"How was your flight?" Joohyun asked her boyfriend as he sat on her sofa observing her.
Joohyun was in her mini kitchen. With all the turmoil, she almost forgot her dinner being cooked on the turned on stove.
"It was okay," Joonmyeon replied, "it's been almost a month since I've last seen you. How were you?"
"I was good," Joohyun smiled stirring the soup and tasting it. After a little shock knowing that he was back in the country, Joohyun calmed down and was more welcoming.
Suddenly, she felt the presence from behind and two big arms wrapped around her waist. Startling the girl, Joonmyeon laughed and looked at the dish she was cooking. Being a little uncomfortable doing the task at hand and being captured from behind, Joohyun tried to move but ended without much success.
"Can I taste it?" Joonmyeon asked her not letting her go yet.
"It's ready. You must be starving after a long flight. I'll serve this on the table," turning to face the guy, Joohyun calmly broke out of the tight embrace. "You can sit here," she pointed at the bar table for two. Perfect for two people. Joonmyeon smiled shyly turning back to take a seat. He was confused of why she was acting so distant from him. Especially now, when he just returned back to Korea.
"It's been a while since I've eaten your food. This looks delicious. Thank you, I will eat well!" he smiled at her before starting his trapeze. Joohyun returned the smile. 'Why does he have to be so polite,' she thought. Out of nowhere, she thought about the times when Baekhyun had dinner at hers. Someone who is the complete opposite of the man sitting in front of her.
He would just barge into her apartment with a pouty face, telling her that he could eat the whole cow going straight to her refrigerator. Sometimes, the boy could come with takeouts, but all the other times he preferred to have meals cooked by her. His mother would often send him homemade kimchi and other side dishes.
'Why are you even thinking about it, Joohyun?' The girl was so angry at herself. 'He just likes to rob your food supplies. And you have an amazing boyfriend who cares about you a lot.'
How did she came to be tangled with Joonmyeon, though? Him being kind and sweet to her was what got her into him at first. She liked him for a few months before she started dating him. It was like a crush things at first. And the fact that Joonmyeon himself started liking her was astonishing. However, things didn't go as Joohyun wanted them to go, and she became stuck in a very difficult situation.
Unfortunately, being with Joonmyeon wasn't what her heart wanted. She figured it out in the last few weeks and decided about that in the last few days. Thanks to her best friend. It didn't matter now if Baekhyun liked her or not, she didn't want to be cruel anymore. Joonmyeon didn't deserve it.
"I'm sorry I couldn't answer your calls. I was on the plane. Was it something important?" the male in front of her asked eating the soup.
'It means he didn't see the post. That's a relief.'
"It's okay. Nothing serious. I wanted to know when you are coming back," Joohyun smiled at him.
"I shocked you with a surprise visit, didn't I?" Joonmyeon chuckled. "Don't worry, I got a vacation from my father. He let me study until the end of the semester. Guess, I worked hard at the company that he became so attentive to my studies."
"That's good that you're not taking much on yourself. You're still in your junior year," Joohyun smiled adding the rice to her soup.
Only now, sitting opposite Joonmyeon and realizing that he was more of a good friend to her than a boyfriend, she felt really bad. She felt confused. Her heart ached whenever he looked at her with a big smile on his face and she could not help but smile back.
Joohyun had to tell him the truth. She knew. She wanted to do that at the right time. She can't be egotistical and have everyone to herself.
'I'll tell him. The sooner the better,' she sighed looking ahead at the male, frustrated by herself. Now, all she got to do was to gain some courage and confidence before confessing her true feelings to him.
Baekhyun let out a big sigh, looking out of his car window and staring at the apartment complex. He came about twenty minutes ago. Pulling off at the parking, he saw a man with a lot of shopping bags and flowers in his hands, hurriedly making his way to the entrance.
Baekhyun recognized Joonmyeon from two things. First thing was the way of him walking and the second - his fancy car. And to add to that, that was a newer car than the one he had last seen Joonmyeon driving. It was easy to identify him because of the only expensive vehicle that was here. Rich people really have different aura. "Why does he have to be so rich?" Baekhyun laughed to himself but there was no humor in his voice.
