"I can't keep up with you," Lauren whispers to Molly as they sit at the breakfast counter. "What happened to being a burden and not having feelings for him?"
"Turns out I do," Molly says.
Charlie and Perry are at the other side of the kitchen cooking them breakfast. They seem to be arguing over something to do with the stove. Their other friend also stayed the night and he's sat watching television in the adjacent lounge with a girl. Molly feels better after having two cups of coffee and along with Lauren she's wearing some comfortable sweatpants that Perry allowed them to borrow from his sister's bedroom. His parents are out of town for a few weeks and Molly has already overheard him discussing the idea of another party soon.
"I really like him, Moll," Lauren says giddily as she stares at him with adoration. "I never thought I'd feel this way about anyone. He's so patient, he hasn't pressured me once."
"I thought you'd already slept together," Molly says.
Lauren shakes her head. "No, we've done stuff, lots of stuff, but not that. We haven't really known each other that long but it feels much longer."
"I know the feeling," Molly says as she looks at Charlie. "If you're with the right person then it'll be fine right? Is there like a. . . time limit? I mean how long is too long?"
Lauren grins at Molly. "It's when you're ready and not a moment before."
"But how do I know when I'm ready?" Molly says in frustration. "And how do I know when he's ready?"
Lauren chuckles. "He's a guy he's always ready. Just don't overthink it, you'll make yourself panic. Take it slow, experiment a little, and you'll gradually build your confidence until you know what you want."
"So it's like painting." Molly folds her arms and leans back. "Hm."
"No, it's nothing like painting." Lauren holds her head in her hand as she laughs. "Painting can't get you pregnant or destroy your self-esteem."
"True," Molly says. "I'll take it slow. And maybe I'll do some research."
Lauren nods and they both laugh. Charlie and Perry finally plate their breakfast and they bring it over to them. Molly looks down at the small pile of pancakes, eggs and bacon, along with a third cup of coffee that Charlie passes to her with a smirk.
"You girls better appreciate this food because we risked our friendship over it," Perry says, giving Charlie a sideways glance.
"Eggs should be flipped over!" Charlie says. "Cooking the yolk is the best part."
Lauren lifts her pancakes up with her fork and observes underneath. "So should pancakes."
"I told him that, too," Charlie says.
"Shut up. Do I look like I specialize in cooking breakfasts? Eat it or make your own." Perry smiles when Lauren glares at him. "Please don't leave me."
"Tough choice," Lauren says.
Molly picks up her cutlery and starts cutting into her pancakes as Charlie smiles at her and touches her foot with his. The kitchen is the only area of the house that looks tidy but the rest is a mess. The breakfast didn't come free and the girls have been roped into helping clean up after they've eaten. Molly doesn't mind, it means she'll get to spend more time with Charlie. Everything happened so fast, she woke up feeling the worst she's ever felt and now she couldn't be happier. She knows she'll have to speak to Jack tomorrow and explain everything. He hasn't replied to any of her messages all morning so she's hoping that he'll just blank her.
"I think the party went well," Perry says. "Nothing's broken, there were no fights and no one had sex in my bed."
"There were three fights," Lauren says. "And two of your toilets are broken."
"Really?" Perry says. "Who fought?"
"All girls, I split them up," Lauren says. "Those zones actually came in handy."
"Zones?" Charlie says, shooting Perry a confused look. "You didn't put anyone in zones."
"It was starting to get a bit crowded," Perry says. "It seemed like a good idea until it didn't work and everyone just did what they wanted anyway."
Molly suddenly feels like that's aimed at her because Perry looks at her for a tiny second before hiding his frustration with a mouthful of pancakes. Charlie lets it go, so she does too, but a part of her wonders if there's more to it.
After they've eaten Molly and Charlie are given the back yard as their main area to tidy up. They have a strip of trash bags between them along with a dustpan and sweeping brush. Molly stares at the carnage with her arms folded.
"The faster you start the faster it'll be over," Charlie shouts from somewhere near the pool.
"Why did I agree to this?" Molly groans back.
