I won't give myself enough credit to say I broke the Tooru Oikawa's heart. But I did do something and I don't even know how. One minute he's teasing me and the next he's claiming his love? That's a lot.
I force myself to push down all thoughts of Oikawa and focus on Ushijima and Bokuto. Sara glances at me from time to time but she won't ever say anything. Part of me wants her to say something. I need advice and it's not like I can talk to the boys about it.
I could talk to Akaashi but I feel like he'd be a little biased.
"This has been fun, I'm glad I came." Bokuto says pulling me in to a hug.
"I'm glad you came too... but it's a bit late."
"Yeah and?"
"And the trains don't run all day." I remind him. It takes him a moment but he realizes what I'm saying.
"AAAAGGGKKKKAAASSSSHHHHHIIIIII!!!"
"Yes Bokuto?" Akaashi glances over.
"WE'RE TRAPPED HERE!" Bokuto falls on me dramatically. "I'M GOING TO DIE HERE!"
Akaashi rolls his eyes. "I told you we didn't plan this out."
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Bokuto shakes me. "HELP ME!"
I laugh. "You can stay with me."
Ushijima pulls Bokuto off me with one hand.
"No. They can stay with me."
Bokuto looks at me and shakes his head when Ushijima drops him. "Don't make me go with him! He's gonna hit me with a volleyball while I'm sleeping."
"Sleep with one eye open then." Ushijima suggests and I gasp.
"Ushijima! Did you just say a joke?!"
"It was a suggestion, not a joke." He shrugs.
"It was a joke." Bokuto teases and runs to Akaashi to tell him, leaving Ushijima and I alone.
"I can't believe I made you say a joke." I scrunch my nose and point a finger at him.
"You make me do a lot of things." He gives me a small smile. It looks a little out of place on his face... but it's also perfect.
Just like he is.
"And a smile? Wow. I must be magic."
"Pure magic." He grabs my chin and lifts it up. My heart races like it always does, but he gently releases his grip and nods his head to the others. "Let's go,"
We spend the next hour walking around, laughing, and playing like little kids. It was nice to just let go for once.
"We should be getting back now." Ushijima says after awhile. "I can walk you home."
I start to agree but Oikawa usually waits till I get home. If he's there... I don't know if he'd like seeing Ushijima and Bokuto bouncing behind me.
I look over to Sara out of habit and even though we're on rough terms. She knows exactly what I want.
"Actually," She cuts in giving me only one glance. "I was hoping to talk to Y/N alone. If that's okay?"
"I guess so," I kick a small rock and distantly hear Tendou jump.
"Ouch! What was that?!" He looks around quickly. I pretend to be engaged in the conversation with Ushijima and Sara.
"Okay." Ushijima nods his head and Sara skips off to Tendou, Bokuto, and Akaashi. Probably saying her goodbyes.
"Thanks for tonight. I know it didn't turn out the way you wanted."
"It was better." He looks me in the eyes, and if looks could kill — I'd definitely be dead right now. He turns around to leave, but quickly stops himself, and spins back to me. "Y/N?"
"Yeah?"
"Remember when we first met and you bumped into me?"
"Vaguely," I mutter remembering every detail, from his brick body to his harsh tone. I can't believe it's only been a month.
"You asked if I was okay." He says plainly. "Even though you knew I wasn't affected at all. You still asked."
Yes, I remember the horrifying moment. Thanks Ushijima.
He continues, "And then at that practice you helped your team. You didn't even take the win. You also came to ask if I was okay afterwards."
"I suppose I did."
"You didn't hesitate to fake date me when I needed it. Technically, it was your fault for being so clumsy, but you didn't have to do everything else for me." He puts his hands in and out of his pockets. "Also, you've been through a lot. You were forced to grow up. You have this thing where you're scared because you think people are going to leave you. Your dad left and your mom is barely home. You feel the need to carry other people's problems on your back because you're afraid nobody else will."
I stare at him and blink. "Ushijima, I-"
He cuts me off. "You're stubborn and you don't like others helping you."
"Wait-"
"But besides that, you're the most selfless person I know and that's why I think I've fallen in love with you."
My heart drops. "Ushijima-"
"I've never been in love, so I don't know how it feels. But I think it feels like this. You make my heart beat really fast. I don't know how you do that to me. My hand sweats too. I also feel like I can talk to you."
For someone who barely says anything, he has a lot to say right now.
"You don't have to answer me now." He says with a shrug. "I'll give you some time to think."
I can barely form words. I just nod and thankfully Sara comes skipping to us.
"Ready, Y/N?"
I nod again.
"Goodbye," Ushijima grabs my hand.
"Bye," I choke up.
Sara pushes me away and I replay Ushijima's words in my head. Two love confessions in one night... all I'm missing is...
"Y/N! Wait up!"
Oh no...
"Bokuto?" Sara questions. "Weren't you meant to go with the boys?"
"Yeah, I just need to talk to Y/N for a moment."
Sara glances to me and takes a few steps back. I know she can still hear. She has really good hearing.
"What's going on?" I ask Bokuto since I'm finally able to talk.
"I need to say something real quick..." He plays with his fingers. "I know I'm not like as good as Ushiwaka or Oikawa, but I just wanted you to know that I'm still here."
I raise my eyebrows. "What?"
"Well I don't know if you really see me. You have such great guys surrounding you and I know they'd be better for you... but I... I- I love you."
"What?" I repeat, my throat is dry. I can see Sara's eyebrows shoot up from my peripheral.
"You once asked me if I would give the game up. I would, for you. I would give it up a thousand times if it meant you chose me." Bokuto finally looks up at me. His eyes bore into mine. "I never thought I'd give it up, but volleyball means nothing compared to you. You're like everything to me now."
I can physically see his heart on his sleeve. These are the words I've always wanted someone to say to me. He understood what it meant to me, even if I just mentioned it once.
"Bokuto! Get over here!" Tendou screams.
"Hurry up," Akaashi calls in a more monotone voice.
"I got to go, I'll see you later? Tomorrow maybe?" He smiles at me.
I nod my head at a loss for words again.
"Great! Bye, bye!" He grabs me and pulls me in to tight hug. I feel so enveloped in warmth, I don't want to move. But he pulls away too quickly.
"Bye, Bokuto."
Bokuto dashes away and Sara walks next to me awkwardly.
Now that everyone's away, I have to deal with her. We can't keep going like this.