Thell swallowed. "What does it mean to you, then?"
"I don't know..." Din paused. "I've never had the opportunity to think about it... what about you? What about now?"
Maybe it was because she was desperate to know if he loved her too, or maybe it was because she hadn't seen him in two weeks, amidst the pain and torture she had endured.
"Now... I mean every word. Every last one, a hundred times over."" Thell promised, and she knew she had never felt anything more true.
Din whimpered softly and bent forward, cupping the back of her head and pressing his lips to her's, catching the sob that escaped his throat. Thell weeped against him, hand shaking as she cradled his head, running her fingers through his hair. Parting her lips with his, he shifted against the bed, freeing her other hand and letting it wander down his back. It felt like she hadn't kissed him in years, deprived of it like oxygen or food, and he was kissing her back in the same way, making small, desperate sounds as his hands cupped her cheeks, running up and down her face.
He was crying; Thell could tell when a drop splattered on her cheek, but she made no motion to wipe it away. She didn't want to embarrass him if he felt vulnerable. Instead, she pushed against him, getting him to lay halfway on his back and break the kiss. She moved her hands up his face, thumbs swiping under his eyes and leaning forward to kiss away his tears. Stubbled scratched against her chin, but she didn't mind. She could only gently rub her nose along the bridge of his, gifting him with several soft kisses on his lips that left her head spinning. She could feel him smiling, despite the tears, when she would press her cheek to his. His hands traveled to her sides, running up and down and pulling her forward to kiss him again. He tasted like the salt from their intermingled tears, and smelled like the pine trees outside and the mild soap from the Razor Crest.
At one point she pulled away and pressed her cheek to his again, feeling his stubble scratch her face.
"I like kissing you," she whispered.
And he chuckled below her, deep in his throat and vibrating across her chest. Thell wanted to hear him laugh like that for the rest of her life.
"I do, too."
"You know, when I was younger and I would see someone kissing, I thought it was the grossest thing," Thell admitted. "But now... It's not too bad. Not with you."
His hands came up, rough pads of his fingers running down her face and jaw to only pull her forward again.
After a while of soft, slow kissing, and after their share of tears had vanished, Din pulled Thell close, letting her rest her head in the crook of his shoulder while he cuddled her. He let one arm slide under her neck, cupping her head so he could tangle his fingers in her hair. He was oddly quiet, even more so than usual.
"You okay?" She whispered, tracing a finger around his covered collarbone.
He huffed above her ear. "I feel like I should be asking you that."
"You just haven't said anything in, like... an hour," Thell added.
"Well, I was too busy kissing you, kar'ta. Guess I'm not too shabby, right?"
Thell smiled. She had missed this side of him. '"Not too bad... I wasn't bad, was I?"
She felt him shake his head, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. "Never... But I'm okay I'm glad we could, uh, be like this together."
"Me too... But I miss him," Thell admitted. "I feel like part of me is gone."
"I'm gonna get him back, Thell," he whispered huskily above her head.
She traced a small pattern over the shirt covering his chest. "I know you will... Will you say goodbye to me before you go? Just for a minute?"
A hand caressed through her hair, brushing away locks of hair that had fallen past her eyes. "Always."
She squeezed him tight. "Thank you for staying with me."
Content, even without the kid, Thell closed her eyes, drifting off into the darkness. She fell asleep to Din whispering seven words in her ear, seven words that would stay with her forever.
"I'm going to bring our kid home."
Thell woke in the middle of the night, feeling cold as the blanket had slipped from her shoulder. She flipped over groggily, rustling the sheets beneath her as she searched for the blanket in the dark, catching a glimpse of a silhouette on the other edge of the bed.
At first she thought it was just another illusion of the nightmares that seemed to drift into her reality, and tried to calm her hectic heartbeat. But after she slowed her breathing, her eyes adjusted to the darkness.
Din was sitting upright, his back to her, and Thell could only just make out his silhouette against the glow of the moon. Her heart seemed to catch in her throat as she blinked, focusing on him until her vision cleared. She had never seen even the shape of him without his helmet or armor, and he looked smaller than she had thought. Still muscular, and larger than her, but his shoulders sloped in gentle lines, and there was a certain softness about how his hair curled around his neck and wisps fell across his ears. She let her gaze linger for a moment longer before she looked down, averting her eyes. She knew he didn't want to risk breaking the Creed, and she had too much respect for him to do it herself.
So she turned over on her back, looking the other way and closing her eyes. She tried to go back to sleep, acting like she was just readjusting, but the guilt gnawed at her.
"Din?" She whispered.
He was just as quiet. "Thell."
"I, I'm really sorry, I turned over and didn't realize you were awake. I... I saw the back of your head, but not your face. Just your hair, and your shoulders."
