knew you quite well – it was not the first time the two of you interned at the agency together. It was a silent agreement between Tamaki and you to come back to Fat Gum every year and you had lived through quite some fights together already. The current work study was the same as always, the only difference being that Kirishima was tagging along.
Your school uniform already neatly laid on the bench in the changing room of the agency when Tamaki and Kirishima entered, but you were nowhere to be seen.
"He's early today," Kirishima commented as he tossed his bag next to yours and kicked his normal shoes off. "It was kind of lonely without you last week, Y/H/N and I missed you."
The week before, anxiety had got the best of Tamaki and he had not been able to go to the work study, leaving Kirishima alone with you. "He'll probably be happy to see you, man!"
That caught Tamaki off guard. He felt his face heating up in less than a second as he desperately tried to think of something to say. He wanted to go home. Maybe he should have stayed at the dorms like last week. Maybe he should never put a foot outside his room ever again – yeah, that was probably the best thing to do.
"W-what are you t-talking about?"
"You know what I mean!" Kirishima punched his arm playfully and Tamaki winced. "It's obvious that you like him!" The blush rose to the tips of Tamaki's ears and he turned away from Kirishima to hide his face. Was it really that obvious? Did everyone know? Maybe you knew and hated him for it?
His heartbeat went faster and faster, he was sure that if he did not get out of this situation quickly, he would have a heart attack. "Don't- don't be ridiculous."
"Aww, come on man-" Kirishima obviously wanted to say more but he stopped himself, which Tamaki was glad about. He pulled his costume out of his bag, as well as the white tape that he would use to cover the name on his wrist.
The only thing that connected all humans in this society filled with quirks were the names on everyone's wrists that appeared around their eighteenth birthday. Sometimes up to six months earlier, sometimes a little later. The phenomenon had always been around, for as long as humans could remember anyway. Nobody knew where it came from but to Tamaki that did not matter. All he knew was that he would be better off without the name on his wrist.
Tamaki rolled up his sleeve a little. His pale skin let the onyx black letters stand out, the name shimmering a little depending on which angle the light came from. The spot was warmer than the rest of his body, and sometimes an unusual glow came from the letters at night, when met with the dim light of the moon or the stars. Tamaki hated how pretty it was.
He felt Kirishima's eyes on him and pulled down his sleeve again in a rather aggressive manner – a side that he barely showed to anyone – he shot Kirishima an angry look. "Don't look!" The boy held his hands up in defence. "I'm sorry man, I know it was wrong of me, but was just curious! I know about the showing-your-name-thing, but I haven't got mine yet, so I'm curious how you hide it."
In this day and age, it was extremely common for people, especially for heroes, to cover up their soulmate's name on their wrists. It could easily be used against them, so it was for the better. That was also the reason why most heroes only went by their aliases and did not even let their colleagues know their real names.
"It's fine, it doesn't matter anyway," Tamaki sighed and went back to putting on his hero costume.
Even though Kirishima did not always seem like it, he was a smart kid, and it did not take him long to put the pieces together. "Yaknow, there are many couples that work out just fine even though they aren't soulmates. Platonic soulmates exist and-"
"Are looked down upon by society. Sure, it can work out, but the cases are very rare."
"But you should go for it anyway! It could work out just fine! You don't know if you never try! Besides that, do you even know his real na-"
"Y/H/N and I aren't soulmates. That's just how it is." Tamaki turned away from Kirishima as to silently tell him that this conversation was now over. That did not seem to stop Kirishima.
"I stand by what I said," he told Tamaki. "You should just go for it, man." Tamaki completely ignored his words, causing an uncomfortable silence that lasted until both of them were done changing and walked outside.
Fat Gum waited for them in front of the agency. You were already by his side, waving.
"Red Riot! Suneater!" you greeted them with a joyful grin. "Are you feeling better? I missed you a lot last week!" Tamaki dodged the nudge Kirishima directed at his arm in a way to say, 'told you so'.
