i just love my husbands and i wanted to write something. i really enjoy the stoner sapnap trope as well. the title is a beatles song that john lenon wrote right after he started smoking weed... i just thought the title was cute for a confession fic. enjoy my beautiful people.
Summary: Sapnap likes to get high. Karl's never been high
Word Count: 3881- Fluff💚
The cold autumn breeze brushed across his flushed cheeks. The roof under him felt cold on his palms as he looked up into the dark sky. The stars twinkled bright as he exhaled smoke through his chapped lips. A small smile appeared on his face and he heard the window opening and closing behind him, the latch creaking as it was pushed closed.
"It's so cold, why are you out here?" Sapnap hummed turning to see the person who was joining him. "Sapnap, it's like 48 degrees out here." They said checking the temperature on their phone.
"It feels nice, plus do you want the apartment to smell like weed, Karl?" Sapnap said turning back to the beautiful night sky. His eyes scanned the sky looking for random shapes and constellations not even knowing what to look for.
"No!" Karl laughed sitting next to Sapnap, pulling his warm sweater sleeves over his hands, the action making Sapnap's face hot despite the cold air around them. "I just don't want you to get sick out here." He added sheepishly.
"I'm just going to finish this bowl then go inside." Sapnap said bringing the lighter to the bowl of the pipe and heating the plant that was in it. When smoke started to produce, he brought his lips to the end of the pipe, thumb over the carb, pulling the smoke deep into his lungs. He held it in and looked over at Karl, his expression calm as he watched the younger boy. He looked like he was deep in thought as he brought his sweater pawed hand up to his mouth.
"What is it like to be high?" Karl asked nervously. The question took Sapnap by surprise and he finally let the smoke free. He didn't answer and just grabbed his hand pushing his pipe into it. Karl giggled and pushed it back to him. "I think that would be too much for me." Sapnap thought for a moment, his face flushing at the intrusive thought. He shook his head, as if that would actually help clear the image, and giggles.
"It's fun." He said simply, turning to once again look at the starry sky.
"Thanks for the amazing explanation, Sapnap. I now truly understand what it's like to be high." Karl said rolling his eyes. His eyes scanned the others side profile before turning and looking at the sky with him. "I want to know what it's like, but I'm... scared?" He said leaning back on his elbows head falling further back, staring straight up.
Thoughts flooded Sapnap's mind again, knowing a way the boy could get high with out really smoking anything himself. He felt bad feeling like this for his friend and roommate, but he couldn't help it. The way he smiles, the sweater paws that are a constant part of his outfit, his little giggles when Sapnap tells a shitty joke. It started at the beginning of quarantine when the two became ultimately stuck together. He didn't know why he started feeling this way, but he started seeing the little things Karl was doing. Picking up on stuff he had never seen before. The way he runs his hand through his fluffy hair made Sapnap's stomach flip, and the smile he gave him when it was just them 2 made his heart stutter.
"Um, do you wanna try something? You can get high with out hitting this." He said motioning his pipe around in the air. He turned to see the other's head fallen back, staring at the sky. His hair flopped back, softly blowing in the wind. The older boy turned to him with a conflicted look on his face.
"What would I have to do?" Karl asked curiously. Sapnap's face flushed at the question. They looked at each other in silence for a moment before Karl sat up, setting his hands in his lap. Sapnap shook his head and looked down at roof, letting out a short huff of a laugh. He thought about explaining it but decided it would probably be better to just show him. He looked down at the bowl in his hands seeing it was still lit.
"When I breathe out you breathe in, mouth open." Was all he said as he took a long hit. He carefully set down the pipe on the roof before turning completely towards the older boy beside him, grabbing his neck and pulling him close. His heart began beating faster as he was close enough to see the light freckles across his nose. He tapped Karl's chin trying to get his attention, getting him to open his mouth.
Karl's eyes found Sapnap's and his breath hitched. When he felt the light tap on his chin he slowly let his jaw go slack. Sapnap leaned closer, lips inches from his. He felt the slow exhale of smoke on his lips. He breathed in the smoke eyes fluttering closed as he subconsciously leans against the touch on his cheek. He suddenly felt cold as Sapnap pulled away still looking into Karl's eyes, flushes on both of their faces.
"Is that it?" Karl said looking at him expectantly. Sapnap smiled and swiped his thumb across Karl's warm face once more before dropping his hand back to his lap.
