"mom, can we have muffins?"

goats and demons - oh my!!!

*BadSchlatt (Past Skephalo, QuackSchlatt)

I have never seen them together in a fanfiction, thus I am not really proud to say this is probably a first. Reasoning behind it, IDK I just thought their interactions would be funny. But my edgy ass self instead made it kinda sad, so yeah

TW: Cursing, Sexual Implications, Toxic Relationships

///

It came to a surprise to almost everyone when BadBoyHalo and Jschlatt began hanging out more and more with each other. 

Dream shakes his head, something akin to concern in his eyes as he guides his drunk friend back to his home. As said drunk friend babbles incoherently about his past lover.

///

"Fucking bitch, can't go a day without fucking something," Schlatt slurs, harshly grabbing Bad's hips, sharp nails cutting into the soft warm skin beneath. 

Bad only hisses in pain, eyes glaring towards the older man. 

"Just get on with it," he snaps, voice full of hatred, words slurring together due to the alcohal. 

Both of them are drunk, and probably not sober enough to pretend to care about each other as they do when surrounded by the other members of the server. As if to prove a point, Schlatt harshly kisses the demon beneath him, which is returned with equal force. Their gums bleed, and if they were human they probably would have lost some teeth. Bad harshly bites the intruding tongue, causing metallic blood to coat his mouth and the other to retract in pain. He glares towards the other, hands still running up and down his sides. Bad glares back, own hands harshly gripping the others shoulders. 

///

Both of them hate each other for the lack of a better word. Only being together because both of their lovers are dead. At first it had been a tentative friendship, Bad baked muffins for the other (if they had weed within them - who had to know), Schlatt shared his special stash of hard liquor. It had been really a way for both of them to relate to each other on the basis that their lovers were both dead. The only ones where had lost a significant other to the same extent. 

Both of them voted for the execution of Wilbur Soot, and for TommyInnit's exile. 

"He's just a kid, " Niki had pleaded, but she knew the answer was finale when her words were met with steely eyes. 

The ghost of Tubbo only smiled, singing an offtune song as his best friend pleaded for forgiveness. The other just smiled before asking the other who they were to him. The look of defeat only melted the ice in their eyes for a moment before it was back full force. 

Not to say that others hadn't lost anyone, but no one had lost their lover apart from them. So it was only natural for them to be drawn to each other on the basis of their loss. 

Even if for the remainder of the DreamSMP their tentative budding relationship didn't make sense. 

To be truthful it didn't make much sense to them at all.

///

"Fuck you," Schlatt hisses. Calloused hands grabbing the others hips pulling him towards his lap. Bad groans at the harshness; dull claws leaving faint pink lines on pale shoulders. 

Clothes are messily thrown off sweaty body, lips and teeth clashing against each other. The smell of alcohal heavy in the air. 

"Hah, " Bad moans, Schlatt slamming the others hips onto his arousal," shit, be careful."

"Don't be a fucking pussy," Schlatt growls back, " don't tell me that you can't take dick and balls up your ass." 

Bad only digs his claws into the others back, before lowly whispering, "Skeppy had a bigger dick than you could ever have." 

Schlatt is a lot harsher that night, it doesn't matter because so is Bad. 

///

For the last few days Bad has been having awful morning sickness. Here's the thing Bad isn't human, he's a demon. Which has completely different genetic and biology than a human - magic flows in his veins. 

"Skeppy, have you ever thought of having kids?" Bad asks, eyes averted to the task at hand, which is making muffins.

Skeppy grins, hugging the other around the waist. Kissing the other soflty on the cheek. 

"With you? Of course," Skeppy says punctuating the sentence with a soft kiss, Bad happily grins turning around to face the other. 

He nibbles on the muffin, trying not to upset his stomach any further. Anxiety clawing up his body. A gloved hand placed gently over his stomach. 

The potion used to determine pregnancy sits on the table. 

It's positive. 

A bitter smile covers the man's features - he knows whose child it is, and it isn't Skeppy's.  

He thinks about it some more. Outweighing every consequence that each decision he makes will make. 

Crystal tears failing down his cheeks, as he remembers his past lover. 

He makes up his mind, and drinking another potion - this time for invisibility, he heads out. Pregnancy potion underneath his cloak. 

///

Schlatt has a splitting headache, and his breath smells of alcohal and tobacco. 

He groans as he makes his way out of bed, picking up his lazily thrown clothes off the floor on his way to the bathroom. 

After a quick cold shower, he hears an urgent knock at the front door. He heaves a sigh before angrily making his way down the front door. 

He isn't expecting to find his current fuckbuddy at the door. 

Or the words that come out of said fuckbuddy's  mouth. 

"I'm pregnant," The demon says, holding out the potion to prove his words. 

"Shit." 

The other only grimly agrees.