"I- I-," he stuttered. Blood rushed to his face again and he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. In a swift motion, he pulled his hood over his head and deep into his face. "We- we should get going, right, Fat Gum?"
Fat Gum, who had only been watching in silence with a hint of frustration in his eyes, nodded. "Let's go."
Every patrol at the Fat Gum agency started out the same way: with a trip to a restaurant. Both Fat Gum and Tamaki got something good to eat to be able to use their quirks at maximum potential in case of an emergency, while Kirishima and you both got a small snack.
The rest of the patrols were always different. Sometimes, the four of you fought small criminals, helped out in accidents, fought bigger villains. And sometimes, absolutely nothing happened. Just Tamaki, Kirishima, you and your mentor strolling around the streets, being greeted by passer-bys, laughing together. It was days like this were Tamaki felt a little more confident talking to you without the need to impress you when he was fighting. He felt pride in his chest whenever he made you smile, like it was an achievement or a reward. Sometimes he felt bold and almost held your hand but stopped himself. Sadly, those days were extremely scarce. And unfortunately, it was not one of those rare days.
Before the group even arrived at the scene, it was obvious what had happened. The sky darkened from an evening blue to a dark grey. Smoke billowed around the tall buildings, ash and soot snowed down from above, making it hard to breathe. As he came closer, Tamaki was able to see more and more sparks rising, as well as a bright orange light dancing on the dark clouds. Peoples' screams rang in his ears.
The sight in front of him took Tamaki's breath away. The building was one of the smaller ones in this area but still huge, and entirely covered in flames and clouds of almost black smoke.
"What happened?" Fat Gum quickly approached one of the people standing in front of the building, turning his back to the interns without any instructions.
"Why is the fire department not here yet?" Kirishima's voice was shaking a little but he tried his best to keep his composure.
"They'll be here soon," you immediately assured him. "We should make ourselves useful until they arrive." Tamaki was surprised by the determination in your voice. He himself felt a little helpless considering he was not able to do anything against the fire. "First, we make sure that nobody is hurt. Then we should make sure that the people on the street don't come anywhere near the flames, because the building looks like it's gonna collapse any minute now. And make it possible for the fire department's vehicles to access the building without any problems."
"Okay, got that!" Kirishima yelled. "We're gonna help those people like the heroes we are!"
With that, you scattered into different directions.
Even though Tamaki was supposed to focus on the task at hand, he could not help but look back at the burning building over his shoulder again and again. It was getting hotter by the second and there was still nobody to extinguish the fire. Tamaki was getting impatient, even though the team had not been there for long yet - two minutes at most. And even though he was actively helping people, he felt useless.
The feeling of not being able to help enough, that usually sat at the back of his mind, became more dominant again, making him weak in the knees. He felt his hands starting to shake a little, sweat forming on his forehead from both the incredible heat and the anxiety.
"Suneater!" He recognized your voice over all the yelling and screaming around him. It was like you reached out from him through the fog in his mind and offered him your hand. And he gladly took it. He turned his head to face you and your eyes met for a split second.
"Suneater, are you alri-"
"He's still in there!" A shrill scream cut you off. The woman Kirishima had been comforting tumbled past him. "My soulmate! He's still in there!"
Tamaki's heart dropped. A numbness filled out his whole body, only leaving his brain active, yet all control over his limbs was lost. The woman's screams shook Tamaki to the core, sent shivers up and down his spine, but the signals his brain sent to his legs would not arrive. 'Run', he told them, but they did not comply. His eyes erratically went back and forth between the building and the woman's wrist, the name visibly starting to fade. 'Run', Tamaki told his legs once again, but they did only twitch once.
He felt an airstream hit his face and his breath hitched. Where Tamaki failed, you succeeded, storming towards the building. All Tamaki could get his body to do was to weakly stretch out his hand in an attempt to reach you, but it did not work. His only hope was that maybe Fat Gum would stop you, but his mentor was too late as well. You disappeared in the building without a trace.
