life may not be fair but it sure is beautiful

Boyhood

"Faster Junghyun. Your enemy will not wait for you to gain your balance back." Her father yelled as he swung the wooden sword her way for the hundredth time that day. Little Jungeun, at the age of seven, knew how to handle a sword properly, could read and write, could ride a horse with skill and most importantly she was still resembling a boy with her pointy face and sharp cheekbones. What would time do to her appearance was beyond anyone's knowledge but until then her secret was safe.

"Why do I have to be a boy, mama?" she asked with caution as her mom bathed her. She was afraid that her mother would get angry at her question like her father did. "Would my father not like me if I lived as a girl?"

Her mom's hand stilled in her shoulder-length hair. Jungeun was preparing for a slap but all she felt was a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face her mother, only to see her eyes filled with tears.

"Your father loves you Jungeun-ah. He just loves Junghyun more. I'm sorry that you have to be a boy even if you don't want to. It's just the way your destiny is. You are my Kim Jungeun but to everyone else, you are Kim Junghyun, son of Kim Jungmin. Do you understand me, my little star?"

"Do you understand me boy?" her father asked. "Lift your sword up like this when you are in this kind of a situation."

Jungeun nodded meekly as she lifted her sword as her father asked. As the sparing went on for hours her noona watched them from the balcony. Nobody except the people who were in the room that day and only one of her siblings knew the truth.

Kim Taeyeon was the only person except for her mother in Jungeun's life that loved her for who she was. She didn't ask questions when she came from training all sore and bruised, she just prepared a hot bath and helped her wash. She didn't talk much but Jungeun knew that she cared. And that was enough.

"Put your sword away and go wash. Tomorrow we have things to do so dress well." Her father said as he went through the door. "You will meet Princess Jiwoo tomorrow, behave."

She bowed respectfully to her father until he couldn't see her anymore. She sighed with exhaustion, she had a lot to do.

Once she set foot in her room, she discarded all her clothing and grabbed her towel. "Noona! Could you prepare my bath?" she half yelled at Taeyeon.