"Well, you'll have to do it more than once to actually feel something but, that's it." He said taking a hit for himself, red never leaving his face. Karl giggled as he turned Sapnap's face toward him and pulling him forward before he could exhale. His body stiffened as Karl did the exact same thing Sapnap did, tapping his chin to get his attention and waiting for the exhale. Sapnap relaxed into the touch, closing his eyes and exhaling the smoke into his face one more time. They repeated this until the entire bowl was smoked. Sapnap dumped the ash onto the tray and set the pipe down beside it, Karl still holding onto his neck from the last shotgun.
"Ok, I'm done now." Karl said once the smoke had been inhaled into his lungs. He pulled away and rested on his elbows leaving Sapnap frozen. He was clearly unaware at the effect that had on the younger boy as he leaned back down to his elbows. The sat in silence for a while before Karl started rolling his head side to side with a goofy smile.
"Karl, what are doing?" Sapnap said turning to the man, laughing.
"My head feels empty, and fuzzy." He said lolling his head to the side and giggling. "It feels funny" He dropped his head to lean all the way back, the only thing in his view being the tall trees and dark sky.
"Do you feel okay? Like you're gonna pass out or anything?" He said looking concerned, he probably should've told him to tap out after the 5th hit but he couldn't resist holding Karl in his hands.
"No." He stated simply before sitting all the way up, slightly swaying while he sat there.
"Okay. Do u need anything?" He didn't want this to be a bad trip for Karl, not that he wanted Karl to be a full out stoner, but maybe it would make his nights on the roof less lonely if he had someone up there with him.
Karl had started coming to sit with him only a month ago. It had gotten colder and he liked to scold the younger boy to get reactions. It didn't work anymore though, but he still came to see his friend despite having been stuck with him the entire day.
"Nick, I'll be fineeeee" Karl said pointing a finger at his face, "There's no need to worry."
"I'm not." Sapnap lied through his teeth, laughing along at the comment. He smiled at the mention of his name, never hearing it from his friend.
"Come on, you always are." Karl winked at him making his face hot again. "Just admit it, you're a simp"
"It makes me a simp for caring?" Sapnap asked. Karl's eyes widened and he laughed.
"See! You do care, you just admitted it." Sapnap shook his head and laughed.
"Ok fine, I do care. I just don't want this to be a bad experience for you." He said truthfully. He'd drive an hour just to get Karl anything he may need, maybe even to a different state. He wanted him to have fun, unlike the first time he had gotten high.
His friend had drug him to a party because the girl he'd liked for forever invited him and he 'couldn't go with out Sapnap' to 'be his wingman'. What actually happened that night was Sapnap went outside to get some air because the party had become too loud. He walked out, a loud smell instantly hitting his nose. He looked over to see his friend laying in the grass, a blunt between his fingers. Some peer pressure later he was high in this girl's bathroom shaking, no idea why. Later his friend explained that he needed to eat something sweet because his blood sugar had gotten low from the amount he smoked. (it was a lot....)
"I'm hungry" Karl said trying to stand up, wobbling slightly. "And i'm going back down." Karl said crawling down and laying on the roof. Sapnap giggled at the boy in front of him.
"What do you want?"
"A burger." Karl said simply intertwining his fingers on his stomach, staring at the sky. Sapnap laughed and stood up.
"Come on, you said it yourself earlier 'it's too cold'. Let's go inside, maybe there's places we can order from." He held his hand out to Karl which he gladly took. He helped him up quickly before grabbing the stuff and heading inside.
An hour later they were both lounging peacefully on the couch in silence. They had just finished the food they'd ordered and were stuffed.
"Sapnap?" Karl said in a hushed tone.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for letting me do that with you. You came up with a way to do it and not make me touch that thing, and you didn't make fun of me." Karl explained, both at the end of their high. The food and water that Sapnap forced Karl to drink had a sobering effect. Sapnap huffed out air and smiled at him.
"Of course dude." They talked for a while before Karl had announced that he was tired and wanted to go to bed, heading out of the room and flopping onto his bed.
The next time Sapnap was on the roof, Karl was right there with him, peacefully sitting in Sapnap's sweatshirt after he complained about being cold but not wanting to go to the other side of the apartment to get a sweater. He felt a little more bold than usual today.
"Sapnap, what if I hit it?" He asked fiddling at the hem of Sapnap's sweatshirt as he packed the weed into the bowl.
"If you want, I can hold it for you too" Sapnap grabbed the lighter and waited to see what the other would say before lighting it. He gave a small nod and Sapnap held the lighter to it and lit it, taking a long hit before putting it up to Karl's mouth. He exhaled his smoke and spoke. "Pull hard, like you're sucking on a straw, but not too hard or the weed will come through the pipe, and trust me, it doesn't taste good." He said laughing.
