"What are you looking for?" Jennie asked as she put her make up. Lisa had been opening and closing the drawer, the closet, even her jewelry boxes. Ten minutes and she had not found whatever she was searching for.
"My ring. Where is it?"
Jennie increased her brow, "your ring?"
"Yes. Where did you keep it?"
"Why are you suddenly asking for your ring?"
"I want to wear it." Lisa pulled another box and took all the contents out. "Hon, you really have a lot of accessories." Lisa lifted some necklaces and rings. "What are these?"
"It's for investment," Jennie answered while applied the soft pink lipstick on.
"Really? I thought it's your passion for fashion."
"That, too."
Lisa chuckled fondly, "so where's my ring?"
"Baby, you don't wear your ring for a reason. Why do you want to wear it today?" Lisa paused. She looked blank for a second before she glance at her wife. "Is this about ChaHee or do you have secret admires or something?"
"No. It's not about that at all. I just," she shrugged calmly. "I just want to feel close to you when I'm not with you."
"We've been married for years, Lili. You took it off the day after our wedding day. What is it?"
Lisa approached Jennie then bent down to give her a kiss on top of her head. She then rested her chin on Jennie's shoulder, staring at her through the mirror.
"I just want to be close to you."
---
It was lunchtime and she had nothing to do. She had finished her meal and last meeting for today would be at two, so she spared herself some time to relax and see the family album to kill the hour.
She opened the first page - her wedding day. It was around six years ago. The weather was cold, the wind was unforgiving, nevertheless, it was the happiest day of her life. She made a vow to her best friend, a vow she intended to keep for the rest of her life. Her smile was so wide and free. She saw herself in pure joy. She finally made it. She had found the one - her best friend, her soul mate, her lover for infinity and beyond.
It was one heck of journey. Fairly speaking, she wouldn't have thought that they'd be able to get to this point in the beginning. They were different from head to the root. It was amazing how they managed to adjust and give up the selfishness in order to work it out. There were always new things to be discovered in Lisa every single day. She couldn't get enough of her. Lisa was simply insatiable.
Then Jennie flipped the next page - Cape Town. Their honeymoon. She enjoyed each second of it to the upmost. Two weeks of private time apparently weren't enough. They spent the first week exploring each other's body as if was their first time. They literally made love all the time, fell asleep after, ordered room service then the circle repeated again and again and again.
Jennie blushed at the memory. Lisa could pull the passion out of her effortlessly. In every touch, Lisa would leave a tingling sensation of desire and security that could drive her to madness. Lisa's kiss sometimes so slow it frustrated her to no end. She was a perfect lover.
Then came the page of pregnancy test showing the positive sign. It should have turned out weird but she couldn't careless. She had counted - it was the fourth stick. Forth was the charm. This picture brought back so many memories of dullest period. Three times of failure plus unnecessary drama between her and Lisa were tough. But getting the triplets had paid off. Three little angels finally came and greeted the world four years ago. What an eternal blessing for her existence.
She remembered vividly during her pregnancy, Lisa had this one particular favorite song. She sang it sometimes absentmindedly but often with an extensive grin on her face. The first time she heard it, Lisa was in the shower. Lisa must have thought that she wasn't it their bedroom so she shamelessly sang on top of her lungs.
You're having my baby
What lovely way of saying how much you love me
You're having my baby
What a lovely way of saying what you're thinking of me
I can see it your face is glowing
I can see it in your eyes I'm happy you know it
That you're having my baby
You're the woman I love and I love what it's doing to you
Jennie chuckled shyly. It had become her favorite song, too. Lisa would sing it whenever she asked, even now, when she obviously wasn't pregnant anymore. Her wife was a good singer. She was still too embarrassed to admit it.
The next pages contained pictures of Lisa and the triplets. All pictures she had taken during the years. Most of them were candid. She treasured the one of the four of them sleeping like kangaroos the most. The triplets definitely had Lisa's nose and somehow, her eyes.
"Thank god they all have your eyes."
"Why?"
Lisa smiled gently with her eyes close, ready to sleep. "your eyes are the most gorgeous creature I've ever seen in my entire life."