Charlie has already filled one bag by the time Molly has arrived at the first section. He is just grabbing rubbish with his bare hands while Molly is sweeping plastic cups and cigarette ends into a neat pile. She carries the heavy dustpan over to the trash bin and tips it inside then slowly walks over to the other side where the rubbish seems to be worse. The yard looks even bigger in daylight. Some of it is grass, some is wooden decking, and at the bottom there is a maze of neatly cut hedges surrounded by small water features. Charlie walks past her carrying four full bags that jingle from the glass bottles and she scowls.
"Show off," she says.
He returns a minute later. "You need some help sweeping?"
She flips him off and he laughs as he comes up behind her. She stops sweeping as he places his hands on her waist.
"Did you just flip me off?" he says, as his arms squeeze around her stomach.
"No," she laughs. "Charlie!"
He picks her up and spins her around, placing her on the ground slowly. She touches his face as she squirms underneath his weight. "I don't take kindly to that kind of attitude," he says.
"I'll remember that," she says. "Can I get up now?"
"I'm thinking about it. I'm deeply considering it. No." He brings his lips down to hers and she holds on to the back of his head as they kiss against the floor.
The heat in her stomach intensifies. When their tongues touch, a throbbing starts at the bottom of Molly's body. It's a new sensation, natural and strong. So strong that it's hard to resist it. It's like her uterus is literally screaming at her. Charlie moves his lips to her throat and when his hand crosses with hers she can't take it anymore. Something inside of her snaps and she pushes on his chest to turn them over. She sits on top of him with her legs astride his waist and then she trails her lips along his throat until she can't wait any longer and kisses him. She runs a hand underneath his shirt and gently grabs his side, his body jerks a little from the skin to skin contact and his hand falls on her back, flipping them back around. She becomes pinned underneath his body weight and he just plays with her hair as he looks at her.
"I think we should take it slow," he whispers.
"Well, duh, we're outside."
He smiles. "That's not what I meant. I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything to please me."
"Okay, I won't kiss you or touch you anymore. We'll just stay apart." She grins at him, biting on her lip.
"Molly, I'm serious," he says with half-laughter. "When things get heated like that then I need you to tell me when it's too much."
"Or not enough," she says. He looks down on her with a still expression. "Okay, fine, I promise I'll say something. Could you make it any more obvious that you know I'm a virgin?"
Charlie laughs. "What? You are? Since when?"
She hits his arm playfully. "Just promise me something, too. Promise me that you won't treat me like the breakable girl in that hospital room. I need to be more than that."
"You are more than that," he says.
"Just promise me," she says.
"I promise," he whispers. "But I still want to take it slow."
She rolls her eyes and sighs. That's his choice and she has to respect it, just like he'd respect hers. She can't help it though. Her fingers graze his shoulder and her fingernails gently dig through his shirt, she pulls him back down and she tastes him again. He is the first to receive will power and he stands up slowly, putting his hand out.
"We need to get this done so we can get out of here," he says.
She takes his hand and he pulls her up. "Where are we going?"
"Anywhere you want."
He holds a bag open and she tips the contents of the dustpan into it. "The beach?"
Charlie sighs instantly and glares up at the cloudy sky. "There will probably be no one there so sure."
"I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything to please me," she says, mocking him. He smirks to himself, turning away from her. "I'll have to go back to Lauren's apartment to get my stuff."
"That would mean dragging her away from Perry," Charlie mumbles. "Good luck with that."
"We could invite them to come with us," Molly suggests. Charlie doesn't respond, he clenches his jaw as he bends down to pick up some bottles. "You don't like her do you?"
"She's fine," he says. "It's none of my business."
Molly folds her arms and she waits for him to turn around. "Tell me."
"I just think that you should be careful," he says. "There's just something about her, something I don't trust."
"She's been a good friend to me," Molly says.
"By influencing you to drink?" Charlie laughs and shakes his head. "Some friend."
"You don't know what she's been through. Something really traumatic happened to her a few years ago and she's just trying to find a way to cope with it. Like me."
"You met her in the hospital didn't you?" he says. "You've only known her for a couple of weeks, Molly."
"True, but I haven't exactly known you for much longer either." Molly walks towards him confidently and wraps her arms around his shoulders. "And yet I know you. I see the good parts, the bad parts and I know who you are. Explain that."
He smiles wryly. "I can't."
