This chapter is brought to you by 大鱼 by Zhou Shen.
Edited by: bafflinghaze
---
Back at the Moores Manor, a gentle-looking man with ginger hair and charcoal-black eyes stood anxiously in front of the gates.
Despite the humid weather, he was wearing fleece pajamas under a woolen coat. It was summer, but the shivers that erupted through his body occasionally said otherwise for the man.
There were many servants surrounding him, visibly distressed as his breath grew shallow and short. The man had been standing there for over an hour.
Soon, a carriage with the Elysium Family crest pulled in front of the manor gate.
The door opened and a boy with ash-grey hair stepped out. The moment his feet touched the ground, the ginger-haired man was already moving forward, his slippers nearly flying off in his haste.
"Master Leotine, be careful!" A servant cried out.
But the man ignored him. Instead, his focus was on the boy.
When Elliot arrived back at the manor, it wasn't only the servants waiting at the gates, but Leotine, standing there with a worried face and an even more worrisome complexion.
His mood plummeted after seeing his older brother.
"Elliot," Leotine greeted with a smile.
Elliot walked around him.
His brother called his name a second time, but he kept walking.
Then he heard Leotine say, "Could all of you please give us a moment?"
A maidservant with a flat expression bowed her head. "Apologies, Master Leotine, but someone has to escort you back to your bedroom."
Leotine smiled at her gently, "It is alright. My brother will escort me back."
Elliot froze when he heard this.
Then he immediately turned with an angry scowl and glared at his brother.
"What the hell, Leotine?!"
But before he could make his displeasure further known by running away, the servants started to vacate the area like a pack of rats. They disappeared before he could stop them.
Now left by themselves, Leotine approached him with a small smile and reached for his arm.
"Elliot—"
Elliot dodged his brother's hand and aggressively took several large steps toward the main entrance. He intended to leave Leotine in the dust.
"Elliot, wait!"
"Do you know anything else besides my name?!"
Elliot couldn't help but shout back. His brother was like a broken record, constantly calling out to him despite knowing how much he despised him.
Unexpectedly, Leotine started to give chase.
Elliot could hear his footsteps and the pitter-patter of those goddamned slippers...!
His health was bad enough, so why was he wasting his energy performing this angsty bullshit—
"Ah!"
Elliot heard a thud behind him.
Whipping his head around, he saw Leotine on the ground.
His brother had a hand pressed against his chest and his breathing was quick and short. His face had nearly turned white, his pallor almost translucent, and there was a sheen of sweat on his brow.
Elliot was already at his side in a flash, crouching next to him with wide eyes.
"Watch where you're going, you idiot!"
He carefully helped his brother off the ground and secured the other's woolen coat around his shoulders even more to keep the chills at bay.
A bird-boned hand fell on his arm for support and immediately curled around his shirt in a deceptively tight grasp.
Slowly, he met his brother's gaze and saw a playful smirk curling his lips, "Gotcha."
Elliot stiffened. "You—!"
Leotine chuckled and leaned against him happily. "It's good to know you're still so cute, my dear little brother."
The worry he felt at that moment instantly vanished into the void.
"Let go!"
Elliot tried to pull away, but Leotine held onto him like some irritating fungus.
His brother chuckled, ignoring the murderous expression he wore.
"Alright, alright. I know you're angry. How about I make it up to you with some tea?"
"Leave me alone."
"Come now, don't be like that. I want to spend some time with you."
"No."
The instant rejection made the smile on his brother's face fade somewhat, but Elliot didn't care.
He didn't.
He had more important things to do right now and Leotine didn't fit into all of that.
He only just received news from Julius about the whirlwind drama that was happening with the Odum Family.
Nazareth being poisoned at a tea party was the most ridiculous thing Elliot's ever heard, but it was the truth.
Out of all people, Nazareth got poisoned. The irony did not escape him.
Who would even have the balls big enough to do it, anyway?
His silence brought a pitying smile to Leotine's face.
"I heard about what happened," he said, his voice wavering with care, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to talk about it?"
So Leotine knew about it, too. Where was he even getting the news from?! He'd been sleeping for a week!
"No. I don't want to talk about it," Elliot muttered, not looking at him.
"Are you sure?" Leotine appeared unconvinced. Rather, his eyes softened into a wobbly thing that could make even the toughest soldier want to cry for solace.
