| 12:09 am
+ aera.
“aera i swear..” chaeyoung groans, scratching her head, “if you dont stop weeping, im going to shove this glass into your mouth.” she seethes as she glared at me but being the drunkass that i am, i continued to sob harder even if theres no tears coming out from my eyes anymore. “if it hurts you so much, why did you even attend the freaking wedding in the first place?” she hits my arm lightly, clearly annoyed. “because i thought im gonna be okay with it..” i slumped back on the seat dejectedly, kicking my feet, “i was this close to actually bawling right infront of everyone! i even squinted my eyes when he looked at me just so my tears wont run down!” chaeyoung mumbles a 'freaking idiot' as she drinks from her own glass.
jaehyun's wedding ceremony was held earlier, it was so heavy for me to watch him be married to someone else but my pride got me so i actually attended his freaking wedding. i thought i was going to be chill with itㅡ but no. even before the wedding started, i was already hyperventilating. i planned on ditching it but something in me still wants to watch him say his vows to his future spouse so i stayed through it.
i didnt attend the party after the wedding, immediately dialing chaeyoung's number and asking her to meet me at a bar instead. and hence, amidst the pumping energy that surrounds the bar, i am here at the corner 'weeping like a haunting ghost' as what chaeyoung described earlier. “i cant believe he kissed some other girl right infront of me..” sobbing harder, i covered the entirity of my face with both of my palms. “why wouldnt he? its his fucking wedding, he should kiss the bride!” chaeyoung reasons out, frowning as she looks at me. “he didnt kiss me when we got married!!” i answered stubbornly, flailing my arms around, “its unfair..” mumbling, i reached for my glass and drank whatever's inside it before an idea crossed my mind, “what if i'll kiss someone too?” chaeyoung looks up from the screen of her phone and winced, “dont do anything stupid.” shaking my head, i rose up from my seat before reasoning, “he kissed someone else! its just right to do the same..”
with a weak feet and wavering steps, i try to squint my eyes in search for any potential person i could kiss. him? no, his smile is too cocky. i dont like it. what about that guy? uh-oh. no. just no. him? he's with someone so no. a hand on my shoulder causes me to jolt in surprise, “hey its me. sorry.” mingyu appears and apologizes. waving my hand, i muttered a small 'its okay' before turning to the crowd again. “oh are you looking for someone? chaeyoung?” shaking my head, i stayed focus on scanning the crowd, “im looking for someone to kiss.” mingyu gasps in shock, brows knitting together afterwards before he turns me to face him as he starts to lecture me, “kiss someone? oh my.. aera, i know you're hurt and drunk and stupid..” mingyu halts as i briefly glared at him before he continues, “..but dont let it get to you. this may lead to something bad, you know? you dont personally know everyone here!” mingyu's voice eventually drained out as my gaze landed on the guy a couple of meters behind him. perfect. shoving him lightly, i smiled a little, “dont worry. i'll ask for a consent.”
approaching the guy who is sitting alone, i mustered up enough stupidity and drunkeness to tap him on his shoulder. he removes his gaze from his glass and raises a brow at me, “can i kiss you?” his mouth fell agape at my straightforward inquiry, “is it okay for me to kiss you?” i aked again and this time he sobbed, fake sobbed, “use me! its all you guys do to me! go on then, you canㅡ” cutting off his yapping, i tiptoed to reach for his lips. whatever, he already said its okay.
but even before the kiss lasts longer than five seconds, i was pulled away by a fuming chaeyoung as a stressed mingyu follows her. “hey!” the guy i just kissed protested, a bit confused to whats happening, “it was nice kissing you! your lips tastes like cherry..” i stupidly giggled after smacking my lips together, letting chaeyoung drag me away as mingyu apologizes to the cherry-flavored lipbalm guy.
few months later and im stuck here sitting in a restaurant, sending glares to the people across me “i cant believe i kissed you only to witness the two of you develop feelings for each other.” mingyu laughs loudly before smiling at me mockingly, “close your eyes then.” the guy beside him just chuckles before clasping his hands with mingyu's.
yeah, remember the guy i kissed at the bar? he's dating mingyu now. turns out, wonwoo (the guy's name) was also going through a heartbreak that time thats why he's drinking his ass off at a bar and said something like 'use me,its all you guys do to me' when i ask him for a kiss. when chaeyoung succeed on dragging me away from him, mingyu apologizes in behalf of me. wonwoo then starts to cry infront of mingyu thats why mingyu stayed behind to comfort him. eventually, they hit it up and now, just almost three months later, they're officially dating. acting all sweet and shit right infront of my salad.