In Lisa she obtained security and peace. Lisa had made her the happiest woman alive. She was the best gift from above.
Jennie didn't realize it had gone pass an hour. A knock on the door made her looked up from her current activity. Her secretary informed her that the client had arrived and waited for her upstairs.
After putting the photo album back to its place, Jennie grabbed her phone and all necessities. She huffed a breath, checking her appearance in the mirror then smiled encouragingly to herself.
The neat black blazer that went along with the skirt and heels successfully transformed her into an intellectual looking woman. Confidence for the first impression was a must. It was how people believed in her.
As she shook hand with the new client, Jennie could tell the man was a bit edgy. He was young, barely forty - probably around thrtity-six or thirty-eight year old, but the wrinkle on his forehead was too visible.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Kim," the man offered a weary smile. "My uncle had been praising you nonstop. You must have left him a great impression. I hope you can help me as well."
"Thank you, Mr. Park." Jennie intertwined her fingers on the table. "How can I be any help to you?"
The man looked away. He frowned at the window, obviously trying to keep his emotion intact. He inhaled a large amount of oxygen to calm down. He had practiced to speak his intention without emotional breakdown frequently. But this was hard. Every time he recalled the terrible tragedy, his first reaction was to run away. He had been running away for months. He really should stop doing that and started dealing with his problem like an adult. He had gone to see a shrink in aim to get better. But it didn't help, too. Accepting his family's death was not the closure he needed.
"I had a baby girl about three years ago," he began quietly. "Me and my wife, we had been waiting for ten years to get her. She - uh - she got a horrible condition." He bit his trembling lips and continued, "she was so small and precious."
Jennie was listening intently.
"She passed away after constantly battling this condition." He wiped the tears that managed to escape from the corner of his eye. "She had hung on as long as she could-"
"Mr. Park," Jennie placed a box of tissue next to him.
"O - Oh, thanks. I'm sorry," he chuckled uneasily. "It's still difficult for me to share this, you know?"
"Please take you time, Mr. Park," Jennie smiled kindly.
It must have been hard for him. She couldn't imagine how to deal if she had to lose anyone she loved with all her heart. Her thought went to the time when Aorta had to go through his illness months ago. Her boy survived the fight, he was safe and sound in the hospital day care right now. Sadly, this man wasn't as lucky as her.
"We had begged countless time for help. We were willing to understand the risks even the worst one. All we ever wanted was to try out best attempt. Still, the answer was no. I had tried to accept my daughter's death because maybe God had another plan for us. Maybe adoption was the answer. However, my wife not in the same page with me. Our daughter's death beat her mercilessly. She decided to end her life to be with her. Now I am all alone."
In a split second, his eyes flashed a powerful hatred.
"You see, Ms. Kim, meeting you was not my first plan. I wanted to take care of it by myself. But I think the better out of it. If I end this person, I'd be nowhere but in the jail. What's the point? My wife and my daughter would hate me. But I want the person who is responsible of my sorrow to suffer, to be tortured. I want to take everything, little by little, till no more left." He balled up his fist. His body was shaken due to the exploding anger inside him.
Jennie kept her professionalism untouched. "And who is the person, Mr. Park?"
Mr. Park withdrew his wallet out from his pocket, "some call her a hero." He pulled a slightly crumpled paper then set the wallet aside. "But for me, she's murderer. She's a murderer the moment she gave up on my daughter."
The man slid the photo paper towards Jennie.
Her pupil dilated widely at the main object of the picture. Her shoulder fell in horror. Her heart was beating erratically under her ribs. A knot obstructed her throat, making it impossible to breath. She looked up to the man in fear.
"The name is Lalisa Manoban."
He need a closure, and revenge would be perfect way.
---
"Look who's home!"
"Mommy!" The triplets shouted excitedly.
Lisa and the kids were just finished dinner when Jennie arrived at home. She had called Lisa this afternoon that she'd be home late to take care of something urgent.
Jennie forced a smile and gave Aorta, Artery, and Venous a kiss. Her children were so pure and innocent. She wouldn't let anything bad happen to them. They had the right to be safe, to be protected, to be happy forever. Their happiness would be with her and Lisa. And she would do every damn thing to provide what they deserve.