He lit it once more and held it to Karl's mouth, thumb covering the carb. Karl pulled in and after a few seconds Sapnap pulled it away, watching expectantly, waiting for a cough. Karl tried to hold it in but immediately coughed up the smoke. Sapnap handed him his water that he brought and rubbed his shoulder, barely even registering that he was doing it. Karl caught his breath and chugged half of the bottle.
"Yeah, maybe we should just do what we did before." He said turning red and handing the water bottle back to Sapnap. Sapnap smiled and flushed taking the water bottle and putting it down carefully so it wouldn't roll off the roof.
"Okay. Yeah. Sure." He said lighting the pipe once more. He scooted close to Karl and grabbed his belt loop, twisting the older boy to face him. Karl squeeked and flushed at the action. Sapnap brought the pipe to his lips, captivating Karl. He felt hypnotized as he watched his lips as they pulled the smoke into his lungs. Sapnap looped his hand around the back of Karl's neck pulling him close to his lips, closer than any time they'd done it before. Karl's eyes found Sapnap's, which were glued to his lips and hooded. Karl's breath hitched at the sight in front of him. Sapnap slowly breathed out the smoke, centimeters from Karl's lips. There was absolutely no reason for them to be that close in the first place, Sapnap could have honestly just smoked in the same room as Karl and he would get somewhat high from it, but here they were, insanely close to each other on the cold roof, lips almost touching.
After the smoke was exhaled, neither moved from where they were. They stayed hovering centimeters apart, breath fanning each other's lips. Karl was sure his heart was going to beat out of his chest, he was also sure that Sapnap could hear it. It was all he could hear, the loud thumping deafening him. Karl swore that Sapnap started to lean in before the wind blew hard, slamming the open window closed. They jumped hard and flew away from each other.
"What the honk?" Karl said laughing while Sapnap looked like he shit himself. Karl saw this and laughed harder basically forgetting the entire exchange that just happened. "Your face! Oh my god!" His face was red in embarrassment, not sure if it was because of the small exchange or being scared of the slamming window.
"Listen, what if it would've been a murderer...? They could've climbed through my window and slammed it shut and pushed us off the roof. Don't underestimate crazy people, Jacobs" Karl smiled at the nickname, the odd tension gone as they both laughed and returned to what they were doing. After the bowl was smoked they went back inside, Karl flopped on Sapnap's bed while he sat in his desk chair across the room.
"Nick?" Karl questioned from his bed, already feeling fuzzy. Sapnap hummed in response waiting for an answer. "Why do you smoke? It's not bad but why?" The question took Sapnap by surprise but he answered honestly. He told him about his horrible first experience then explained why that made him try it again then ultimately why it had become almost a daily thing.
"I could honestly live with out it just fine, but I like the way it helps me escape, even just for a little bit. Whether it may be a horrible day or an amazing day, smoking that and looking at the stars is relaxing to me. It gives me time to think about life."
"That... you sounded so much like a stoner then." Karl laughed clutching his stomach. Once he calmed down he sat up to see Sapnap looking at him with a calm expression, almost loving. The gaze made him flush. "What?" Karl asked sheepishly.
"Nothing. It's just, you make it more fun. You don't have to get high to make it fun though. We don't even have to do some chaotic thing, we could literally just be sitting here in silence and you'd make it better by just being here." Sapnap said smiling at the older boy, clearly oblivious to how much that would effect him.
"Oh hush." Karl said giggling trying to play it off. It was nearly impossible because his face was redder than a tomato and his voice cracked as he said it but if Sapnap noticed he didn't point it out.
"No I'm serious. We don't have to pop off," Sapnap said giggling at his own word choice, "in order for me to enjoy spending time with you. As long as you're here, it's fun." Sapnap stood from his chair walked over to him, sitting next to him on the bed. The old mattress dipped as he sat close to Karl, pulling their thighs together. They both flushed at the contact. Karl looked at where they were touching and smiled. He looked back up and turned his head to look at Sapnap, but when he turned Sapnap was centimeters away from his face, breath fanning his lips once more, this time no excuse.
"Sapnap?" Karl asked eyes scanning his face before falling on soft pink lips. Sapnap reached up and gently placed his hand on his cheek, rubbing small circles into it. Karl felt his heart beat out of his chest, and if it weren't for Sapnap's grounding touch to his face he could've passed out.
"Karl, I-" He stopped himself backing away from his face slightly to hang his head. He looked back up with glossy eyes, scanning Karl's expression for discomfort. Wordlessly, he moved over to his pillow and laid down, making grabby hands at the older boy. Karl giggled and shook his head before laying his head on his chest, not with out his face growing the hottest it's been. He felt arms protectively wrap around his waist, smiling as he snuggled closer to Sapnap, sticking his nose in the crook of his neck. He felt the other tense before relaxing and rubbing his thumb in soft circles in the small of his back.
