I sat combing his hair with my hands for hours waiting for him to wake up. It took awhile but eventually he started to stir. I continued humming a little song that Eli and I had for our 'theme song' 8 years ago.
As soon as he remembered where he was he jumped up from my lap and stood in a defensive stance. I slowly stood from where I was sitting, my dress falling to my ankles. Eli cocked his hand and I could have sworn I saw him in there. There was just a sliver of him left in there. I smile hopefully, I was going to get him back. I took a step towards him and he backed away.
He moved swiftly to the bed corner and sat. "When can I go back?" he uttered harshly.
I sighed. I had lost him again. "You can't. Not until I bring you back. Not until you're Eli and not the Shadow."
He looked at me, disgusted. "When I get out of here, I will kill you. I will make you watch your friends die then I will kill you slowly and painfully. You are weak. Your emotions get the best of you." He smiled at me almost taunting me.
I realized I must have looked somewhat frightened as he started to laugh. He kept laughing keeping his eyes on me. I heard the door click and Steve opened the doors. He ushered for me to follow him out. I nodded and started towards him, keeping my eyes on Eli who didn't break eye contact and kept laughing.
I walked out of the door and heard it close behind me. I let out a breath and turned to see not only Steve but the entire team. I looked at all of them and then looked at the ground. I pushed my way through them and made my way to training room. I wasn't sure if my room was still there as it had been several months, so this was the only place I could think to go.
I pushed open the doors and saw it was completely empty. I walked to the farthest corner and leaned against the wall, putting my head in my hand. I stared up at the ceiling and my eyes started watering again. Once the tears started I couldn't stop them. I was only alone for a few minutes before the doors opened to reveal Sam.
He walked over to me and I threw myself into him. I didn't hug him I just leaned into him and let him hold me. Everything hurt. I didn't know how to cope. Everything kept changing in my life, nothing was solid.
We stayed silent until Sam spoke up. "You know we're gonna need to talk about this right?"
I look up at him, tearing staining my face and I nod and turn back into his chest.
He gives a weak smile. "Not now though. Your room is still set up and i'm guessing you could use a shower so let's go do that ok?"
I nod and let him hold me while we walk back to my room. We pass the meeting room and I see everyone in there. I know they are all looking at me but I can't bring myself to look back at them. I look up at Sam as he's motioning towards me and shrugs his shoulders at them as we pass the room. I take a deep breath and keep my eyes on the ground.
Once we reached my room Sam left me and I sat on the bed for a moment. Nothing had been moved, nothing changed. I sat in silence until I couldn't stand it anymore. I stood and walked into the bathroom. I hadn't taken a proper shower in weeks. I slid the torn ball gown down my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I pulled out the pins that had kept my hair in its crown. The steamy water felt amazing on my skin. I think I was out of tears to cry at this point.
After I was done I wrapped myself in a towel and walked back into my room looking for clothes. I found some shorts and a sweatshirt and I threw that on. I dried my hair as much as I could but I didn't brush it, it was still a little messy.
I slid socks onto my feet and left the room again. I found my way to the meeting room and stood outside the door listening, hidden.
Fury was talking. "Right now we have both of Hydras top weapons. If we can we need to get Eli to remember and turn to our side like Steve did with Bucky. Otherwise... he could escape and he'd be even more angry at us. More motivated. Any ideas how?"
It was silent and I assumed everyone was looking at Steve. "I got Bucky to remember me by just letting him hit me and not fighting back. I knew there was a little of him left in there and it brought him out. But you can't do that to Y/n. I can't let you."
I smiled weakly. He did care about me. From there it was all arguing. They yelled about whether or not I should do that. The room was unevenly split, most people saying I shouldn't. My smile only grew. They all cared.
I stood from where I was standing and locked and reinforced the door. I walked past the windows and watched their eyes fall on me. I smiled at Steve sadly. I think he knew. He stood up and started yelling at me through the windows.
It hurt me but I kept walking, my back turned to them. It wasn't long before he was joined by the rest of them yelling at me. I kept going until their voices faded away.
I walked through the halls breathing deeply. I had to do this. I reached the door that led to his cell and I took one last deep breath. I didn't have long. I let myself inside the cell and looked into his angry eyes.