On May 8th, 1899 our beautiful daughter was born. She is a miracle baby. Our only daughter, our world. George spoils her constantly, he spends so much time with her, his awaited little girl. I named her Victoria, after my mother and my aunt. When I wrote to Aunt Victoria she was thrilled to hear that we had a little girl. I am glad that she warmed up to George.
Scarlett is staying again. Her son still calls george his father. I spoke to George about it, he argued saying that little george doesn't have a proper father but he eventually thought about it and agreed that he should be called Uncle instead. George doesn't seem to act normal as he would around Scarlett, he avoids her, doesn't engage in any conversation with her. My suspicions start to rise but I remind myself to not be a jealous. I trust George with my whole life. I sit outside with our sons as George has our little Vicky in his arms just doting all over her.
I smile as our little girl giggles at George's silliness, they are so precious together, she is definitely a father's daughter. She will be very close with her father as she grows up. I feel butterflies in my stomach as I think about our wonderful life, how we finally got the little girl that we waited for. I continue my sewing as little Sasha plays with Nicholas and Peter. The three of them are so charming and they are growing so fast. Nicholas is a little replica of George while Alexander looks more like me. Peter takes after my father, a little trouble maker he is indeed, god only knows how he will act in the future. However he does, he has a wonderful father to show him the right way.
I continue to sew as I think about Alix, she has yet to have a son, daughter after daughter for her, we seemed to have a similar issue until our little Vicky was born. My life feels perfect, as if it was a dream that I didn't want to wake up from. I hear George cough and I wonder if its just a little allergy. I watch him cough into a handkerchief and quickly put it away. He has been doing this more often and I asked him about it many times but when I do he avoids the conversation with something else.
"Are you alright darling?" I ask. "I'm fine my love!" He says back, turning away from me, saying something to our baby Victoria. I sigh wondering what is really happening, he wont tell me so I will find out myself. "Darling!" I stand up and walk to my husband, "Yes?" He turns to face me with our baby giggling. I smile at the sight of them, "I am going to town for a second I am missing some supplies for my sewing project" I lie. I hate lying to him but he can't know where I am off to.
"Oh alright darling but Miss Petrova can go into town and get it for you, you know how unsafe it is to go." He explains. "Yes well I need to get out of the house for a bit, I will be quick and I will have Miss Petrova with me." I tell him, "You have fun with little Vicky I will be right back." I kiss his cheek. I walk back into our summer house and get my purse and gloves. I call for Miss Petrova and we both enter the carriage. "To the doctors office please" I say to the carriage driver. Miss Petrova looks at me with wide eyes, "Your imper-," I cut her off, "Remember, its just Alice" I correct her, I hate titles, in the end we are all human.
"Alice," she corrects herself, "Might you be pregnant again?" She asks me. "What- Oh no Miss Petrova! No I don't think I am, I just have to ask the doctor a few questions about symptoms of an illness. "You are sick?" She asks me. "No- I- I think I know someone who might be, but you can not tell George that we came here alright?" I tell her. "One of the children are sick?" She asks me worriedly, "No, no Miss Petrova the children are fine, this doctors visit is just for curiosity." I hold her hand.
Miss Petrova relaxes a bit as she holds her hand over her heart. The carriage stops and quickly get out and walk to the doctors office. One the staff see me enter their eyes widen as they all bow. I go up to the front desk, "Hello I would want to see Doctor Vasyvev" I say. "O-of course your imperial highness" the receptionist bows and goes to the other room to get the Doctor. I see the older man walk out with the receptionist, "Ah Grand Duchess Irina, what brings us together today?" He smiles.
"Um I-," I start but he cuts me off, "Come, sit down" he leads me to his office. I follow him and sit down across from him, "Tea your imperial highness?" He offers me. "No thank you" I decline, "I actually came here to ask a few questions about symptoms and what they can mean" I tell him. "Oh are you experiencing symptoms of pregnancy again?" He asks me. "What? No! Um, I know someone that often coughs into a issue has major chest pains, fever, sweats often, and has lost of strength." I name the things that I have witnessed. The doctor's eyes widen, "Your imperial highness don't tell me that you also are the one experiencing these symptoms." He says frantically. Also? He knows what George has too?
"No, I'm just wondering what illness most likely causes these symptoms?" I press him for answers. "Tuberculosis" he says quietly. My heart drops I feel sick, "Tuberculosis?" I repeat weakly. "Yes-," but I cut the doctor off, "Thank you" I stand up and leave back to the carriage silently as tears stream down my face.