Chapter 20.
I shivered at Xavier's words, like I shivered when I felt his warm breath on my neck.
Feeling him above me, I couldn't move, not because he was forcing me down, but because I realised I wanted to be here so much. I craved to be here, beneath him like this.
That realisation put my mind into turmoil, but one I was willing to endure. After all, I wanted this just as much as he did.
I could see it in his eyes, how much he wanted me, not just to be there when he can't sleep, or to be there when he's lonely, but to be there in the most intimate of ways.
He wanted me, and it was the best feeling.
"Then-" Xavier pressed his lips to mine, soft and warm. Gentle but firm. I didn't have the chance to reply.
"I know what you're going to say." He stated back as soon as his lips left mine. I looked to him with attentiveness.
"Oh?"
"You're going to say 'then why don't you have me?' And the truth is, I am. This time with no questions asked, no running away." Before I could reply again, his lips were back on mine, hurried, rough and demanding.
His tongue fought mine for dominance and I moaned.
He seemed so vulnerable some times, so quiet and inattentive, but what made me crazy is when he felt things inside too much, he became anything but that.
It was like he was going crazy, and I knew I was crazy for him.
Hurriedly, at to my suprise, Xavier zipped the side of my dress open without warning, as if he was too hungry, too starved to wait any longer. His lips connected back to him with a long drawn out moan.
With this, I slipped my cold hands up his shirt to feel his abs beneath my fingers. He shivered and his stomach flinched, but he groaned and leaned his body into my touch.
"Fuck." He croaked at. It felt as if everything snapped inside of him. Before I could even do anything more, Xavier picked my up effortlessly in his arms and took me to the wall, smashing my body up on it before smashing his body up on me.
He ripped my tight dress from off my body and I slipped his shirt away from his body.
Feeling bereft and alone without his lips on mine, I grabbed his hair and pulled him to me.
He fought for dominance like he always did, but his tongue showed me just how he was going to do it.
"I'm not going to take it slow, I can't." Xavier mumbled against my lips. I nodded my head as I panted.
"I don't care." And I truly didn't. I just wanted him in anyway I could have him.
"Rough." He almost growled. "We're doing it rough." And I had no doubt we wouldn't. We were doing it Xavier's way tonight, and I always knew he'd be dominant and controlling in this way. But it just turned my on all the more.
*
I woke up that morning on the floor. Cold and shivering but not alone.
I turned around, my naked body turning into another, firmer and obviously more manly one.
"Xavier." I croaked. I shook his body, his legs were tangled with mine, his arm over his eyes to block the sun from entering them. His one arm hung loosely around my body.
He moved his arms away from
his eyes and his big brown eyes looked to me.
It seemed as if realisation dawned on the both of us and our sleepy haze around us vanished.
"Hey." Xavier greeted. I could see the vulnerability in his eyes now, knowing he was open to me last night.
Just the thought of last night made me want to do it all over again.
"Hey." I whispered. I felt my heart flutter as I realised he didn't run away like a coward after wards, even when he promised he wouldn't. "You're not going to run, are you?" I asked.
It sounded stupid, but I knew Xavier ran away from his problems or when he didn't know what to do, just like he did when we first kissed. That's why I always thought he was going to run away from me, just so he wouldn't have to show me how scared he was that we moved an extra step.
"No." He shook his head. "Even when I want to." I looked to him, my face falling and he saw this. He wrapped his arm around me more tightly. "Not because I want to run away from you, it's just I'm not used to having sex and then staying. But you mean more to me than anyone and I wouldn't go now just to make you pissed off at me for doing so."
"I wouldn't be pissed off." Xavier's brows quirked to show he didn't believe the words that just came from my mouth. "I'd just be dissapointed and a little sad." I held up my fingers to indicate. He laughed and I gazed at his beautiful face morphed into a smile.
He was so beautiful it shook my senses. How could someone like him want someone like me? He was completely out of my league, and the amount of times I see this or hear that exact same statement is beyond me. But really, it was on my mind.
"What do you want to do today?" Xavier asked me, and that statement alone made me realise that he did want to stay with me today and spend time with me, the thought alone made me happy.
"Whatever you want." I snuggled into his chest, suddenly feeling this affection towards him stronger than ever.