To her relief and greatest surprise, Din spoke softly, barely moving on the bed. "It's okay."
"Are you alright?" She whispered, scrunching the blanket under her hands.
".... I've never felt more alone then when I left you and the kid." His voice sounded broken, and Thell fought back tears.
"I thought I was never going to see you again... especially when they drugged me. I-I kept seeing you."
She could see him breathe heavily from the corner of her eye. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."
Thell curled her arms around her chest. "I'm sorry you were by yourself... I can't imagine what that was like for you."
"Cold... it was cold."
Thell's stomach dropped, and she flipped over, blindly searching for his arm. Reaching his elbow, she squeezed lightly.
"Come back to bed, Din," she said. "You don't need to do this to yourself."
He didn't move; she kept sneaking glances at him before she tugged on his arm.
"Din," she pressed.
He took a long moment, sitting silently before turning towards her and climbing under the blanket she had pulled back. The mattress shifted under his weight as he curled up beside her, pressing a swift kiss to the corner of her mouth as she wrapped an arm around him.
Thell nuzzled at his neck sleepily, noticing how tense he had become. She carded a hand through the front of his hair, hearing him sigh softly and slouch against her touch. He was still tense after a few moments, so Thell readjusted, letting her other hand nestle in her hair. She ran her hand over his head, letting him slump against her neck. She pulled the blanket over their shoulders, just enough to where they shared the same breath.
"You won't have to be cold again," Thell whispered. "I'll always be here... I promise."
. . . .
Din never fell asleep.
He should have been content. He felt safe enough anyway, curled up right next to the woman he had grown to care for so much. Her head on his shoulder, breathing softly in her sleep while her arm lay limp over his stomach.
He wasn't used to this, the constant physical contact. It's not something he had ever wanted. But after this, he couldn't imagine not having it again. Thell was soft, and irresistibly kind. She was gentle but brave where he was not. He didn't have much experience with women, no less the warm feelings he got everytime he looked at her. Everytime she held the kid or sang to him or risked her life for the both of them.
So he let his hand rest on her head, gently running his fingers through her hair, gentle enough not to wake her. He knew she had been through so much; she had told him everything herself.
But all Din could see when he closed his eyes was the kid. It had been that way for two weeks, except Thell had been taken out of those images and right into his arms. The moment he had seen her running towards him in the village, he had wanted to rip off his mask right then and there, just to be able to look at her with his own eyes in the daylight.
She shifted against him, whimpering in her sleep and clutching her fingers into his shirt. It wasn't the first time she had done this during the night; at one point she had woken up screaming and nearly jumped out of bed, shocked to see Din there with her. It had taken him a solid hour to calm her enough so she could fall back asleep, kissing her shoulders while she trembled against him.
He despised every minute of it, watching her suffer for hours while she should have been sleeping soundly. All he wanted was for her to feel safe again... it would be a process they would have to go through together, he knew that. He was consistently amazed by her courage and determination, taking everything they could give her to ensure the kid's safety. She was not the same girl he met that night on Bespin, shaking from head to foot with the kid in her arms.
So he kissed her forehead, nuzzling his nose on her face to comfort her and running a hand down her spine until she had quieted again, letting loose of the hold on his shirt.
Morning came and Din could only watch as the sun's glows began to make their way through the curtains, painting the walls in a gold aura. He still hadn't replaced his helmet; he just wanted as long she could give him, looking at her with his own eyes as the sun shone on her face. It turned her short copper hair into flames, bright against the dark material of his shirt. He just wished he could see her eyes, the brown ones that reminded him of his own, the ones he had only ever seen through the mask.
So he lingered, feeling like a creep for staring so long at her sleeping face. But with her hair fanning out across his shoulder, her nose nestled in his shirt, he didn't want to move. Sleeping next to Thell felt not only like sleeping next to the woman he had grown so fond of, but also his best friend, his greatest companion.
He didn't want to leave; he would have rather stayed in the warmth of the bed with Thell all day.
But he needed the kid. They both did. He had a mission to complete, after all.
When Din caressed Thell's face to wake her, he swiftly moved past the bruises, careful not to hurt her. He knew she was more self conscious than she had ever been, but Din thought he had never seen or known someone so magnificent.
. . . .
Din delivered as promised, gently kissing her cheek to wake her up early the next morning. Thell could see light beyond her closed eyelids, so she kept them closed out of honor for him. She could feel him leaning over her, one arm braced over her waist.
"Hi, kar'ta," he whispered before warmly kissing her cheek again, making Thell smile, still half asleep.
