I kicked off my shoes at the door and slowly made my way towards our room. As the days went on, the shop was getting busier and busier. Aside from the regular shop hours, inventory needed to be checked and new shipments put away. Not to mention any duties involving the Order of the Phoenix. Fred and George were responsible for checking in on some of our allies that lived in Diagon Alley. I offered to make something for dinner while they were down the street at Suparplum's Sweet Shop.
I sorted through my drawers until I found a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. Once I had exchanged my work clothes for those, I turned to head back into the kitchen when something caught my eye — a silver flash from underneath the bed. I crawled down on my hands and knees and pulled the item out. A big grin spread across my face when I realized what it was. My muggle radio from back home. I totally forgot that I had packed it. George must have stuck it under the bed, not knowing what it was. This'll make cooking a little more fun. Thank Godric I still have a few of my CDs. I'm not sure what kind of signal I would get in Diagon Alley.
I set the radio up on the kitchen counter and popped in one of the various CDs. Can't go wrong with Led Zeppelin. They're my favorite. I danced around the kitchen as I cooked, occasionally singing out a few of the lyrics I remembered. I decided to try out one of the new recipes Mrs. Weasley had taught me a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't quite as good at cooking with magic, but she was using her free time to teach me everything she knew.
I jumped at the sound of Fred's laughter. The boys both hung up their jackets and kicked off their shoes before having a seat at the table. "What the hell is that?" Fred nodded towards the source of the different music, plopping down a hefty bag of sweets for me on the table.
"It's a radio." I turned down the music slightly before setting three heaping plates on the table. "It's how Muggles listen to music."
"Wicked." Fred nodded, taking a bite out of his food and nodding along to 'Black Dog.'
"You have to bring that home soon." George grinned, stabbing a green bean with his fork. "Dad is going to love it. Especially if you bring along a few of those CDs."
"I definitely will. We were constantly listening to music when I was growing up. I can't think of a time when it wasn't on." My smile faded slightly but I covered it up by digging into my dinner. I couldn't help but wonder if my dad thought of me when he listened to his radio back home.
After we all ate, we stayed up for a few hours just listening to music together and talking. I laid my head back against the armrest of the couch while George pulled my legs onto his lap. Fred sat on the armchair across from us. This gives me a serious case of deja vu from all those nights in the Gryffindor common room. Back when things were simpler.
"So...Ronnies got a girlfriend." Fred announced with a smirk. "He OWLed me about it a couple days ago. Said he'd have more to say when we see him for Christmas."
"Him and Hermione finally figured out they're in love with each other." I giggled, exchanging a smile with George. He had noticed the energy between them too. We have a little bit of experience with best friend turned lovers.
"No, no, no." Fred shook his head, bursting our bubble a bit. "It's some girl named Lavender Brown."
"Lavender Brown?" George scrunched up his nose and looked to me for any clarity.
"Remember the girl who wouldn't stop talking in Study Hall?" I quirked a brow.
"Ahhh. The first time I found a use for Ton-Tongue Toffee." George nodded. "Nice girl. She wasn't even cross with us after...just sort of laughed it off..all blushy."
"Ron may want us to bring home a sampling for him. Apparently she can't keep her tongue to herself." Fred laughed, shaking his head. "I never thought I'd hear that complaint coming from a chap."
"Maybe he's just a really good kisser." I shrugged, causing both boys to shudder in disgust.
"And on that sickening note." Fred yawned and stretched before standing. "Don't forget we're to be by the Burrow a half an hour before Christmas dinner starts."
"How come you know all of this?" George furrowed his brows as his brother walked past us and to his room.
"You know you should OWL your mother more, Georgie. Goodnight you two!" He called, closing his bedroom door behind him.
George pat my thigh, signaling he was ready to get up from the sofa too. "Let's go to bed, love."
I nodded and crossed the room to turn off the music. I got a strange feeling of comfort from spending an evening listening to the music I'm used to. It reminded me of what it felt like to be home. But of course it's missing the most important part of home...my dad.
I wordlessly followed George to bed where he gradually undressed and pulled on a pair of plaid pajama pants. He crawled in bed behind me, laying flat on his back so I could rest my head against his bare chest. We were silent for a minute but I could tell he hadn't quite fallen asleep yet as his breathing had not slowed. I looked up at him, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. "I miss him." I whispered.
"Who?" He opened one eye to look down at me.
"My dad." I sighed, my arm snaking around his waist and pulling myself closer to him.
He nuzzled his nose into my hair before pressing his lips to the spot. "I know, love. And I'm sorry. But you know it's to keep you both safe."
"Yeah, I know." I mumbled just before my eyelids begun to grow heavy.
* * *
After what felt like only a few short hours, I jolted awake. My eyes frantically searched around the dark room until they settled on where George was lying facing the wall. The only sound that could be heard was his soft snoring, in tune to the rise and fall of his chest.
Thank Godric it was just a nightmare. I haven't been able to keep my mind from Voldemort or his swarm of followers...more particularly Bellatrix Lestrange. I would think I would be safe from my thoughts in my dreams, but the last few months have disproven that. In this nightmare she had been torturing him. Using the Cruciatus Curse until he shared all the information he knew about me and the Order. And at the end, once she had realized he would not crack, there was a flash of green. I didn't even need to hear the words to recognize the curse.
There's not a chance of me falling asleep. My stomach tightened as the nightmare played in my mind over and over again, my heart racing in my chest and sweat causing my hoodie to cling to my back. It would be easier if I could just see him...just to know he's alright.
I quietly rolled out of bed and tiptoed towards the bedroom door, careful to not wake George. It would be better if he didn't know the thought that's running through my mind right now. I grabbed my wand from the dresser as I dipped out of the room, slowly closing the door behind me.