“didnt you went out with someone last week? with mingyu's other friend? what happened?” chaeyoung asks when she came back from ordering, “you know, the usual..” i replied in a flat tone while the three of them shakes their head in amusement.
to be honest, just a month after witnessing jaehyun's wedding, drinking and crying my eyes out at nights, i started going on several dates with a couple of guys in the hopes of moving on. not too many tho, with a total of three guys up to now and they were all acquaintances. just last week, i went out on a date with mingyu's friend from college. sad to say, there werent a spark ignited between us. the guys were cute and were all gentlemen, nothing's wrong with them. this really is a me problem. the blame is on me when i always unconsciously long for someone in somebody. they may act and behave like a certain person but they.. they're just.. they're not him.
and it scares me because, what if all my life, i'll constantly look for him in somebody else? what if i'll never forget him? what if i'll never fall in love with someone new because they're not him?
months passed by in a blink of an eye and its already my birthday..again. “wow i lasted for another year..” i joke as i was gaping at the birthday cake on mingyu's hands. “make your wish, aera.” wonwoo celebrated with us too, ushering me to make my wish. then a certain person crosses my mind.. ugh, i really thought i was moving on. “you're thinking of wasting that one wish on him again, arent you?” chaeyoung snickers beside me, shaking her head as i chewed on my bottom lip guiltily.
to say i was surprised when i heard the rumor of jaehyun and mira divorcing is an understatement. i was appalled. who wouldnt be? i mean, werent they doing good? they have mutual feelings, right? what happened? all of the questions in my head remained unanswered because i dont have anyone to ask about it and both of their sides kept it private with whats really going on with the couple.
not long after, our busy lives evolved into a more lively one because a baby arrived. yeah, mingyu and wonwoo are now parents because they've adopted a baby. with both of them still learning how to properly parent a child, they needed my help together with chaeyoung's, given that we're both a little experienced when it comes to these kind of things. the both of them are clueless as hell most of the times but its obvious that they're really trying hard to learn for their child. its really cute. if things didnt go wrong, is there a possibility that im building my own family now?
“you held my hand out of nervousness? really?” wonwoo mocks the moment we got out of the grocery store with a paper bag in one hand and the other was pushing the stroller, “wait, was that him?” he stops on his tracks for a second as realization finally hits him. i saw jaehyun. after a year and a half, i saw him again. “you looked like you wanted to hug him earlier.” wonwoo teases as i glare at him. “this is unfair. he looked so handsome. why is he even more handsome now? my heart couldnt possibly handle this.” i faked a sob to annoy him, frowning as i try to remember jaehyun's face. joke aside tho, he's really gotten more handsome. “tsk. fangirl..” wonwoo clicks his tongue and walks slightly faster than me, “i swear im not accompanying you anymore the next time you do your grocery..” grumbling, i tried to catch up on him, “thats fine. i've already memorized what to get for the baby.”
few weeks later and i receive a call from wonwoo in the middle of the night. he was out with mingyu to attend a company dinner and left their baby with chaeyoung so i was confused as to why he called me at such a late hour. “hey whats up?” i greeted, sitting up. “dude something weird just happened!!” wonwoo giggled, completely giving away the obvious fact that he's slightly drunk. “why? what happened?” he lets out a couple of hiccups before managing to answer, “some giant dude just asked me if we're together! like, together-together, you know? asked if we're married and if we have a baby.” giant dude? who? my brows knit together as i try to remember if there's some 'giant dude' i know of, “when i told him no, he started to grin widely! like he just won the lottery or what. then he skips away, looking like a child who just got their favorite treat.” then the call was cut off suddenly and i didnt bother to call wonwoo back, resuming my sleep instead. maybe that's just his intoxicated side of the brain talking.
stepping out from a relaxing shower after a long day at work, i lazily walk across the living room to make myself a drink when the buzzer went off. swinging the door open, my heart immediately prodded against my chest in a hard and harsh manner, “..jaehyun?”
“hey..” he breathes out, shifting on his feet. “uh.. i have something to tell you.” despite the increasing pace of my heartbeat, i managed to raise a brow at him as he chews on his bottom lip nervously, “first off, im sorry.” with a shallow breathing, i let him continue, “i know it fixes nothing, i've hurt you already and did all other stupid things. but i want you to know that i regret all of it. i regret acting stupid, i regret hurting you, i regret not being honest with you. for leaving you and breaking your heart.” he gulps down as he blinks quickly, eyes turning red, “i want you to know that even until now..” stopping for a moment, he took a deep breath, “even until now.. i still imagine my future with you. i still want it to be you and not anybody else. i may be late but.. yeah, i just.. want you to know.” his voice cracks at the end of his sentence, fingers fidgetting with each other as he looks at me with tears in the brim of his eyes.
“you're a year and a half late already..” i replied quietly and his shoulders immediately slumps down, “and yet im still waiting for you.” a sob rises up to my throat as tears blurred my eyesight, “im still stuck with our past and i imagine my future with nobody else but you..” jaehyun's eyes widens as he lets his tears roll down, shoulders moving slightly as he sobs, “i still want it to be you.” with that, jaehyun steps closer and pulls me into a hug, face pressed against the crook of my neck, arms encircled around my waist and back as he sobbed harder, almost wetting the fabric of my hoodie as he hold me impossibly near him.
when we part, i reached up to wipe his tears using my thumb as jaehyun does the same, wiping the apple of my cheeks before tucking the stray hairs behind my ear, looking down at me with a bloodshot eyes full of affection before he asks in a hushed tone, “can we.. can we try again?” instead of answering him verbally, i pulled his face down by his nape to press a kiss on his lips. “so, was that a yes?” judging by the wide smile on his face and reddening ears, i could tell he already knew my answer to both of the questions, “you still owe me a second wedding, idiot.” pulling me closer to his frame again, he cradles both side of my face before dropping a kiss on my lips as he replies, “mhmm noted. then can we finally have two kids after?”
---
thank you for reading up until here!! your reads are highly appreciated :) see you on the next fanfic skskaja ily
ㅡ poussierè d' étoile☄