Finally, Tamaki was able to move again. He set one foot forward, then the other. He told them to go faster and they did. Faster, faster. Towards the fire. Seven metres, six metres, five metres. And straight into Fat Gum's arms.
"Let me go!" Tamaki yelled as he tried to free himself from his mentor's grip. "I need to help him!"
"I can't allow you to go in there." The arms around his shoulders were too strong, Tamaki could barely move. He fought with all the strength he had even though he knew that he would never be able to compete against Fat Gum's power. Fat Gum pushed him away from the building, away from the unbearable heat.
The last thing Tamaki was able to consciously perceive was the series of loud cracks coming from the direction of the building. Then he watched it collapse in a sea of sparks and fire and smoke.
Tamaki could hear himself scream your name over and over again. He screamed until his throat hurt and then he still kept screaming. The world around him was blurry and nobody else seemed to reach him. Everyone's voices and touches were far, far away, like he was under water. And that is what Tamaki felt like in that exact moment. He was suffocating, helpless once again. There was no room for any other thoughts and actions besides shouting for you over and over again, until his voice finally died, and his entire body went numb.
***
Room 399 was on the third floor of the building.
His knocks on the door were hardly audible, Tamaki's knuckles barely touching the wood. Nevertheless, he got a faint "come in" as a response. Tamaki opened the door and stepped into the room. It was a typical hospital room. White floor and walls, the smell of hand sanitizer was in the air like dense fog even though the window was open, and a light breeze moved the curtains. Only one of the beds was occupied. You looked at him with an inviting smile. "Hey there, Suneater!"
Tamaki immediately felt his cheeks glowing bright red, just at your simple greeting. "H-hey Y/H/N," he managed. It took him a few seconds and a couple of deep breaths before he managed to force himself to come closer to your bed.
"How are you?" Tamaki's gaze was glued to the floor. He did not want to see your injuries and bandages; it would only fuel the guilt sitting in his chest.
"I'm getting better!" How could you sound so happy in this situation? Sure, you had saved the man's life and got away as well, but the hero who was responsible for your injuries and failed to save you was standing right in front of you. "The doctor said that I'll be able to go home in a few days. I'll be back at the agency in no time!"
The incident had happened a week ago, you only woke up about three days ago. It was Fat Gum and Kirishima who had urged Tamaki to visit you. He probably would not have visited if it had not been for them, even though he had really wanted to. He wanted to tell you about the guilt he felt, beg you to forgive him for failing back then. Tamaki was sure that you knew why he was there.
"Why don't you sit down for a bit?" You pat a spot on your bed and Tamaki complied. Eyes glued somewhere between the floor and the bed to prevent himself from looking at your injuries, he began walking past the bottom of your bed to get to the other side but stopped dead in his tracks. He was sure his heart missed a few beats.
"Suneater?"
"The name," he whispered. "The what?" "The name!" Tamaki almost yelled as he ripped off the watch that was currently covering his soulmate's name. He almost was not able to read the characters because of how much his head was spinning.
"What are you talking abou- oh." Tamaki knew you were watching him examine the name on his wrist and the name tag at the foot of your bed. His eyes went back and forth between the words, comparing every single character over and over and over again. "Fuck," he breathed out.
In the meantime, you had yanked some bandages off your wrist as well. "Tamaki?" He looked up and met your eyes. "Tamaki Amajiki?" A short nod. "Y/N?" You nodded. Tears formed in Tamaki's eyes as he stumbled forward and let himself fall onto the bed, suddenly utterly exhausted. He felt like he had run a marathon, his head was spinning, his heart beat out of his chest, he was barely able to breathe. You did not look any different; amazed, dumbfounded, at a loss of words. He could not believe this. Even after the way he had fucked up over and over again, the universe seemed to reward him.
His whole body trembled as he looked up to lock eyes with you.
"Tamaki Amajiki," you repeated. The sound of his own name coming from your lips was like music in his ears.
"We've finally found each other."