SWITCHING COLLARS (Book 3 of the Collar series)

CHAPTER 7 - Guilty feelings

After a restless night, Melanie woke to the delicious smell of coffee and noticed a steaming mug on her bedside table with a note that said '"Morning Angel, gone to buy eggs."

She propped herself up on her pillows and sipped at her coffee. It was hot and black and sweet, the perfect start to any day. She frowned when she noticed a chip at the bottom edge of the mug. It brought back a memory of when Reece dropped it, and how it bounced on the tiled floor, spraying coffee all over the kitchen cupboards. They couldn't understand why it never broke, just a chip out the base and now a memory of a moment she needed to push aside and a mug she needed to throw away.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Cirrus walked in carrying a tray.

"Breakfast in bed for my special Angel."

Cirrus's smile made her feel guilty. She needed to get her head straight and stop thinking about the past.

"Wow, I am being spoilt. Breakfast served with a smile and a rose." She winked and lifted the rose to smell its perfume.

"Anything to make my future wife happy."

"Anything?"

"Yes. Melanie you are my everything and if it were possible I'd catch every shooting star for you."

After placing the tray on her lap, he kissed her forehead, smiled and said, "Now eat your breakfast before it gets cold."

All thoughts of Reece gone as she tucked into her delicious breakfast of fluffy scrambled eggs, toast, bacon and mushrooms, all done to perfection by her perfect man.

After her shower she threw on a pair of baggy sweat pants and Cirrus's favourite blue t-shirt.

"Cirrus, have you seen my wedding magazines? I left them on the coffee table."

"Have you looked in your bedside table drawer. That was the last place I remember seeing them."

Half an hour later Cirrus found Melanie sitting cross legged on the carpet surrounded by pages torn from the magazines.

"What are you doing?"

"Starting my wedding file."

"I thought you had your dream wedding idea all sorted."

"I do, but need to see it in live colour, just in case I find something I like more and some things like flowers and my dress need to be decided on early."

"Well, Angel I'll leave all the details to you just remember I'm here to help wherever you need me."

"I just wish...my mother was here."

Cirrus noticed the tears in her eyes and sat down next to her. "I'm sorry Angel." He put his arm around her and she nestled into his shoulder.

A tear escaped and ran down her cheek. He caught it with his finger and stared at the single drop until Melanie's voice disturbed his thoughts.

"Cirrus?"

He looked into her eyes. "Each tear you cry is precious to me, happy or sad. I want to share each and every moment whether they are tears of joy, sorrow or pain. Mel I wish I could write down in words how much you mean to me, how I feel when you're in my arms. How you look at me when you're angry, the way your eyes light up when you're happy. You are my everything and so much more."

Her sadness passed and she smiled. "Are you practicing your vows already?" She teased.

"Melanie Mckinney you've just destroyed my romantic moment."

She threw her arms around his neck and pulled herself onto his lap. "I'm sorry," and smacked a kiss on his unsuspecting lips.

He laughed, "You can be a little vixen sometimes, but now that you mention it those words could be part of my vows. Have you had any inspirational thoughts for your vows?"

" No not yet. There's plenty of time. There's still nine months before April." She said, counting down the months on her fingers."

"Hun, are you forgetting Christmas comes before our big day?"

"Ohh ... never even thought about Christmas and that's ... "

"Five months away Angel, and don't forget you accepted Sheena's invitation for us to spend a couple weeks with them over Christmas and New Year."

"No, I hadn't forgotten. Just didn't register that Christmas is only five months away. "

He pulled her to her feet. "I guess you better get motivated at a little faster pace." He kissed the tip of her nose.
...

It was one of those hot lazy Sunday's that Cirrus found suffocating. He left Melanie tearing out pages and decided to stroll down to the river and find a quiet shady spot to relax. He found an old wooden bench and was about to sit when his phone rang.

"Cirrus, my old friend, you still in land of the living." Dante's very recognizable deep voice and broken english, echoed through the phone.

"I'm getting stronger every day. It's so good to hear from you. How is life treating you?"

"We are good. You still coming for Christmas?"

"Yes, of course. Melanie is very excited to see both of you again."

"And how goes plans for wedding?"

"Good I think. Melanie is sitting on the carpet at home surrounded by wedding magazines, so I think she's getting it organised. I know she's very happy Sheena agreed to be her bridesmaid."

"Yes, yes, and I am honoured to be Best Man."

They chatted for some time before the topic they'd been avoiding came up.

"You miss the club, Cirrus?"

Cirrus hesitated for such a long time that Dante's voice startled him as it boomed through the phone and seemed to vibrate through his ear.

"Cirrus, hey you still there?"

"I don't know."

"What? You don't know if you there?"

"I don't know if I miss the club. Sometimes when the pain is bad and I can't sleep I think about the club and those I played with."

"So you miss only sometimes. Will you maybe come back one day?"

"No. I promised Melanie I would give up that life for her if she married me, but, if she ever changed her mind and wanted to try it again, then yes I would go back, as long as she shared the BDSM life with me as equal partners."

"Do you think sweet Melanie ever be strong dominatrix?"

"To be honest, no."

"She far too soft. Melanie has gentle soul."

"Gentle and beautiful inside and out. I love her so much, I'd give up everything and anything for her."

"And I love you too babe."

Cirrus jumped when he heard her voice behind him and swore loudly.

"Bloody hell Mel, don't sneak up on me like that. Almost gave me heart failure."

"I'm sorry. I thought you heard me coming. I wasn't sneaking up on you."

"How long have you been standing there?" He demanded.

"Cirrus why are you so angry?"

"I'm not, just don't come up behind me like that again."
He avoided her eyes, feeling guilty about the conversation he'd just had with Dante and wondered how much she'd actually heard. "Damn, I've lost his call now."

"Babe, I'm really sorry. Who were you talking too? Maybe you should call them if they don't call you back."

"It's fine Melanie, I'll talk to Dante another time." He turned away from her and started walking back towards the apartment. His thoughts in a muddle for the first time since he'd decided to quit BDSM and chase after Melanie and win back her heart.