~Monday~
After I was one of the last ones in the cafeteria helping clean up, I followed everyone else back to the auditorium for the start of service. When I walked inside the lights were out and the upbeat countdown read 2:35. Moira, Jayden, and the rest of their group was back where we sat before dinner, but they were acting like jerks. How could she not tell how annoying he was.
I searched for my youth group until I found Trisha's bright red hair in a neat bun atop her head. I huffed to where Blythe and Trisha were sitting and sat beside them.
"What happened to your new friends?" Blythe's words cut as sharp as her diamond-studded earrings.
"They're acting like jerks." I growled.
"You can hang out with us." Trisha offered, her smile bright. Blythe's expression was still sour, her mean girl stare. I saw her use that look on many girls in our youth group over time.
Whatever I did, Blythe was going to ignore me, but Trisha and I talked about anything and everything. Blythe was the one who introduced me and Riley to Trisha, but she quickly became a close member to our circle. She was quick-witted and could get along with practically everyone. She didn't have an enemy in sight.
By the time the countdown ended and worship began, my head was starting to clear. The band opened with an upbeat song by newsboys and almost the entire camp went to the front, clapping as they went.
Maybe they weren't in the wrong. A voice in my head whispered. Maybe you were.
I could feel the anger dissipating. I was at camp and Jayden did find my precious notebook.
I need to apologize.
I left our row and weaved around the people congregating and worshiping at the front. I had no idea where I was going, but something inside of me did. I moved around a boy jumping and singing with his friends and smiled. This atmosphere of praise and unity, this was camp.
Finally finding Moira in the sea of praise and worship I stood beside her and clapped along. She looked at me and smiled.
"I wondered where you were." She yelled over the music.
"I just wanted to apologize, I know I acted like a jerk. I'm sorry." I shouted.
"It's okay, don't worry about it." Moira smiled, lifting a hand.
Just like that, really? That was it? Most of my friends ignored me when I acted like a jerk.
I still needed to apologize to Jayden, but he was nowhere to be found. I looked amongst the crowd before I saw him worshipping at his seat, Jacob was beside him, slouching in a chair with his arms crossed. I guess Jayden's apology would have to wait until after worship.
~~~
"Good evening, youth camp!" The speaker for this week greeted. He looked very young, not much older than twenty-five. His black jeans were ripped and he wore a plain grey shirt. His dark leather bible flopped as he talked with his hands.
"How about that worship? Give it up for your worship team!" The camp erupted into cheers and claps as the band walked off the stage to sit with people they knew.
"I guess I should tell you a little bit about myself." He grabbed the metal pulpit and brought it off the stage, setting it on the tile with a light clang. A member of the worship team brought him a stool.
"My name is Daniel Winters. I'm twenty-six and I've been married to my wife Joanne for three years." He motioned for his wife to join him. Her long braids were piled into a messy bun on her head and the cream-colored dress she wore matched her gold earrings very well. He kissed her cheek before letting her sit back down again, the camp cheered as she made her way to her seat.
"I didn't grow up in church and I certainly didn't have any interest in God when I was your age." Daniel took a drink of water. "Not until my senior year of high school when this black girl in my math class invited me to join a church club at school and I thought to myself 'why not?' So I gave it a shot and not only did I find God, but I also found my passion for talking to young people about God." He took a seat in the stool.
"I should also probably mention, the black girl is now my wife." Some people laughed while others 'awwed.'
"Anyway, enough of that. Tonight I'm going to talk about love. Open your bibles to first Corinthians chapter thirteen, verses one through seven." He paused while the sound of rustling pages filled the room.
"These verses say, 'If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." His every words was animated as he read, glancing up a couple of times to make sure we were still playing attention.
"'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.'" he paused before starting his sermon.
"Many times when we think of love we think of our family, or maybe our partner, or maybe even a TV show we watch. But love is so much more than that. In these verses Paul is saying that if we can do mighty things, but we don't have love, then we're nothing. If we have enough faith to move mountains, but we don't love each other or God, then we aren't fulfilling the purpose that God has for our lives. But this brings up another valuable point. What is love?" He grabbed the open Bible from the pulpit and slowly began to pace. Moira was hurriedly scratching notes on her own notebook beside me, but I knew that if I started writing anything, I would no longer pay attention to his words.
"The Bible defines love right here. It says love is patient and kind. It doesn't envy or boast. Love is not prideful or rude. It places others before itself and it doesn't get angry easily. Who here has trouble with their temper?" hands raised around the room. "Me too. Road rage, amiright?" the auditorium busted into laughs.
"Love doesn't hold grudges, and loves what is true. It always protects, it always trusts, and it always perserveres. Love never fails, people! I added that 'people' part." More chuckles.
"Guys, I want you to keep in mind what love is. When Jesus says that we need to love our neighbors as ourselves, he's telling us that we shouldn't hold grudges, or be rude." Amens popped in the air.
"Now I know how frustrating it is when the barista gets your order wrong at Starbucks, or when someone cuts you off while you're running late, I get that! But we still need to show love to those people. Not just those people. We need to show love to the people in our governments and in our schools. Even that one relative who always brings up politics and refuses to admit that you're right deserves love. Even though we don't always agree with them does not mean we can't show them God's love." The worship team made their way to the stage and pastor brought his pulpit and stool back where it was.
"I know some of you are having a tough time loving someone in your life right now. Maybe they treated you unfairly or hurt you in some other way. I want you to pray that God helps you to forgive them and love them tonight. Whatever you might be going through, abuse, family drama, whatever it might be, God can take care of it." Kids began leaving their seats one after the other as the worship team played a slower song.
