‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙.
I awoke to the feeling of warm fingers touching mine.
I jolted awake and nearly rolled out of my bed as I twisted to see what was happening. I was disoriented at first, expecting the warm glow of a fire, or the smell of tea in the air, maybe Elda's voice murmuring lowly to Anastasia. But I found none of that and was instead met with the smell of damp earth and...people around me. There was snoring and the shifting of blankets as people adjusted their positions in their beds. I guess the rest of the initiates made their way back from the cafeteria.
Another grope to my fingers and I flinched, yanking my hand away from whoever was touching it. I saw a hand dip into the space under my mattress. My bunkmate. I squirmed onto my belly and looked down to see a boy lounging in the bed underneath me. He had his blankets kicked off and had one arm under his head. I couldn't make out much thanks to the little light, but I could see he had sharp cheekbones and curly brown hair.
"Hello there bunkmate," the boy whispered, raising his bushy, dark brows. He was handsome in a juvenile way, with his sweet curly hair and soft eyes. He sort of reminded me of a puppy.
"Why were you touching my hand?" I hissed, glaring at him and hoping he could see it in the dark.
"Easy there, tiger," he said, sitting up, a grin playing on his lips. "Your hand was hanging off your bed, I couldn't sleep, and suddenly my hand was reaching for yours. You know...your fingers are very cold. You probably have poor blood circulation, you should get that checked out."
"Poor blood circulation?" I hissed. "Who in the hells are you?"
"I'm Callan," he said, "I would offer you my hand, but you've already shaken it." His teeth flashed in the dark and I saw him laugh at his own joke. "You're new here. When did you come in?"
"Last night," I said.
"And what's the name of the girl with the peculiar hair?" I felt my cheeks grow cold and resisted the urge to flip the hair in question back over my shoulder. Even in the dark the white of my hair showed through. It practically glowed.
"Eira," I said.
"Well, it was a pleasure brushing fingertips with you, Eira," he said. "I'll sit with you at breakfast, you look like you could use a friend."
"What makes you think I don't have any friends?" I asked.
"You were sleeping when we walked in, it's not like you were waiting up in excitement for anyone. Not to mention, I haven't seen you around...anywhere. And I've been to a lot of places. My mom was a soldier so we moved around a lot with her." So Callan here was an oversharer it appeared.
"Maybe you've just missed me," I said, shrugging.
"I doubt that. I don't think I could forget a woman with white hair who wasn't a grandma." He said.
I wrinkled my nose at him. "Har-Har,"
I mocked. Making him grin up at me. I could already tell I was starting to like this boy. He somewhat reminded me of Marc, and how easily I got along with him. My heart ached at the memory of my best friend. I wonder how he was now, what he was doing with his life. If he was happy. I hoped he was happy. Marc deserved all the happiness in the world.
"I would recommend you remove yourself away from the edge of the bed," Callan whispered up at me.
"Why?" I asked
He opened his mouth to speak but then there was the sound of a loud horn blaring sounding throughout the room. I flinched so hard that I fell out of the bunk and smacked into the concrete floor. I groaned as I realized I had probably just gave myself a third-degree bruise.
"That's why," Callan said, shoving his sheets off of his legs and getting out of bed. He offered me a hand and I took it, ignoring the way he was chuckling at my fall.
"Get your asses out of bed!" a voice yelled from the front. "You have five minutes to get dressed and meet me outside the barracks. You better pray your comrades piss fast, soldiers." The person moved out of the room before I could see him properly but I caught a sight of brown hair.
The light suddenly flicked on, flooding the space with bright white illumination. Everyone groaned and a few people rolled over. I looked over at Callan who was already pulling his shirt off. I averted my gaze. And instead clambered up the ladder of my own bunk. Sitting on my matress, I sifted through the clothes in there. All the same. I pulled out a long black tunic and black pants and quickly pulled them on, glad I was somewhat concealed from being up higher.
"Yeah, take off the rest, baby!" I heard someone holler. I looked over my shoulder, my shirt covering my bare chest, to see a group of boys, all dressed, staring up at me. "You're new here. Wanna come over and say hello?" I felt myself blush blue and I turned away quickly, shoving my shirt on, not even bothering to change my breast wrap from yesterday. I'd have to do that later. Sacrifices were going to have to be made for the sake of my ego.
I grabbed my boots and threw them down to the floor before climbing down. I quickly slipped my feet into my shoes, tying the laces faster than I ever had before. "Do you know what they're going to make us do?" I asked, looking up at Callan who was leaning against the ladder.