She felt his lips on her's and kissed him back briefly before he pulled away. She rose, opening her arms so she could hug him close and wrap her arms around his neck. He reciprocated almost immediately, leaning into her with one arm braced on the headboard. She could feel the Beskar chestplates strapped across him, but he still lacked the helmet. She opened her eyes then, when her chin was resting over his shoulder and the only thing she could see were the faint wisps of chocolate brown hair curling around his neck.
Outside, the sun was peeking just beyond the trees, setting the world aglow. It was a new day, a new opportunity for the both of them. Thell squeezed him tighter, holding the back of his head.
"Please be careful," she whispered, kissing his hair. She felt him lean his head on her's, almost swaying against her grip. "Bring him back, Din."
"I will," he promised back. "I'll radio you when I can. I'll be back before the sun sets."
Din pulled away, taking his warmth with him and placing a comlink in her hand. Thell listened to himself shuffle around until she heard the front door shut, and the house went quiet again. She sat cross legged on the bed, running her hands on the sheets where Din had been sleeping just minutes ago. They were still warm, and when she raised the blanket to her face, she could smell him; metal and a hint of musk, like the pine trees outside.
Thell didn't move much of the day, resting on the porch outside to let the sun wash over her. Her injuries had improved immensely since the day before thanks to Din's quick thinking and the advanced medical equipment on the Razor Crest. The same young woman from the village came by a few times, bringing food with her and keeping Thell company for hours on end.
Despite her company, and Din's promises, the flashes of memories still came to her, ones of pure terror and fear. She would slink off, wrapping herself under the blanket and pulling it to her nose, pretending like Din was actually there when she could only smell him on the blanket. She knew she had had a restless night; it came in blurs periodically throughout the day. Sometimes they were flashes of fake images from her time in the Empire base, surrounded by throngs of stormtroopers and that admiral with the greasy hair. Other times they were actual memories from the previous night, when she would shoot up trembling and quivering beneath the blankets. Although the air in the room and the bed she shared with Din was warm, Thell felt as if she had been dipped in a basin of ice.
Even in her haze of fear, she could feel the bed shifting beneath her, the blanket shifting slightly across her legs as Din rose beside her. In all his quiet strength, he held her until she had cried herself back to sleep, warm in his arms and forehead pressed into her hair.
Her heart ached when Din didn't radio her comlink for the first several hours, the worry setting in, and waited on the back porch, hoping to possibly see a glimpse of his Beskar and the kid's floppy ears. She missed Grogu desperately, still feeling the guilt at leaving him gnaw at her. She knew it wasn't inherently her fault, Din had assured her of that, but it still racked at her being.
She just hoped the kid was okay. The last time she had seen him, he had been exhausted from saving her life and stumbling through the air ducts of that base. Even then, he had been so brave, putting himself in danger to save her.
It was only midday when the commlink beeped against her wrist and Thell nearly fell off the bed. She fumbled with the comm, holding it close to her face as it crackled.
"Thell, can you hear me?" Just the sound of his voice calmed her immensely.
"Kriff... Yeah, I can," she said quickly, a bit breathless. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he responded. "I found the base."
Thell's heart leapt. "Really?"
"I think so. I wanted to call before I went inside."
Thell paused, her hand dropping slightly. "... Are you..."
"I'm not saying goodbye."
Pushing a sob down her throat, Thell said, "Me either.... Just be safe, please. And bring the kid home... I love you, Din."
Maybe the connection cut out as she had said it, or he hadn't heard her, because Din didn't respond right away. Whatever the case, it bothered her immensely, because while Thell had admitted to loving him, or rather knowing him, in Mando'a, it wasn't the same as saying it in English. When loving someone meant more than just knowing a Mandalorian.
Instead, Thell pulled the comm closer to her ear, feeling the regret gnaw at her chest. She should have waited, should have told him in person.
"I'll try to be back by tonight," was the only reply he gave, and then the commlink went silent.
Groaning, Thell threw herself back onto the pillows, in the process smacking her hand on something hard.
"Dank Farrik!"
Yanking her head back, Thell realized she had left her vambraces sitting on Din's pillow, gleaming like stars in the sunlight. She picked them up carefully, running her fingers over the freshly painted metal. She was grateful they had let her keep them in the base, and hadn't stripped her of yet another thing that she loved.
They signified her father, Theldar Avan, and everything he had done and fought for. For the Rebellion and the freedom of all of those that the Empire had stolen from. She was one of those people, her father lost to a cause she had only grown up hearing about. They also signified the fact that she came from Mandalorian blood, possibly the last of her Clan. Maybe Din didn't consider her a true Mandalorian; she didn't know. She hadn't grown up knowing the customs or traditions... but what did being a true Mandalorian mean, anyway?
She remembered Bo-Katan's word on Trask, where she had told Thell the story of the Children of the Watch, the cult that Din belonged to. She had told her honor to family was one of the most respected values of any Mandalorian.
