harry potter imagines

Regret (James Potter)

"What the fuck did you expect me to do, you left before I'd even woken up, what did you expect" he yelled back and she just rolled her eyes

"Oh I don't know, maybe for you to have enough respect to not bring a girl to our apartment when you knew fine well I could hear everything in the flat below you" she growled and he laughed loudly as though she'd told a joke which just pissed her of even more

"Why would I do that when you didn't even have the decency to wake me up and left me to wonder where I went wrong" he retorted his voice growing colder and colder with every word

"Where you went wrong. Where you went wrong" she screamed, shocked that he couldn't comprehend something so simple "everything we done that night was wrong, every bit of it"

The room had fallen silent, neither knowing what else to say. The friendship had fallen. It was gone. It seemed it was so past repairable that the pair had completely disregarded even the thought of trying to calmly talk through it.

"So this is it then, after everything we went through together this is the end, it's over just like that" he asked quietly, breaking the long tense silence. She couldn't bring herself to look at him so kept her eyes on the ground. When he gained no response he knew what she was saying. He sighed loudly and left the flat. Then and only then did she let the tears fall.

***

It had been two weeks since the incident and Christmas Eve had been much sadder than usual. Y/n was the only person who had stayed for the holidays other than James and she was dreading Christmas Day. She came to the conclusion that she had to go get some of her things from her flat so that she wouldn't have to go up the next day, the day that was meant to be the most cheerful day of the year. The girls had told her she could stay in there apartment while they went to see their family's for the holidays and she took up the offer without a second thought.

Both James and y/n had, at the end of 6th year through to the beginning of there 7th year, experienced the worst losses a child can go through and last year they shared the day together, having no where else to go but to stay at school. This year however would be the first time the pair had spend Christmas completely alone. It was nearly impossible for them to make up in a mere 8 hours so there was simply no way they'd share the day together unless they were blessed by a Christmas miracle.

She was as quite as possible, tip tiptoeing through the bare living room that didn't have one Christmas decoration in sight and slipped into her room that hadn't been occupied for days. She hoped James would have went to sleep and finally let out the breath she had been holding in and sat down on her cold bed

She grabbed her travel bag and packed as much clothes as she could fit, not knowing how long it would be until she came back. And finally picked up the small photo frame sat at the side of her bed that she had wanted from the second she left.

It was a photo of there group on their last day at Hogwarts sat out by the lake. lily and Alice sat on the grass making daisy chains and laughing at the jokes peter and Remus were making as they sat next to them, peters knees pulled up to his chest and an open book lay in Remus' lap, Sirius and Marlene were kissing in the corner like they had been for months leading up to the day the photo was taken, and finally James and y/n standing looking at each other, her laughing slightly at something he must have said, her eyes crinkling. she had never realised it before but the love James had in his eyes for her was clear and she was no different. There was no doubt that if a random person came across the photo they would believe the pair were in a relationship because the look in their eyes was one that you would only unintentionally be shared between two people who were in love.

It had clicked so suddenly in her head that the wave of realisation was one of the most overwhelming feelings she had experienced. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't have any feelings for him, and she most definitely would have known about them before now if she did. Maybe her heightened emotions were playing tricks on her. She simply could not love him. It was impossible. He was James, she was y/n. They were not meant to be together. But she knew they were. Lily had been telling her so since 4th year. She could try and pretend the feelings weren't there but she knew she loved him and hiding from that had already caused her, them, so much pain.