Karl felt his eyes grow heavy, staying awake becoming progressively harder as he felt warm and safe. He almost let sleep overcome him, warmth all around him contrasting the frost on the window.
"I think I'm in love with you." Sapnap whispered after he thought Karl had fallen asleep. "And I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep that in." He kissed the top of his head and fell asleep shortly after. Karl smiled, waiting until he was actually asleep before pressing a light kiss on his jaw.
The next morning Karl woke up to weight draped over his waist. He slowly tilted his head to see what it was when he remembered what happened last night. His heart flutters as he finally meets the face of the person trapping him. Sapnap was already awake and staring lovingly at him, a fond smile on his face. Karl flushes and hides his face on the chest of the younger boy.
"Good morning, Karl." Sapnap said fondly, raking a hand through his own hair as Karl looked up and watched this action, drooling over his arms. He smiled as he caught Karl staring and ruffled his hair.
"Um, good morning." Karl responds, flustered at the entire position he was in. Sapnap removes his arm from around him and sits against the head board and stretches. Karl sits up and stretches out his legs, bones popping.
"Was it that uncomfortable?" Sapnap said laughing.
"It was actually. I'll never ever be doing that again." Karl said giggling. Sapnap tried to pout but couldn't keep the face due to Karl's goofy smile. "I actually slept the best I have in a while." Karl admitted sheepishly, playing with the sweatshirt sleeves
"Good." Sapnap smiles and climbs out of his bed. "What do you want for breakfast? I was thinking of making pancakes." Sapnap says pausing and turning to lean on the door frame.
"Sounds good." Karl smiled, suddenly feeling cold as Sapnap left his view. He brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them with a huge grin plastered on his face. He felt giddy as he sighed into his knees. "I'm so far gone." With that he stood up and caught a glimpse of himself in the full length mirror Sapnap had on his wall. He smiled as he looked at the sweatshirt, it wasn't what he would normally wear because it was actually his size but he loved the way he looked in it. It was still long enough on him for him to make sweater paws so he was happy with that.
He walked out into the kitchen to hear Sapnap humming a random song. After a second he recognized it as Sweater Weather, and his stomach did somersaults at how utterly adorable it was to watch him hum and dance around the kitchen while making breakfast. This wasn't like this is the first time Sapnap had ever done something like that but he seemed extra happy today and it made Karl just as happy, maybe even more. He walked over and started to help him and Sapnap just smiled as Karl grabbed plates and put them on the island.
They finished breakfast and sat and ate in mostly silence. It was comfortable as the two sat close enough to bump shoulders, just stuffing their face with syrup covered pancakes. Karl smiled, happier than he's ever been.
"Hey, Nick?" Karl asked while they were cleaning up their mess. Sapnap hummed at him, closing the dishwasher and throwing his rag that he had been using over his shoulder. "I heard what you said last night." Sapnap choked on his spit and almost dropped the plate he'd been about to put away. His knees felt weak as he began to panic.
"Oh my god. I'm- Karl, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that I-" Sapnap was freaking out, angry at himself for not keeping it to himself. Then he remembered what he did right after. "I understand if you hate me now I cannot believe- I'm so sorry. I really-" Sapnap was cut off roughly by something pressing against his mouth.
Once he realized what it was, his eyes widened before he melted. Karl was kissing him. Like really kissing him. His hands found Karl's waist, while Karl's remained on the side of Sapnap's face. The kiss was urgent, but soft. Karl pulled away and Sapnap chased his lips and Karl giggled. He looked into Sapnap's eyes and ran a hand through his hair resting it back on his cheek afterwards.
"I don't hate you." Karl said pressing a kiss to Sapnap's nose softly making him giggle. "It's the opposite actually." Sapnap grinned from ear to ear before grabbing Karl's chin and pulling him into a soft, emotion filled kiss. They pulled away and Sapnap's eyes roamed over Karl's face, admiring the way he looked up close.
"Wow. Um-." Sapnap said dropping his face to hide in Karl's neck, smiling against it tickling the skin. They both giggled, giddy at this new development. "Karl, I really like you." Sapnap said pulling back and holding Karl's face gently in his palms. Karl reached up and held the hands on his face.
"I really like you too." Karl said smiling before pulling the younger boy into another kiss.
Sapnap felt dizzy. He finally got the quick kisses when no one was looking, the silly whispered conversations that no one else could hear, sitting on the roof at 4 am smoking and just talking, the lingered touches and glances, and he finally got the boy, that he always wanted.