"Exactly. Lauren is my friend and you don't have to like her but maybe just pretend a little bit when she's around. And also, please don't tell Perry anything about the hospital because Lauren doesn't want him to know yet."
"I can do that. Come on we've done our part." He picks up the last of the bags and walks towards the house.
When she enters the lounge, Molly is angry to see Lauren and Perry snuggled up on the couch while the house is still exactly the same way as before. The floor is littered with plastic and wrappers and Molly wonders if Lauren even has OCD at all because she doesn't seem to be bothered by it, whereas Molly can hardly stand to look at it. Charlie mutters something as he walks into the kitchen and Molly follows him. She grabs her costume, heels and her bag from the table while Charlie searches for his keys.
"You leaving?" a man says from the breakfast counter, he's drinking a coffee while the blonde girl opposite him keeps her eyes on Charlie.
"Yeah, Michael, I'm leaving. Where did James hide my keys?"
Michael laughs and points to the fridge.
"You hide each other's keys?" the girls asks Michael. She has a strong European accent, Molly can't place it.
"Yeah, it's something we do at parties. So none of us are tempted to drive."
"I wouldn't drive anyway," Charlie mutters.
"It's the rules, man. Check inside the black box at the bottom."
Charlie holds his keys in his hand and shuts the fridge. He walks back into the lounge and coughs under his breath until they look up.
"We're leaving," he says. "You good here?"
"Sure," Perry says. "Thanks for the help."
"I'll come get my stuff from your apartment later," Molly says.
"Sure," Lauren says. "Just text me a time. Have fun."
"You, too."
Charlie opens the door for her and they walk towards his car. She throws the costume into the back and then takes out her phone to text Pam. As Charlie drives them out of the city Molly finds herself watching everything he does. She observes his feet that move against the pedals and how fast he changes gears to match the speed.
"What beach do you want to go to?" Charlie asks.
"Any," Molly says. "I don't mind."
"Stinson beach isn't too far. Traffic's not too bad so we could probably get there in a couple of hours."
"Cool." She watches as he becomes comfortable with the empty road and places two hands on the steering wheel. His eyes go up to the rear-view mirror and then he glances in his side mirrors.
They come up to a set of traffic lights and he moves his foot to the middle pedal, gently adding pressure until he gets closer, the car slows right down until the lights turn green and he speeds back up without ever stopping. She watches him do this for around twenty minutes, trying to observe without being creepy but he notices.
"Are you okay? There's a view out your window you know."
Molly bites on her lip and turns awkwardly. "Sorry. I've just always wanted to learn."
"What? Driving?"
She nods. "Yeah, I never really got a chance, being moved around and all."
Charlie starts to smile. "This is going to be a lot more fun than the beach."
"What is?" she says. "Charlie!"
He doesn't say anything, he just grins. He turns off the highway a few miles later and drives onto a secluded wasteland. He stops the car in the middle of a giant industrial estate and he unclicks his seatbelt.
"Come on," he says. He exits the car and walks around to her side. Molly bites on her nail as he leans over her and unclicks her seatbelt too. "You can't learn from watching."
"This is crazy," she mutters as she slides out. "We're gonna get in trouble."
"No one's around!" he laughs. "This is literally the perfect place to kill someone. You're probably going to be the first learner ever to drive over buried bodies."
Molly glares at him as she ducks under the car and sits in the driver's seat. His seat is really far back and she reaches down for the handle to adjust it so that she can reach the pedals. She puts her seatbelt on and then looks at him.
"What do I do now?"
"Turn the engine on," Charlie says. "The key, you turn it clockwise."
"Right."
"Keep your foot down on the clutch pedal," he says. "That's the one to the far left. The middle pedal is the break and the far right is the accelerator."
"Easy enough," she whispers.
"Now, shift your gear stick into first, you have to pull it left and then up." He gives her a reassuring smile but she's already feeling lost. She yanks the stick left and then it slots into a position at the top. "Good. Now bring your foot up really slowly until you feel a pull on the clutch."
"I got it," she says. "I think. This feels really weird."
"Put your right foot over the accelerator and add a tiny bit of gas, literally just tap it. You'll see the dial change on that." He points towards a clock-shaped plastic cover with numbers on it. "That's your milage. Between zero and ten is first gear, ten and twenty is second, and third is between twenty and thirty, fourth is between thirty and fifty and fifth is over sixty."