Grogu was definitely Din's family. Even if he had to return him somewhere, or let him choose his own path one day, Din would always be his father. Thell knew from the moment she had seen them together that they were close, probably closer than the Mandalorian had ever intended.
Was she...?
She couldn't let the thoughts linger for long, though, because she heard a distant knock in the house. It was too early for it to be Din, unless he had been lying about finding the base, which was unlikely. Of all things, Din was not a liar.
Strapping the brace around her leg that Din had given her, Thell pushed herself up from the bed, grunting at the effort. She had barely moved in hours, and the muscles were tight between her joints. She hobbled to the door anyway, sliding it open and coming face to face with the older woman from earlier, the one that had come to her in the woods.
"Oh, hi," Thell said softly, trying her best to give a small smile.
She was extending a small basket of food to Thell, one with those same fruits she had seen the day before. Thell looked her up and down before gingerly taking the basket in her own arms.
"Thank you," Thell said, dipping her head and hoping the woman would understand. But she only offered her a small smile and went on her way, leaving Thell alone in the house again.
It was odd, being alone again. After her mother had died, and her friends had all but scattered, Thell had been friendless in Darand's mansion. She was free to be by herself for hours into the day, and part of her enjoyed the silence.
But it was different now. She dreaded the quiet.
So she carried the basket to the porch outside, where she could sit and rest in the sun and watch the children play in the village below. She kept the commlink attached to her wrist, just in case Din tried to call through.
The sun was just beginning to set when Thell pushed herself to stand, looking for a towel to wipe the fruit juices from her fingers. She dug through her own bag, filing through her belongings when a glimmer caught her eye. It was Din's bag, lying right beside her's, and it was half unzipped. She didn't want to snoop, but the glimmer was odd.
Thell carefully poked through his things, pulling away an extra shirt to reveal the item. Her breath caught in her throat as her fingers just barely brushed the item. It was the ornate silver headpiece from the city in Naboo, the one that she had dreamed about. It even contained the same shining forest green gem that she had adored. There was a single piece of parchment attached to it, held on by a tattered black string.
For Thell Sai'Lya, Mandalorian, last of her Clan.
Din's handwriting, if she could guess.
Thell wanted to cry, or giggle like a teenager, but she could only smile at it in wonder, rolling over the precious metal between her hands. Din had bought this for her, probably saw her eyeing it when they were in the city on Naboo that week. Weeks before she had even kissed him for the first time. The gift was precious, and her heart soared, but there was a greater treasure waiting for her. Waiting for Din and the kid to come tromping through the woods any moment now. The sun was almost fully set, pink glows starting to disappear over the horizon.
Except he didn't come through the woods, because the door suddenly slammed open behind her, sending her stumbling on her feet in fear. She raced to get her blaster, too alarmed by the sudden movement to worry about the injuries covering her body.
Din was standing on the other edge of the room, fully clad in the Beskar, just at eyeline with the blaster pointed straight at his head. It calmed her immensely to see him again. Stunned, Thell lowered the weapon, letting out a quivered breath. She had expected to see Grogu in his arms, wide eyes staring and long ears twitching. But Din's arms were empty, and Thell nearly collapsed.
"Is he...?" She couldn't even finish the sentence.
He saw her swaying on her feet and stepped forward to grip her arms, stabilizing her. "He's not dead."
Thell blinked frantically. "Where is he?" When he didn't answer, Thell shook him. "Din, where's the kid?"
His gaze faltered, the visor falling to the side. "If it was the right base, which I'm assuming it was... it was deserted. The entire thing. They didn't leave anything there."
"But... But, Din, he was there. We were there, together," Thell cried.
"I know, I know," Din repeated, gripping her shoulder. "But something happened while I was there... they left someone there."
Thell blinked. "Who? Why would they just leave one person there?"
"I don't know... But he, uh... He says he knows where they took the kid." His hand came to her's, gripping tight. "Come with me."
He led her slowly out through the front door, arm tight around her waist as she stumbled. He turned her towards the corner of the house, where a man was cuffed to the wooden post cemented into the ground. He was wearing a battered gray jumpsuit and worn boots. He looked older, a good twenty years or so older than Thell, with graying auburn hair and a trimmed beard. He was lolling to one side, obviously passed out as he lay slumped sideways against the post.
Thell's eyebrows quivered. "Din... what's going on? Who is this?"
She wished she could have seen his expression under the mask, to know if he was overcome as she was.
"He says his name is Theldar Avan... I think he's your father, Thell."
. . . .
uhhhh.... so yeah.
things are about to get even crazier, my friends.
thanks for sticking around chapter after chapter!! i can't believe this story has over 1.7k views now, wow!!! that is just so amazing. i'm so thankful for every single one of you. <3 all my love!!