A/N:
Sorry for another late upload- I was busy with spending as much time as possible with my family. I hope everyone had a great and safe Christmas and a happy new year! hopefully 2021 will be much better.
Lydia stood in front of Derry's congregational church, staring at the almost intimidating building she had stopped in front of while out trying to find Richie. She had barely ever went inside the church before, only going in when the losers club were waiting for Stanley, or she was helping Stan with his speech for his Bar Mitzvah.
"Lydia!" Young Richie shouted, ignoring the stares from the people around him and his mother shaking her head as he ran up to Lydia.
She stood far in the back, away from the crowd of people and nervously fiddling with her dress. It wasn't as fancy as the other kids who stood with their moms, but it was all she had. Upon hearing her name being shouted, she dropped the bit of the dress she was fiddling with and looked up, seeing Richie running towards her in his light blue suit.
Lydia rolled her eyes but smiled at him, "Hey Rich."
"I didn't think you'd come. No one else is here..." Richie told her, glancing around at everyone standing outside the church, waiting for Stanley's father to let everyone in.
"Do you think it's because of the fight... between you and Bill? I mean- none of us have spoken much since.." Lydia asked
Richie shook his head "no ones spoken to me. I get that I messed up but, why did everyone have to go against me?"
"Look, we all know it won't last forever. We'll be talking again in a week or so, everyone just needs some time. We've all been stuck together, fighting a killer clown and trying to stay alive since we got off school for summer break, I think everyone just needs to have some time alone. Or at least somewhat alone.." Lyds told him quietly, watching as all the adults were finally let in. "We should go in."
"This is going to be fucking boring. I'd rather have school than listen to this shit" Richie groaned
"I feel bad for Stan.." Lydia mumbled.
"Stan? Why? We're the ones who have to sit and listen to all this shit without a choice, he chose to do it."
"That's the thing. He didn't. He doesn't even want to do this, he just has to because of his dad. You saw how much work he put into memorising that speech and it was all for his dad. Do you think he actually looked happy learning that stuff? Cause I sure didn't. He doesn't deserve to be forced into stuff like this, he should be able to live how he likes and make his own choices. I get that he's young and his parents should have a say but it's a lifelong choice, realistically it's going to affect him more than them, they have no right to just choose his life like that. Especially when it doesn't make him happy." Lydia ranted, though she made sure to stay quiet as the two had stood in a line, waiting to get in and be greeted by Stanley's parents who stood at the entrance of the door, smiling at everyone and thanking them for coming.
At this point of time, Lydia and Stan had admitted their feelings to eachother and were hanging out more, but were more so in the "middle" section between not dating and dating. The only person who knew this of course, was Beverly.
"I guess that's true, but you're only saying that because you loveeeee hi-" Richie began to tease, before being interrupted by Lydia giving a quick and stern "shut up" as they came up to the front of the line and were next to be greeted by Stan's parents.
Lydia put on a very big and sweet smile, trying to hide her anger for them at the moment.
"Ah, Lydia.... Richie." His father spoke, speaking Richies name with a hint of disgust.
"Mrs. Uris.... Mr. Uris." Richie replied, the same hint of disgust clear in his tone as he spoke to Mr. Uris but he kept a innocent smile on his face.
It seemed as if the two boys were having a stare off as Lydia and Mrs. Uris stood awkwardly for a moment.
"Okay well, we should probably go get our seats. Don't wanna miss Stanley's speech." Lydia quickly spoke, laughing awkwardly and pulling Richie away.
As soon as the two turned away from the parents the smiles dropped from their faces "god I hate them." Lydia muttered.
She decided instead of sitting alone beside a bunch of strangers, to instead sit beside Richie and his mom, having a conversation with them until the bar mitzvah had started.
While Stanley's father droned on about how important this was for Stan and how he was going to become a 'man' or how excited Stan was, Lydia had basically completely zoned out, only coming back to reality when Richie would lean over to whisper something in her ear, usually something in attempts to make her laugh -which he had almost succeeded in a few times- or something to do with how bored he was.
However, when Stanley stood up and it was finally time for his speech, Lydia had begun to pay attention, as did Richie.
Lydia leaned into Richie, whispering "This is the speech I helped him with" with a small smile.
"Reflecting on the meaning of what I just read, the word 'Leshanot' comes up a lot, which means 'to change, to transform.' Which makes sense, I guess because today I'm supposed to become a man. It's funny, though. Everyone, I think, has some memories they're prouder of than others, right? And maybe that's why change is so scary." Stanley began.
Lydia furrowed her eyebrows slightly "Uh- I think he changed it a bit... I don't remember this." she whispered to an equally confused looking Richie.
"Cos the things we wish we could leave behind... the whispers we wish we could silence... the nightmares we most want to wake up from... the memories we wish we could change... the secrets we feel like we have to keep... are the hardest to walk away from." Stan continued.
Richie and Lydia both turned to look at each other for a moment, both trying to figure out where this was going as Stan had paused for a second.
"The good stuff? The pictures in our mind that fade away the fastest? Those pieces of you it feels the easiest to lose. Maybe I don't want to forget. Maybe if that's what today is all about...forget it, right? " Stan finished, seeming as though he was in a daze for a moment until his father, who stood behind him stepped forward, attempting to grab the mic "Thank you, Stanley."
