Hello there!! I'm starting off these Jera one-shots with something angsty so be prepared to cry... or not I'm not sure how good my writing is hehe:)
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Everything hurt, but at the same time it didn't. He lay in a hospital bed, his world shifting in and out of focus. He could hear the soft rhythmic beeping sounds of the many machines he was hooked up to, and the not so rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor that was off to his right side.
His breath came in short, wheezing gasps and when his vision did focus for the few seconds it did at a time when he had his eyes open, all he could see was red as he coughed up the sticky substance he knew all too well as blood. He knew it was his time.
His ears were ringing but he still registered the voice of his doctor as he talked to his father who was quietly sobbing by his bedside. He peeled his eyelids open trying to see anything else going on around him besides the constant red that he would hack up only to shut them quickly once again. Keeping them open was too much of an effort.
He whimpered softly as he felt his father's hand brush his messy raven bangs out of his face and continue to run his fingers soothingly through his hair. He knew his father also knew that he would soon be leaving this world and joining his mother in the afterlife. He hated to have to leave his father, he loved him so much, but at the same time he was happy. He was going to be free. Was that selfish of him? Wanting to finally die and leave everyone he knew behind? Not like anyone besides his father would care anyway. Maybe Seraphina still would.
Sera.
The ringing in his ears intensified, the only sound he picked up was his doctor silently noting the number that was displayed on his heart rate monitor to himself. He wasn't sure why he picked it up, but he did.
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Memories swirled throughout his brain like a tornado as he thought about the few good times he had in his life. He realized the only times he was ever truly genuinely happy were with his dad and Sera.
Sera.
She was always there to put a smile on his face when he needed it the most. She was the one who disregarded his cripple status and was his friend anyway no matter how much it affected her image. She was the one who knew him better than he knew himself. She was like his other half. He always temporarily forgot how useless and worthless he was when he was with her and he loved so much how beautiful she was with her sparkling sapphire eyes, her dazzling magenta colored hair, and that cute skip in her step that would make its appearance whenever they were on their way to get boba.
She was his light, one of his only reasons to keep living another day when it hurt so much.
She had done and been nothing but caring towards him.
So why had he pushed her away?
Why had he insulted and hurt her so much when she just wanted to help him?
He was more of a monster than he thought.
He felt a few silent tears roll down his cheeks and mix with the blood that dribbled out of his mouth and bathed his hospital gown in a sickly dark crimson color. He could feel his father gently cupping both of his cheeks with his hands and pressing his forehead gently to his dying son's as he felt his dad's thumbs wipe away the tears streaking down his face as the other ravenette's own tears continued to fall and splatter on his face.
In this moment he felt so safe and loved and he knew this was his father's way of saying "it's ok, you can go now I'll be fine."
He was so tempted to but he had one last thing to do. He mustered up the last of his strength and forced himself to speak through the crimson liquid still bubbling up from his throat and out his mouth.
"Dad." He choked out. His eyes were still closed but he could feel his father's surprise from where he was at hearing his son's voice.
"What is it son?" The older male asked softly.
"Sera...need...to tell-" he was quickly cut off by a bloody coughing fit. He didn't have much time.
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His eyes were permanently glued shut at this point as he had no more strength to open them which made him wonder how he was managing to talk.
"Please." He pleaded. He heard his father sigh sadly as he seemed to get the message and heard the rustling of a bag, which he assumed was his backpack from school that had made the journey with him to the hospital from downtown Wellston where he was walking before he collapsed after breaking out into one of his bloody coughing fits, as what he knew was a piece of paper and pencil were taken out.
"What do you want to say?" His dad's voice cracked.
He knew his dad knew he wanted this letter to go to Sera so he didn't bother telling him who he was writing to. He needed to save the last of his energy to say what he needed to for the other ravenette to write down and pass on to Sera.
He knew he wouldn't be able to tell her all this in person. He should've told her sooner.
"Tell her...how sorry I am. I was such a jerk to her when she only saw my pain and wanted to help." His voice was getting weaker and it burned from all the blood but he hardly registered the feeling anymore.
"Tell her how I'm also sorry for hiding my ability and even the fact that I was sick for all these years. I didn't want her to know that I had a condition that would eventually kill me. I didn't want her to leave." He silently chuckled to himself in his head at that statement. He had thrown her out of his life anyways.
He opened his mouth to continue, he knew his father was writing the specifics about his disease for Sera to better understand so he continued on with the next subject.
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"Tell her how I never stopped caring about her no matter what or how I made it seem. She was always my light, my life, my joy, and I wanted to be with her one day." He knew it was cheesy, but he just wanted to say it how it was.
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"Tell her....I-I love her....and I'll never stop." His voice was hardly more than a whisper now, but the noise of a pencil scribbling on a piece of paper faintly bounced around the edges of his mind telling him his father heard.
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He tried to open his mouth to speak again, but he found he couldn't. He couldn't breathe. He felt everything fading away into nothingness.
But he couldn't go yet! There was still so much to say, he needed to say more, he didn't even get to tell his father one last time that he loved him and how thankful he was for him being apart of his life! He tried, willed himself to say more of what he wanted- no what he needed to say.
The ringing in his ears subsided and all sounds started to completely fade.
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This was it. It had been seventeen years and this strange disease that the doctor's could never figure out how to heal or get rid of was finally releasing him from this f*cked up world.
A last few stray tears snuck their way out of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. The last tears he'd ever cry.
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The last thing he felt was his father's loving hands brushing away the last of his tears. The pencil and paper obviously forgotten.
