The person who saved my life

PART 1 -The beginning of it all: my mind.

⚠️TW: depression/suicide/self harm⚠️

This is me. Hello diary. This is so weird. Anyway, actually, this is the way I think. My name is Scarlett Jones and I am 19 years old. I'm gonna write everything down. I got diagnosed with depression when I was 12 years old. I've gotten therapy, medication, but nothing worked for me and I only started feeling worse and worse. I attempted suicide the 12th of January 2015, at age 13. I felt like I was disappointing everyone around me and I was in a very dark place mentally. But at a specific day, the day I met someone very special, my life was changed. The 9th of February 2015, it was my 14th birthday.

It was a tough day at school. We had math the first period, which I absolutely HATE. I slammed my bag on the table and sat down. I was sitting alone, as always. I was out of breath since I cycled all the way to school, my hair was soaking wet and raindrops were dripping down my face. I didn't sleep last night. Great, another tiring day. I wiped my face off with the sleeves of my new hoodie. I sank away in my thoughts until my teacher walked in. Everyone was chatting but all of a sudden it became silent. "Good morning class, open your books at page 23. Come on, hurry!" she said, while almost choking on her cup of black coffee. I rolled my eyes and grabbed my book out of my backpack. I opened it, but almost ripped my entire book apart since it was all wet. "Miss Jones, please be careful with your book! You need to use it for the rest of the year." Oh gosh, I didn't even tell you my name! I am Scarlett Jones. But just call me Scarlett. I opened my book at the right page and before my math teacher Rose could even start talking, I was already sinking away in my thoughts again.
All of a sudden we heard a loud knock on the door. My principal walked in. He's a tall man with broad shoulders, slightly grey hair and a mustache. I wasn't expecting anything positive to happen, cause usually when our principal walks in he doesn't have good news for us. But what I saw right at that moment completely changed my mind. Behind him I saw a short girl, with beautiful blue eyes. Ocean eyes. She had light brown/blonde hair and a cute button nose. I couldn't stop staring at her. "Hello students, I have great news. Here is a new student, please introduce yourself, miss O'Connell." The girl walked to the front of class and started talking. Her voice was soothing. "Um, hello everyone. My name is Billie O'Connell. Yes, Billie is my real name for those who were going to ask. I used to be homeschooled but here I am." She stood there quietly for a second. "Okay Billie, thank you. You can sit down next to Scarlett Jones, in the back of class." my math teacher said. She walked over to me, and as she passed by I could smell her cologne. She's perfect, I thought. I quickly told myself to stop thinking about that. I barely even know her, AND i'm straight. She sat down and looked at me for a little while. "Hello Scarlett. Your name is Scarlett right?" Billie said. While avoiding eye contact and nodded my head. "I'm Billie. Nice to meet you." I nodded my head again. Ugh, why am I like this! She probably thinks I'm either really mean or really stupid. Maybe cause I am. Anyway, since Billie was completely new and didn't have all her books already we shared my math book.
During the whole first period we didn't talk at all. My curly dark brown hair started to dry and so did my math book. The sun started to come out and I was getting a bit sweaty. I always wear hoodies, so maybe i should wear long sleeved t-shirts made of a thinner fabric more often. Without thinking about it, I rolled up my sleeves. I felt eyes laying down upon my arms. I looked around and at first I saw nothing out of the ordinary. But then I saw Billie looking at my wrists. My heart sank, and I rolled down my sleeves immediately. "I- I'm sorry for that. I didn't think about it for a second. I'm so stupid, I'm really sorry." I said stuttering. "It's fine. I know what you're going trough. There's no need to be ashamed." I felt my face glow red out of embarrassment, even though she told me not to be embarrassed. She said she knew what I was going trough? Did the principal tell her about it? That can't be, right? No, that would be weird. Why would a principal tell a new student about someone's mental problems, if that's how you wanna call it. Maybe she's going trough the same and that's why she told me that. Right then was when I felt it. Everything from that horrible night came back. Blacking out, the empty box of medicine. Falling to the ground. My mom finding me, crying and desperately calling for help. The ambulance. My stay in the mental hospital. I started having trouble breathing, I noticed I was spacing out. My vision became blurry. I threw up and passed out after.