I chose to sit with Luna on the way back. I got on as late as possible so everyone would have seats. I wasn't ready to explain why I looked the way I did.
I had lost weight and food was a bit hard to eat. I knew Harry and them would understand but there was a difference between telling them and them already knowing.
Luna took one look at me and didn't ask a single question. I pushed all the way down to the window and leaned against it, letting my head rest against the cold glass.
The white scene was gorgeous as it sped by us. It was pure and untouched and so perfectly cold. Winter was the best.
"Did you know you could die of loneliness?" Luna said abruptly.
I looked at her and pushed my head off the window. "Yeah?"
"It's one of the worst feelings in the world." Luna added. "I felt it when my mum died."
I nodded. "I feel it every day."
"We need a cure."
I scoffed. "That would be nice."
We didn't talk for the rest of the trip. Luna read her magazines upside down and I watched the trees and water and snow go by, wondering how to talk to my friends later. I couldn't avoid them like I did last semester but I couldn't quite tell them...
I was last to get off the train and I caught the last carriage. I skipped dinner and went straight to bed.
The next morning I was up before everyone else and walked the grounds to clear my head. I didn't go to class and I didn't go to any meals.
I got to the Dark Forest around noon and the thestrals were all glad to welcome me. I pet them despite my freezing fingers and enjoyed their happy head butts.
The sound of snow crunching made me turn around and I winced slightly as Harry walked up. He didn't look very happy.
"Happy new year." He said a little coolly.
"Happy new year." I nodded respectfully.
"Your aunt Bella paid me a visit during the holiday. Molly and Author are rebuilding their home as we speak." Harry said.
I let out a breath and closed my eyes, hanging my head.
Great. Something else to blame on me.
"They'll make it through. They're strong."
I wasn't expecting that. I looked at him and he walked closer.
"What did they do to you?" His voice was so low I barely heard it.
I wished I hadn't. My eyes watered without my say so and that was enough for Harry to change the subject.
"I got you something. I would've sent it Christmas day but after Bellatrix I didn't think it a good idea." He pulled out a box from his cloak and handed it to me.
I opened it slowly and smiled a little. It was a necklace with a C on it. Tackey and predictable but... cute.
"Thanks."
"Here." Harry took it out of the box and went behind me, wrapping the necklace around my neck. I moved my hair out of the way and let him clasp it at the back. "There. I remember the necklace you used to wear and it's similar."
"It was a gift from my dad. But this is much better." I replied.
His hands slid down my shoulders and I turned to face him, welcoming his warmth.
"I'm sorry for my aunt Harry. Only Voldemort can tell her what to do." I explained.
"I get it. If you knew about the attack you would have warned me." Harry replied, tucking his hands back in his pocket.
I nodded and twirled the necklace around in my fingers. It was cold but kind of refreshing in a way.
"I don't know what they did to you... and you don't have to tell me. You don't have to say a single word. Just know that... you're safe here. Nobody can touch you while we're around." Harry explained.
I nodded again, my voice failing me. I didn't know how I got so lucky and honestly, I didn't even want to blink or maybe I would miss something. It was my turn to kiss Harry and he kissed back easily, wrapping his hands around me. I pulled away, resting my forehead on his.
My mum told me to survive. It was time to start figuring out how exactly I would do that.
...
"So Dumbledore told me he wanted to collect me." Harry explained as he, Hermione and I walked through the halls. We had a free period and Ron was off with Lavender somewhere.
"He collects people?" Hermione frowned.
"Like trophies, yes. Honestly he really just likes to show them off. He's overly proud of the students that he likes and Cora and I are halfway there." Harry explained.
"I still don't get how this helps." I told him.
"Well, he collected Voldemort. Tom Riddle. At the last dinner party he mentioned pretty much everyone. Even my parents." Harry said.
"So the plan is..." I looked at him, waiting for him to get to the point.
"Let him collect us." Harry said.
"Alright." Hermione stopped and so did we, turning to her. "I'm heading to the library. I just have some things I need to check."
"Mysterious." I smirked.