Sighing to himself, he decided not to intrude in the couple's matters and leave them alone for some time. The reason of him being there was that he has read the message that Joohyun had sent him. Thinking a lot about whether to go or not to go, he finally inferred to visit his friend, and... maybe... tell her about all the feelings that he had felt before this day for her. Baekhyun wanted to get over with it when he had a chance. Only if he saw a chance.
However, this situation turning up before him, meant that he really shouldn't go there. It was a signal for Baekhyun to back off. He leaned back in his seat, sighing helplessly.
"I should just forget about her," Baekhyun chuckled at himself without humor, "but then... It's unfair for me."
He sat there staring at the wheeling, "no... I think I am being selfish. That's not right. She has a boyfriend whom she is happy with... I can't ruin that..." Baekhyun started the engine.
"Right, Baekhyun... its time to let her go already..."Peering his eyes at the entrance again, he pulled out from the underground parking lot.
Days passed by but Joohyun couldn't get a chance to see her best friend. He wasn't seen in the hallways and didn't come to her side of the building after classes ended as always. Neither was he answering her calls or messages.
Joohyun concluded that he was avoiding her or something happened to him. But his friends said that nothing has changed, and Baekhyun was coming to classes as usual. 'Strange'
After classes ended she went home to get ready for the party in the evening. She felt worn out after dancing and wouldn't have gone, but since Joonmyeon practically pleaded she didn't have any other choice than to agree.
Speaking of which, she didn't bring up the 'break up' topic yet. And it was set aside for the time being.
That evening Joonmyeon tried get near to kiss her, but she changed what we could call the romantic mood to something else, saying that she wanted them to play some computer games. She still let him kind of lean on her the whole evening. Joonmyeon kept it off cool saying that he didn't know that she could play. And she played since the high school.
This evening, wearing all black, applying a light makeup and adding shiny accessories, Joohyun was ready to go. She didn't see Joonmyeon last few days either. He was busy dealing with the subjects that he missed. But Joonmyeon told her that he will definitely pick her up so she didn't have to go there alone.
Driving closer to the night bar where the party was held, Joohyun noticed some girls from other faculties of the university.
The night was young and Joohyun thought that she might have fun even though she didn't have fun since Baekhyun kind of disappeared from her sight. Everything was going fine until the moment she actually saw her best friend. And was she mad that he was having fun drinking and playing games with his mates without even being worried about how he left her without any words.
And to add to her great confusion and fury, Joohyun saw something even worse. The girl beside him. What was he thinking?
"Baekhyun oppa!" Jinah said with her sweetly high pitched voice. Usually, it would bother Joohyun that much and she would think that the overly high voice was unique feature of a girl. Right now, she didn't think that her sweet voice was that sweet and that her ears would be bleeding now if she was on Baekhyun's place.
She couldn't put together how the hell was he sitting and enduring all of her antics while only two weeks ago he said that he couldn't stand her. Heck, they even pretended to be a couple in front of her. Was that all for nothing?
Ooh, how mad Joohyun was at the moment. She wanted to go all the way through the crowd to the other side of the club, but held back. And that was the right decision she thought. She couldn't confront him because they weren't anything but best friends. Friends don't go against wishes of their friends. No matter how much she wanted to go and roll the neck of that chick, she couldn't.
"What is it? Jealousy? No, no! I'm not jealous!" She talked to herself and turned back to the crowd in her seating area. Joonmyeon's friends from his class and some young business partners seemed to be gathered around her and her "still" boyfriend.
Baekhyun felt lightheaded after the first glass of strong alcohol. He didn't budge when he took his frost shot of beer, so he went further with tequila and whiskeys, added some cocktails at the end. And the Vodka that his group mate made him drink made him regret his deduction of coming here. Baekhyun had medium alcohol tolerance, usually. And he thought he outraced his capabilities to the point where he couldn't think straight. He came here to have fun and forget his worries.
