When Monday morning had come around, I drove to the office with Ben after spending the entire weekend at the Upper West Side penthouse apartment that he and Ivy shared because I didn't want to be alone.
I spent most of the weekend either talking with Ivy and Ben or doting on my godchildren. I also finally mustered up the courage to call the CPS agency in San Fransisco who were very enthusiastic to hear from me. The baby, who is yet to be named, is happy and healthy, they told me. I made arrangements to pick him up on Saturday morning and fly back to New York with him that evening. I also contacted the funeral home my sister was at and they said they would arrange for her body to be flown home on Saturday afternoon. I still had to go to her apartment and clear that out which I desperately didn't want to do.
"Chin up, quello piccola," Ben said encouragingly to me as we walked into the elevator to go to our respective floors. "it'll all be okay."
"I hope so," I sighed and then leaned into him for the side hug he was giving me.
After leaving me on my floor, I headed into my office.
"Morning, Tar," I greeted Tara.
"Morning," She smiled at me. "Got your coffee and a chocolate croissant waiting for you on your desk."
"Thanks," I said with a weak smile.
She frowned instantly in concern. "Oh dear. Should that coffee be a mimosa instead?'
"More like tequila," I muttered and then flopped down on the couch that was in the tiny waiting room of my office.
"Is everything okay?" Tara asked me.
With a deep sigh, I told her everything that had happened on Friday evening.
"Oh my God," She blurted out when I'd told her everything. "Shit, Bree, I'm so sorry."
"It is what it is," I sighed sadly. "But yeah, on Monday I'm going to have a baby strapped to my chest. So exciting."
"Hey, at least you'll have a part of your sister with you," She said with a sad smile as she hugged me.
"Yeah, I guess," I murmured.
After finding the coffee and croissant on my desk as Tara had promised, I drank the latte and ate a bit of the croissant while sending a slack message to the president of the Network, Jackson Samuels requesting to meet with him and Annelise, the company's head of HR. Almost instantly I got a message back from both of them letting me know they would be free in the next five minutes for half an hour.
"I'm going to see Jackson quickly," I told Tara as I left the office.
"Good luck!" She called after me.
When the elevator dropped me off on the nineteenth floor, aka the executive floor, I greeted Jackson's secretary, Linda, before seeing myself into Jackson's office.
"Sabrina," The president of the Network smiled broadly at me. "What can I do for you this morning?"
Jackson Samuels is one of the most wonderful people to ever exist, in my opinion. He was the one that convinced the other executives that I could do my own show because he believed in me and he's backed me every step of the way since that day.
"Morning, Jax. Morning, Annelise," I greeted the two of them as I took a seat on the chair opposite them. "Thanks for seeing me so quickly."
"Is everything okay?" Annelise asked me.
I smiled sadly. "Not really."
I quickly told the two of them about what had happened on Friday and that I would need Friday and the following week off to go to San Fransisco and then plan my sister's funeral and adjust to motherhood.
"Oh my goodness, yes, of course," Jackson said immediately. "Of course you can take next week off. In fact, you can take a few months off. You're entitled to maternity leave. I'm so sorry, Sabrina."
"Thanks, Jackson," I said quietly, "But I won't need maternity leave. I'll hire someone to care for the baby during the day."
"Bree," Annelise said with a small laugh, "you need time to bond with the baby. Take the four months. You can come back at the start of May. I know we've got enough episodes taped to last us three months and then we can do reruns of the highest rated ones for April."
"A-are you sure?" I asked hesitantly. "I don't mean to just spring this on you guys."
"Hey, it's not like you were pregnant for nine months and didn't tell us," She said with a smile. "Take the time off, bond with your little one and then come back better than ever."
"Yes, what Annelise said," Jackson said with a warm smile.
"Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it," I said gratefully, although I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to stay away for four whole months.
"Of course, honey. I know it was a tragic way to get there, but motherhood is so exciting," Annelise said gently.
"I'm terrified," I admitted. "I only have godchildren and I'm not always around for everything with them so I don't even know where to start with this one."
"You'll be lost at first," Jackson chuckled, "but once you've got the hang of it, it's as easy as A B C."
"That's true," Annelise agreed. "Would you be okay with it if we put out a statement? About the baby, I mean. We can leave your sister out of it if you'd prefer. But I think your fans and our sponsors would love to hear about your new little bundle."
"Yeah, that would be okay," I agreed, knowing that I would need to account for the child I would be seen with. And I know that Hope will handle the statement with integrity and delicacy because she's wonderful.
"Congratulations, Sabrina. I know that this isn't the conventional way to motherhood and I'm terribly sorry about your loss but having your first child really is a momentous thing," Jackson said gently,
"Thanks, Jax," I said with a small smile.