"Uh.." Stanley stuttered, quickly moving away from his father, briefly making eye contact with Lydia and Richie "Uhm- today, I'm supposed to become a man, but I don't- I don't feel any different. I- I-" He quickly spoke, looking behind him as he tried to get away but was stopped as his father grabbed the lead for the mic.
"I know I'm a loser. And no matter what... I always fucking will be." he spoke sternly, keeping eye contact with his father.
Lydia and Richie widened their eyes slightly, "I'm guessing that was not in the speech you helped him prepare?" Richie joked.
Stanley dropped the microphone, turning to leave the church and ignoring the gasps and murmurs behind him.
Richie quickly stood up, clapping loudly and smiling widely. Before Lydia could get up to clap with him, Richie's mom, Maggie, quickly pulled Richie down to his seat and gave somewhat of a warning look to Lydia. While she had been proud of Stanley for standing up for himself, especially after listening to Lydia complain about his parents almost every time she would stay at the Tozier house, she still did not want people to be talking about her, her son or even Lydia badly. Derry was a small town after all, soon enough everyone would be talking about how she had sat back and let her child applaud what would be known as a 'horrible scandal'.
Stanley quickly left the church, looking back for a second at Lydia and Richie. Once he had left, both Lydia and Richie quickly looked at Maggie with pleading looks. She sighed before nodding her head towards the door, moving in her seat as the two quickly got up, running after their best friend, ready to tell them how proud they were of him.
Lydia walked to the side of the church, looking at all the paintings on the wall.
Suddenly, someone grabbed her shoulders, shouting out a 'boo!' and spinning her around.
"Fuck- Richie! What the fuck-" she panicked
Richie laughed at her, pointing back towards the aisles that was behind them "you seemed to be thinking so hard when you came in you didn't even see me sitting there."
"Oh- sorry I was thinking about Stan's bar mitzvah years ago... I was only out to-" Lydia suddenly stopped, quickly looking up at Richie with an angry look before she hit his shoulder
"Ow- what-" Rich began, rubbing his shoulder
"You're an asshole! You were going to leave! I got back to the hotel and you were gone. I had to go back to my house. I- I remembered stuff that I wish I didn't. I wanted to go back and talk to you, but I got stuck in the house because of the clown and then Beverly thankfully found me because she and Ben had noticed Stan and I hadn't come back yet. Ben thought he'd convinced you to stay behind but after Beverly and I got back, Eddie was attacked by fucking Bowers. The Henry Bowers came into our hotel and literally stabbed Eddie in the fucking cheek-he has the same stupid fucking mullet by the way- and then I realised you had left and-" Lydia rushed out quickly, her hands waving around and tears slowly rising to her eyes.
"Lydia. Stop." He spoke calmly, watching as she took a few deep breaths and then looked up at him.
"Eddie was fucking stabbed? By Bowers? Is he okay?" He questioned
"Yes, he was stabbed by Bowers. To be fair, he stabbed him back and injured him quite a bit. Beverly is currently with him and they're out looking for you. Ironically, Eddie for once didn't care about his health and wanted to find you before you left. Although he said it's because leaving first is 'his thing' " She answered
Richie sighed, rubbing his hands down his face "I'm sorry I was planning to leave. I got freaked out by what I saw. Pennywise knows. He knows the secret I told you years ago, the night I found out about your mom. He knows. I freaked out that he was going to tell people and decided I wanted to get the fuck out so he couldn't hold it against me. You know how much I've panicked about that stupid secret for years. I just- I'm not ready. Not yet." Richie told her.
Lydia gave him a sympathetic smile and the two began to walk out of the church, "Look, I know your secret is a big deal and I can't imagine how terrifying it is that the clown now knows but I don't think he really will use it against you, he's only bringing it up to scare you. And if he does use it against you, you know the losers club wouldn't hate you for it or anything. You're still Richie."
The two got into Richie's car and Rich let out a long sigh "Lets just.. text the others to meet us back at the hotel. We can all rest for a bit, we would probably need it seeing as we all just had an interaction with fucking Pennywise. We can meet Mike later."
Lydia quickly texted Mike, letting him know that everyone would probably be down later and then texted the others to go back to the hotel and that she had found Richie. Lastly, she sent a text to Ben, asking him if he had found Stanley and was he okay.
On the ride back to the hotel, Richie noticed how Lydia had sat in her seat, staring at her phone sitting on her lap, waiting for a notification.
"Who is it?" He asked her, glancing at her for a second.
She lifted her head up and looked at him confused, "what?"
"Is it Stanley..?" He pushed
For a moment, she didn't answer, instead looking back down at the phone, "Ben. I'm waiting for him to tell me if he found Stan.. and if Stan's okay."
Her phone beeped and she quickly lifted it up, unlocking her phone. After a second, Richie could see her visibly relax.
"He's okay."
"..that's good..."
Richie paused for a moment before quickly rushing out "and so Eddie is okay right? cause- you didn't exactly clarify it before-"
"Oh jeez-"
(Do I feel iffy about the last few paragraphs? Yes. Did I rush them because I felt bad for not uploading in forever? Yes.
I hope everyone in the USA right now is safe. If you are having bad anxiety or are worrying about the things going on, please do not hesitate to reach out to me and we can talk about anything.
Stay safe! <3 )