~ KENMA ~
"I didn't know you and Shiro were close."
I glanced at the dark-haired boy who had just spoken. Beneath the flickering streetlights, his gunmetal blue eyes seemed even more alluring than usual. And then there's me with my creepy yellow eyes.
"I could say the same to you," I replied. "But I don't think we're exactly 'close' right now."
"Really? I wouldn't say that. You two seem to get along pretty well."
"I guess." I mumbled absentmindedly, my eyes averting back to the dimly lit ground in front of me.
Why did he have to come? Of all the days he could've picked, Akaashi just had to choose tonight. He had to choose tonight to waltz in with his pretty eyes and natural charm, while I sat there having nothing to say like a brick. Couldn't he at least show up after I leave?
I mean, I didn't have anything against him and if I'm being perfectly honest, he was among the few people whose company I didn't mind. But for some reason being in the same room as him made me feel so... unnecessary. The moment Akaashi stepped foot into the house, I was no longer needed.
"Kenma, how do you feel about her?"
"I..." The question hit me out of nowhere. I wasn't sure how to respond, so I simply chose to laugh it off. "Come on man, you know I don't talk about feelings."
The truth was, I didn't know the answer. When faced with a difficult question, especially one without a singular correct answer, the most straight forward option is to skip it. And that was precisely what I decided to do.
"Yeah, yeah... we all know you're the antisocial boy with no feelings." He chuckled, elbowing me playfully in the side. "But surely there's more to you than that."
"Honestly, I don't know," I shrugged. This was the most accurate answer I could come up with for the time being. Skip and uno reverse. "What about you?"
"I really like her."
"What?"
Wrong move. I shouldn't have played that card.
"I think I really like Shiro." He repeated, smiling a little to himself as he did so.
My breath hitched in my throat and I coughed out a shaky laugh. "You mean as a friend, right?"
"Well... not exactly," he answered in the same idle voice, "I kind of want us to be more."
Of course he does. Even though I had already half expected those words, nothing could prepare me for the moment I heard them. I felt my heart drop as a sickening feeling rose in my stomach. I shouldn't have asked.
"Really?" I asked again, hoping foolishly for a different response. "I didn't know she was your type. I mean, you two are so different."
"They say opposites attract, right?"
"Yeah, but... see, you're very... on track, if you know what I mean. You've got your own shit together and you're surprisingly good at keeping other people's shits together as well. You're like the ideal high schooler, with good grades and sporting merits." I continued to reason, spitting out words as if one of them was going to hit him in the head and change his mind.
"But Shiro... she's a hardcore gamer who, funnily enough, doesn't give a damn about her own life. She's the girl who would sacrifice an entire semester's worth of sleep and fail every subject to maintain her 1.25 KD." An unconscious smile began to form on my face, as I unintentionally rambled on. "She's the girl who laughs at my borderline suicidal jokes and even contributes to them from time to time. But ironically, she would do anything to keep herself and her teammates from dying in any game."
"That's exactly why I think we'd be good together." Akaashi intervened, his opinions not at all swayed. "Shiro needs someone to hold her life together, keep her from self destructing. She needs someone to check up on her, bring her food, make sure she gets enough sleep and be her support system." He then turned towards me with a smile. "And... I think I'm not a bad candidate for the job."
"But..." This time, I cut myself off. He did have a point. I sighed and swallowed the words I didn't have the courage to say.
"I mean, if I can manage to keep Bokuto in check, Shiro shouldn't be too hard," he casually remarked. "By the way, you seem to know her really well. Mind helping me out?"
"Help? What do you mean?"
"What else?" The taller boy laughed. "Kenma, would you please be my wing man."
What, now?
"Uh... I don't know..." I mumbled, turning away to avoid his eyes. But this was one question I knew I couldn't skip. "What does a wingman do anyway?"
"Honestly, I'm not too sure. Just give me some tips?"
"Like you'd need any." Seeing a small window of opportunity, I tried to dodge the question, but to no avail.
"Surely you can give me some tips," he prodded. "You two talk a lot. There's bound to be things that you know but I don't."
Things I'd rather not share.
"Come on, don't be a dog."
"I'm a cat." I replied bluntly. Wait... I blinked twice, taking in what I had just said. Just this afternoon, Shiro had called me a cat and now I was beginning to identify myself as one. What is this sorcery?
"Yeah, whatever. But please... help me?"
I sighed. "Fine."
What else could I have said?
~~~~
"Hey, Fire, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, of course," Shiro replied. "But is it something serious, though? You know people don't usually have to ask before asking a question... because that's like the whole point."
"It's not exactly serious," I reassured her, before immediately doubling back on my own words. "I mean, it can be... depends on how you take it."
"Damn, now you've made me really curious. What is it? Ask away."
I took a deep breath, as I always did before saying something either cheesy to the point where it's cringeworthy or capable of draining me of all my remaining dignity. "What's your ideal type?"
"U-ratio." She shot out the answer faster than the bullet speed of the gun she had just mentioned. "I thought you already knew that," she added in a matter-of-fact way.
"I... I wasn't referring to the guns." I corrected her, rather awkwardly. "Let's leave the guns for a bit, you artillery-obsessed maniac."