"What are you doing here alone?"
He heard a female voice coming closer to him and sitting beside. Her face was blurry like everything else in Baekhyun's eyes at the moment.
Something cold wrapped around his neck and he felt it was the fingers of the person who spoke to him a second ago. Drunk state or not, Baekhyun wanted to think that it was Joohyun. Half conscious he leaned to a cold touch.
"Oppa."
He opened his eyes to see who it was. Definitely a girl with long hair. Definitely leaning on him. Definitely not Joohyun.
"Why are you here?" he asked Jinah, untangling himself from her and scooting further. His head was thumping with ache.
"Obviously I'm here to have fun. What about you?"
"Had nothing to do tonight."
"Do you want to come along with my friends later? We wanted to go for the second round." Jinah said smiling at him.
"Second round... after club?" Baekhyun chuckled.
"Yeah."
"I'm not that young."
"Oppa, you're just a year older than me!"
"No, I can't. My head will explode any moment."
Jinah wasn't heard for a moment. Then she suddenly moved closer to him and tried to turn him around. "I'll give a massage then."
"Thank you... but I think I'll better go," he said, but Baekhyun didn't move from his spot, too tired to get up and fed up with loud music in the space.
On the other side of the club there was going on a heated conversation about helping their friend to get a girl. One of Joonmyeon's friends was planning a strategy of finally getting a girl for their hopeless friend.
"Guys we have to go somewhere after this. Get them in the comfortable area and just leave them alone at the end..." Talking went on.
"Joonmyeon... I think I'll pass. Wanna go home." Joohyun whispered in his ears so only he could hear.
"Are you alright?" Joonmyeon tensed at her serious tone.
"I... I don't feel well... maybe I've drunken too much tonight..."
"But you barely touched your glass. Are you sure? Is there anything disturbing you?" He wanted to know if his girlfriend was sick.
After not getting an answer but a tired sigh from her, Joonmyeon felt a bit confused about her behavior. Maybe he should've just taken her home. He finished his drink and stood up from the couch.
"Okay. Wait for me. I'll take you home."
"No, you don't have to..."
"I said I will take you home, Joohyun. How can I let you go like that alone? That's not what good boyfriend does."
"But you've drunk tonight? How are you going to drive?" Joohyun tried to stop him.
"Then... I'll just walk you home. Let's go," he started to gather his things that were on the table.
"Okay," Joohyun stood up getting ready to leave.
They left the noisy club and walked in the direction of Joohyun's apartment. Every step she took was heavy as her heart. Seeing her best friend having fun without her made her raging with anger and disappointment.
Joonmyeon was walking mutely by her side, sometimes shakily because of the alcohol in his system. Joohyun had to hold his arm in case he fell on the street. They were passing a bridge. Night was young and the lights across the river were reflected on the water beautifully. Like smooth sparkles of the stars in the sky.
Joohyun stopped her walking to see and process the view, but it was hard. Tears were ready to fall on her cheeks and her throat started aching. It felt like it was hard to take a breath.
"Are you sure you're okay? Did you, perhaps, fall sick?" Joonmyeon seemed less drunk.
"No."
"I already told you, right? You can tell me anything. There is clearly something bothering you. You were uptight since we left the club," Joonmyeon was asking her as softly as he could. "Something happened while I wasn't around you there?"
"I'm sorry..." she whispered after sometime. Her face was hidden by her hair and she was looking down. Holding onto handrails she tried to breathe, but it came out as a whimper.
"What... are you sorry for?" He asked.
Joohyun was still hesitating to look up at him. But Joonmyeon' hand was nearing her face and she gave up.
"I'm so sorry, Joonmyeon! I feel so lost right now! I'm the worst person that has ever existed on this planet!"
"What are you talking about?! Hey! It's not like that!" He took her face in his hands and searched for the eyes.