We didn't utter any words for a moment. I was lost in the senses of Xavier, and God knows what had Xavier quiet.
It was cold on the floor, and I'm sure my back was in bits. But I didn't want to move, especially away from Xavier.
"Come on, we best get off this floor." Xavier said before picking me up in his arms.
For some reason, as I laid in his arms and he laid me on top of the bed, I couldn't help but realise that Xavier was more stated now. He seemed more relaxed, more stable and even if he felt more vulnerable, he did seem more calm along side me.
I watched him as he put on his jeans and then picked up his shirt from the floor. He was definitely more calm, and I didn't know whether that was because we became one yesterday or because of something else.
"What are you looking at?" Xavier asked as he came over with his shirt. He had a small smile on his face and when I thought he was going to put the shirt on, he laid the shirt in me instead and buttoned it up until half of my cleavage was covered. "Well, this is tempting." His finger went up my cleavage and to my chin. I shivered under his touch.
"Tempting, huh?" I breathed out, trying to sound unaffected but failing miserably.
"Definitely." He nodded his head firmly. He lifted me off the bed and on to my feet. "Shall we get breakfast?" He asked. I nodded my head, definitely hungry.
Just as I was about to get a pair of pants, Xavier snatched my hand away from the drawer.
"No, no pants." He winked my way before pulling me out of the room.
I smiled inwardly. He was a dirty boy and hopefully all mine.
He took the chair out from the table for me and tucked me back in to the table once I was sat down.
"And you say you're not Romantic." I said wih humour.
"I want to say I didn't search a few things up on google but I don't really want to lie." Xavier replied seriously. I laughed his way as he made his way over to the small oven.
"Google?" I laughed. "You typed how to be romantic on Google?"
"Well I want you to stay with me for as long as possible." Xavier replied, amusement coming to his voice. I laughed again, but really, I wanted to pull him in to a hug. He implied that he wanted to be with me for a while, not just for a few days, weeks, months but for as long as possible.
But then how long was possible? Still, the fact scared me but calmed me at the same time.
He was so adorable and such a lovely person. He didn't see that though, but I could.
He may not be perfect, but he was trying. I would give him
the benefit of the doubt as much as possible, because at least I knew he tried for us.
At the moment, I knew we weren't a 'couple' but did we really need that title for others to see we were romantically involved. I knew Xavier was a personal man and I didn't blame him at all. I knew he would tell me he didn't care what others thought.
He was right of course, we were romantically involved, obviously, but we didn't need that title for others.
We wanted it for us.
As Xavier was moving around the kitchen, I snapped back to reality. Soon, Xavier was sat opposite me, as the food was cooking in the oven.
"I can cook it, you know." I said as he sat there. He nodded his head as he watched my finger tapping the table before him.
"I like doing it."
"Are you sure Google didn't tell you that the way to a woman's heart is food?" I stated with amusement. Xavier chuckled slightly.
"I wish I never told you." He replied. I laughed again.
"I find it amazing. In fact, I like you even more now." I said for his benefit.
"The feeling is mutual, Angel." Xavier replied, his humour gone, his seriousness back. He took my breath away all the time.
He said he had no passion, but how could he say that when his words dripped with it.
I know he used to be cold and lonely but he was warm and passionate and loving and it just took my mind somewhere else.
How could he doubt himself so much?
I leaned over the table slightly to watch him, yet I saw his eyes flicker from my tapping fingers and to my cleavage.
I suddenly felt exposed under his darkening eyes, but I didn't move.
"Emily." His voice was warning, but I didn't move any further back.
Xavier got up slowly from his chair and went to the oven to turn it off. He left the food in the oven before coming over to me, like a predator, an animal.
"I warned you." He stated before picking me up and sitting me on the table. my breathing hitched. "I guess this is round two." And his lips found my neck.
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I haven't edited, but I hope there is no mistakes:)
Okay, so I didn't do a scene because I don't feel comfortable doing one yet I'm only a young girl okay?;)
( GUYS fast forward like 4 years and I am now an adult and I still haven't written a sex scene, shock I know! Maybe one day I will find the time to write Xavier a sex scene!.... keep an eye out ) * I wrote this comment after I saw I had over 180 comments. lol, you guys are the best.*