Did he think Elliot needed his comfort?
He didn't.
He and Nazareth weren't even on speaking terms anymore since their last conversation. The bridges have been burned to ash.
"I'll always be here for you, Elliot. You know that, right?"
Leotine and his stupid pity would be the death of him.
Elliot's body went rigid at his words. He looked away, feeling undeserving and filthy. He knew his brother's kindness was a lie.
Leotine was always like this, playing the good older brother despite knowing what kind of threat Elliot was to his position.
Elliot despised pretenses. He didn't need Leotine's constant apologies. He already took his mother's affections, so did he have to perform this elaborate play to rub it in?
"You're a liar," he said before he could stop himself.
Leotine didn't grow angry at the accusation. He only smiled sadly in response, "I'm sorry."
Elliot was sick and tired of those words.
I'm sorry.
Empty sentiments that brought nothing but pain.
He turned away.
A hand was wrapped around his wrist a moment later.
"What are you doing?"
"I just wanted to talk."
"..."
Elliot kept his back to his brother. The frail hand on his wrist felt like lead.
Why Leotine ever thought he was worth the attention was beyond him.
He was always so lenient despite Elliot's resentment, always so good.
Yet, in spite of all the love he claimed to have for him, he was a liar.
Leotine loved him, but Elliot couldn't forgive him for the secrets he shared with his mother.
All the promises made to him were broken when he realized his mother loved his brother more, and his brother chose his mother over him.
"Elliot?" Leotine stared at him in concern when he took too long to answer.
Elliot was too tired to bother.
"Go back inside. It's cold." He started to walk away.
"Summer is upon us. I am fine."
By the gods—
Fed up, Elliot marched over and took his brother's hand. The fingers felt like ice and were paler than bone.
"You call this fine?"
Leotine still had the audacity to look ashamed.
Elliot frowned with displeasure. "Your hands feel like the blizzard wind. Summer be damned, you should be in your bed, not standing in front of the gate."
"Not before you have tea with me—" Leotine was cut off by a wet cough.
Elliot was beside him in seconds. He took off his jacket and placed it over the woolen coat that covered his brother's thin shoulders, pulling it tight around him.
Eventually, Leotine stopped, but it looked as if what little strength he had, had left him entirely. He leaned against Elliot's frame, and Elliot instinctively supported him.
"Go back to your room."
Leotine shook his head. "This is a very important conversation. I can't hold it off anymore."
Those words gave Elliot pause, and he stared at his brother as if he was stupid.
What "important conversation" required Leotine to risk his body?
This was all so ridiculous.
He wasn't worth it.
Leotine placed his hand on his forearm with a pleading look.
"Please, Elliot?"
How Elliot hated him.
He struggled for a few seconds more, his brain firing off several excuses at a rapid pace in the back of his mind. He could say he was tired, or that he wanted to be left alone to think about Nazareth's situation. He could tell him he was busy with something important, or that he was feeling unwell.
But—no.
His brother was stubborn and knew him like he knew his own mind. He was trusting and kind, but he wasn't foolish.
"... Fine."
His reluctance must have shown because Leotine's smile dimmed, but he immediately stood up and looped their arms together, once again energetic and lively.
"Excellent, let's go to my study."
It took several seconds before Elliot realized it.
And then he sputtered.
"You tricked me!" He shouted.
Again!
Leotine chuckled. "And you fall for it every time."
The vein on his forehead was throbbing.
Elliot felt both helpless against his brother and infuriated.
A hand patted him on the cheek.
Leotine's eyes were doting, and Elliot fell to its might.
Damn him and his weakness.
The walk from the front gate to the manor was slow.
Elliot was careful. Despite how seemingly animated his brother was, he knew Leotine was simply putting up a front.
His breath was still shallow and rough, even if he pretended everything was fine.
"I heard you were invited to a party. Why didn't you go? I thought you and that Odum boy were friends."
"He's not my friend, and he was poisoned during that party, so you should be happy I didn't go."
"... What about that Elysium fellow? He seemed nice. He even took you out."
"Julius is an acquaintance and the only reason he came to visit was to tell me about what happened at the party."
"... There's still that Dartmouth kid, right? Why not invite him to the manor?"
Gods, smite him now.
