Letters to Audrine

18- You're Too Cute

"At least I'll die a hero," he jokes as he walks both of us farther into the water. "Sharks aren't really that scary though. It's the stingrays and jellyfish that you really have to watch out for, they can really sneak up on you."

"Well, it's a good thing you're the one in the water, so you're the one that needs to watch out," I remind him with a laugh. We get into the water deep enough to where my toes are starting to dip in. The water is cool, which is an incredible contrast from the blistering heat that we've been walking in all day.

"Oh, I'm the only one in the water?" Silas questions in a taunting voice. Before I can ask him what he means by that, he's falling onto his back and submerging both of us in the shallow waters. I fall in with a squeal, quickly finding my bearings so that I'm able to stand back up. The water stops at my hips, and I'm quickly firing splashes of water in Silas's direction to get revenge for tossing me into the water.

I get a few good splashes in before Silas gets close enough to wrap his arms around my midsection, lift me up, and then toss me back into the water. I'm not able to close my eyes fast enough before my head is completely submerged, and I get some saltwater in my eye.

It stings enough that when I resurface, I call a truce. "Okay, you win, I won't sacrifice you to ocean life again."

"That's all I ask," he smiles at me, kisses me quickly, and then sinks into the water so that he's sitting in the sand. "So what did those letters say? The ones you took home a few days ago."

"They were letters where he wrote about what kind of family he wanted to have," I answer Silas as I join him in the sand. As I talk, I run my fingers through the soft sand under water, picking out a few shells before inspecting them and then tossing them back into the water. "About how he had dreamed of them starting a family together, how he'd raise his kids and spoil his grandkids. It was surreal to read about him talking about me, without him actually knowing that he was talking about me."

"Oh, that must have been nice to read," he says.

"It was," I agree with him. "I mean, I know in the letters, he was talking about having a family with Audrine, but it still makes me happy knowing that he got the family that he wanted. He got the kids, the grandkids, everything that he wanted. Except for Audrine."

"On the bright side," Silas mentions, "If he did have a family with her, we would be related."

"Yeah, that would make things pretty weird," I agree with a laugh. "He'd always been such a family man, so it's not a surprise that even when he was my age, he was thinking about what kind of family he wanted. He was at every recital, swim meet, ceremony, on the sidelines cheering me on. He went to more events than either one of my parents did, because he always chose family over work."

"He sounds a lot like my mamé," he says. "She couldn't always choose me over work, but she always tried her hardest, and she did a good job of it. So did my mom, she was always at every event growing up."

"You don't talk about your mom very much," I state the obvious, hoping that I don't upset him when I do. He didn't seem to want to talk about it earlier, but he brought her up again so I'm wondering if maybe it is okay that I ask more about her.

"I know," he says vaguely. "It's kind of depressing to talk about."

"I think it can be cathartic," I suggest, finding a big spiral seashell in the sand that we're sitting in. It's all intact, no chips at all, and no living creature inside. It's so pretty that I tuck it into my bikini top to take it home with me. "I mean, I know that everybody handles grief differently, but it helps me to talk about my grandpa. Instead of being sad about his death, I like to talk and be happy about the good things."