Like some weird form of deja vu, I woke up the next morning in Siyeon's room to see her sitting in the corner watching me all over again. Except this time my previous memories had returned to my mind instantly. To say I was overwhelmed and confused would be an understatement.
Once I had properly woken up, Siyeon took the time to sit down and explain everything to me. She told me that the supernatural is real. Vampires and werewolves exist in the real world, not just in movies and books. That fact alone took me a while to wrap my head around. Her and Yoohyeon are werewolves and Jiu is a vampire (apparently Jiu betrayed her own coven and risked her life to join Siyeon's pack because she fell in love with Yoohyeon).
After that, Siyeon talked me through the past two nights, helping me understand the events that went down. According to her, the reason I was convinced to drink the drugged alcohol Landon offered me at the party was because vampires have the ability to compel humans. When I looked into his eyes, my actions were no longer voluntarily and fell victim to his command. I soon found out that was also why I couldn't remember anything the next morning, after Siyeon reluctantly told me that she had Jiu compel me to forget what happened that night. She also admitted that, since I'm her mate, she has the ability to read my thoughts (which admittedly made me incredibly embarrassed remembering back to all the things I thought about when she was around).
The entire time Siyeon was admitting all of this to me, she seemed very apologetic. I could tell she felt guilty for lying to me about everything. Even though it did hurt after finding out the truth, I eventually started to understand why she hid it from me. All she wanted to do was protect me and she thought hiding this world from me was the way to do that. But once she realized that was no longer the answer, she finally told me the truth.
It took me a while to come to terms with everything. Siyeon gave me plenty of space and allowed me as much time as I needed to think everything through. As much as it shocked me to find out that she had killed those 3 guys, I knew her way of living was a lot different than mine. I mean, she was literally half wolf, so I couldn't exactly call her a 'murderer'. Especially since she did it to save my life. If she hadn't killed them, they were going to kill me. It was just a scary thought to accept. The reality of vampires and werewolves existing in our world was a lot less glamorous and a lot more terrifying than most stories made it out to be.
I almost wondered if I would've been better off not knowing. There's no way I could look at Siyeon the same. But, in the same sense, I finally knew who she was. Or at least a major part of who she was. And, even though it felt like everything I thought I knew about her changed, there was still one thing that remained. She was selfless and would do anything to keep me safe. Because of that, there's no way I would ever fear her. And, the more the days went on without her around me, the more I was beginning to realize I wanted her in my life.
A couple weeks later...
The crowd roared in the bleachers behind me, yet my gaze was cast upwards to the sky above. One of my classmates had convinced me to come to this sports game, insisting that I was spending too much time inside "moping like an angsty teenager who just went through a breakup". I had just laughed it off, thinking that if she knew what I knew she would also need a few weeks to herself just to sit in her thoughts and sort everything out. Although, I eventually humored her, riding along to the game, figuring it would be a nice distraction from my endless contradicting thoughts about a certain black-haired supernatural.
At first, it was working and I actually started to loosen up. Well, until I spotted the very girl who had plagued my mind for the past 2 weeks in the crowd. It made me wonder if she knew I was gonna be here and came to make sure I was safe. Whatever her reason was, seeing her for the first time in what felt like forever made me want to talk to her.
Which is exactly why I stood here now, behind the bleachers. I assumed she already knew what I wanted just from my thoughts. So when I sensed someone beside me, I looked over with a small smile, expecting to see Siyeon.
"You look happy to see me." A voice that was most definitely not Siyeon's said wickedly. When my eyes took in the vaguely familiar boy in front of me, my smile dropped, along with my heart. "Finally ready to pay for what you did to Landon?" His lips turned up in a smirk, showing off his growing white fangs as his eyes turned black.
"I believe you mean what I did to him." Another voice suddenly spoke from behind me. Startled, I turned to see Siyeon approaching, her eyes glowing bright blue as she glared at the vampire in front of me. I instantly forgot about the possible threat, Siyeon's appearance completely capturing my attention. Whether it was because I hadn't seen her in a while or that she was just so striking, I couldn't help but stare. Her long black hair and matching leather jacket made her look intimidating and undeniably sexy. "If you or your coven so much as lay a finger on her ever again, I'll make you wish you were sleeping peacefully next to Landon." She threatened with a snarl.
That was enough to send the dude running away like a little kid crying to his mom over a scraped knee. Although, I'm pretty sure Siyeon didn't even have to say anything to make him fear her. He already did and her piercing stare was threatening enough to make him leave me alone. If I wasn't so confident that she wouldn't harm me, I would've been cowering away in fear too.