---
They arrived at Leotine's study after a while. His brother looked exhausted, though he tried to hide it. The Moores courtyard was small, but Leotine was not used to walking for even that distance.
Upon opening the door, they were greeted by the sight of Llewyn, Mother's personal servant, waiting by the coffee table with freshly brewed tea.
It was clear his brother planned everything beforehand.
Elliot reluctantly sat down on the sofa in front of the coffee table, trying not to look like pure torture sitting in the same space as Leotine.
He always hated entering Leotine's study.
It was connected to his bedroom, so the air was always thick with the smell of bitter medicine and antiseptics.
"Master Leotine, Young Master Elliot," Llewyn faced them with a charming smile. He poured the tea into two cups and served them.
Elliot eyed the color of the tea and glared at Leotine.
"This better be the medicinal blend."
Leotine smiled wanly and took a sip.
Elliot continued to squint at his brother while also taking a sip.
He regretted it instantly.
His brother's eyes formed into crescents and Elliot could hear him laughing into his cup.
He narrowed his eyes at him. "... What is it?"
"Dandelion leaves."
It tasted like spinach.
Discreetly spitting the 'tea' back into his cup, Elliot placed it as far as he could away from him and crossed his legs, giving Leotine a deadpan look.
"What did you want to talk about?"
His brother hummed, taking another sip of his leaf juice.
"Is the heirship training going well? I've noticed you've been tired."
Elliot frowned. "It's been fine. Mother's a good teacher."
In the last few weeks, his mother had been showing him how to fill out the records, how to read the documents, when to sign the papers, and when not to. Most of the time, she assigned him books on the management of the territory and sent him to the library for self-study.
Leotine nodded along to his explanation and finally asked, "Do you feel prepared?"
If it wasn't "sorry," it was always "do you feel prepared."
Elliot had years to prepare himself for the inevitable, yet those words still filled him with a foreboding dread.
When he becomes earl, it would mean Leotine was—
He knew no one trusted him with the burden of earlship. He knew a long time ago how everyone preferred Leotine over him. It was laughable to have a bastard on the seat of an honored lord, even more so when the bastard was the child of an unknown woman from who-knows-where.
When the silence grew, Leotine sighed.
"Elliot—"
"You forfeited your right to even contend, so don't even start," he snapped. The words were bitter as they left him.
He hated this conversation already.
It was always Leotine and his health. Everything always came down to his brother.
Elliot's position as the heir was practically secured, but people would always talk.
They will say he stole that position from the rightful son of the first wife.
They will say that he killed his brother for the Earlship—
Leotine was the true Earl-to-be. He was loved, and Elliot was nothing but a horrible stand-in who didn't even look like him.
The only reason he existed was to serve as a breeding horse to the Moores bloodline because Leotine obviously couldn't do it.
They might as well erase his existence from the records and claim his children to be Leotine's. Wouldn't that be a twist—
"You're doing it again."
Leotine's gentle voice pulled him out of his thoughts.
Elliot stared at him. "What?"
His brother smiled helplessly.
"Sometimes, it seems almost impossible to reach you. What are you pondering about?"
Elliot sent him a scathing look.
"What are you afraid of, Elliot? You're always in your head and worrying. I can't tell what you're thinking."
"The pot is calling the kettle black," he shot back.
Leotine pursed his lips, "Well, you need only ask."
That was absolute camelshit, and he told his brother that.
"What's the use of asking when you've only given me your useless apologies?"
Leotine took another sip of that shit-tasting tea, this time delicately furrowing his brows into a look of discomfort.
Elliot could tell it was just for show.
His brother was buying time.
He didn't have the ability to taste anything. His sense of taste was ruined by all the tonics, potions, and healing spells.
Elliot knew he shouldn't be pushing for an answer. This was not about the earlship or being worthy, or anything that didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
This was about Leotine and the secret he and his mother were keeping from him.
It was about why he was suddenly being pulled for heirship training, why Leotine was sleeping more, and why his mother was suddenly looking at him like she finally remembered he also existed.
It was about why he could see glimpses of his father roaming the halls at night and standing in front of Leotine's door...
"Elliot, I won't make it to next spring."
The blow felt worse than anything he'd ever felt.
The air shifted, and everything around him was crumbling down like desert walls.
White noise was ringing in his ears, drowning out the rest of his brother's words.