Molly rubs her head. "What about sixth?"
"Don't worry about sixth you will definitely not be using that," Charlie laughs. "So just add the little bit of gas and keep your left foot really steady on the clutch. Ready?"
She nods uneasily. Charlie grabs the handbrake stick next to Molly's arm and clicks it until it becomes loose then pulls it down. The car moves forwards very slowly and Molly is excited and also terrified.
"Bring the clutch all the way up and take your foot off it," Charlie says. "And then add a little more gas."
She follows his instructions and she watches the dial as it hits ten. "How do I put it into second?"
"Put the clutch down again and then move the gearstick straight down." He places his hand over hers and moves it for her, that was easy enough. "Add more gas. Keep your foot on the accelerator, if you take it off the car will jolt and stall."
She nods, her hands squeezing around the wheel as she drives straight on. She decides to turn and she does it a tad too sharply. The wheel is very sensitive, just the slightest movement turns the car.
"Now you're going to try third gear," Charlie says. "This is where it gets a little faster."
"What if I hit something?" Molly demands in a panic.
"What could you possibly hit?" Charlie laughs. "Look there's a tree about five miles away that's running towards us, be careful!"
"Shut up," Molly hisses.
"Speed up to thirty," he says. She takes a deep breath and presses her foot down. The difference in speed is terrifying. "Clutch down, and then you're going to go up into neutral, let it hang there for a second and then up again to third." He makes the movement swiftly with her hand. "Bring the clutch back up slowly to the top."
"Oh my god I'm doing it!" she shrieks out happily. "I'm driving."
"Yes but you're going way too fast," he says as he watches the dial. "Change to fourth."
She glances down at the gearstick numbers and finds fourth in the far-right corner. Without him having to show her, she holds the clutch down and then slides the stick down, then to the right and up. There's nothing in front of her but miles of land and she covers it in seconds, she can't even take her eyes away from the window for a second so she wonders how Charlie can even talk to her while driving.
"Will you teach me how to drive on the roads?" Molly says.
"In the city, on the highway? Hell no. You should probably get your learner's permit before I start teaching you."
"I will. This is so cool!"
"Now try and drive back to the highway," Charlie says. "Put pressure on the break and do the exact opposite."
"Okay?" Molly slows the car down and changes the gear back to second. She turns the wheel right and the car faces the opposite direction. She picks up the speed again and soars them back to their original place.
"To stop, just keep breaking gently, you don't need to change gears. Wait until the dial gets to just under ten and then put the clutch all the way down and keep breaking until you stop."
She nods. Stopping is much easier than moving, when the car has fully stopped Charlie pulls up the handbrake and tells her to take her feet off the pedals. Her ankles feel a little sore but she's so proud of herself that she doesn't care.
"That was amazing," she says.
"You're a natural," he says. "Let's switch, I'll feel more at ease when I'm back on that side."
They exit the car and walk around the same side. He catches her wrist somewhere in the middle and kisses her against the car. Molly is on such a high that she just goes with it, his hands touch the skin of her waist underneath her sweater which makes the throbbing begin and she pulls his shoulders down as they fall on the bonnet. He supports her back to bring her to her feet and her eyes go over his shoulder as she stares at the highway in the distance. Molly squints her eyes, wondering if she's imagining the man dressed in black that is staring at them next to the road.
"Someone's looking at us," Molly says.
Charlie looks too but he doesn't seem concerned. "They probably saw the car and were just checking it wasn't an accident. Let's go."
"Yeah."
Molly sits back into the passenger side and checks the back mirror but the man is gone. There's no sign of him or any other cars as they reenter the highway.
"I told you, this is serial killer central," Charlie laughs. He suddenly bites down on his lip and becomes furious with himself. "God, Molly I'm so sorry, I didn't think. I'm such an idiot."
"You're allowed to make jokes," she says. "It's fine." She glances back to the window, her eyes scouring every inch of the dry land for miles. The man has unsettled her, but Charlie's right, it was probably just someone driving past that was checking nothing bad had happened. So why is she starting to panic?
It's not him, Molly tells herself as she becomes paranoid. It can't be him, he's in prison.
And that's what she tells herself over and over again as they drive to the beach.