"You alright?" She looked over at me, her eyes immediately softening back into their warm brown color. I blushed, realizing I was staring.
"Yeah." I breathed out, clearing my mind of the previous unwarranted thoughts and looking at the ground to hide my tinted cheeks. "I swear I'm never gonna get used to that." I admitted, referring to how quickly she had appeared next to me. Among many other abilities, she was able to move quickly without making any noise. It allowed werewolves to be stealthy and remain undetected when hunting their prey.
Siyeon chuckled in response, her nose crinkling and her cheeks forcing her eyes to narrow into crescent moon shapes. There was no denying that Siyeon's fierce appearance was very attractive, but something about the way she looked now brought an indescribable feeling of warmth to my body. Something I had only felt when I was around her.
"Can I take you home?" Siyeon asked cautiously after a second of silence. I'm sure she knew from reading my thoughts that I wanted to talk to her, so it was charming to know that she still asked permission first.
I accepted and we walked together to her car. She stood close to me, probably just a protective habit of hers, and I felt this newfound urge to hold her hand. Anytime I was around her I always wanted to be closer, as if the mere presence of her was drawing me in, making me feel comforted. I assumed before that it was just her protective personality that made me feel this way, but now I realized there was a much more real, tangible explanation.
She was a werewolf, I was her mate.
Although, something about that didn't sit right with me. I didn't want to think that I was predestined to be with her. That the choice was already made for me. It's not that it would be wrong, I just wanted to feel like I fell for her because of who she is and how she makes me feel, not because I was born for her. Not because the universe declared us soulmates. If what she told me was true, werewolves are similar to vampires in the sense that they can seem more appealing to people in order to draw them in. With vampires, it's to trick their prey, but with werewolves, it's to attract their mates. It just made me wonder if what I felt for her was truly real or merely a product of her supernatural allure.
I had questioned this a lot over the last several days and it always ended with confusion and no real solution. After Siyeon told me I was her mate, I felt this subconscious obligation to come to a decision. It wasn't like I could just ignore it and pretend like nothing ever happened. But, at the same time, I knew that I couldn't make it by myself. When I was alone I was questioning everything I ever felt. The only way I could truly determine how I felt is to listen to my heart when I'm around her.
Sitting next to her in the car, noticing the way my heart pounded deafeningly in my ears when she finally interlocked our fingers, I knew this feeling was real. Maybe heightened, but it was still genuine. I had never felt anything like this for anyone else before. And I think it had been there since the beginning, I had just never paid attention to it before. I'm not even sure what my excuse would be (I didn't know her that well? She's way out of my league?), but the idea of a relationship with her had never crossed my mind until that night when she admitted everything to me. Right now, however, it seemed to be the only thing I could think about.
-
The drive was quiet and we arrived in front of my house quicker than I realized. She put the car in park and looked over at me. I suddenly felt awkward, not knowing how to proceed. My thoughts were all over the place and I nearly forgot the whole reason we were here. I started opening the door when I heard Siyeon's voice.
"You're not gonna invite me in?" In my moment of obliviousness, my cheeks burned at the insinuation. I nearly slapped myself at my dirty mind, finally realizing how idiotic I was being.
Of course, in a ridiculous attempt to redirect my forgetfulness, I chose humor. "I don't think my parents would be very happy if I let a monster inside the house." As soon as the words left my mouth I realized how offensive they sounded and immediately went to take them back, "I'm sorry, I didn't-"
A loud laugh erupted from her, cutting my apology short. My eyebrows raised and I quickly turned my head to look at her. I don't think I had ever heard her genuine laugh before. The sound was like rich honey and sent butterflies swarming in my stomach. How can someone have such a pretty laugh? It was oddly addicting and I was suddenly glad that my defense mechanism against nervousness was comedy.
"You're funny." She said with a sigh after her laughing fit had died down. I just smiled back, glad I didn't offend her, and watched as she took the keys out of the ignition.
We both got out of the car and went inside. Luckily my parents were out for the night. I didn't feel like explaining my relationship with Siyeon to them right now considering I didn't even know how to describe it myself. Plus, if I brought an attractive girl home I just know they would try to embarrass me in front of her.
"Well, this is it." I said after I opened the door to my room, feeling the need to introduce it for some odd reason (most likely because I was already feeling nervous).
I'm not sure what I expected her reaction to be, but I certainly wasn't ready for the way her eyes lit up at the pictures on the walls. She walked around and looked at each one with a genuine smile on her face. It brought a weird feeling to my chest. No one had ever been this interested in something as silly as my baby pictures. Yet here Siyeon was, treating them as if they were the greatest things she had ever laid her eyes upon. The same girl who felt like a stranger to me just months ago. It was clear that I meant something more to her.