Hermione rolled her eyes and left without another word. Harry and I continued on, not thinking anything of it. Hermione spent most of her life in the library, it was nothing new.
Harry and I slipped into the last potions class of the day just as it was ending. I liked potions but I was really glad Slughorn let me take it off when I needed to. I hadn't been able to come to class for the past few days, too drained and still trying to eat.
"Aha," Slughorn smiled when he saw us. "If it isn't the Prince and Princess of potions themselves." I ignored the blush creeping in and luckily Harry did too. "Cora, are you feeling better?"
"Getting there." I answered truthfully. I took a stool and sat down, letting Harry take the lead.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Slughorn asked, packing up.
"Sir, we wondered if we could ask you something." Harry replied.
"Ask away, dear boy, ask away."
"The other day I was in the library, in the Restricted Section, and I came across something rather odd about a very rare piece of magic." He said.
Slughorn stopped, trunk in hand and his expression had changed. He always had this scrunchy face look but we had become accustomed to them by now.
"Yes..." The professor muttered. "And what was this rare piece of magic?"
"Well, I don't know." Harry acted caught and honestly, it was hot to see him play this part.
"Not even I can remember the name." I added.
Harry nodded and continued. "It just got us wondering, are there some kinds of magic you're not allowed to teach us?"
"I'm potions master. I think your question is better posed to Professor Snape." Slughorn said sheepishly, walking by us.
I stood from the stool, that would make him stop but instead it was Harry's voice. "Yes um... he and I don't see eye to eye, sir."
"Well he teaches Cora potions as well." Slughorn tried.
"He actually stopped coming to lessons so I'm guessing those are over." I told him.
"What we mean to say is, he's not like you." Harry was getting desperate. "He might misunderstand."
Slughorn's face was turning into anger the further we pushed and I stepped back a little, not wanting to anger my favourite teacher.
"Yes. There can be no light without the dark. And so it is with magic." He replied more carefully. "Myself, I always strive to live within the light. I suggest you two do the same." He turned to leave.
"Is that what you told Tom Riddle, sir?" Harry piped up. "When he came asking questions?"
The professor stopped and turned slowly. Now I was afraid of this anger.
"Dumbledore put you up to this didn't he?" Neither of us answered. "Didn't he!"
Completely horrified, Professor Slughorn sped off out of the class. I sighed and Harry looked at me, his shoulders slumping a little.
"It's alright. You'll figure it out." I said.
"I'll go see him later tonight. Let him cool down a bit. Maybe I should go alone." Harry said, glancing at me.
"Good idea."
I understood. The whole Malfoy name and all. It would be safer telling what he knew to a bird much less Harry Potter. And definitely not me.
I was more than happy to sit this one out.
Harry and I left together and he decided he wanted to take a walk before dinner. I gladly came with, trying to work up an appetite before going but still, the closer we got, the more nervous I became.
The meal rolled around and we got to the entrance of the Great Hall before I had to stop. Harry pulled me aside quickly as the crowd would have swept us away. I leaned against the wall and sighed, running my hand over my braided hair. It really was the easiest hairstyle to deal with and I wouldn't have it any other way.
"We don't have to go in." He said.
"No I should. Besides, Hermione might go ballistic if we're both missing." I replied, standing up straight and rolling my shoulders back.
"It was that bad?" Harry frowned.
"Let's just say they don't care who the traitor is. Not following the Dark Lord is inexcusable." I explained.
Harry looked around and I could see his face turning a little red. I looked down at his balled up fists and wrapped my hands around them, stepping closer.
"Hey. It's alright. I'm alright." I said softly. I used my finger to turn his head back to me. "I'll be fine."
"You might not be the next time we spend so much time away from each other."
I shrugged. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, Love."
"Love?" Harry smirked and his hands unclenched.
The blush happened so quickly, I couldn't hide it. "Shut up." I turned quickly and walked into the Great Hall, trying to get as far away from him as fast as possible.
I sat next to Hermione and she suddenly sat up straighter, her expression instantly changing. That was enough to keep me around.
