"Let me get this straight. You want to open up my chest to fix this valve or whatever?"
"That's the plan, yes, Mr. Park." The fifth year resident nodded. His face was calm even though his patient seemed nearly to swallow him whole. The other residents in the room stood still.
"Will it leave any scar?"
"Yes. Give it more or less ten centimeters."
"This is insane!" He shouted desperately. "You want to do a tiny little fixing on my heart but you have to open it that big?!"
"We need a clear view, Mr. Park. We work under standard protocol. Your procedure is no different with other people who get the same surgery."
"I want a TAVI." He said determined. "My friend as the same disease as I do. His doctor performed this TAVI on him. He has no scar."
"But TAVI is very risky. Do you really want to die because of stupid scar?" The resident scoffed. He had dealt with many types of patients, but this one was different and ridiculous. He didn't want the procedure but he wanted the surgery. The one he couldn't do because it'd affect his entire career.
"Dr. Hwang will take a look more into it, right, Dr. Hwang?" The attending gave him a sharp glare. He had no choice but to obey.
"Yes," He muttered quietly.
"That's more like it, Son." Mr. Park smirked victoriously. "Thank you, Doctor." He saluted Lisa with the strength he had, earning a small nod from her.
The Doctors made their way out to the nurse station. Lisa increased her brow at the guy expectantly.
"Dr. Manoban. The board is starting to stick their nose to every fifth year residents. What happen in the OR will cost my entire career. I can't fail now." He spoke lowly, implicitly asking for her consideration.
"Who else the fifth year resident?" She asked the residents on her service.
"Me, Doctor." A female resident hastily moved to the front.
"I've never seen you before." Lisa folded her arms with her impassive expression.
"I'm sorry I'm late, Doctor. Dr. Ahn asked me—"
"Excuses won't do anything good to me, Doctor – what is your name again?"
"Nancy McDonie, Doctor. I'm from Dong-A University Hospital. This is my first day on your service, Dr. Manoban." She quickly bowed. She had worked as a doctor for half of her life. Her attending back in her old hospital were no less scary. She was used to the constant pressure they gave. But Dr. Lalisa Manoban was very – very intimidating. Her figure could easily intimidate anyone, really.
"Sure." Lisa replied flatly. "Do you perhaps, despite the fact that you're late, know about Mr. Hae-joon Park's condition?"
"Yes, Dr. Manoban." Nancy started telling the attending the complete anamneses, physical examination and all the workups. She was grateful she managed to read all cardio patients charts the night before. She wouldn't be surprise if Dr. Manoban threw her out of her service just because she missed a patient. She was that kind of attending.
Heartless, she meant.
"Do you have any idea about TAVI?"
"Um-"
"Read about it? Watch? I doubt you ever perform this before," Lisa cut the resident.
"Um-"
"Give me something." Lisa glared at her.
"Well-"
"Oh Dear God, make it quick! I don't have all day."
"I've watched, Doctor. I mean I saw my attending did it before." She quickly answered before the volcano exploded.
"Do you think you have the skill to do it?"
"Yes, Doctor." The moment that words slipped out from her mouth was the moment she hated herself the most. She had too much bad OR outcomes for her own good. Her free and wild personality didn't really help the situation. She took all hardcore – almost impossible surgeries that her friends would avoid. She had got several warning regarding this.
"Then Dr. Hwang, you're off the case." Lisa didn't spare a glance at the shocked young Doctors around her. "Dr. McDonie, Mr. Park is yours now. I want you to read everything about TAVI. We'll talk more tomorrow."
"O – oh okay." She stuttered. "D – Doctor Manoban, I was wondering if I can change his mind about the procedure – I mean I will still read about TAVI, of course, but I was—"
"He's your patient, you do whatever you need to do."
The residents parted away when Lisa walked passed them toward the elevator. She stepped into the iron rectangular box and about to pressed the button when she saw Dr. Hwang ran after her.
"Dr. Manoban, Mr. Park is my patient." He was disappointed for her sudden one-sided decision.
"You clearly have no desire to treat him the way he wants you to."
"I merely tell you my opinion about it. TAVI is not the best option and you know it." He argued.
"You're scared of the bad outcomes," She stated assertively. "And the only thing that is worse than a bad surgeon is the scared one."
---
"You get a new name." Seulgi suddenly appeared in Lisa's office. She sat on the rolling chair then casually swung it back and forth.
"Hm?"
"Hades – the God of Hell." The Doctor laughed. "What did you do anyway?"
Lisa lifted her eyes to look at her friend before casually back to type on her laptop. "I didn't do anything."
"Your name is changing from time to time," The general surgeon said as a matter of fact. "Their favorite is Cruella. It lasted for a long time."
"Well, they can stop learning from me if they want to." She saved her work then turned off the computer, giving her dearest friend full attention. "I give them what they need."