"It's ok, John. You can go now. I know you're tired. You've had a rough life. I'll make sure your letter gets to Sera."
"I love you, son....."
Then everything was gone. Blackness surrounded him, a big change from the hospitals white walls and the dark red blood that wouldn't stop coming up. The blackness didn't stay though, a white light slowly started to appear. But this white color was different from the hospital. It was gentle and warm, pulling him, attracting him towards it. He had heard and read enough stories to know what was happening.
He was free.
No heart rate detected…
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William kept his forehead pressed to his son's. It wasn't until after he had flat-lined and the doctors had swiftly come into the room in their white lab coats to turn the heart rate monitor off and unplug the machines he was hooked up to, that it fully registered in the older male's mind that his son was gone.
The dams finally completely burst and he started sobbing, still keeping his forehead pressed against his precious son's who was still alive just minutes ago. William knew this day would come but he wasn't prepared. He didn't think he would've ever been.
He felt the heat slowly start to leave the young ravenette's body and he choked out another sob.
"I love you, John."
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No. It wasn't true. It couldn't be true. A certain magenta-haired girl was running towards a nearby bus stop, tears in her sapphire eyes, after a certain letter had found its way into her hands.
William had been true to his word, and hastily gave the letter to a doctor a little after his son died, and the letter somehow made its way to a doctor who was on break with a high tier teleportation ability who was able to quickly drop off the letter to its intended destination.
Vaughn had called Seraphina down to his office immediately after Keene had handed him the letter and she recalled the horrifying, heartbreaking contents of it she didn't want to be true.
Those days John seemed off, the days where he'd cough up blood but pass it off as he was recently injured, the days where his breathing seemed to be more labored than usual, the letter only made sense.
She clutched the now crumpled piece of paper to her chest as she finally reached the bus stop, still in her Wellston school uniform. She didn't bother changing. She tore right out of Vaughn's office and out of the school as soon as she finished reading the letter and no one had tried to stop her.
She boarded the bus quickly, still holding on to the hope that her John was still alive, that this was all a prank, that he'd be waiting for her at that hospital with a smile on his face as if things had never once gone wrong between them. But deep down she knew that letter was a final goodbye.
Sighing, she pushed that thought to the back of her mind. The truth was she also never stopped caring about young ravenette and she was waiting for the day that he would come and open up to her.
She knew he would eventually. She knew him better than he knew himself after all.
She loved him.
John.
She didn't hold it against him for pushing her away and insulting her. She knew he wasn't thinking clearly at the time. Pent up pain and anger had done the talking for him.
Wellston hospital came into view and she quickly darted off the bus while forcing her swirling thoughts to the back of her mind. Tears had started stinging in her eyes, her magenta and yellowish-green highlighted hair extensions flying behind her.
She burst through the doors and didn't even bother checking in with the grey-haired receptionist who called out to her loudly. She wished she would've, though, because it occurred to her that she didn't know what room John was in.
Luckily for the shaken young female, she ended up running into a dark green-haired doctor who knew where he was.
John.
"Where is he!" She pleaded.
"I'm sorry, Miss. Who are you referring to?"
"John Doe!"
"Oh, the young boy who just passed away. He's in room 301." The old doctor replied somberly before continuing on his way, laying a hand on the shaking magenta-haired girl's shoulder as he walked past.
She sprinted away and nearly bumped and knocked over multiple doctors and patients alike as she scoured the hospital for room 301.
There was no way he was dead.
The hospital was all in on some huge prank and John would be alive and well waiting for her in room 301.
The girl finally found what she was looking for and crashed through the door, startling a red and puffy eyed ravenette.
Not the ravenette she was hoping to see look back at her though.
"Seraphina. I'm sorry. He passed away about ten minutes ago." William whispered, his grey eyes devoid of any emotion besides grief for his lost son.
Trembling, she walked up to bed and stared down at the boy she had grown to love.
She couldn't deny it anymore. There he was. Her John. His hospital gown stained crimson as well as around his mouth and neck where the blood had dripped down his pale skin.
He had suffered so much and yet now, he looked so peaceful. He looked like he was just sleeping.
He obviously wasn't, though, as he would've woken up to the loud anguished sobs that filled the room.
It took Seraphina a moment to realize they were coming from her, and she latched on to John's rapidly cooling body.
"You cruel universe! How could you take him away from me! Give him back! Give me back my John! I had so much I wanted to help him with! I had so much I wanted to do with him. I never even got tell him I loved him! I never got to say goodbye! Please! Give him bac-"
She was cut off from her desperate cries as she choked on a sob. Her arms were wrapped around John's shoulders and she buried her face in the crook of his neck, willing him to open his eyes.
His beautiful golden eyes that she'd never see again.
It hit her hard and she let out another sob.
She'd never get boba with him again.
She'd never go running with him around campus again.
She'd never get piggy back rides on his back again, as she would rest her head against his and enjoy his strawberry smelling hair, a courtesy of his shampoo.
She would never feel him lean into her touch again, as she ran her fingers through his raven locks to comfort him when he was upset.
She would never get to grow up and grow old with him like she dreamed.
She would never get to tell him that she loved him.
Seraphina pulled back, but only to press a kiss to John's bloodstained lips.
She'd never get to feel him kiss back.
She pulled away completely and started running her fingers through the ravenette's hair like she used to. Tears were still streaking down her face.
She hated this.
She hated that he was gone, that she would never hear him talk again.
She would probably never get over John's loss.
But she knew he was at least happy now....
Because he was finally free.
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Hope y'all liked it- er, thought it was well written at least!!
All characters belong to Uru-chan from her webtoon comic UnOrdinary :)