How the Trash Rat Stole Christmas (Attempted to, at least.)

How the Trash Rat Stole Christmas

For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Sides, dark and light,

Would wake bright and early. They'd rush at the sight!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!

Noise! Noise! Noise!

That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!

NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

"I'm gonna shut them up with their own-" The next words he used were not family-friendly, that's for sure

Then the sides, left and right, would sit down to a feast.

And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!

FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

"They're food is gross too, besides the tree." He commented. He always thought the ornaments were a nice touch. He's been telling Thomas to eat them for years!

They would feast on imaginary-pudding and rare imaginary-roast beast.

Which was something the Trash Rat couldn't stand in the least!

He didn't like that kind of meat, and it's not recommended to ask him what kind he likes. No matter what it is, you won't like the answer.

And THEN They'd do something He liked the least!

Every Side in the Mind palace, the strong and the weak,

Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.

They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Sides would start singing!

They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!

SING! SING! SING!

"Why sing about that guy when you could sing about Adam and Eve? They just lack imagination!" He said, then started singing to himself. He was proud of himself for that song, as his brother was more of the songwriter.

And the more the Trash Rat thought of the Sides days of Christmas song,

The more the Trash Rat thought, "I must burn this place, I was right all along!"

"Why, for twenty-three years I've put up with it now!"

"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

THE TRASH RAT GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I can only think of traumatizing them into not having it... Oh!" He came to a realization. Oh no.

"I know just what to do!" The Trash Rat laughed in his throat.

And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.

"I'm kinda hot in this!" He exclaimed, striking a less-than-innocent pose in his floor-length mirror. He made the coat just long enough to cover his shame and decided to ditch the whole pants thing in favor of his red knee boots that weren't actually his. Red was his brother's thing.

And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Trashy trick!"

"With this coat-dress and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer..." The Trash Rat looked around.

All he did was glance at the dirty floor of his bedroom.

But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.

Did that stop the old Rat? No! The Trash Rat simply said,

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

So he called his rat, Checker. Then he took some red thread,

And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.

He took the tread and basically choked the rat with it. "Stop complaining, getting choked is fun!" He said, giving him a small kiss on the head once he was done

THEN He thought some bags And some old empty sacks,

Thought a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Check.

Then the Trash Rat jumped on, saying "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,

Down down down it when.

It fell through the floor, no more did it smell like mint

He screamed in amusement, but no one could hear.

He dropped down to the imagination, feeling anything but fear.

He didn't realize, or he realizes too late

Imaginary floors can't hold that much weight.

And there he was, The Trash Rat and his sleigh.

Doomed there for the rest of the day.

The sides found it strange, the silence of the house,

So they went to save him, creeping like a mouse

(now goes ABAB instead of AABB)

The thing is, the Imagination is fine

But you can't get out alone

So there's the moral, my dear, my divine

Don't make a sleigh

And don't try to ruin a home.