"What? Fury?"
"Motivation."
"Hey, have you heard about your newest name?" Jisoo and Jihyo walked in unannounced. The short doctor opened the mini fridge while the taller one took another rolling chair.
"Your office is awesome. I wish I have one like this." Jihyo grabbed a few snacks and made herself comfy on the leather couch.
"Have you?" Jisoo demanded.
"Seul just told me about it." Lisa shrugged easily. "They can call me whatever. I don't care."
"I know you don't. You don't have a heart! Ha!" Seulgi and Jisoo high-fived. They exploded with laughter making Lisa rolled her eyes.
"What are you guys doing here? My office is not a playground."
"Oh don't play scary with us." Jihyo snorted, mocking Lisa. "You can flip a table and I'll still find it funny."
"Wait, hold a sec. My wife is calling." Lisa accepted the call with a huge grin on her face. "Hello there."
"Hey Baby, I'm on my way to hospital now."
"Okay, I'll give Sana a call. I'll meet you at the lobby."
"Sure thing. Bye! Love you!"
"You too, Baby."
"You know, I never thought you'd be this disgustingly happy." Seulgi commented after the phone call was done.
"She's so whipped," Jisoo added. "But I guess that's how married life is supposed to be, right? What's the point of loving someone if it doesn't give you the privilege to be dumb and blind?" The three burst out laughing.
"Imagine if the residents see this version of her."
"Hades will switch to Beast instead. Scary on the outside but soft like marshmallow inside."
"Guys, I'm right here." Lisa waved her hand to remind those three brats about her presence. "And you Kim Jisoo, you should stop talking trash, you are as whipped as Bull Demon King from The Journey To West. Don't you remember what you did with Chaeyoung?" She smirked mischievously. Jisoo abruptly stopped making fun of her.
"What did you do with her?" Jihyo was curious. Jisoo's mood was indeed improved a lot recently. She wasn't sour and bitter like before.
"Nothing!" The plastic surgeon glared at Lisa. "We just go for a couple of drinks, that's all."
"Lisa?"
"Yes, Kang Seulgi?"
"You know something, don't you?" She narrowed her eyes as she walked slowly towards the big desk.
"Maybe," Lisa shrugged nonchalantly. "How big will I get for this confidential matter?"
"Yah!" Seulgi slapped the back of Lisa's head. "Share!"
"When will you stop with physical violence?" Lisa grumpily soothed her head. "You're too old for this."
"I'll still kick you in your grave. Stop sulking, spill the bean already!"
"She slept with Chaeyoung."
"Oh no, you didn't!" Jihyo shouted. "You're only on your second date! What are you?! What did I tell you about the dating rule?!"
"No-"
"I thought you're too old for this?" She continued yelled at Jisoo. "I can't believe you!"
"I didn't sleep with her, I swear!" Jisoo shouted back. "I—"
"Oh, so the sudden visit to my house on a lovely Sunday morning with that depressed mysterious face was a lie?" Lisa spoke sarcastically. The three people folded their arms simultaneously.
"I share a bed with her, okay?! I didn't have se – you know. . . sleep – sleep with her. I didn't do that!" Her face was beaming red to the thought of that particular night.
They were having a good dinner date. She took Chaeyoung home, and the latter politely invited her to her apartment. They didn't do anything except talking and drank a can of beer. The time went unnoticed when two people were having a great time together. It was past midnight when they realized that it was far too late for Jisoo to go home.
"You'll be on this side, and I'll be there and this bolster will separates us."
The next morning, Chaeyoung managed to kick the bolster off the bed and snuggled on her instead. Their clothes were still on, but the position, well. . .
"Like a bolster can do anything to stop you from jumping to her side." Jihyo stated the fact as she rolled her yes.
"I shouldn't have trusted you." Jisoo threw a malicious look to Lisa.
"You started it."
"I hate you."
"I hate you more, Kim Jisoo." Lisa made a high pitch voice to sneer at her. "I have to go. Gotta get my lady preggo!"
"You're disgusting, Lalisa Manoban!"
---
"How are you feeling?" Lisa stole a glance from the corner of her eyes. She had to focus on the road. The street was pretty packed at this hour. She couldn't risk Jennie's safety for carelessness.
"I'm good, but I'm kind of missing the almond croissant at that coffee shop near our old apartment."
"Do you want to stop by?"
"I want to have a coffee date with you, if that's possible."
"Your wish is my command, your highness." Lisa smiled broadly at her cheesy statement.
Lisa turned off the machine, ready to get out of the car when she felt a hand on her arms. "Yes, Baby?"
"Should I take full rest instead? I'm afraid the embryo will fall out of me." She whispered the last part dejectedly.
"Baby, you heard what Sana said—"
"I need to do my best, Lili. If full rest is what I have to do, I'll do it."