"Nope. It's the first day of training for the rest of us too. We're all as clueless as you," he said. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
"Three minutes up!" someone yelled. Everyone began clambering out of the room and Callan and I followed. Callan and I made fast friends and as we walked he started talking to me about a strange dream he had had. I had never made a friend so fast before. Marc was my only ever real friend back home. I wondered if Callan was as lonely as I was if he was so desperate to make a friend.
"You should ignore those guys from before. They practically drooled at every girl as we got changed yesterday, you're nothing special, I can assure you."
"Oh gee, thanks," I deadpanned. "You really know how to talk to a girl, don't you?"
"You stroke my ego so," Callan said, smiling. We walked out of the barracks and up the stairs to the ground level. They kept the initiates down below the floor and kept the real soldiers up above us. Talk about physical job discrimination.
Initiates chatted among us as we walked. Some looked as exhausted as I felt, while others looked as chipper as Callan. I listened for any gossip of worth around me but I heard nothing of value. Mostly just people talking about what they were expecting from today, others complaining about how tired they were.
We walked out of the barracks and into the open air. I sucked it in deeply, not used to being so surrounded with others people's...smells. Because I really could smell everything now. And I was starting to think that that was more of a curse than a blessing. I shuddered at the thought of what these people smelt like after sweating for hours. The Gods really were out to get me afterall, weren't they?
There was a chill brushing against my cheeks, soft as a lover's caress. I let the cold sink into my bones and empower me. Where it had once weakened me, now all I felt was power. And that was a beautiful thing.
"Get over here, initiates!" a voice yelled, carrying in the wind. "Take any longer and the war will be done before you're finished!" It was the same voice of the man who had barked orders into our room. There were two people standing at the front of the miles-long stretch of grass next to the barracks. I recognized the woman as Helen, her golden hair was braided and flipped over her shoulder and she was practically beaming at us, bouncing on her heels in excitement. What was this...like Winter Solstice morning to her?
My gaze snagged on the man who was standing next to Helen. He was tall, with broad shoulders and hands lined with veins. His hair was a short crop of brown atop his head and did little to hide the sharp edges of his face. His jaw was lined with a shadow of stubble that creeped down his neck and into the neckline of his shirt. He was handsome, in a brute way, like he could rip a tree trunk straight from the ground and not even break a sweat. As I got closer, I could see that his eyes were a bright blue, a piercing blue. I fought the urge to shudder under the weight of that glare.
"Quick, wipe the drool off your chin before you get there," Callan whispered in my ear. I shoved him away from me with my shoulder.
"I wasn't drooling?" I said, glaring at him. I was ninety-nine percent sure I hadn't been drooling, but I quickly turned my head away and swiped my fingers against my chin just to make sure.
"I mean he is hot, I'll give him that. But he just looks so...meaty. I doubt he has an ounce of fat on his bones." He said, stroking his finger against his jaw as if he was in deep concentration.
"Well good for him, I'd take meaty over those noodle arms," I said, eyeing his slight figure.
"Hey! I'll have you know that the ladies in the town were drooling after these noodle arms." I let out a loud laugh.
"Oh, were they now?" He looked like he wanted to say something but then his eyes fell on something beyond us. I turned my gaze to see that the 'meaty' man was staring straight at us, his jaw clenched tightly.
"Care to share what you were laughing at so loudly before, initiate?" the man asked. I felt my whole body go tense as I was pinned under the intensity of his gaze. I shook my head stupidly. "Get in line," he snapped and I nearly jumped into the line the other soldiers had formed. My whole body was trembling as I clasped my hands in front of me like the dutiful soldier I was pretending to be. Pretend or not, that man scared the hell out of me.
"Now, if you're all focused enough," he said, shooting me a look. I saw the corners of his mouth lift up though and I felt a bit of that pressure in my chest ease up. He was amused. Thank the gods.
"He likes you," Callan whispered, barely moving his mouth. Wow, that was a talent I didn't even know people had. I wondered if he whispered when he shouldn't have a lot. Maybe he was a gossiper. Well, that would help out my need for information to send back to Elda.
I tapped my leg against his instead of responding, fighting off a smile of my own on my lips. I had never been noticed before by anyone back as a human. I knew I was fifty times more attractive as a fae than I had ever been before, but I hadn't thought of what that would mean in terms of how other people looked at me. Was I hot now? Desirable? The thought crossed my head once when I was younger and I nearly laughed out loud at the time. I thought myself none of those things before. But now...now I wasn't sure the same could be said.