"Is everything okay?" Lisa tugged Jennie's elbow she looked at her worriedly.
Jennie was on the far side of peacefulness. The fear had ripped her composed mind and soul apart. Her children might not know it but she couldn't cover her true self to her wife. Lisa knew something was up. However, she wasn't ready. She'd talk to Lisa eventually, but tonight was not the right time.
"Yes," Jennie pecked Lisa's lips lightly. "I'm going to take a bath, alright?"
"Should I warm up your dinner?"
Jennie shook her head, "I've eaten with clients," she lied through her teeth.
"Okay."
"Can you tuck the kids to bed?"
From that only, Lisa knew how bad the problem Jennie was facing at the moment.
---
Chaos. She was a mess. She was terrified. Losing Lisa was not an option. She wouldn't survive. Lisa was her anchor, her rock, her home. There would be no Jennie if there were no Lisa. Where would she go without her? Who would she run to?
No.
Chaos. Her world would be in a complete darkness should she lose Lisa. It would be the same to breath without air, to exist without purpose, to walk in emptiness, to live with constant pain. It was not the death that was terrible, it was the process of dying. Because dying would take everything in you, wrested every little piece of you, beat you till you had nothing left to lose. She wouldn't let that happen.
A knock interrupted her thought. "Baby, can I come in?"
She would prefer alone time. She had to keep herself together first. She was not ready to face Lisa. It was already too much. Lisa could read her easily. There was no way to escape when she started asking question. Lisa always had a way to crack her up. She'd act like she would wait, like she'd give Jennie the space she needed, but then Lisa would touch her, a touch wreck her barrier with no trouble. Lisa perfectly knew how to do this smooth criminal. And she was just a helpless victim of Lisa's love.
Now the question, how to talk without mentioning how much it scared her?
"Baby?" Lisa tapped the door again. "You've been in there for an hour."
No. She was not ready. She couldn't talk to Lisa tonight. Tomorrow, maybe, when she got the control over situation.
"If you don't open the door I will break in," Lisa's voice sound worried.
I want the person who is responsible of my sorrow to suffer, to be tortured. I want to take everything, little by little, till no more left.
"Nini?"
For me, she's a murderer. She's a murderer the moment she gave up on my daughter.
How could he accuse her best friend as a murderer? How was it possible for him to have such malicious intention towards her lover? How dare he took her happiness away? He didn't know Lisa. He had no slightly idea about Lisa. Lisa was her better half, her companion for eternity, her everything.
"Do not stand or sit near door. I mean it, Nini."
Jennie rose from the bath up, letting the water flooded the floor. Right before Lisa about to smash the door, Jennie already unlocked the key. She pushed the door wider, revealing her pure naked body in front of her wife. Lisa froze in astonishment. She had never seen Jennie in this state before. Whatever happened today must have shaken her badly.
Jennie reached out for her wearily. Without thinking, Lisa pulled her close, fusing their body into one. She didn't care that Jennie made her clothes drenched. Jennie needed warmth, and warmth she'd get.
"I got you," Lisa whispered.
Jennie shook her head faintly. "Don't do this. Please don't do this."
"Do what?"
"I know what you're trying to do. Please don't. I'm not ready. Not now, Lisa, please..."
"Okay, okay. But I'm right here. I got you. I promise. I got you." Lisa tightened her embrace, allowing Jennie to breath her scent more.
They stayed like that for a moment. No one moved a muscle. Jennie permitted the time to tick her dreadfulness away in this temporary serenity. Lisa's arm was her temple. She was in the safe place. As long as Lisa held her, nothing could go wrong. Nothing could ever go wrong.
"Don't ever leave me, Lisa."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"You promise?"
"I swear on my life. I will never leave you."
"If you ever-" Jennie's voice cracked, "if you ever go, I won't survive. I will not make it without you, you hear me?"
Lisa clutched Jennie's head as she looked into her eyes earnestly. "I will never leave you. I'll be here. We'll be okay."
"You've promised. Don't you dare break it."
And they kissed.
A desperate, vulnerable kiss.
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