A memory flew to the forefront of his mind.
In the cold manor, there was a room heavy with the smell of Scarlet Poppy. A boy with ginger hair sat on the bed, smiling at the child who wandered inside.
Gone.
It would all be gone, disappearing with Leotine once he was—
The room was spinning as he stood up.
"What?! You—you can't—you can't just—!"
Leotine raised his hand, gesturing for him to sit back down.
Both their teacups were knocked over.
"The healers believe it would be less than three seasons. At that time, I want you to finish your heirship studies and graduate from the Academy with honors."
"No..."
"Now, Elliot. Be sensible, here. You must build your strength and conquer the storm when it comes. This is a trial by fire that every heir has experienced. I wish to see you ascend to the Earl seat before I go."
Elliot wanted the world to swallow him whole, only so Leotine would stop speaking.
"Please..." his voice was hoarse as he begged him.
His brother couldn't...
He felt bile at the back of his throat.
Leotine closed his eyes. "I don't want to fight anymore."
He was finally giving up.
"Brother... brother..." Elliot's voice cracks, trailing off, along with the rest of his thoughts.
"You are all that matters to me, Elliot."
He shook his head. "No..."
Leotine stood up from his seat and sat down beside him.
Elliot couldn't move. He wanted to say something, but his voice was stuck.
A hand touched his cheek.
The gesture was meant to be soothing, yet it did nothing but agitate Elliot further.
In less than a year, there would be no one willing to pat him on the cheek anymore.
"I want you to live a good life. I want you to wake up every day and find ways to make that day the greatest."
Leotine turned to him, wiping the two stray tears trickling down Elliot's face.
"You were born to be the next Earl, Elliot."
He didn't know what to say to that.
Why did Leotine have to be sick?
Why was the world so unfair to the good?
Why did it have to be Leotine out of all people?
What did he do to deserve such a useless body?
His brother would have made a better Earl.
He could have lived a normal life, gone to the Academy, and made friends.
Elliot wished he could trade his life for his brother's. He was more deserving of everything that was good.
Why did he have to bear the responsibilities of living for him?
Why couldn't Leotine live instead?
He knew if he begged on his knees, Leotine would give in. He would suffer even more, but he would do it. For Elliot, he would do it.
But how could Elliot ask that of him?
"Brother..." he sobbed, pressing his face against his brother's shoulder.
Leotine wrapped his arms around him, squeezing as tight as he possibly could.
"It will be alright, Elliot. I'm ready to go."
"You can't..."
"I'm sorry."
Elliot cried harder, the tears wouldn't stop no matter how hard he tried. The choked and unpleasant sounds crawling out of his throat turned him into a mess of emotions he couldn't control.
"S-stop t-talking like—like you're actually going to die. Don't go... don't go..."
"I'm ready, Elliot." Leotine's eyes were glossy. "I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry."
Elliot closed his eyes. He stained his brother's shirt with his tears, wailing like that stupid child who knew nothing of the world, asking for just an ounce of love.
That same stupid child who begged the boy lying on the bed to live.
Tears flowed down like a stream of grief.
Leotine pressed his brother close, rubbing his back while he murmured to him, "My poor little brother, I wish you knew just how much I love you."
It was unfair to them both.
He was about to leave his baby brother to the wolves.
I'm sorry.
He uselessly apologized, over and over again, ashamed of his own weakness, and his unwillingness to suffer anymore.
I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
My dear little brother, please forgive this worthless older brother of yours.
---
During the reign of the previous emperor, marriages between the nobility and the commoners were outlawed. There were many regulations restricting the relationship between nobles and commoners due to the previous emperor favoring a discriminative caste system, and anyone caught breaking the law would be fined, jailed, or executed.
Leotine was a child born out of wedlock and hidden away by his mother and father in fear that his grandparents would get rid of him.
His mother was an ordinary maidservant with little background.
She and his father fell in love.
When the previous Earl and Countess found out about their relationship, they fired his mother without a reference. Her career in service was over the moment she was kicked out of the manor.
But she was pregnant when she left, and she and his father met in secret throughout the pregnancy. By the time Leotine was born, the war broke out and both his parents were required to join the war efforts.
Leotine remembered little of his early childhood. He stayed with his mother's family during the war. They were herbalists who produced potions for the soldiers in the trenches.
