I was in the fire once more. My vision had blurred and all I could hear were the shouts and screams of my mother and my brother. I think they were shouting my name but I wasn't sure. I think they got out. I think that they are safe now.
I was dying.
I couldn't breathe, there was smoke and ash everywhere withering away my childhood home. The wood erupted in flames and slowly disintegrated away to black and burnt pieces. Picture frames had fallen from the walls leaving glass on the burning floor. I felt my arm being grabbed. I screamed and turned towards brown eyes. My father looked frantic but there wasn't time when he didn't.
"You have to stop this Avaryn!" he shouted at me, his brown eyes had grown a haze. I knew what this meant. He had gone bad again. Like when he locks me in my room that same haze is in his eyes.
Stop what?
It was him who had started this fire, it was him who had tried to kill us.
"You have ... to ... you have to stop!" he wheezed, coughing at the smoke, pulling me along. His grip was tight and I knew that it would leave bruises just like all those times before.
As he pulled me, towards what I wasn't sure, I tripped over a piece of broken glass. I stared down at it, then looked back up at my crazed father.
I was only ten but I knew what I had to do.
I leaned down and picked up the broken shard.
***
The pain in my chest was unbearable. Agony tore through me and rippled through my bones. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't feel anything or think anything. I was alone. And it was dark. And there was pain. And that was it.
I was tired. I was tired of fighting. I just wanted everything to end. I wasn't strong enough. Maybe I was glad to die. At least maybe I could see Nisha again. Maybe I could apologize to her and beg for her forgiveness.
Maybe I wanted to die.
But of course.
I never get what I want.
I opened my eyes and saw blackness. Cloth rubbed against my forehead and I realized I was blind folded. My wrists were screaming in pain, bound to shackles of death. I smelt mist and smoke, I knew the smell belonged to the Shadow realm.
I was in the shadow realm. The pain in my chest was gone. It was no longer there and instead of feeling relieved, I felt empty. The Shadow King had gotten me again. And this time I had the feeling I wouldn't be getting away again. I felt myself being pushed to my knees. The blindfold was ripped off and my vision cleared to the sight of the throne room I thought I would never have to see again.
How foolish of me.
Roz was the only person sitting in front of me.
I sneered, "come to watch your father whip me?"
"Don't be a wench."
I squinted my gaze. "I was kidnapped, again, I can be a wench if i'd like."
The black doors opened and in walked the shadow king. His black cape showed around him, his blonde hair was touching his shoulder, his expression was prideful, he looked like the narcissist he was. Even the sight of his face made me want to puke. He was the only person I truly hated. I hated him.
Suddenly the doors opened again and in walked a boy with white hair, golden brown skin, and eyes so black they were almost blue. He didn't look at me; he acted as if I wasn't in the middle of the throne room shackled on my knees. He took his place next to the king.
All of the sudden flashes of what happened between us spread through my mind and I finally remembered why I was here. How I was here.
It was because of him.
Because he betrayed me.
I shake my head at my foolish thoughts.
How can you be betrayed by someone who was never really on your side in the first place?
The king smirked at my expression. I wanted to scream at him. Hatred burned through me. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to launch a dagger at his throat or bury my sword into his chest. I didn't care, as long as he was dead and I was the one that did it.
"You look rather awful today, Avaryn," said the king, his vicious eyes raking over my bloodied chest and I saw a sickening desire in his gaze.
"Burn in hell."
I saw Raiden give a slight shake of his head as if that was the stupidest possible thing I could say but I didn't care. Not anymore.
I've decided I hated him too and when this is all over I was going to kill him for what he did.
"Quite the temper you've established." The king did not sound pleased. He got up from his throne and instead of walking towards me like I thought he would he turned to Raiden. He lifted his hand. He struck Raiden in the face. I gasped as If he had actually hit me instead. I felt the pain just the same.
I hated him, I swear I hated Raiden but I couldn't stand the thought of him being in pain. I hated myself in that moment too, I hated myself for caring whether he was hurt or not.
Raiden didn't move or seemed surprised. Actually there was something like relief in his expression. Rage flared through my chest. I turned my burning rage on the king.
I growled through my teeth, my temper bursting out.
The king only chuckled and turned his gaze to his son. "You've gotten her rather attached haven't you?"
"Ugh," Roz cut in rolling her eyes. "This is boring, just get on with it so I can leave."
I looked at Raiden. He turned his head toward me, I expected to see pain in his eyes, regret, sorrow, but I saw nothing. Absolutely nothing in his black gaze. Of course he felt nothing. Because everything was a lie wasnt it?
The king stepped toward me and kneeled in front of me. He lifted his finger to my chin, gripping it firmly. "I have you once again, and this time I know everything about you. You will use the Vad on the Devara."
He said it like it was a fact. "I'd rather die."
Something like anger flickered in Raidens emotionless eyes. I refuse to believe it meant anything. I couldn't look at him or think of him, it made me sick just to think about. "Ah but If you refuse to cooperate I will take it out on him. I'll kill him." he pointed to his son. And as much as i wanted to hate Raiden, i couldn't take the thought of his father beating him.
I couldn't stand the thought of him dying because of me. Instead of showing this I laughed. "You think I care if he lives or dies? I don't."
