This chapter is deticated to those who struggle with depression or cutting. I know it is like to feel like your life is not living for. But dont give up, things will get better, This won't last forever. Be strong. Don't give up!
Lots of love
-Emily
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I woke up from a dream about my father. He's dead though i dont know why i would be having nightmares or dreams about him. Its been almost 15nyears since he died. I haven't spoken to my brother Alec since we wentt our seperate ways after I gradutated from college. My mother was the only one i stayed in touch with becuase of her addiction to Alcohol. I really missed my brother but since then i realized he probably doesn't want to speak or even see me. Its kind of sad to think that my family just split up after my father died. Its really hard to remember all of this, it hurts to know that my family gave up after my father passed. He clearly said to us "never give up" and we have. I got up and went into the bathroom, today was the day that i was going to stop cutting but i just needed to do cut today and now. I grabbed a razor blade and took a deep breath. I began to stroke the blade against my skin, then applied pressure and watch the blade cut open my scars from previous cuting marks. The blood oozed out and i bit my lip holding back a cry. Nathan shot up out of bed to the smell of blood. "Lana, baby". "Lana what are you--"
"Oh my god baby stop" he took the blade away after i made three cuts. "No nathan give it back", i shouted. "Lana why do you do this to yourself?". "I don't know".
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I have a couple questions for you guys and i would apperciated it if i could get feedback.
Ok so first off How should Lana be turned into a vampire and do you think she sould be a vampire?
Second, should nathan does something special like propose or something else? any ideas would be apperciated. please answer these questions for me it would help me write this book so you can enjoy it.
Thanks,
Emily.
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"Lana what could lead you to hurt yourslef like this Baby please tell me why you would do this to yourself". “Depression”, i whispered. “Baby tell me this isn’t the first time you’ve cut yourself, why would you do that to yourself you’re beautiful.” “Nathan you don’t know what its like to feel alone, feeling like you are alone.” “I do know how that feels, more than i want to admit.” "Nath--" i was speechless he really did know how i felt. I couldn't speak, no words formed only a cry. "Lana!!", Nathan held my waist. i calmed at his touch. He started to sing softly while draking circles on my back and stroking my hair lovingly. He sung one of the most beautifully written songs i have ever heard in my life. The one song that gave me strength, I'll be your strength.
"This is not gonna last forever
It's that time when you must hold on.
And I won't let you surrender,
And I'll heal you if you're broken.
We can stand so tall together.
We can make it through the stormy weather.
We can go through it all together, do it all together, do it all.
I'll be your strength.
I will, I will, I will.
I'll be your strength.
Yes I will, yes I will.
I won't sleep till the sky is calmer,
Keep on searching till I find you.
And my love will be your armor,
In this battlefield around you.
Hand in hand we will walk together,
We can make it through the stormy weather.
We can break down walls together, do it all together, do it all.
I'll be your strength.
I will, I will, I will.
I'll be your strength.
Yes I will, yes I will.
Hold on, hold on.
I'll be, there soon.
So hold on, hold on,
I'll be, there soon.
So hold on, hold on,
I'll be, there soon.
So hold on, hold on,
I'll be, there...
I'll be your strength.
I will, I will be.
I'll be your strength.
I'll be, I'll be
I'll be your strength.
I'll be, I'll be
I'll be your strength.
I'll be, I'll be
I'll be your strength.
I'll be strong for you
I'll be your strength.
And I'll keep strong for you."
He sings so beautifully i get lost in his voice and my tears are wiped away by his thumb. Things have changed between us. I understand him now, I know his Heart and he knows mine. I love him and he loves me.
"I love you Lana and i will always protect you, i will be there for you no matter what this is my promise to you", Nathan whispers to me i look into his eyes as they sparkle. "You promise me this?"
"Yes Lana I promise to protect you and love you even if it means that I die trying", He admits. "You cant protect me from everything". "I can and I will".
"Please Lana I will prtoect you with my life", He kissed me so passionately, it took my breath away. My fingers tangled in his hair, One hand on my waist and the other on the crook of my neck deeping the kiss. I couldn't breath, he stole my heart away.
"You deserve so much than you already have Lana, let me give it to you".
"Nathan You have my heart". He kissed me again more passionately than i could ever expect. His hands grabbed my waist and psuhed me against the wall. "I can give you more than what you want, Lana let me give you what you've wanted, i can give you the world of music." "I only want to make you happy."
"You've already made me happy Nath, I already have what I want." He smiled, "Just you being here Lana made me realize how deeply i love you. I Love you so much." He kissed me quickly and i melted into it. "I love you too Nathan, so much."
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Hey guys im sorry i havent updated in awhile. School and other things have me busy but i hope you liked this chapter. Comment, Vote
Thanks,
Emily!! <3