After making arrangements for Tara to be an interim PA for Valerie, seeing as her own PA was also going on maternity leave in the next two weeks, and thanking Annelise and Jackson profusely for their understanding, I headed down to the fifth floor where I knew Valerie was filming because I had some time before I had to go to hair and makeup and because I just needed her motherly type hug this morning. Despite only being eleven years older than me, Valerie is the mommy of our group and she took me right under her wing the day we first met.
After hanging out with her for a little while I headed up to my set to get ready for my show.
Later that evening I found myself seated opposite Oliver at our favourite Italian restaurant, Campagnola, for dinner.
"Stop frowning else you'll get wrinkles and then you'll be forced to get botox," Oliver teased me.
"Oh shut up," I laughed.
"How're you feeling?" He asked me.
"Scared, nervous, sad."
"That's expected," He said as he reached across the table. "Everything is going to change for you, Sab, but we're all gonna be here for you throughout those changes."
Once again, I was eternally grateful for Oliver's support. "Thanks, Oli. That really does mean a lot to me."
"I spoke to my parents on Saturday night. They're really sorry about Serena. But they're pleased about the baby. Mom wants to send you a bunch of baby stuff. Don't buy a crib, okay? She's already got you one."
Lucinda Kesselmann is a wonderful woman. Since Oliver and I became friends five years ago, I've been around her on numerous occasions and I love being in her presence.
"That's so sweet of her," I said with a smile and then I remembered what I wanted to ask him. "Oli?"
"Yeah, Sab?"
"Will you be the baby's godfather?" I asked, looking shyly at him.
He smiled slowly. "You want me to be his godfather?"
"Yeah," I nodded. "I mean, Scott, Hayden and Ben would be as well, unofficially. But I'd like to have him baptised and I'd like you to swear in as his godfather. Ivy is his godmother."
"I'd be honoured," He said with a smile and then squeezed my hand.
'I'd like him to be baptised the week after Serena's funeral at your brother's church if that would be okay," I told him. Oliver's older brother, Harry, is a Catholic priest and I'd be honoured for him to baptise my nephew with our closest friends and family as witnesses.
"I'm sure it will be," He beamed. "I'll let him know. I think my mom would like to plan a lunch afterwards once she hears. You know how she is."
"Yeah, that would be good."
"Look at you, Sab. You're going to be a mother," He said, looking at me in awe.
"I'm scared shitless," I laughed.
"It'll all be okay, kiddo. Don't stress it."
For the first time since I was told about my nephew, I relaxed a little and believed Oliver's words. It would all be okay.
Four days later Oliver and I sat in the plush seats of the Catch-22 network's jet on our way to San Fransisco at 12pm on Friday afternoon, scheduled to land in San Fransisco at 3.30pm PST.
Jackson had told me that I was welcome too and should use the company jet to bring my nephew home to New York because flying commercial with a newborn would be a nightmare.
After a long six and a half hour flight, we landed at the San Fransisco International Airport and then found the driver Catch-22 organised for us waiting at the arrivals area to take us to the Fairmont Hotel. The company was being extremely generous to me and I appreciated it. After checking into our two bedroom suite, Oliver and I decided to tackle the issue of my sister's apartment first.
When we got to the building in a nice part of town, the building manager let us into the neat one bedroom apartment that my sister had lived in.
"I don't know where to start," I said sadly to Oliver as I looked around. The building manager had given us boxes to pack my sister's stuff into and we had negotiated a few nights before the sale of the furniture, crockery and cutlery in the apartment. The building manager was happy to pay for the furniture so he could rent the place out again as is.
"I'm sorry, Sab," He said quietly as he pulled me into his arms.
"I haven't seen her in eight years. Before then, it had been ten. I shouldn't be this sad," I said through my tears.
"Yes you should," He said softly. "She was your big sister, whether or not it's been eighteen years since you last had a proper conversation. You're allowed to be sad and grieve for her."
For a few minutes, I tucked myself into Oliver's arms and cried like a little baby before I pulled myself together and got on with what we came here to do.
In two hours, the two of us packed all of my sister's clothes and personal belongings, putting everything except a few items that I wanted to keep to remember my sister by, into boxes to donate to Goodwill on our way back to the hotel. The building manager said he would arrange for a cleaning service to clean the place but I still took the liberty of putting the dishes in the dishwasher and making sure all the cutlery and crockery was adequate before we were assisted by some maintenance men to take all the boxes down to the SUV Oliver had hired from the hotel.
After returning the apartment keys to the building manager, he expressed his condolences to me again before Oliver and I left. After dropping the boxes off at the nearest Goodwill, we headed back to the hotel.
"Well, that's done," I said as I placed the small box of my sister's jewellery and some other things on the coffee table and then collapsed on the couch.