"Welcome to the fae kings army initiates boot camp. This is a rigorous, one month program that enables us to see which of you are capable of enduring what we do here," the man said, pacing in front of us, his eyes scanning our faces. I felt my mouth go dry waiting for him to get to me.
"This camp is not for the weak, the faint of heart, the ones who are afraid of getting a little dirt under their nails." He stopped wholly in front of me, his tall figure practically looming over me. I gulped. His blue eyes swiped over my face, analyzing. They dipped lower and I felt my cheeks flame cerulean. "The blue is a nice touch." The words were low enough that only I could hear them, but judging by how I felt my face color even more, I knew the other initiates could decipher his whisper.
"This camp won't be easy. It'll test your limits, nearly push you over the edge, stretch how far you think you can stretch," Helen said, stepping up next to the man who had taken a step back away from me. Thank the gods. "Foley here-" So that was the meaty man. "Will be taking over most of your training, but I will be here whenever I can."
"Helen is a Lieutenant here and I am an Ensign. If you have an issue you can come to us," he said, crossing those arms over his chest. Hot damn, how far could a shirt stretch? His words thrummed something inside of me, causing a bubble of near hysterical laughter to pop out of my mouth. If they knew a spy was among their ranks, they certainly wouldn't be saying that.
"Now, remember you are initiates, not soldiers quite yet," Helen said, walking with utter grace and power in front of us. It felt like a privilege to be in front of people so gorgeous. I hadn't quite gotten used to fae beauty yet. "So, it makes sense that if this training camp becomes too hard to drop out, but we recommend that you try to hold out for as long as you can." I wished dropping out was even an option for me. The army was apparently one of the 'safer' options for spying, at least that was what Elda told me. If I wanted to put myself in more danger then I could've dropped out. But I would've had to been awfully stupid to do that.
"Basically, if you do drop out, there's no hope of you ever getting back in. You'll be seen as a coward," Foley said. I swallowed hard, my heels tapping against the concrete. Apparently, in Hiraeths army, a cowardly sin was the worst sin of all. To them, it was better to cheat and lie to win than to give up and lose.
"Now, enough instruction, I want you all to do three miles around the base, get a feel for it. At the end, whoever hasn't thrown up or passed out gets to move on to breakfast," Foley said, clasping his hands together. He bobbed his head to the left and all of us shifted on our feet. "Move out initiates." He practically barked the orders, and all of us immediately shuffled into action.
As we began to move faster, I watched as a couple of initiates charged their way to the front, practically leaping at the opportunity to be first. There were others who were trying to keep up with the front pack, but were already starting to lag. I knew they wouldn't last long. There was already a second pack forming, which Callan and I were a part of, sticking straight to the middle, keeping a good pace. There were a few stragglers at the back, already going too slow even though we had only just started.
"You look a bit unsteady over there, Eira," Callan said, jogging lightly next to me. The cold air flooded my lungs and made my cheeks and the tops of my newly pointed ears sting. The cold air was an effect of the king's strain on the land, how his wicked rule was slowly killing it. I could see it now in the ways the air was an ashy gray color and the grass underneath my feet was crunching dryly. Things here were dying, I felt like it was only a matter of time before everything was rotting with decay. Seeing the effect on the land only reminded me of what I was fighting for.
"I'm fine," I ground out. I was not fine, though. Walking was hard enough on my new, longer legs, but running was a different story. It was so much harder. I kept stumbling, tripping over slight dips in the ground or when my foot would catch on a bit of mud. I felt like a baby foal.
"You want me to give you my arm to lean on?" he asked, flashing me a grin. I didn't know anyone that would willingly smile on a run. I never really ran for exercise back home, I never had the strength. And besides, running took up energy, and if I ran that would mean I would need to eat more. Which was something we could not afford.
We moved right and headed down the back of the little squat buildings that Helen had walked me through yesterday. We were going to be running along the cement walls that made this camp feel more like a prison. I eyed how thick and sturdy they looked as we ran by them.