"I've used you! I shamelessly used you for my own benefit... I'm such a trash. I thought I could control my feelings and emotions, but I can't! I deserve every terrible thing that are happening to me! If you are mad right now, you have all the right to be! But I'm so sorry!"
"When Baekhyun came to me asking for a help to stop a girl form chasing him, I stupidly agreed. I didn't want to at first. But then I just fell into his trap, like I always did. We pretended to be a couple, so Jinah will take a hint that Baekhyun is not interested in her. It worked but then the news came out at university that we were 'real' when we weren't. And I almost lost my mind trying to fix all the rumors there."
"Those weeks before you came back were the hardest for me. I was constantly thinking, trying to find the way out of this bullshit thing called 'liking Baekhyun' that I had back in school, but i just couldn't."
"Every time I looked at you since you came to my apartment with expensive presents that I didn't deserve, the guilt was so painful that I wanted to tell you without any minute lost. I couldn't. I was afraid. Backed out like a little girl."
"And tonight when I saw him having fun with her I... felt so... hurt."
There was silence after Joohyun's breakdown and confession. The guy was intently observing her.
"You like Baekhyun, am I right?" He took his hands away.
"Unfortunately, I do," her voice was a little cracked from crying.
He sighed helplessly disappointed with her agreement. "Its been pretty obvious... I can tell it by the look of your eyes and by the way that you've always acted around him. But does he feel the same way?"
"It doesn't matter now. I just didn't want to lie to you and to myself. I don't know what he feels..." Joohyun finally told the truth. All this time it was eating her in the inside. After she stopped sobbing and wiped her tears she continued, "you can hate me all you need now. I will take it all."
"I can't hate you ever, Joohyun."
"But you should-"
"Look, I can't. I just can't," Joonmyeon smiled for the first time since she confessed to him about everything.
Joohyun tried to smile back but it didn't reach her eyes. She broke his heart and he was still so considerate and loving to her. "You are just drunk, that's why you don't process what you are talking about."
"I do! Even if I'm drunk, I can understand that you are rejecting me now and that you had feelings for another man for a long time. I feel a little hurt and maybe later I will be in agony when I'm fully sober and ready to take the news."
"You are mad at me?"
"Not really. I just feel dumb that I didn't notice it earlier."
"I really tried to like you, Joonmyeon. And maybe at some point I did. But-"
"But the heart wants what it wants." He was faster.
"I'm really sorry that everything turned out not the way we wanted and I've hurt your feelings, but can we stay friends?"
"Yeah, we can," he smiled looking at her tearful eyes. He wanted to wipe them but stopped in the midway to her face. If he wanted to forget her, he should start with avoiding the physical contact with her. But something was left. "Even though it's gonna be hard."
Joohyun thought that she was asking for a lot but she didn't want them to part in bad ways. When they got to Joohyun's apartment building, they stopped to bid each other goodbye.
"Should we hug for the last time then?" Joonmyeon said seconds later. It felt like all the walking they did blew away the alcohol from his system. He was more sober now.
"Of course," Joohyun laughed at the offer and gladly took it. They hugged for a few seconds and let go of each other.
"Well, I should get going. Go in."
"Thank you for walking me home. And for... everything, Joonmyeon."
"I should thank you too. These few months that we've been together were the happiest moments in my life. Even though half of it I was abroad," the guy chuckled.
"You deserve someone better. Someone who will truly love you."
"You too, Joohyun. Are you going to confess to that idiot friend of yours?" Joonmyeon couldn't stop what was coming from his mouth. But seemed like the girl thought the same way.
"I don't know. Maybe no," she chuckled bitterly, remembering what she saw in the club earlier.
"Well, it's your choice. But on your place, I would definitely try it out. Who knows? Maybe he likes you too."
Joohyun smiled looking at the boy who she was with for the past few months. Waving him goodbye for the last time this evening, Joohyun went entered the building to go up to her apartment. One out of the two important things were done. She didn't know if she was ready for the last one though.
A/n:
Back. With. A. New. Chapter. And. Really. Sorry. For. The. Delay.
Love. You. All. ❤️