Lisa was speechless for a moment. She couldn't imagine what would happen to Jennie if they failed again this time. She didn't dare to imagine it. "Honey, our body is designed with enough sense that walking, running, coughing or sneezing do not cause an embryo to fall out. It is safe and secure in your womb."
"Okay."
Lisa smiled. "Okay, let's go."
"Let me order. You go take a seat."
"No, you should—"
"You said they're safe inside me," Jennie argued. "I want to act normal and not think about it."
"Okay."
Lisa went inside, taking a daily newspaper on her way. She took a table near a window. It was their spot. Jennie liked it there. She could stare out of the window and watch people did their business. It was fascinating for her.
The Lawyer was busy looking at the display. She suddenly wanted everything. She spent so much time having fun with herself recently – sometimes with people she loved. It helped her to relax. Her appetite increased a lot. Lisa couldn't be happier than that.
"Jennie?"
The lawyer was turned to her back. She gasped when she saw who was standing before her. "Nancy?!" She instinctively hugged her long lost friend tightly. "How have you been?"
"I'm great! Wow, I don't know how it is possible but you've become prettier than the last time I saw you." She scrutinized the latter from head to toe. "I mean, you've always been pretty, duh! But I don't know. . . you seem brighter." Nancy grinned from ear to ear.
"Thank you." Jennie replied sheepishly. "You're not so bad yourself," She teased. "How's everything?"
"Can't say great but I can't complain now." Nancy chuckled a little. "I miss you."
Nancy and Jennie met in high school. They weren't best friend or anything since both of them were fellow in both cheerleader and photography team, they grew to know each other more. Nancy knew Jennie's reputation but she didn't really mind it. Jennie was nice to her and that was enough. They separated when Jennie departed to Seoul for college while Nancy continued her education in medical field at the local university in New Zealand. They lost contact not long after.
"Aww, I miss you too, you know." Jennie pulled her into another hug. "It's been what? Ten – eleven years?"
"More or less, yes."
"What are you doing here? I thought you said you didn't want to come back to Korea?"
"Well, my whole family moved to Busan and I didn't want to be all alone there. What about you? What are you doing here?"
"I'm with my wife. We used to live near here and I'm craving for almond croissant, so. . ."
"You're married?!" She naturally averted her eyes to Jennie's ring finger. "Oh, you're not kidding!" Nancy practically shouted. Several eyes turned to them. She quickly bowed to apologized.
"Why would I?" Jennie giggled. "She's inside, you want to come and meet her?
"Sure" Nancy agreed. After they were done ordering the drink and food, Jennie locked her arms with Nancy's. "Who's this lucky girl?" Nancy asked as they walked side by side.
"You'll meet her. She's nice and very pretty," Jennie winked. "She has the same job like you."
"Really? Sweet. I just moved here a couple months ago. You see—" Nancy stopped in her track, turning around abruptly when she saw who was sitting at one of the chair a few feet from her. Lalisa Manoban was reading a newspaper so Nancy was sure that she didn't see her. "Jennie, I have to go now."
"Huh? Why?"
"My crazy attending is here." She hissed lowly.
"Where?"
"That women over there." She mentioned the woman who put her hair up to ponytail with her head. "I shouldn't be here. She'll kill me!" She raved panicked.
"Lisa?"
"Yes, Baby?"
Nancy could feel the blood drained off from her body the moment she heard Lalisa Manoban answered Jennie.
"Lisa is your attending?" Jennie asked innocently.
"Baby, why are you standing there?"
"Umm. . ." Jennie wasn't sure what to do. Nancy's face was literally pale. She was making some weird expression. "Hey, it's okay. Lisa is nice." Jennie soothed her arm softly. "Let me introduce you to her, okay?"
Jennie tugged Nancy from her spot. Her friend was acting strange. She refused at first but Jennie was very persistent. Nancy had no choice but to walk with her head hung low. She prayed the ground would swallow her whole.
"Lis—"
"Look, Dr. Manoban," She quickly spoke. "I'm so sorry, I know I shouldn't be here because you tell me to read about TAVI and find you those articles tomorrow and I know you hate excuses and I'm not trying to make one but I'm hungry and I need coffee so I think it's okay to stop by my place is not far from here I'm just going to grab that coffee and my food and I'll go home and do what you tell me to do I swear I'm not making excuses. Please don't kick me out of this case. I really want to be a cardio fellow and I never get to do TAVI before." Nancy rambled in one breath. "Please forgive me?"
"Why should I?" Lisa was confused. Nancy talked as fast as a lightning bolt. Although she understood what the resident was saying, Lisa still didn't get why was Nancy apologizing to her.
"Please don't kick me off the case?" Nancy gulped at the statement.
"I'm not going to kick you off if you do your work right."