"What do you say I book you a massage before dinner? You look like you could use it," Oliver said to me.
I looked at him. "A massage would be nice," I pouted.
"You little princess," He teased.
"What can I say? You spoil me, Oliver Kesselmann," I grinned at him.
After Oliver had booked my massage for me, I left him to his own devices and headed down to the spa for a wonderful massage before going upstairs again and dressing for dinner. But all too quickly the next morning came. The first order of today would be going to the funeral home to wrap up the loose ends there before going to the hospital to pick up the baby.
I was not prepared to see my sister's body in a magnificent white casket when we got there. I silently handed the funeral director the dress, shoes and jewellery I wanted my sister dressed in before slowly going up to her.
I couldn't help the river of tears that tell as I gently touch my sister's face. When I saw her last, I didn't think that the next time I'd be seeing her, she'd be in a casket.
Serena and I were polar opposites when it came to our looks. She looked just like our mother with her dark hair and blue eyes while I looked like our father with his blonde hair and grey eyes. But right now it didn't matter which parent she looked like. My sister looked like an angel.
After Oliver had quietly paid his respects, we met with the funeral director who was going to arrange for Serena's body to be transported back to Greenwich for the burial next week. After I'd signed the necessary paperwork, the two of us left the funeral home.
"I don't think I can do this, Oli," I cried as he held me tightly.
"Yes you can, Sab," He said soothingly. "If there's anyone who can it's you."
"All I've got left is her baby," I sobbed.
"And you're going to be the best goddamn mother that baby could have ever had, you hear me," He said in a stern but loving voice, echoing the words Ivy's father had said to me just days before.
"You think so?" I asked in a pathetic little voice.
"I know so, baby," He said and then gently kissed the crown of my head. "And I'm going to be there with you every step of the way. You're not alone, Sabrina. I promise you that."
When I'd finally calmed down a bit, we got into the car and then headed to Aldea Home & Baby because we still needed a car seat, diapers, bottles and formula as well as a few outfits for the baby for the plane ride home before we left for New York tonight.
After we'd gotten everything that we needed, we headed to the hospital. When we got there, we were greeted by Lorraine White, the CPS rep in San Fransisco.
"He had his last tests done last night. He's a happy, healthy baby," Lorraine told us as she led us up to the office she was using in the maternity hospital. "The nurse will bring him up in a second."
"Okay," I said quietly and then clutched Oliver's arm tightly as she led us into the small office.
There was some paperwork for me to sign, allowing me to leave San Fransisco with the baby as well as the official adoption papers. I decided that it would be easier for me to adopt him now rather than wait for something to go wrong later down the line, like his father's family coming into the picture or anything like that.
Fifteen minutes later a young nurse entered the office holding a bundle wrapped in a blue blanket.
"There he is," Lorraine said with a smile.
The young nurse tried to hand him to me but I was frozen with fear.
"Relax, Sab. I'm sure he doesn't bite," Oliver teased gently.
"Not funny," I muttered but Oliver's teasing did take the edge off slightly. Very gently, I took the baby from the nurse.
Did he not start crying then and there.
"Oh, I don't think he likes me," I said to the nurse and attempted to hand the baby back to her.
"He's just hungry," She chuckled as she pulled a bottle out of the pocket in her uniform and handed it to me.
"I don't know what to do," I said pathetically,
"Gosh, Sabrina," Oliver teased as he took the bottle and gently held it to the baby's mouth and almost immediately the little thing knew what to do with it. "It's not rocket science, you know."
"He's a hungry little fella," The nurse remarked with a laugh as the baby continued to attack the nub of the bottle and guzzle the milk. "He'll eat you out of house and home one of these days."
"Is he going to choke?" I asked, concerned at the rate the baby was drinking the milk.
"Give him a little break by pulling the bottle away and then putting it back," She told me.
"Doing as she said, I followed her instructions.
"He doesn't have a name yet," Lorraine said to me. "Would you like to give him one? I can register it for you at the hospital and get you a temporary birth certificate and then you can get the official one in New York."
"Daniel," I said quietly but confidently. "It was my father's name. Daniel Sebastian Oliver Devinport."
"Sab..." I looked up at Oliver to find his eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"Hey, his godfather is pretty great and someone to look up to," I teased with a small smile.
"I love you, kiddo. And I love Daniel too," Oliver said quietly and then kissed my forehead.
After confirming the spelling of Daniel's name and confirming there were no diacritics in his name, Lorraine went to arrange the temporary birth certificate.
When she returned, we were free to leave. Daniel Sebastian Oliver Devinport was officially now and forever my responsibility.
"Come on, Momma," Oliver said to me with a warm smile. "Let's get you two home."
And home we went, me, Oliver and my baby boy.
***
Hello to chapter 2! Hope you guys liked it :)
- Ava