The king smiled as if he'd been waiting for me to say something like this. "If you say so," he said then motioned for his guards to come forward. "Kill him," the king said pointing to his own son.
My heart beat rose. He had to be bluffing right? A sickening smile spread across his face, as he looked down at me. Raiden didn't move or run or fight against them; he simply let them drag him to his knees.
"Father what are you doing?" Roz asked in panic and stood up from her throne.
Roz was scared. What did that mean?
I swallowed. Would his father really kill him just to spite me? Was he truly so evil he didn't care about the life of his own son?
One of the guards lifted a sword and aimed for Raiden's neck.
"Wait!" I exclaimed, a sudden fear striking through me.
What is wrong with me? Why did I care? He stabbed me! And kidnapped me and I am supposed to hate him!
The king laughed. "Now that that's settled, shall I take you to my room?"
Disgust rippled through me and I ripped my chin from his grasp. I opened my mouth to say something that probably would have gotten me whipped when Raiden spoke instead. "Actually father, I was hoping she could be placed in my chambers, I'm not quite done with her." His deep voice that was usually filled with amusement, was cruel and cold.
I'm not done with her. The horror of his words made shivers of disgust crawl down my spine.
The king smiled. "As you wish."
The guards placed me in Raidens room minutes later and unshackled me too. I suppose it was because they locked the doors. I had never been in here before. The walls were black stone and filled with tapestries and weapons. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. That was so Raiden. Everything about this room screamed Raiden. And it hurt that I knew him, possibly a fake version of him. I haven't processed everything enough, so the only emotion I was currently feeling was rage. Book shelves lined another wall and I felt compelled to them but I forced myself to go to the other wall, the wall filled with weapons.
I grabbed a knife down and waited.
The door opened, I grabbed his arm and pulled it behind his back, just as he taught me. Quicker than I thought I could move I placed the knife against his throat. He grunted, surprised. "I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this." Even hearing his voice made my heart ache, but it wasn't as bad as the anger in my chest.
I twisted him around and slammed his back against the door all whilst the knife was to his throat.
I could just kill him. I wanted to kill him.
So why didn't I?
Seeing his face only angered me more. I leaned up so our faces were inches apart so he could feel my anger. "Give me one reason I shouldn't slit your throat," I whispered.
His eyes widened a fraction, the expression there was half fear and half desire. His smile was wicked. "I'm not sure if this is the correct thing to say, but all this is doing is turning me on, darling."
I tightened my grip on the knife though my eyes betrayed me and flickered down to his lips, the temptation was there, God it was really there, and I hated it because I wanted it. I still wanted him.
I hated him again because he was letting me do this. He always let me. He didn't fight back.
I moved the dagger from his throat to his ribs.
His lips twitched and I dared him to smile.
"I'll tell you everything if you wish me to," he said.
"Of course I wish you to, but that will have to wait," I snarled, letting my lips curl up into a vicious smile that was unlike me. "Unfortunately for you, I believe in an eye for an eye."
I lunged my knife into his ribs. He grunted but he let me do it. He didn't fight me or back away he just let it happen and I hated him for it. I hated him for everything right now. It was strange stabbing someone. I felt the knife slice through his skin and meet bone. And I was strangely not as disgusted as I should be.
He gripped the hilt and slowly pulled it out, grimacing as he did it. He dropped it to the ground. "I deserved that."
I narrowed my eyes, mad that it didn't have more of an effect on him. "You deserve more than that."
His eyes shone with pain gripped his side, I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He would heal in a few minutes. That reminds me. "How am I not dead?"
"We have a few healers here." He shook his head at me. "You shouldn't have told me."
"Told you what?" I hissed through my teeth.
"Where the other part of the Vad is," he said. "You shouldn't have told me it was in the mountains."
"Oh because I was supposed to know you were going to stab me? I suppose that's my fault Raiden."
"You knew not to trust me."
"I don't trust you!"
"And yet here we are."
"So that's what this was? The whole time? You were told to gain my trust?" I growled, the temptation to stab him was sparking on my fingertips again. Something a little like hurt was also in my chest but I didn't want to acknowledge it. "You were told to find out where the other part of the Vad was through me? This was never about helping me? It was about revenge."
His dark eyes softened. "It's always been about revenge, Darling."
Of course it was. And I had somehow made myself believe differently. I thought that- I thought maybe he had cared about me. I thought that maybe I had begun to care about him but I realize now that could never be possible. Him and I could never be possible. We were enemies. We were enemies and we always would be.
Betrayal like I'd never felt before burned through me like fire. He didn't get to just stab me and get away with. He didn't get to just play me and get away with it. He didn't get to make me look ignorant.
I smiled, though I was not happy, my smile was ruthless and cruel, a smile I had never worn before. I guess I had learned from the best. I leaned up toward him, my anger had suddenly vanished and now I felt nothing. Nothing but vengeance. "I'm going to find a way to kill you."
He smiled back and it matched mine. "I look forward to it."
••••
The end 😀
I can't bro finished this book yall. I just edited it on google docs and it turns out it's actually 445 pages 😳. Anyways now I got to write another one 🚶♂️👨🦽. Also I'm looking on publishing it my self and maybe selling copies on Etsy so if y'all want this book I paper let me know.
I love y'all and I hope you have a good day. 🥰
Also I am writing another book to this. I just don't know when I'm going to post it.