And when she put the last picture on my nightstand down, meeting my eyes once again, I felt it. In the look she gave me. The way her eyes were so focused on me and only me. So full of warmth and thoughtfulness. The way her lips were turned up in a caring smile. Like she was grateful that I had shown her another part of myself. The way she seemed so genuinely happy in this moment. Like she was going to cherish this memory for the rest of her life.
She loved me.
And I felt so foolish for taking this long to realize that. Of course I knew she cared for me, that much was obvious. But I didn't realize the extent of her feelings. I thought maybe she was in the same state as me, feeling the attraction but still not sure what it could mean. Now it was clear that she was all in. She was beyond the point of falling. She had already fallen.
After the few seconds that I was silent, preoccupied by my thoughts, she finally spoke up. "You didn't tell me you were such a cute baby." I sighed in relief, hoping her innocent response meant she wasn't listening in on my thoughts.
"Well, we weren't exactly that close before." I pointed out, walking to my bed and sitting on the edge. The weight of my previous revelation felt heavy on my chest, making it hard to focus on anything else.
"Right." She said absentmindedly, looking at the ground as she leaned against the desk to my left. The conversation ended there, replaced by an uncomfortable silence. Well, maybe less 'uncomfortable' and more 'nerve wracking'. I don't think either of us were exactly prepared to address the elephant in the room. And being here with her alone was making it all the more difficult to focus.
I caught a glimpse of her side profile while she wasn't looking at me. The way her hair fell to one side as she combed her fingers through it made my heart flutter. I allowed my eyes to take in her features: dark eyebrows, striking eyes, and a perfectly sculpted nose. I felt my pulse quicken as my gaze lowered to her plump lips and moved across her curved jawline. Letting my mind wander, I thought about what it would be like to touch and how her lips would feel against mine.
I got so lost in my own daydream that, when she raised her head and her eyes met mine, the air was sucked out of my lungs in surprise. The way she looked back at me now was different than before. Her eyes were no longer soft, but intense and her previous smile was long gone. Now I knew she had read my thoughts. I felt my cheeks burn but it wasn't from being caught staring. All the heat from the emotions I was feeling had rushed to my face.
As she slowly started walking towards me, never breaking eye contact, the air in the room grew thicker. A tingling sensation arose in the pit of my stomach in anticipation. When she finally sat next to me on the bed, the tension was so heavy it was practically suffocating. I didn't dare move, choosing to keep my eyes trained on hers. My nerves were through the roof and I tried to calm myself, swallowing thickly. Yet the action just emphasized how hard my heart was beating in my chest.
Siyeon caught me off guard, raising her hand and using it to tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear. "There's no reason to be nervous. I don't bite." She mumbled lightly, switching from intimidating to soft within a split second. She left her hand on the side of my face and allowed her thumb to rub soothing circles against my cheek. The simple habit always brought me comfort and her joke managed to calm me down a little bit. That is, until she leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Unless you want me to."
I froze. A chill shot up my spine and my eyes widened in surprise. It took everything in me to stop myself from picturing her words in my mind. Jesus Christ Lee Siyeon. She leaned back to gauge my reaction and, when her eyes took in my appearance, her cheeks turned pink. "Sorry, too soon?" She asked sheepishly. This had to be the first time I had ever seen her nervous and it was incredibly charming. Who knew, she is human after all (well... at least half).
"N-no." I stuttered out, still not over the shock. I didn't want to say anything more in fear that I would continue to trip over my words and ruin the moment. Instead, I focused back on Siyeon, admittedly feeling the heat from her teasing.
She composed herself, getting over her momentary worry that she had scared me off already. At this point, being so close to each other was making us both impatient. I (not so subtly) looked down at her lips and instinctively wet my own with my tongue. When I looked back up, I caught her staring at mine with a dazed look on her face. Eventually her eyes met mine again, their color much darker now. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She asked.
I would've smiled at how she felt the need to ask for my consent if the huskiness in her voice didn't completely distract me. "Yes." I whispered immediately, sounding a little too eager. But I didn't care. I just needed this. I needed her. And if Siyeon's swift movements were any indication, I would say she needed me too.
In a split second she closed the distance between us. I had inhaled and held my breath, feeling my heart hammering painfully in my chest. My eyes fluttered shut, allowing me to focus solely on the feeling of her soft, warm lips against mine. The pit of my stomach burned and I started to feel light and dizzy, like I was floating in outer space. Everything around us seemed to fade to the background, making it feel like we were the only two people in existence. And finally, in that moment, I realized there was no escaping destiny...
I loved her more than I would ever love anyone else in this world.