Peregrine sighed, her mouth full of something that, though somewhat spicy, was not remotely as strong as the khest peppers from that first morning. There were small scraps of meat in it, and though they were a bit chewy and gamey it was a good meal. Hastily she swallowed and turned her attention to Tena.
"So, let me be sure I understand." Tena looked up inquiringly, her bread half-dipped in the sauce. "In Tabora the table is the center of the house?"
"Yes. Being accepted at the table and accepting food from it is belonging to the family of the house."
"A family of food," Peregrine mused, looking with renewed interest at the bowl. "I wonder how many conflicts we would avoid in the north if we followed the same principle." In all honesty, sometimes family doesn't mean much either. How many small crises had been created in Avalon from family conflict and inheritance battles? That was without considering Peregrine's own situation.
"You seem sad." Peregrine jumped and looked up to see Tena looking at her in some concern. With a smile, Peregrine shook her head.
"No, I'm alright. Just... thinking."
"Mm." Tena looked as if she wanted to say something more, but she refrained. After a few minutes of quiet eating, she again interrupted Peregrine's reverie. "Peregrine, did you see what happened in the marketplace a few days ago?"
"The glow?"
"Yes. They said after it went off, people were finding Evak members everywhere." Tena paused, a complicated look on her face. "Everyone they found had the Evak tattoo, and... they were all dead. Not one mark on them, but they all died. They're saying the tattoo had to have been poisoned or something." She shivered. "Aya, I'm glad Evak is gone, but what if the next people are worse?"
"The next people?" Peregrine leaned forward over her bowl, frustration building in her core. "What do you mean, the next people?"
"There are always people like them. As long as people pay well, someone will fill in the gap."
Peregrine sat back a bit. "The Tanen." After a moment, she sighed and dipped her bread in her bowl. "Tena, why is trade with the Tanen so open here? It has to be secretive in the north."
"Aya, why would it be secretive? This is where it started."
Peregrine's head spun. Tabora, land of monsters, is the birthplace of the Tanen? Memories of the Destane facility ripped through her head, and in her heart something twisted painfully. That dark, disastrous building had done so much damage, even as a secretive auxiliary. And it had begun here?
"How?" she managed to ask, her voice sounding hoarse, strangled.
"I think it started with alchemy of monsters and monster parts, but at some point it escalated. Now, if Tabora nobility need a limb repaired or a new heir, they'll go to the Tanen. No one asks how it's done, but we all know."
"Does that mean that the main force of the Tanen is here?"
"Not in Namah, no, but if you mean Tabora... yes. Here and... I think there may be a branch in Mena as well." After a moment of silence, a hand brushed Peregrine's, and she leaped in her chair. Tena had come around the table to her, looking at Peregrine's hand. "Aya, look at you. Do you have some kind of history with the Tanen?"
Peregrine glanced down at her hand to see that it had crushed her bread to paste and it shimmered with heat, as if she'd been trying to burn the bread to ashes.
"I... do have some history. Some of mine suffered under them." Peregrine forced her hand to loosen, holding the mangled and singed bread limply. She stared down at it without really seeing it, her thoughts far away. "Most did not survive."
Tena's words were half-whispered. "Aya. Peregrine, that is..." She shook her head and removed the crushed bread from Peregrine's hand. "That is such incredibly good fortune."
Peregrine's hand clenched spasmodically. "Good... fortune?" she hissed through her teeth, her vision blurring to red at the edges. "Good fortune?"
"No one in Tabora has escaped the Tanen, to my knowledge. But some of your people did. Aya, very good fortune."
Peregrine sat in silence for a moment, her head spinning. When I brought them back... weren't they all silent? Didn't they hate me for coming so late? And yet, to Tena, the fact that they were rescued was amazing. Dazed, Peregrine remembered seeing one woman whose hand had been taken for parts; in every procession after that Peregrine had seen that woman weeping and reaching out for her horse. I remember that, because I always felt guilt for her hand. But what if the loss of her hand hadn't been the reason she was there, every time, always crying? What if she didn't blame me for coming too late? What if... The Queen's voice echoed in Peregrine's head, cold and rigid. "You have lost more than half of those taken. What sort of Champion are you? How could you have let them suffer so much? Faithless, as always. No wonder they hate you." Have I let her speak for them? Was it wrong of me to let her speak for them? She's their Queen, after all. They're her people as much as they are mine. More so, even. But... what if the Queen hadn't been speaking for them at all?
"Aya, Peregrine, use this." A cloth brushed Peregrine's hand and she realized that her face was wet. When did I start to cry? Haltingly she took the cloth and wiped her face and eyes, taking a deep breath.
"I'm sorry, Tena."
"For what?" Tena cut a new slice of bread for Peregrine, looking sad. "You are at my table now. There is no shame at the table."
Peregrine flushed. "I... I see." She watched Tena curiously. "Tena, if... If you knew someone who was doing something dangerous, what would you tell them?"
"I would tell them to think very carefully. We can't always avoid danger, but we can make sure the dangerous things count. I would ask them if there's another option, and if not, then I would say to take care of themselves." Tena glanced at Peregrine, her brow furrowed. "Why? Are you doing something dangerous?"
Peregrine shrugged, her hands shaking slightly. "And what if that person had failed before, and other people suffered for it? Would you still tell them to do the dangerous thing?"
"Peregrine, you're scaring me. Are you–" Tena clapped a hand over her mouth. "No, Peregrine, don't! You can't fight the Tanen! They'll keep you for materials!"
"I can't?" Peregrine stood, anger and will running through her blood. Her hair blew into her face from a vortex of unnatural wind. "I dealt with Evak, but you were right. There will be others. If this is going to end, the Tanen must fall. There are no other options."
"That's insane. You can't–" Tena froze. "Wait. Evak. That was you?"
Peregrine ignored the question. "Tena, where would I find the headquarters of the Tanen?"
"I..." Tena swallowed hard. "In the capital, Rheda."
"Rheda." Peregrine nodded and walked to the door. With her hand on the handle, she paused. "Tena?"
"Wh-what?" Tena whispered faintly.
"Thank you for your sincerity. Please stay safe. If this works, I'll come and see you again."
"If it works?" Tena shrieked. A bowl clattered violently behind Peregrine's back, and she smiled slightly. She must be worried. It'll be fine, though.
"Tena, listen. Evak was simple. The Tanen won't be quite as easy, but there's a real chance."
"You were the reason your people lived, weren't you?" Tena whispered.
For a moment, Peregrine was silent. Then she sighed. "I've always regretted not getting there sooner. I'm not going to go through life regretting this too. Take care of yourself, Tena."
"Y-you as well. The table will wait for you."
Peregrine smiled slightly. "Is that tradition in Tabora?"
"Yes."
"Then I'll bring something good for the table when I come back."
"Stay longer than a few days when you do."
Peregrine stepped out and closed the door behind her, taking a deep breath. Namah lay swathed in shadow, silent and empty; it seemed no one really trusted that Evak was truly gone. She couldn't blame them. She was Avalon's Champion, and she was strong. For these people, who had nothing but their thin walls to protect them, it was far too soon to act as if the night was safe.
So be it, then. I'll make it safe for them. She had worried that, with nothing to occupy her mind, it would be taken over by the Queen's voice. Those thoughts of worthlessness, of disgust at herself and her actions, might take over and drive her to her death. Even the few hours between crushing Evak and changing her focus to the Tanen had been dangerous. But there is always something to plan. As long as I have to fight, it doesn't matter. When she was finally done fighting, the Queen's voice in her head would probably send her to her death. But... not yet. Not just yet. For now, she could distract herself. For now, she got to live.