life may not be fair but it sure is beautiful

Useless coward

Jungeun wrapped her arms around her and started crying as well. "Don't you ever think for a moment that I hate this too? I hate that you are a princess and I am merely a guard. I hate that we can't be together because the second a command leaves your father's mouth, it is an order. I hate that I can't let go of you either even if every single logical part of me says that we are impossible. I hate that I can't hug, cuddle, kiss, and appreciate you in front of everyone so that they would know we belong together. I hate how unfair life is."

They wept together for what seemed like hours. The night was still upon them, darkness surrounding them to emphasize their tragedy.

"You should go. I don't want you to die because you stepped in my room." Said Jiwoo sniffling.

"I can stay until you fall asleep." Offered Jungeun with a whisper. Jiwoo's puffy eyes fluttered and she held her hand to pull her towards her bed. They laid down face to face, not touching at all, only eyes met in the most intimate way. They did not utter a word until Jiwoo moved her hand to Jungeun's face. Her touch was lighter than a feather, but it felt like a crushing wave to Jungeun.

"I would give up everything just to be able to sleep like this every day." Jiwoo whispered. She scooted closer to Jungeun and buried her face in her chest. "Just hold me, Jungie. Hold me until this is all just a mean nightmare."

After an hour, the princess' breathing slowed down and Jungeun made sure she was deep asleep. This was the last time that they could share like this, engulfed by their feelings and embraced by their affection. She sneaked out of Jiwoo's room, seeing if anyone was around before she ran towards the training courtyard. The sun wasn't visible yet, but the sky began to lighten a bit. Jungeun felt drained at the same time she felt fury and frustration pump through her veins. She found her sword from the equipment chest and began to train. The only thing that could get her mind from this was pure exhaustion that came after training for hours. She swung her sword at the practice dummy with full strength, dummy's head falling to the ground, rolling away from her to end up at someone's feet. She raised her head to see who dared to interrupt her practice session only to see a face so familiar yet so strange.

The man in front of her looked like her distorted mirror image. He looked like a more masculine version of her, but their face was strikingly similar. The man in front of her spoke with a playful grin.

"Such anger in such a tiny boy, at this hour on top of that. Are you okay?" he asked, half-serious. "Do you need a partner to lash out at?"

"Who are you? Do you have permission to be on palace grounds?" Jungeun asked as she tried to wipe away her sweat which was dripping off her chin.

"My name is Lee ChaeHyuk, I am the King's guest. Is that answer enough?" he said kicking the dummy's head away as he walked towards the pile of weapons. "I couldn't sleep so I came out to stretch a bit. Can I join you?"

Jungeun squinted her eyes as she examined Chaehyuk. He seemed genuine but that wasn't enough to let someone handle weapons on the palace grounds. But also, she couldn't let him wander around alone so she had to stall him.

"I'm tired of swords, would you join me for a hand-to-hand?" said Jungeun, putting her sword back.

"Ah, I see, you are not sure if I am trustworthy, so you plan to keep me in your sight and away from weapons. Good thinking." He said with a smile. "Alright, show me what you are capable of, ....? What's your name again?"

"Kim Junghyun."

"Junghyun-sshi, let me see your skills, eh?"

And with that their dancing started. Jungeun had to admit that this 'Lee Chaehyuk' was good but not her level quite yet. If he was who he claims to be, he was probably a nobleman's son who had training but not at a military level. He did challenge her, but she still didn't break a sweat.

"You are really good, Junghyun-sshi. Are you a soldier, maybe?" he asked out of breath. The sun shone upon them as if it tried to erase all the mistakes of yesterday.

"Royal guard but close." She answered punching him from his side. As he doubled over in pain, she kicked him by his shoulders and twisted his arm.

"I surrender!" he groaned out in pain. Jungeun let go of him and walked towards the well that provided water to training guards. She filled two cups and offered one to Chaehyuk who was still laying down, breathing heavily. He accepted the drink with a thank you and sat upright.

"What made you so angry, Junghyun-sshi?" asked Chaehyuk after he got himself back together. "No one goes berserk like that over nothing."

Jungeun, deciding to stick with the safe bet, answered with a truthful lie. "My wife died not so long ago. I can't seem to get over it." She said, looking at her water cup the whole time. "I can't sleep but training helps me."

Chaehyuk looked loss at words. "How old are you exactly?"

"Sixteen." She answered with a look that dared him to make a comment. She was amused a bit.

"I'm curious about your story but I'm not an inconsiderate jerk so I won't bother you anymore." He said getting up. "I will pester some maids for gossip anyway."

Jungeun laughed a little before she got up herself. "Why are you the King's guest, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh, now that you reminded me, I do have to go and clean up before he summons me. I am to marry his daughter; Princess Jiwoo I believe." He said as he bowed. "It was nice meeting you Junghyun-sshi. Take care."

Chaehyuk left Jungeun alone and dumbfounded in the courtyard. She didn't know how to respond. Why did the gods hate them? Did her fiancé have to be someone so nice that she couldn't hate?

Sometimes she just wished she faked her own death.