Though the Ministry may have the ability to track Floo records, they cannot possibly know when we apparate. As I lifted my wand to do just that, I chickened out. I set it down on the table with a huff and pulled a glass from the cupboard, filling it with water. After gulping half of it down, I pulled myself up onto the counter. I stared at my feet as my legs dangled over the edge. It really wouldn't be a big deal if I did pop over and see my dad. I'm of age...I no longer have the trace on me.
"What are you doing?" Fred squinted as he stepped out of his bedroom.
I jokingly clutched at my heart at the sudden sound of his voice. "Had a nightmare...needed a glass of water." I offered him a small smile. Hopefully my voice didn't come out as shakily as it felt.
"Oh...are you alright?" He watched with concern as I took another big gulp from the glass of tap water in my hand.
"Yeah I'm fine, Freddie." I assured him.
He offered me a smile of his own before dipping into the bathroom. After he was done he gave me a small salute and retreated back into his room. His eyes never fully opened that entire encounter.
Once I was sure Fred had gone back to bed, I stood. My thoughts ran rampant as I nervously paced the living room for a minute before slipping on my shoes. I'll just stop by to check in. And it's the middle of the night. It'll be quick. Alright. My mind is made up.
I focused my thoughts on my childhood home; the ivy crawling the faded bricks, the chipped blue door, and the unruly garden out back that only I tended to. The stretching feeling subsided quickly and when I opened my eyes I was looking at my old bedroom. I choked back tears at the sight of a place I could only associate with happy childhood memories. Back when there were no dark wizards trying to kill all of the people I love.
My heart swelled as I looked through a couple of the pictures on my desk. It feels good to be back...even if it is just for five minutes. My fingers traced over the spines of the books that were neatly tucked on my shelf. I can remember what year I was in when I read each and every one. My copy of Wuthering Heights still had a large black stain on the cover from where George had cockily tried to show off a quill they had invented that wrote with "invisible" ink. I didn't talk to him for an entire week for ruining my favorite novel.
I shook my head with a smile as I looked around at the multiple plants scattered around my room. All of them are withered and brown by now. I had reminded my father millions of times to water them for me, but maybe I should've given them to Ms. Baker next door instead.
I snapped myself from my reminiscing, quickly remembering my purpose for apparating here. I snuck down the hall to my father's room, purposely avoiding the boards I knew creaked. "Dad." I whispered before speaking a little louder. "Dad."
He sat up with a start, instinctively reaching for the lamp from his bedside table. "No, no. Dad. It's Leah." I assured him with a hand on his arm. I noticed movement on the opposite side of the bed and smiled when I heard the quiet mewling of Bathsheba, the calico that had made her way into our family. He had acted like the cat was a burden, but here she was cuddled close to him.
My dad settled down for a second before realization hit him. "Leah, sweetheart. I love you but you can't be here."
"It's the middle of the night. And I'm sorry I just needed to see you." My voice cracked as guilt suddenly flooded through me. I had just been at an Order of the Phoenix meeting, heard the update of missing and dead witches and wizards, and still decided I had to see my dad. He pulled me down to him, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing as tight as he could. I've missed the feeling of a hug from my father. "I'll only stay for a minute more or someone might notice I'm gone."
"I've missed you more than anything." My dad gave in, burying his face in my light brown hair. "I worry about you every day. But I can't even talk to anyone about it...because quite frankly they'd have me institutionalized for talking about a powerful, no-nosed wizard."
I giggled and relished in the feeling of laughing at his shit jokes once again. We were silent for a minute before I muttered under my breath. "I just had to make sure the nightmares weren't real."
He exhaled, stroking my hair and pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head. "I get them too. But I feel better about them when I remember you're with people who can protect you. I need you to go back now, sweetheart."
"I love you." I gave him one last big squeeze before taking a few steps back.
"I love you more. Please, Leah. Please stay safe." There was pain behind his dark brown eyes as he stared into mine. I gave him a small nod before taking one last look at the man in front of me and apparating back to the familiar flat.
I cringed when I heard the slight popping sound. I haven't quite mastered apparition enough to do it in complete silence every time. When I took in my surroundings I realized I had accidentally apparated into our bedroom. But the bed was now empty, the covers knocked to the floor in a rushed heap.
"Merlin." I heard George sigh behind me. "Fred, she's in here."
Fred nodded and rubbed his eyes before heading back to his own bedroom, leaving George and I alone. "Why would you do that!? I had no idea where you were. I assumed the worst!" He paced the room in front of me, running a shaky hand through his ginger hair. I would do anything to be out from his disappointed gaze.
"I'm sorry." My voice wavered slightly. My fingers nervously going over the grooves of my wand. "I had a nightmare."
"Why didn't you wake me then?" George threw his hands in the air before sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Did you go home?" I stayed silent. "Leah. Did you?" He pressed.
"It's the middle of the night and it was only for five minutes." I could feel the hot tears streaming down my cheeks once again.
George's demeanor instantly softened when he noticed my tears. He stayed silent for a moment until he just stood and wrapped his arms around me, holding my head against his chest. He rest his chin on the top of my head and rocked me slightly as I cried. "I'm really sorry. I just keep seeing her after that night at the Ministry." I took a shaky breath, inhaling the comforting scent that accompanied George.
"It's okay, love. I'm sorry. I lost my cool." He sighed and ran his fingers through the ends of my hair. I instantly sunk into his touch, comforted by the small gesture he had done since we were kids. "I'd just wish you wouldn't run off and do things on your own. Things are going to get real very soon. And I can't keep you safe if I'm not with you."
"I'll never do it again." I promised.
He took my wand from the waistband of my sweatpants and set it on the nightstand before leading me back to bed. "Let's try to get a little more sleep. Tomorrow will be a busy day."
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