There were guards posted every few feet along the border, not making the idea of escape very enticing. Not that I needed to escape. Helen and Foley made it sound like we could leave by walking out the front door. Thats what they told us, then why did it feel like we were trapped in here? Maybe it was because I wasn't used to being so confined. Back in my village, we did have trees surrounding us on all sides, but at least we were out in the open and I knew the whole world was open to me...well, as much as it could've been. At least there I didn't feel like a rat trapped within a maze. Or maybe I did, and I still was the rat, scurrying around in my confines. Except now my maze was different, larger now and simply more dangerous.
"Why are they going so fast?" Callan muttered next to me, watching as the people who were at the front, only down to four people now. "It's like they're running to save their lover from an untimely death."
"That's a creative thought," I muttered. But he wasn't wrong. I could see the savage determination in each of their eyes even from here. They were all dripping sweat and looked like they were close to puffing smoke from their nostrils as well.
"I don't even think it's a matter of winning, I think they just want to prove themselves so badly," I said, pumping my arms as we started to go up the hill that would eventually lead to the barracks. We were coming up on our second lap now, and I was pretty sure each lap was a mile and a half, so we were already half way done. Thank the gods. It wasn't like I was in pain or anything, my running just felt...awkward. I felt like I had so much power in my limbs that I just simply didn't know how to use it.
"Can you imagine being that insecure? As long as you finish the three without walking they'll accept you either way," Callan said, narrowly avoiding a mud puddle.
"How do you know that?" I asked. My breathing was starting to get heavier now and there was that undeniable urge to simply stop and walk. Or maybe to fall and twist my ankle somehow so I wouldn't have to finish. If only.
"My father was a soldier in the army, he's a part of the Royal Guard now." I felt my stomach drop all the way down to the ground below me and beyond. The Royal Guard. The guard who killed my parents. Hatred uncurled inside of me like dark tendrils and I felt the air around me grow frigid as that ice inside of me begged to be let out. To be unleashed. I forced it back down.
"Oh that was weird, I think we went through a cold spot," Callan muttered. I forced myself to direct my hatred towards Callans father. Callan had only ever been nice to me, I physically could not bring myself to hate him when he'd done nothing wrong. "But anyways, my dad was the one who convinced me to come here. His goal is to make me a Royal Guard one day." I tried not to let more of my power slip through the cracks that were forming in my facade. I wanted to slap Callan in the face and demand him to actually think about what he was saying. To think about the lives he'd eventually be ruining when he became a part of this 'Royal Guard'. I know they ruined mine, who was to say Callan was above killing innocent people?
"But what about you?" Callan asked after a while. He had been humming merrily during the jog while I had been deep in my thoughts, images from that night my parents were killed bubbling up to the forefront of my mind. Did he have any idea what his Royal Guard did?
"What about me?" I asked, breathing a lot heavier now as we came up on the end of our second lap. One more lap. One more mile. I could do it. Looking out now, I could see that the base was a lot larger than I thought it was. On the horizon, I saw a collection of trees that led to what looked like a forest. I wondered if that forest was a part of the base too.
"What's your story? he asked. I swallowed hard, wiping the beginnings of sweat from my brow.
"Nothing of significance. I want to defend my kingdom, that's all." I said. Now defend whom was the question...
"Defend against the half-fae or Mirk?" he asked.
I felt warning alarms go off on my head. This was important information. "What?" I asked.
"Well, everyone knows how the king feels about half-fae. He thinks they're of spoiled blood, hence why they're being killed off. And the kings army is sent to fight the wars, so which war are you fighting for? The Civil War or the one against Mirk? The World War, that's what everyone calls it."
I couldn't believe this. The army had to fight against the half-fae? The half-fae were still citizens of Hiraeth, weren't they? I couldn't believe what the soldiers were being put through if they had to kill...kill those half-fae. I wouldn't be able to do that. I couldn't.
"Mirk," I managed to get out. Mirk was a large kingdom on another continent that Hiraeth was fighting with, much like Rame and Lacuna. Apparently Mirk and Hiraeth had been fighting for centuries. "I'd fight the world war, not the civil."
"Me too," Callan said, "I'm not supposed to say this...but I think it's wrong too. What they're doing to those half-fae. They're mixed with humans, not...not monsters or anything." Callan was gasping as we got to the middle of the second mile. Only a half-mile left.
"It is wrong," I said. It was wrong, but at least I was going a step further than Callan who was just talking about how wrong it was. I was doing something about it. The thought made me fill with pride and I ran faster the rest of the run, a new determination lighting my steps.
I had a small part. But my small part was going to contribute to stopping the civil war against half-fae in Hiraeth. I was going to help the cause. Me. A nobody from Rame.