His message was amazing, but his altar call I didn't want to participate in. I wasn't holding a grudge. Not one bit. I had great friends, my family was supportive, past relationships were a little rocky but whose past wasn't a little complicated? Right? Granted, my ex boyfriend was vicious monster who made me angry at just the mere thought of him, but that was normal. Right?
~~~
Slowly the row almost entirely cleared out until it was just me and Jacob. Jacob hadn't moved since service started, just continued to slouch in his chair and barely said anything when Jayden talked to him. Something in me said he wasn't interested in church.
"Nothing to pray about?" I asked. I don't know what came over me, but it was too late to take the words back. Oh how I wished I could time travel.
"Plenty. I'm just not interested in hashing out my life story to a random stranger." He retorted with a humph.
"You don't have to go to the stairs to pray. God can hear prayers prayed inside your head." What was I doing?
He scoffed, jumping out of his seat. "Oh yeah? Then where was God when I- nevermind!" Jacob stormed off before I had a chance to respond.
Stupid, Blake, stupid. Now you made him mad.
The stairs and front of the stage were filled with people praying and worshiping. The atmosphere was so thick I could almost touch it. The sun had already set, but service would continue into the night.
~~~
Moira, Ryan, Angelina and Bianca soon returned to the row, but Jayden went to find Jacob.
"Why didn't you go to the altar?" Moira asked, taking her seat beside me.
"I prayed here." it was true. I prayed for my parents, my sisters. I also prayed that Blythe would forgive me for whatever I did. While praying I quickly found myself praying for these new friends of mine. They were so different from the friends I grew up with, but I promised myself I wouldn't get attached. Usually, camp friends stayed friends for a few months at most, I didn't want to get too attached to these six before we went our separate ways.
Soon our DYD came back on stage to dismiss us while some others finished their prayers. Quietly, I followed Moira and the others outside, Jayden and Jacob still nowhere to be found.
We walked inside the gym where a game of horse was being played at one of the goals. Dodging basketballs and the line of people outside of concessions, Moira, Bianca and I made our way to the camp store, chatting about past camp experiences.
It wasn't much bigger than a small Sunday school classroom and tables filled with various merchandise took up all of the space. There were shirts from past years, this year's shirts, notebooks, hats, pens, pencils, pop sockets, and it seemed to me like they were yet to catch the memo that fidget spinners were a long dead trend. I grabbed a small flashlight with the camp logo and let the ladies at the register punch my camp card. They used waterproof punch cards instead of cash so that we didn't lose real money.
I sat on the ground outside of the door, hoping a basketball wouldn't hit me. I dropped the flashlight in my bag before grabbing my notebook. As soon as I opened the front cover a voice startled me and I slammed it shut.
"Sorry." Jayden stood over me, hands in the pockets of his jeans.
I exhaled in relief. "It's okay."
"I didn't mean to make you mad. Honestly, I was just trying to find the owner of the notebook." Jayden sat beside me.
"No, I should apologize. I shouldn't have exploded. It's just that I don't share my songs with anyone and then you read it without my permission..." I traced the notebook's pattern not knowing what else to say.
"Do you sing?" Jayden asked.
"No, but I play the guitar and piano." I blurted. All I wanted was to write my song, but every time I tried, something interrupted me. That song wasn't getting finished anytime soon, was it?
"You should hear Moira sing." He said. The look in his eyes told me he liked her. "She's good. Leader of our youth group's worship team."
"Really?" She never told me.
"She doesn't like to brag."
"You have feelings for her, don't you?"
"No I don't."
"Oh, come on Jayden, it's written all over your face."
"No, we broke up a few months ago." He confessed. He looked like he was about to say more, but quickly decided against it.
"Hey, you guys." Angelina and Ryan sat in front of us, ice cream cones in hand.
"I forgot they had ice cream." Jayden mentioned.
"Yeah, man, soft serve." Ryan piped in.
Great, more people.
"Where's my sister?" Angelina asked, trying to lick the ice cream before it melted on her hand.
"She's inside the store with Moira." I said. I went back to my song. Hopefully they could keep each other company.
"Where did you go after service?" Ryan asked.
"I went to find Jacob."
"Where was he this time?"
"Beating up some poor kid he said messed with his girlfriend." Jayden rolled his eyes. Angelina and I shared a look.
"How did he not get caught? There are adults all over campus."
"I don't know, man. He doesn't listen."
"How did he get past the youth pastors?"
"Look, I don't know." Jayden's sigh was loud as he rubbed his hand through his hair.
"He's going to get caught one of these days." Angelina chimed in. Her ice cream long gone.
"You think we haven't tried to tell him?" Ryan shook his head.
"Tried to tell who?" Moira and Bianca were finally finished shopping. We stood up and walked outside.
"We're talking about Jacob." Jayden explained.
"God help us..." Bianca shook her head. "We've tried almost everything to help him."
"I think all we can do is trust God." Moira said.
~~~
Moira, Angelina, Bianca, and I were the only ones in the room when we said good night to the boys. It was the perfect opportunity to ask Moira what was up with Jacob.
We were sitting on her bunk when I asked. "So, I take it Jacob beats up a lot of people."
"We're lucky enough he hasn't tried to hurt us." Angelina said from across the room.
"His parents aren't good influences and he was never in church. His mom's a workaholic, while his dad can't keep a job or stay sober. Plus they're constantly on the verge of a divorce. It's not a very good home life." Moira braided her long hair as she talked, her hands moving faster than mine ever could.
Before I could answer, the hallway filled with girls and our room quickly became packed. Not that I had anything to say. It made me appreciate my hectic family a little more.
Deep in thought, I climbed off her bed and got ready to go to sleep. It was the end of the first day and we still had a whole new week ahead of us.