"Thank you." The resident exhaled out, relieved.
"Lisa, this is Nancy McDonie, she's my friend and Nancy this is Lisa Manoban, my wife." Jennie spoke flatly with her arms folded. She was annoyed these two people neglecting her and started the conversation before she introduced them properly.
"Ah, yes, I'm sorry, Babe." Too much to Nancy surprise, Lisa offered her a handshake. "Lalisa Manoban," She said. Nancy stared at it for a moment. "It's rude to keep me waiting."
"O -- oh yes," She carefully took her attending's hand and shook it. "Nancy McDonie."
"So, you're my wife's friend?"
"Y -- yes," See, Lalisa Manoban was very intimidating. She couldn't utter a proper word when she was talking with her.
Jennie sat beside Lisa. Nancy couldn't help but stand there awkwardly.
"Nancy, come on seat. Your order is coming." Jennie said.
"I should just take it away." Nancy smiled apologetically at Jennie. "I need stuff to do. We'll catch up later, I promise."
"She can join us, right, Babe?" Jennie turned to Lisa, subtly increased her brow.
"You're off the clock now," She shrugged. "It's fine if you want to stay."
"But you're going to kick my ass if I can't hand you my assignment tomorrow?" She asked before she couldn't stop herself.
"I'm your attending tomorrow morning, Nancy McDonie. This afternoon, you're just my wife's friend."
"Jennie, can I talk to you for a sec? Alone?"
"Sure."
Nancy dragged Jennie to the corner and sighed. "Look, I really miss you, but Hades -- I mean, your wife has assigned me to this case and I can't screw it up. See, the patient is not originally mine. She gave this patient to me because the other resident showed her some doubt and she without hesitancy signed him off the case. I can't let that happen to me."
"Is she really that mean?" Jennie frowned.
"She's your wife, I'm her student. It's normal, okay? Give me your number." Nancy gave Jennie a call. Both saved each other's number and promised to not lose contact again.
"Doctor Manoban--"
"It's Lisa Manoban, we're off the clock." She tapped her watch.
"It's weird for me to call you that."
"Deal with it."
Nancy cleared her throat. "I'll take my leave now, L -- Lisa," She quickly bowed. "See you soon, Jennie." She waved a little and walked -- more like skipped her step to pay for her food and out of the shop rapidly.
"She accidently called you Hades." Jennie tilted her head expectantly.
"Yeah?"
"Uh-uh," Jennie nodded. "I wonder why, though."
"I used to call my attending Giant Jellyfish. It's just typical residents. We hate our attending because they make our live freaking miserable but what they really do is teach us to be tough."
"Really?" Her wife increased her brows, not buying Lisa's statement.
Lisa chuckled and shook her head at Jennie's antic. "Really. You can ask her if you want."
"I might do that."
---
The night was mellow. The couple was lying on the bed, facing each other. They exchanged no word for a long time. It wasn't unusual. They were enjoying each other's presence.
"You know," Jennie broke the silence. "From the first time I work as a lawyer, divorce is the most frequent case I handle. It happens for cliché reasons; third person, money, infertility." Jennie spoke bitterly. "Tell me, Lili, why?"
"I don't know. Why are you talking like this?"
Jennie shrugged. " I just don't get it. How easy they fall out of love like that? I mean, once upon a time, they were in love, they promised to conquer the world together, what happened?"
"I love you." Lisa said sincerely.
"Will you still love me if I fail again?" Jennie asked in wonder. Her expression was unreadable. It made Lisa strangely uncomfortable.
"I love you with or without kids." She answered without a doubt. "Why don't we go to sleep, Nini? It's getting late." She subtly wanted to end this discussion. She didn't want Jennie to overthink things. She was here to stay forever with her.
"I had so many rejection because of my past." Jennie lay on her back, staring at the ceiling.
"Nini--"
"I know exactly how it feels to be worthless, helpless. . ."
"Stop it, " Lisa said assertively. "Look at me," She gently put both of her hands on Jennie's head and turned it towards her. "You're not worthless, you never were. Screw them. I love you. Don't speak like this."
"You don't know me back then, Lili."
"That's enough." Lisa silence her with a kiss -- a desperate one. It was probably the hormone talking. Lisa had no other rational reason on why Jennie suddenly became so insecure.
Jennie broke the kiss off. She gave Lisa one last peck and stopped her from getting closer. "You put my pieces together. I don't know why you do that, but thank you." Lisa tried to close the gap again but Jennie's hands planted firmly on her shoulder. "Do you regret it?"
"You're talking nonsense."
"Answer me, please?"
"Would I be here if I have any regret?"
Jennie smiled tenderly, her eyes turned soft and gentle. She let Lisa moved on top of her.
"Love me, Lisa. Love me like you mean it."
----------