Dinner tasted amazing. I ate less than half my plate but it was more than I had in a few weeks so I was proud. Nobody questioned me on it and I was grateful for that. Ron and Lavender were together of course but Ron didn't look as pleased as he did before. She was giggling and kissy and all he wanted to do was eat.
I felt a little bad for the boy.
A little.
Dinner finished and I followed my friends back to the common room. We joked the whole time about Snape's cape getting caught and agreed he should have gotten rid of it ages ago. It was less scary and way too superhero like and the man was anything but.
Hermione and I waved bye to Harry once we got to the common room and quickly changed into different clothes. The other girls weren't around so Hermione thought it best we stay in the dorm for the night. I didn't argue, thinking it was a brilliant plan. Nobody looking in, no noses in our way.
Just us.
"I got you something." She said once we had made ourselves comfortable by the window between our beds.
"'Mione you really-"
"Spare me the good samaritan talk." She handed me a package with a bow on it and crossed her legs underneath her.
I laughed and ripped off the beautiful wrapping paper. Before opening it, I knew it was a book. Only I wasn't expecting it to be one I hadn't yet seen before. The cover was odd. Not leather bound or hardcover. I didn't even understand the photo but Hermione's face was full of wonder.
"What's it about?" I asked.
"I don't want to spoil it."
"Lord of the Flies." I read the title and flipped through the pages quickly.
"It's a classic in the Muggle world. I read it and knew you would like it and if you do, I can get you more." Hermione pulled at her sleeves nervously and the smile on my face was so big my cheeks hurt.
"This is the best gift anyone has ever given me." I looked up at her and hugged the book to my chest. "Thank you, Hermione."
She nodded, smiling. "I know you don't want to talk about it but... just know that I'm here. I'm not like the boys."
"I know." I sat the book in my lap and ran my fingers over the title. "It's just hard to talk about because... family is... they uh..."
"You don't have to say it."
"No I should." I said quickly. I took a deep breath and looked at my best friend. "Family is supposed to love you."
"Not even Draco?" Hermione asked.
"Turns out being twins doesn't mean shit in this world." I spat.
"Cora..." Hermione rubbed my knee and I realized I was crying. I quickly wiped my tears and pushed the rest down.
"Nobody in my family would have thought of me like this. So thank you."
Hermione nodded and I set the book on my bedside table to be read later.
"I got you... another book." Hermione said, pulling out a bigger one from behind her back. Only this one wasn't wrapped.
"A library book?" I frowned.
"It was the only one they had and it's a bit vague but helpful."
"What are you getting at, Granger?" I asked her.
"It's a book on how to use and control, magic without a wand." She placed it between us and flipped it open to the book marked page.
Scanning the page quickly, she turned it to face me and pointed to the photo.
"Every witch or wizard has the ability to do this. We can conjure things, turn things. People can be an animagus and werewolves can still be wizards. There's always a cross in this world. But some people are more powerful than others. They're all the same with a wand but without one, they can do incredible things." She explained.
"And you think I'm one of those people?" I frowned. "Come on 'Mione."
"Cora listen!" She sighed and glanced around, trying to get her thoughts. "I... I may hide in the books and I may not speak deep feelings other than doing what is right but I'm not an idiot. I see things. I understand when something dangerous is happening. And I'm not going to sit around and do nothing while the world burns."
"How does this help anything?" I sighed.
"If you can harness this power, you may be able to get away from your family before it's too late."
That was the sweetest thing I had ever heard someone say. I looked back down at the book and read through the first page. I knew Hermione was watching me but I took my time anyway, digesting the words and the news she had sprung on me. I flipped the page and saw a protection charm, along with ways of conjuring.
"This is mad."
"We live in a world with Thestrals and Hippogriffs. Not to mention house elves and teachers who wear capes." We both laughed and Hermione continued. "It's mad, but not impossible."
"What and you're going to teach me this?"
"I'm going to try." She said.
"You're one crazy witch, 'Mione." I said, flipping back a page.
"Yeah..." She giggled softly. "Besides if you leave me back in a world with just Harry and Ron, I'll bring you back and kill you again."
I laughed. "Fair enough. Where do we start?"