Then the war was over and his parents returned, alive and deemed heroes of the war.
Emperor Platus came into power and got rid of the caste system. Within a week of being crowned emperor, he struck down the marriage law and proposed to the daughter of a baron family.
His parents got engaged and brought him back home.
All was good with the world.
He was reunited with his family, the previous Earl and Countess passed, and there was peace in the Empire.
But then his mother fell ill.
And then she was gone.
And then he fell ill.
And then Astella showed up with Elliot in tow.
Everything hurt and he wanted to give up.
---
In the dead of night, only one servant was awake in the Moores Manor.
Llewyn arrived at the Countess' study and stood in front of her.
The Countess was wearing reading glasses and smoking a long metal pipe while she worked. On her desk, there was a pile of papers she was reading through.
She brought the pipe to her lips and inhaled a breath of smoke before releasing it to produce an elegant swirl into the air.
"Report," she ordered.
Llewyn did as he was instructed.
"Leotine took his medicine and went to sleep. He and Elliot met for tea earlier in the evening."
The Countess paused. She raised her gaze to meet Llewyn's, her eyes cold and brittle as she asked, "What did they speak about?"
Llewyn maintained a neutral expression. "Heirship. Leotine told Elliot of the news."
The Countess frowned.
"Allow them this comfort. They won't be together for long. You are dismissed."
The servant left the room.
A moment later, a hummingbird darted from the nest across the room and landed on a specific sheet of paper.
It tapped its feet on it several times.
The Countess looked over and saw a familiar name written on top.
"Lettuse Fleur del Lis?"
Of all the marriage candidates...
She read the file with a small frown before turning to the hummingbird, a small smile forming on her lips.
"Thank you, lovely."
The hummingbird made a noise and rubbed its head on her wrist affectionately before flying back to the nest.
Astella picked up the file on the Fleur del Lis Count Family and began to draft a letter.
It was time for Elliot to acquire a fiancée.
---
They moved Young Master Nazareth to a different room.
His bedroom was in ruins, blood staining the bed and furniture. In the chaos, everything was knocked or forcibly removed due to safety concerns.
The night before, it took many healers to stabilize his Young Master.
By the end of it, he was as pale as a ghost, looking more dead than alive.
He still had a pulse. His heart was beating slowly, but it was beating.
No one was allowed to visit his Young Master anymore, including Young Master Aurelion and Lady Guinivere.
Only the Duke and Duchess, and the servants with the highest clearance were permitted in the West Wing.
It didn't stop Rainier from sneaking inside.
"Good morning, Young Master."
There was a vase of dandelions in his arms.
He opened the curtain to the window and replaced a vase of wilting hydrangeas with the flowers he brought.
The yellow flowers were the only spot of bright color in a room muted by white, black, and brown.
Rainier approached the bed slowly, his footsteps quiet.
His Young Master lay silent beneath the black comforter.
Peeking out from beneath the unbuttoned portion of his nightshirt was the Slave Emblem, identical to Rainier's.
They never got to the part about removing it.
Rainier was wholly convinced they would have time for that later.
Even after the first poisoning attempt, he assumed they would have more time.
He was wrong.
It was only Ricin Flower.
It was supposed to be only Ricin Flower.
But this?
This was an unknown.
An unprecedented thing that neither of them were prepared for. A contingency against an enemy that could sneak past Odum security didn't exist.
Nazareth was the contingency.
And Nazareth had fallen.
A hand reached out and swept away the ink-black hair from a face that was almost as white as snow.
The hand trembled.
"Young Master..."
---
Between the borders of life and death, Neo found himself a child once more.
His mummy was holding him in her arms. He smelled dandelions and sandalwood, and the incense of the brothel house.
There was a familiar melody coming from somewhere. The pluck of the cello and the soft bells intertwined together to create a song he had long forgotten.
'Yellow flower, gold and bright
Make a wish with all your might
No more tears
Never fear
I am here beside you'
This was a song from a childhood lost to him, one where it was only him and his mummy.
He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed himself further into the arms that held him.
'Yellow flower, don't you cry
Look out to the distant sky
No more tears
Never fear
I am here beside you'
All was dark.
---
Step 43. In an event where you find yourself in a situation where you're on the verge of death, there is nothing else you can do but trust your loved ones.