"Oh, sorry, my bad," she muttered with a soft laugh. "So what were you talking about, then?"
Damn, it. She had just made it even harder for me to say it. For some reason, it seemed to be universally agreed that repeating something twice made it humiliating. Why must she always do this to me?
"Now you've made it even harder..." I mumbled under my breath, before speaking up again, approaching the awkward topic once more. "Anyways, as I was saying... what's your ideal type of partner?"
"You."
I almost fell out of my chair from the impact of that single, seemingly insignificant word. "I beg your pardon?"
Her reply came too quickly and too unexpectedly. It was as if she didn't even have to think about it, as if she already had an answer in mind all along.
"It's you, of course. Who else would I possibly want to be my partner?"
"Wait... we're not still talking about the game, are we?" I asked suspiciously, refusing to believe what I had just heard, in case it was just a sad misinterpretation.
"Well, yeah..."
I knew it.
But before I could force out another stiff laugh to hide the plain fact that I was currently not feeling too great, Shiro spoke again. "But that's only part of it."
"What do you mean?" I asked again with way too much hope. Clearly, I haven't yet learnt my lesson.
"Shit, I shouldn't have said that..." She groaned in frustration, mumbling under her breath. "It's hard to explain without embarrassing myself."
"Welcome to my wonderful world." I commented with a sarcastic laugh. "But go on."
"Okay, so I've actually been thinking about this for some time now. I'm sure I've told you this before, but you're actually the most reliable teammate I've ever had so I've been wondering... what are you like in real life?"
"Uh... why don't you take a guess?"
"I'm guessing you're the guy who's low-key popular with girls, but doesn't engage in such trivial matters. You've got solid grades and from what I've gathered, you seem to be quite athletic as well." Then, her voice softened as she spoke the next words, taking her time to choose each word carefully. "And to be honest... I think you'd make a pretty good boyfriend."
So what's stopping you? I wanted to say that but of course, I didn't. "What makes you think that?" I laughed nervously.
"A lot of things actually." She replied rather straightforwardly, seemingly unfazed by this matter, unlike me. "You just seem really type of boyfriend who is considerate, thoughtful and knows how to take care of someone. The nice guy who does cute things like bringing you food, discretely checking up on how you're doing and comforting you when you're sad."
If only I am really like that. I couldn't even look after myself properly, how was I supposed to be 'good' at taking care of someone else. As sad as it sounds, I still needed Kuroo to wake me up for school.
"I'm sorry," she apologised, noticing my lack of response. "I'm probably creeping you out right now, I'll stop."
"No, not at all... it's alright."
"Really? But you don't sound alright."
Shit. I've spent too much time with Shiro. If she was already able to pick up my emotions just from my voice through the phone, she would would find out my identity in no time. This was getting dangerous. But I didn't want it to stop. Ever.
"What's wrong?" She asked again, with more concern than before. "Was it something I said?"
"No, really... I'm fine." I quickly assured her. This time, she remained quiet.
Maybe Akaashi was right. Shiro needed someone like him, who can take care of her and be there for her. She even said it herself. Her description of the ideal boyfriend was literally him. It was him all along. I was just either too blind or too stupid to realise. Or too stubborn to accept the truth. What in the world made me think it could've been me?
If I had any intelligence, I would stop now. At this point, I was just hurting myself.
"You know I don't like it when you do that." Shiro spoke again, after a period of prolonged silence.
"Do what?"
"Bottling up the shit that troubles you and hurting yourself in the process."
"What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about." I tried to laugh it off but she knew me more than I realised.
"Then why did you almost get killed last round? You weren't watching the radar, were you?"
"I... I don't know. It was just a mistake."
"You were distracted. That's why." She stated indifferently. "You're thinking about something else right now."
"Fine. You got me." There was no way around it. But I absolutely cannot let her in on my thoughts. Not this time.
"It's okay if you don't feel like sharing. It's not like I can force you to," she sighed, as if she had just read my mind. "But if you do need to talk, I'm always here. Don't forget that."
"I know." I smiled. "Thanks."
If only we could stay this way forever. I didn't want to risk losing Shiro as a friend. And yet a part of me so desperately longs for us to be something more. I knew I should stop but I couldn't convince myself to let this go.
"Hey, Fire?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you still my in-game girlfriend?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course, I am." She replied with a soft laugh. "Unless you're breaking up with me..."
"No, no, no... I would never do that." I quickly added, before asking again. "So, can I be your in-game boyfriend forever?"
"Well, it's not like I would be getting a real life boyfriend in this lifetime or the next, so yeah. Congratulations, you're stuck with me forever."
"Great. I'm totally fine with that." I smiled to myself, my confidence renewed by her words.
So what if Akaashi is her type? I am her in-game boyfriend. Right now nothing else mattered but the screen in front of me and the girl on the other side. Even though I knew I couldn't have Shiro in life, in game, she was mine.
And I'm happy with that.
~~~~
Hi! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, it's a bit uneventful I just needed to somewhat resolve the cliffhanger. But don't worry, more will happen soon, and another update is on its way.
I've just started school again and the amount of maths I have to do is suffocating. My dumbass thought it could manage both methods and specialist and do tutoring at the same time. Now I just want to drown.
~ krypto